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Pickup guru Roosh V: “I’m a clown.”

Just like Pagliacci did, I try to keep my sadness hid
Just like Pagliacci did, I try to keep my sadness hid


Oh, dear. Our old friend Roosh – the rapey, racist expat pickup guru – seems to be having some sort of existential crisis. In a new post titled “Men Are Nothing More Than Clowns To The Modern Woman,” – yes, really – he laments the sad fact that women are no longer forced to rely on men.

There is definitely not a single woman alive in the Western world who needs a man. While in the past a woman had to put forth effort to obtain a husband who would help her survive, today she is protected by a welfare state that ensures she will never go hungry or spend one night on the street.


Well, Roosh can rest easy, because, at least in the United States, his nightmare of women not going hungry or being forced to sleep on the streets is just that, a bad dream. Presumably he will be pleased to learn that lots of women (and children) go hungry. Lots of women (and children) are homeless.

Even a child she has out of wedlock from a drunken night out will not have to suffer from her mistake, and that’s in spite of the fact that many nations already provide her with free contraception to compensate for her lack of judgement in selecting worthy mates.

A tad ironic coming from a dude who constantly brags about “raw dogging” it – that is, having sex without a condom – with drunk women he’s just met.

Anything required for a woman’s survival or pleasure can be easily achieved without her having to put forth commitment, sacrifice, or labor. She can shave her head, gain 50 pounds, and disfigure herself with tattoos yet still have many suitors to—at the minimum—have sex on demand.

Such a terrible injustice, that women Roosh finds unattractive are actually able to have sex.

Her food and shelter will be provided by a state which has embarked on an extraordinary effort to compete with men for her devotion and loyalty.

Again, in the US, not really.

So instead of looking for women who say that they “need a man,” Roosh has begun to focus on women who say that they “want a man.” Unfortunately, when he’s asked women if they want a man, “[o]nly in a few instances did a woman outright say yes, and these usually happened in Ukraine.”

Huh. Not sure that’s a real scientific poll there kiddo, as I imagine that very few women are going to answer “yes” to that question when it’s asked of them by this guy:

Do you want a man? Do you?
Do you want a man? Do you?

Anyhoo, so all this has given poor old Roosh a sad. Because women who don’t need men, who actually have options in their lives, are less interested in jumping into traditional long-term relationships than those with few options in life other than hooking themselves to a male provider.

And so, Roosh has sadly concluded, the typical young women of today

will treat you as a distraction to her more important job, girls’ nights out, and social networking validation happy time. Men have become an utterly replaceable and expendable commodity in a girl’s life. Her interest in a man is not unlike her interest in a new television show or Apple product … .

Huh. Or perhaps this is because you’re dating women at least a decade younger than you, in their early 20s, and this is how people in their early 20s often approach dating?

When I look at myself in the mirror, I don’t see a man who has improved himself over the years to be the best that his genes allow—I see a glittery skirt that a girl encounters in the mall.

You see a what now?

Is the skirt too expensive or is it on sale? Is there only one left of her size or is the rack full of them? Does she already have something similar or is it totally novel? Does her friends think it’s cute or just alright? After trying it on, does it flatter her body or make her look fat?

Dude, this metaphor really isn’t working for you.

We are like glittery pieces of fashion to women—items that she truly doesn’t need. Not only has she already collected so many of them, but she can easily obtain more within walking distance from where she lives. She can even browse online from home while in her pajamas through a nearly unlimited selection.


We are not men in the traditional sense—we are clowns.

Well, some men are.

With our tight game we have to be entertainers who create drama and excitement in a girl’s life, just long enough so that she spreads her legs and makes sexy noises, and even though she did commit such an intimate act with us, she will soon lose interest or simply get bored, and then move on to the next shiny cock that catches her eye.

Gosh, who would imagine that the women you have one-night-stands with after meeting them in a bar would treat you like a one-night-stand?

Also, if your penis is actually shiny, you might want to check with your doctor about that.

The other side of this coin is that we no longer need women. We don’t need them to maintain our home or cook good meals for us. We don’t need them in an age where having children is no longer important or valued.

That is true. Men are not incapable of cooking. I can even manage a grilled cheese sandwich once in a while. And, no, you’re not obligated to have kids. Heck, as a man you can get away with not having kids and not even have to take a lot of shit about it.

Whatever natural connection that once existed between the sexes has now been severed. Neither sex needs each other so we dedicate ourselves to corporations, entertainment, and base pleasures instead, and this is a great tragedy that most people believe is a sign of progress, a cause for celebration.

Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha.

I think Roosh think’s he’s had some sort of profound insight here. All because the 22-year-old women he spends his life pursuing don’t seem interested in properly genuflecting to him as a real man.

For the next girl I meet, I’m not going to ask her if she needs a man, because I know she doesn’t. Instead I will simply ask her if she wants a man, and if the answer leans yes, I will perform like the good clown I am so that she is entertained enough to have sex with me. Either she or I will eventually get bored and the relationship will end. Then I will simply repeat my performance on a someone new, because I’m a skilled clown, and that’s exactly what women today want.

You do that, Roosh, honey. Just try to make sure she’s actually sober enough to consent to your “performance” first. I know you have a little trouble with that.

Here’s a little video for Roosh to watch the next time he’s feeling down.

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9 years ago

Aw, I hope the guy finds the relationship he seeks. And lives to tell the tale 🙂

9 years ago

My theory about Roosh is that he really does need validation from women, and has built his whole life around getting it in his own twisted way. It explains why he’s so mad about “sluts” despite their apparent affinity for one another: a woman who’s just looking to get laid might just has easily have gone home with a different man, and might not have any particular interest in Roosh as a person. But if he can get a woman who wouldn’t otherwise be interested into bed with him, he can pretend she chose him, and maybe even likes him. He can pretend there’s something special about him.

All of which would almost be sad if, as others have said, he wasn’t applying such blatant double standards to his own behavior. He treats women like walking vaginas, but the thought of a woman treating him as a walking erection fills him with rage.

I alternate between feeling sorry for him and hating him. It’s gotta be hard to be so full of self-doubt and self-loathing (as someone who struggles with those things, I understand this all too well), but I can only spare so much sympathy for a multiple rapist, especially one who’s proud of it.

9 years ago

Enh, I hate myself too sometimes. If that is indeed the case with Roosh (and I’m not sure I believe it), then I can write him off as an example how if you hate yourself enough, that hate will spill over on everyone around you as well.

9 years ago

I neither hate him nor pity him. Scorn is the best he’s going to get from me; I think he’s contemptible. (I’d say beneath contempt, but my contempt can reach down a very long way.)

Big Bill Haywood
9 years ago

Just more proof that this “Roosh” character isn’t really a “pickup artist” banging different women every night. Think about it- If you were, why would you care about women “needing a man?” Are we supposed to believe that this guy is supposedly content getting laid every weekend, while at the same time wishing that he could really just play the role of a “provider” to some housewife? This is why I call bullshit on him, and double bullshit because he’s an expat. A lot of these people love going behind the former Iron Curtain and telling fairy tales about wild escapades, believing that the audience back home won’t or can’t check(often times that’s true).

I guarantee you this guy pays for sex. When he picks up on Eastern European women and they turn his ass down, he’ll no doubt claim that they’ve become “Westernized.” I see this all the time.

Roosh, if you can read this- You’re full of shit.

Naithom (@naithom)
9 years ago

Bravo! The big, strong gamer has had a mirror held up to his face only to discover that, not only is he not a king, nor even a clown as a clown provides entertainment, he is merely a spoiled, impotent little child angry that he’s finally had to learn that he’s never actually been the center of the universe.

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