Categories
a voice for men antifeminist women bears Dean Esmay domestic violence erin pizzey excusing abuse FemRAs imaginary backwards land misandry misogyny MRA oppressed men radfems oh my sexual harassment shit that never happened straw feminists

Erin Pizzey and the Canadian Elevator of Misandry

Men in Canadian elevators are sometimes also used as chairs.
Men in Canadian elevators are sometimes also used as chairs.

Does anyone here understand string theory and dark matter and all that physics crap? Because I am seriously beginning to wonder if Men’s Rights Activists literally live in an alternate universe that only partially intersects with our own.

In the universe I live in, Canada is a lovely and somewhat uncannily polite country to the north, the home of Rush and Kate Beaton and, I’m pretty sure, a lot of bears. To MRAs it is a land under the bootheel of a radical feminist gynarchy in which men cower in elevators because they are deathly afraid of being accused of sexual harassment.

No, really.

I was skimming through an old interview with good old Erin Pizzey, A Voice for Men’s pet domestic violence expert, probably because she’s the only one who thinks jokes about eating “battered women” — you know, like batter fried chicken — are hilarious.

In the interview, she was telling Dean “Long Tie” Esmay about a speaking tour she’d made in Canada — a place she describes as “one of the worst countries in the world.”  No, really. Here’s what she had to say about her harrowing ordeal:

I did a six week tour, with Senator Anne Cools, all across Canada. And there were some wonderful … uh, men’s groups, just struggling to keep going. And as we traveled and talked to men’s groups, we realized how terribly dangerous it is because it’s almost as though the entire government and the judiciary–the same people–had been infiltrated by very radical feminists out to get men. And I talked to people all the way across Canada. You know my mother was Canadian, and I’m half Canadian, and it hurt actually. See I was a child in Toronto, and my feeling as we went through is real fear. I remember I was working with Anne in the Senate and I walked in to the lift, and this man who was in the lift with me was cowering over in the corner. And I came out and I said to Anne, “What on earth was that about?” And she said, “Men are frightened. They just don’t know when they’re going to be told they’re sexually harassing somebody.”

I’ve highlighted several of the passages which I think may have entered our universe from the Bizarro Men’s Rights multidimensional wormhole of misandry.

But, seriously, what planet does this woman live on? Does she actually think something like this really happened? Was there really a man in an elevator with her who was literally cowering in the corner because he thought she would accuse him of  some sort of sex crime? Was there a man there at all? Was there even an elevator? Is Canada a real country? THEN WHO WAS PHONE?

136 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Ally’s right*

wtf autocorrect? Ally’s not straight >.< bad autocorrect!

Ally S
8 years ago

Also, while I’m by no means an expert, doesn’t most emotional abuse eventually amp up to physical abuse?

In my experience, yes.

Ally S
8 years ago

@Argenti

Uh oh. Maybe this is a sign that I’m not acting gay enough. Noooooo

(jk)

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
8 years ago

Putting Pizzey in charge of any sort of domestic violence program is like electing a pyromaniac as head of the local fire depatment. She seems to actively enjoy seeing and hearing about people being abused.

Ally S
8 years ago

She seems to actively enjoy seeing and hearing about people being abused.

So much so that she also believes that women enjoy being abused by men. Abuse is just a wonderful thing to her, so how can it be bad for anyone else?

:: vomits ::

brooked
brooked
8 years ago

I don’t get how you can separate emotional abuse and physical abuse. Are there physically abuse people that aren’t also emotionally abusive, who tell the person they physically abuse that they are wonderful, encourage them to be independent and live for themselves? Are there emotionally abuse people that isolate people, verbally uncut them and emotionally dominate them without threatening physical violence, abandonment or terrible consequences, such as the abuser’s suicide?
Also, I think it would be hard to make emotional abuse, by itself, a jailable offense. I think Pizzey realizes that, since she adds throwing things, destroying property and denying a partner access to communal property and shared finances. Those things sound pretty physical and/or criminal.

Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

“Are there emotionally abuse people that isolate people, verbally uncut them and emotionally dominate them without threatening physical violence, abandonment or terrible consequences, such as the abuser’s suicide?”

Yeah, my gaslighting ex. My anxiety took care of the TERRIBLE THINGS part.

Toolbox
Toolbox
8 years ago

Abuse can come in many shapes and forms. Some of it is physical, some abusers prefer the the threat of violence to loom over their partners. Some abusers will use shouting, hurling insults to degrade their partner. Others will rely on building over time with subtle criticisms and hidden put-downs.

As it is, Pizzey usually pops up whenever there’s a new DV law to inform us how misandrist it is. Anything thing that benefits women is “going too far” and antagonising men for being men. Given that she had no problem allowing abusive men into her shelter, and even allowed them to confront their partners, I doubt people’s safety was ever her concern (she also thinks denying men entry to women’s shelters is unfair, that it is treating all men as evil….yeah). One woman, I recall, on Mumsnet I think, described how Pizzey would insult her when she came to her for help. She also spent more time on her abusive boyfriend, telling her to ‘keep her mouth shut’ when the man of the house was speaking.

Many people stay in abusive relationships, not because they’re ‘addicted’ to being hit, but because the emotional abuse and manipulation has left their (probably already damaged) self-esteem in a shattered mess. They might even have been guilt-tripped, and return feeling as if they over-reacted – I mean, he does say she always takes things the wrong way, after all! – or they worry their partner might commit suicide and return to stop it. They feel their partner is a ‘good man at heart’ and they can bring the best out of him if they just love him more. Or they may fear the retribution and return hoping his beating “won’t be so bad” because they were only gone for a little while. They may feel this relationship is as good as it gets and feel they need to rescue it. Many abusers weave their abuse through moments of love, kindness and affection; many of them will do a seemingly loving thing and later turn it on its head; buying gifts and taking them away, signing her up for a school course and then claiming she selfishly spends no time with him. etc

Many abusive relationships start with romantic bliss, pure love and affection. This changes over time and the patterns of abuse become more apparent. Many people will fight to return to this initial pleasure, accepting the abusers claims that they are the problem, and they have made him feel unloved, unneeded with their selfish ways.

DV laws could help save people before the violence begins. It could help abusers before they’ve seriously assaulted anyone. Pizzey, it seems, thinks we should just wait until the person is in serious danger of being murdered.

Auntie Alias
Auntie Alias
8 years ago

This is reminiscent of the way misogynists are dismissive about any sexual assault that isn’t rape. At the root of it is the desire for women to suffer, IMO.

mildlymagnificent
8 years ago

A friend of mine had a good saying about this. She’d left her abusive but non-violent (yet) husband when her child was just a babe in arms. She’d ended up in a therapy group with several women who’d suffered severe, repeated physical abuse. At one stage she ventured the opinion that she didn’t really belong there because she hadn’t been physically injured. What they said was No!

Then one woman said, “Our husbands hurt our bodies. Your husband tried to destroy your soul.”

kittehserf
8 years ago

::catches breath::

That is a good saying indeed.

1 4 5 6
%d bloggers like this: