Categories
alpha males antifeminism boner rage doubling down empathy deficit entitled babies evil sexy ladies evil wives marital rape men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny patriarchy playing the victim rape rape culture reactionary bullshit red pill vox day

Vox Day: "The concept of marital rape is not merely an oxymoron, it is an attack on the institution of marriage, on the concept of objective law, and indeed, on the core foundation of human civilization itself."

Anti-rape protest in India
Anti-rape protest in India

Apparently worried that the world might forget what a thoroughly reprehensible human being he is, fantasy author and freelance bigot Vox Day (Theodore Beale) has decided to bring up the issue of marital rape again – in order to assert, as he has many times in the past, that marital rape doesn’t actually exist.

In a post yesterday on his blog Vox Populi, Beale notes with obvious pleasure that an Indian judge recently ruled that marital sex, “even if forcible, is not rape,” thus upholding a section of the Indian Penal Code that refuses to acknowledge marital rape as rape.

Beale crows:

Some of my dimmer critics have attempted to make a meal out of my factual statement: a man cannot rape his wife. But that is not only a fact, it is the explicit law in the greater part of the world, just as it is part of the English Common Law. …

The fact that some of the lawless governments in the decadent, demographically dying West presently call some forms of sex between a husband and wife “rape” does not transform marital sex into rape any more than a law that declared all vaginal intercourse to be rape would make it so.

Unfortunately for Beale, simply declaring that the world is on his side on this one does not make it so. It not simply a handful of “ lawless governments in the decadent, demographically dying West” that see marital rape for what it is. The United Nations has recognized marital rape as a human rights violation for more than two decades. And the world is coming around to this point of view.

While (as of 2011) only 52 countries had laws specifically criminalizing marital rape, many others don’t have a “marital rape” exemption to their rape laws, meaning that in more than 100 countries marital rape can be prosecuted. And that number will inevitably grow.

Here’s a map from Wikipedia showing the countries (in red) in which marital rape is illegal. The countries in black allow marital rape. In the other countries, it’s a bit more complicated. (See here for the details.)

From Wikipedia.
From Wikipedia.

But for now, at least, Beale is happy for another chance to explain the toxic “logic” behind his assertion that “marital rape” is impossible.

Anyone with a basic grasp of logic who thinks about the subject of “marital rape” for more than ten seconds will quickly realize that marriage grants consent on an ongoing basis. This has to be the case, otherwise every time one partner wakes the other up in an intimate manner or has sex with an inebriated spouse, rape has been committed.

Now, by Beale’s logic, a husband is entitled to force his wife to have sex over her screaming objections. Since “consent is ongoing,” in Beale’s version of marriage, a woman could say no or even fight back against her husband’s advances, but none of this would count as non-consent because once a woman is married there is no such thing.

But of course Beale doesn’t want to have to defend what is obviously – at least to anyone with any humanity – violent rape. So he tries instead to restrict the debate to the seemingly innocuous practice of “wake-up sex.” After all, what guy doesn’t want to be woken up with a blow job?

But even this example isn’t as persuasive as he thinks it is. Some people like to be woken up in an “intimate manner,” at least some of the time; some don’t, and you don’t get to override their desire not to be sexually manhandled in their sleep just because you’re married to them. And while drunk sex is not necessarily rape, marriage doesn’t give you the right to force sex on a partner who is intoxicated to the point of incapacity.

And for those who wish to argue that consent can be withdrawn, there is a word for withdrawing consent in a marriage. That word is “divorce”.

No, that word is “no.” There is no such thing as ongoing consent to sex. The fact that you are married to someone doesn’t give you the right to have sex with them whenever and wherever you want, whether they want to or not, any more than the fact that someone is a professional boxer gives you the right to punch them in the head any time you feel like it.

The concept of marital rape is not merely an oxymoron, it is an attack on the institution of marriage, on the concept of objective law, and indeed, on the core foundation of human civilization itself.

No, Mr. Beale, you having the right to do whatever you want to with your dick is not the basis of civilization itself. Civilization, in fact, is built in part on the repression of some of our darkest desires. Part of growing up is reconciling ourselves to the sad fact that we can’t just do whatever the hell we want to all the time; Freud described this as putting behind the “pleasure principle” of infancy and early childhood for the “reality principle” that governs the more mature mind.

Beale seems to be driven not only by a desire for instant sexual gratification, whenever and wherever he wants, but also by a certain degree of sexual insecurity. In a previous post on the subject, he wrote:

If a woman believes in the concept of marital rape, absolutely do not marry her! It would make no sense whatsoever to marry a woman who believes that being married to her grants her husband no more sexual privilege than the next unemployed musician who happens to catch her eye.

Beale seems to think that if married women are allowed to say no to their husbands, they’ll desert these poor beta schlubs en masse in favor of scruffy alphas with guitars. At the root of all his arguments against the idea of marital rape is an obvious terror of unrestricted female choice.

In a way Beale’s petulant, self-serving defenses of marital rape serve a positive function, in that they help to remind us how abhorrent the practice is and how nonsensical the “arguments” in favor of allowing it really are.

Every time he opens his mouth on the subject, he helps to strengthen the growing consensus against marital rape.

526 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Hyena Girl
8 years ago

So evidently “the lawless governments in the decadent, demographically dying West” is most of the planet. Interesting.

dnotice
8 years ago

He’s wrong to claim that marital rape is “part of the English Common Law”. Our Courts scrapped it in the 1991 case of R v R http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marital_rape#Ending_the_exemption

Hyena Girl
8 years ago

Translated from the original for sanity:
If a person does not believe in the concept of marital rape, absolutely do not marry them! It would make no sense whatsoever to marry a person who believes that being married to them grants their partner voids their partner’s right to withdraw consent.

A nonny mouse.
A nonny mouse.
8 years ago

Interesting that he doesn’t consider that the husband wouldn’t want to have sex with the wife. My ex-husband refused sex, and came up with all kinds of reasons to avoid it. Of course, the real reason ended up being “because I’m having sex with my mistress”. I respected his wishes but it was very frustrating. If your SO turns you down occasionally suck it up and respect their wishes. If your SO refuses over an extended period of time, still respect their wishes, but see what is causing the problem. But I guess that means you have to consider other humans as people?

Hyena Girl
8 years ago

Shorter Vox Day: “Isn’t it cute how women think they’re people?”

grumpycatisagirl
8 years ago

If a woman believes in the concept of marital rape, absolutely do not marry her!

Yes, men who don’t think “martial rape” is a thing, absolutely do not marry me. Or any other person. Good.

grumpycatisagirl
8 years ago

Ninja’ed and blockquote monster fed. All in a day’s comment.

Zolnier
Zolnier
8 years ago

I popped over to Vox’s Wikipedia page to look at his bibliography. First thing I found was something called Altar of Hate. Fitting, bet I can guess the contents as well.

vaiyt
8 years ago

“Now, by Beale’s logic, a husband is entitled to force his wife to have sex over her screaming objections. Since “consent is ongoing,” in Beale’s version of marriage, a woman could say no or even fight back against her husband’s advances, but none of this would count as non-consent because once a woman is married there is no such thing.”

Reverse the genders and let’s see how much Beale approves of it.

sparky
sparky
8 years ago

Vox Day needs a black cape, top hat, and long mustache that he can twirl while cackling evilly, because he’s really starting to sound like a villian from an old melodrama with this shit.

It’s like, when he sits down to write one of these things, he thinks about something that is obviously right and ethically sound, like marital rape being illegal, and then takes the exact opposite position.

He really is a slimy asshole.

Wetherby
Wetherby
8 years ago

Some people like to be woken up in an “intimate manner,” at least some of the time; some don’t, and you don’t get to override their desire not to be sexually manhandled in their sleep just because you’re married to them.

Indeed not. Most of the time, I am indeed quite happy to be intimately manhandled in my sleep by my wife, but sometimes I’m simply not in the mood. And so I say “no”, and she stops. And the same is obviously true vice versa.

I suspect were either of us to ignore the issue of consent, one of us would be taking up long-term residence in the spare bedroom at the very least.

vaiyt
8 years ago

the lawless governments in the decadent, demographically dying West

As opposed to the efficient governments of the thriving utopias in Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan, Syria, Sudan, Burma…

Emcube
Emcube
8 years ago

I am from India and the last thing this country needs is more bigots like Vox Day (this is bad enough: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Save_Indian_Family_Foundation )

This reminds me of when Paul Elam once talked about how oppressed the men in India are. It’s amazing how utterly and thoroughly delusional (and despicable) these guys are.

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
8 years ago

I love it when traditionalists like Vox defend things like rape and abuse as just part of the marriage contract, then turn around and whine about the declining marriage rate. If marriage did indeed mean a lifetime of abuse and degradation, it shouldn’t be surprising that women would want no part of it.

Howard Bannister
8 years ago

Anyone with a basic grasp of logic who thinks about the subject of “marital rape” for more than ten seconds will quickly realize that marriage grants consent on an ongoing basis.

Basic grasp of logic, huh? Well, I went to college, I did all those a and b exercises.

Marriage grants consent on an ongoing basis.

Um, no. Marriage doesn’t even grant consent to live in the same house with them on an ongoing basis. (see: separation, etc.)

Wow. Yeah. Basic grasp of logic. Really nailing it there, Teddy.

(basic grasp of logic = dog whistle for ‘women are hysterical and illogical, let me mansplain it to you’, right?)

Rea
Rea
8 years ago

If we are discussing Vox and rape, here is a quote someone left in the we hunted the mammoth comment section a week or two ago

If the definition of rape is stretched so far to include women who have not given consent, then I am absolutely a serial rapist. So, too, is every man I know. – Vox Day

Here is where that quote is from: http://voxday.blogspot.com/2005/12/mailvox-hidden-contempt-for-women.html

It ties in nicely with our topic.

How many of the PUAthetic MRAcist sexist people discussed here actually went as far as admitting they sleep with women/ a woman who have not given consent? If not many, then Vox is worse than most.

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
8 years ago

If the definition of rape is stretched so far to include women who have not given consent…

I’ve seen this quote before and it never fails to flabber my ghast. “Stretched so far” as to meet what’s basically the mainstream definition of rape? What the fuck does he think rape is, if not precisely that?

Howard Bannister
8 years ago

What he would insist means to say, of course, is ‘women who have not spoken aloud their consent in a very specific phrase like “I am giving you consent to have sex with me now.”‘

But he’s left a really wide rhetorical hole there, hasn’t he, conflating cases where consent was obviously there but not spoken with women not consenting?

I wonder why.

Ally S
8 years ago

@Emcube

Wow, look at that: a major men’s rights organization opposing the criminalization of marital rape. And yet MRAs claim that only the “extremists” are in favor of rape. Thanks for sharing.

Oh, and here’s your welcome package.

Howard Bannister
8 years ago

(I mean, he’ s a professional writer, a man who gets paid to smith words, and I’m supposed to believe he’s just accidentally leaving it up in the air and ambiguous whether the woman was actually consenting and didn’t say the words or was just plain not consenting BY ACCIDENT? Mmmmnope.)

amandajane5
amandajane5
8 years ago

Gee, so when my ex-husband was holding me by the throat and forcing his penis into me it wasn’t at all rape because we’d had a big fancy party a couple of years earlier? I feel so much better now…

Ally S
8 years ago

Anyone with a basic grasp of logic who thinks about the subject of “marital rape” for more than ten seconds will quickly realize that marriage grants consent on an ongoing basis.

Let’s assume that he’s right that marriage grants implied consent automatically (even though this is demonstrably false). Even if that’s the case, that only means that marriage would be an institution of rape that feminists/womanists should abolish. But we all know what Vox wants: The license to rape his wife.

Rea
Rea
8 years ago

No, Mr. Beale, you having the right to do whatever you want to with your dick is not the basis of civilization itself. Civilization, in fact, is built in part on the repression of some of our darkest desires. Part of growing up is reconciling ourselves to the sad fact that we can’t just do whatever the hell we want to all the time – David Futrelle

A quote like that reminds me that there is still some maturity and wisdom left in humanity, and in the male half in particular. The MRAssholes are the exceptions, I can look at other men and see these guys are not what most males are really like.

Chie Satonaka
Chie Satonaka
8 years ago

If a man does not “believe” in the concept of marital rape, DO NOT MARRY HIM.

He is likely an abuser and a rapist.

1 2 3 22
%d bloggers like this: