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Videos to get you PUMPED. Also, a creepshaming manifesto from the Men’s Rights subreddit.

Today I feel an irresistible urge to post music videos. Above, an awesome interpretation of a rock classic that is sure to get you PUMPED for the weekend.

Below, enjoy the silky voice of Phil Collins.

And here’s Jim Morrison apparently doing his impersonation of the most insufferable man in the universe.

Ok, ok. Here’s that creepshaming manifesto I promised. Or portions of it, anyway. (Like a lot of things written by MRAs, the whole thing is a lot longer than it needs to be.)

The term ‘Creep’ is used every single day to describe people who have done something creepy. A ‘Creep’ is, according to a dictionary, a detestable person, but not according to society today. Today ‘Creep’ is an everyday word that is plastered all over men’s foreheads whenever they do something women don’t like, there is a thousand ways for me to be creepy as a male that I don’t even recognize until it’s too late, or until someone else decides I’m a ‘Creep’. Here is society’s definition of a ‘Creep’:

A man who shows more attention, platonic, romantic or sexual, to a person then they so desire at that time.

[blah blah blah]

I have a little anecdote here for you all. I had a friend with benefits, a girl I was sleeping with every week or two with no romantic strings attached and it was awesome. I found myself loving this woman, not romantically but as a friend I couldn’t have asked for better. Fast forward a few weeks [blah blah blah]  The fact that I wasn’t aware of the boyfriend, that the message I sent wasn’t sexual at all and that I was a close personal friend of [oh just fucking shut up]

‘Creep’ is a term that gets abused all over this society; it gets pasted on a man’s forehead by women and scars them with a disfiguring social mark against their name to everyone who is around to hear them say it. Men, you are not a ‘Creep’ for showing a woman attention, you are not a ‘Creep’ for loving kids, or for showing interest in child things. You are a functioning human being. Any women who labels you a ‘Creep’ has problems, they don’t know how to deal with other peoples desires, they don’t respect men’s desires, they don’t realize that men have needs and have wants that don’t line up with their own. Any women who labels a man a ‘Creep’ without a dammed good reason cares only about her own desires, she believes only she can have flexible wants and differing needs and she can’t understand that you are just as human as they are, and that’s a little bit creepy in my honest opinion.

-J.C

Woah. J.C.? The J.C.?

Sorry, Jesus, I didn’t know it was you.

Honestly, I don’t remember you being this whiny the first time around. But whatev. Good to see you.

Naturally, the fellas in the Men’s Rights subreddit think JC’s Creep-i-festo is pretty creeptastic. One of them even left this rather alarming comment:

Youareabadperson5 0 points 1 hour ago (4|4)  Creep is offensive to me. It's more offensive than a gender slur, its more offensive than a racial slur, its more offensive than a slap to the face. By using that word its as if someone is claiming you are trying to harm them sexually just because you are interacting with them. Its as if they are insuating that some one is a sex offender because they opened a conversation, or they said hi. It makes me blindingly, hatefully, ragefully angry.Yikes. I would go so far as to say that this comment is a bit creepy,

The “opened a conversation” bit is revealing, too. Hello, wannabe PUA!

(The folks in AgainstMensRights are making fun of the Creep-i-festo and making Jesus jokes too.)

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hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Thanks, I’m ok, it’s just painful. I have my ice pack, cats, and painkillers. Aaaaaaand a very ugly walking boot that I have to wear for a couple weeks. I’m just going to pretend it’s Prada and that’s why it’s fug.

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

Oh no toes D:

freemage
8 years ago

Hellkell: Guh, all the sympathies. Hope recovery goes well.

babsbeaty (@babsbeaty)

@Tulgey Logger

d’oh

There goes my delicious sense of moral superiority.

Curse you, facts!.

princessbonbon
8 years ago

3) So if you just want to have sex, no strings attached, why do you care if she has a boyfriend? Doesn’t that guarantee no strings?

No strings for him, she is supposed to be sitting by the phone breathlessly waiting for his every contact. Not out getting a boyfriend.

Chaos Engineer
Chaos Engineer
8 years ago

I’m a guy and don’t have experience at being the target of creepy behavior. So if you asked me to visualize a creep, the first image that would pop into my head would be somebody wearing a trenchcoat and lurking in the bushes outside the local elementary school.

With that in mind, if you asked me to give an example of something a creep might say to justify himself, I don’t think I could do better than this:

Any women who labels you a ‘Creep’ has problems, they don’t know how to deal with other peoples desires, they don’t respect men’s desires, they don’t realize that men have needs and have wants that don’t line up with their own.

Historophilia
Historophilia
8 years ago

And if you flip that round it comes out as a pretty good description of a creep:

Any man who complains about the word “Creep” has problems, they don’t know how to deal with others peoples humanity, they don’t respect women’s agency, they don’t realise that women have needs and wants that don’t line up with their own.

Chaos Engineer
Chaos Engineer
8 years ago

Gah! I posted the thing about the guy in the trenchcoat before I clicked through to the original story, and found this:

The only time he isn’t a ‘Creep’ when showing attention to a child is when, based on the opinion of those around him, his interest in the child is a nurturing or father-to-child interest. Couple that with the social ideal that all men are motivated by their sexual desire and the nurturing, caring men who are paying attention to a child are suddenly assumed to be motivated by sexual desire towards the child. This is BULLSHIT, men aren’t motivated solely by sexual desire, and someone who finds a mutual friendship with a child isn’t a ‘Creep’, he is just a guy who shares common interests with the child. I’ve seen countless men shy away from children because society considers men who show attention to children as ‘Creep’s.

I’m trying to imagine what it might be like to form a mutual friendship with a child based on common interests. Maybe if you were both endlessly fascinated by knock-knock jokes? Even then I’d rather socialize with like-minded adults; we could go to knock-knock joke night at the local bar and have some beers and stay out as late as we wanted.

Brooked
Brooked
8 years ago

I read the original post thinking that would help figure out what the hell JC is talking about and realized: (a) the whole post simply doesn’t make a lot of sense and (b) Good Lord, David did his readers a great service editing this crap down to limit the pain.

The OP’s “little anecdote” rambles on forever and while it may have been a mean text message from a longtime friend, I don’t see how it’s an example of how “creep gets pasted on a man’s forehead by women and scars them with a disfiguring social mark against their name to everyone who is around to hear them say it” when it’s a text message only TWO people know about.

David also didn’t include his opening paragraph about men being oppressed by threat of ‘creep marking’ when it comes to children. Kids are fun to be around and I know many men who enjoy interacting with other people’s children while the child’s parents or other people are around. JC seems to not get how this works and the last sentence of this excerpt is very, very creepy and unnerving and disturbing and a red flag and just plain wrong.

Therefore any man who shows a child attention or a desire to be close to a child who isn’t his own he could very well be a ‘Creep’. The only time he isn’t a ‘Creep’ when showing attention to a child is when, based on the opinion of those around him, his interest in the child is a nurturing or father-to-child interest. Couple that with the social ideal that all men are motivated by their sexual desire and the nurturing, caring men who are paying attention to a child are suddenly assumed to be motivated by sexual desire towards the child. This is BULLSHIT, men aren’t motivated solely by sexual desire, and someone who finds a mutual friendship with a child isn’t a ‘Creep’, he is just a guy who shares common interests with the child.

Brooked
Brooked
8 years ago

Ninja’d by Chaos Engineer. I should have refreshed before posting that. Sorry Folks!

Robert
Robert
8 years ago

They don’t respect men’s desires? Oh the huge manatee!

I do remember back in university, working at the library, and (in the course of work) seeing the address and telephone number of a guy I was attracted to. I decided not to contact him, because I thought it would be creepy. The next time I saw him, I expressed an interest, and was politely rejected. Amazingly, I survived intact.

Karalora
Karalora
8 years ago

Sorry to hear about your toes, hellkell. The worst pain I have suffered so far in my life was breaking my little toe when I was 16. It was a pretty thorough break too – all the way across the bone in two places. But as others have said, toes heal fast. The doc taped it to the adjacent two toes and had me wear the special shoe, and two weeks later I stopped wearing it and removed the tape on my own initiative and it was fine.

kittehserf
8 years ago

hellkell – so sorry about your toes, ouch!

There’s one TSA officer dead in the LAX shootings. The murderer’s in custody.

Joseph M. Ama
Joseph M. Ama
8 years ago

I’m going to play devil’s advocate here, if I may.

I admit to a lack of self-awareness, I have autism (No one say aspberger’s, I don’t have some internet disease that gives you a special talent. I’m just awkward and have communication problems, but not bad enough to prevent me from living independently.)

And I get the word “creep” and “creepy” thrown at me all the time. It used to make me angry because no one would tell me what I was doing to make people think that (I have since learned that no one is obligated to justify their feelings about me, but that doesn’t really help me at all). I don’t stare at women, I don’t approach them unless I have a reason (like, if I’m lost and need directions or am conducting business with them in a retail establishment), I don’t talk about myself. And I get told that I’m “creepy” all the time.

I’ve been to many therapists, but they either want to pump me full of drugs or they try to trick me into saying that things aren’t bad (Remember the episode of South Park where Jimmy wrote the funniest joke ever written? Yeah, kind of like that). Not one has told me how to act like a human being in ways I can understand. On a tangent, I always wondered if that’s why so many autistic men seem to flock to “The Game” or other PUA tripe, because sometimes it seems like they’re the ONLY people actually trying to reach guys like me. Granted, they’re evil and teach people to act like douches, but no one else seems to even want to acknowledge us.

sparky
sparky
8 years ago

Creeps and broken bones. 🙁

My four-legged babies offer their sympathies and cuteness.


http://imgur.com/sIwpoaR

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Such cute babies!

I was out on the front porch earlier, and my neighbor’s ridiculously cute chihuahua got loose. he came right over to me, let me pick him up for snuggles and to take him back to his people. He’s just the sweetest little dog.

cloudiah
8 years ago

@Joseph, I’m sorry that people can be such jerks. It sucks.

Personally I reserve “creep” for people who just refuse to accept other peoples’ decisions and boundaries (especially when they’re also misogynists). Which doesn’t sound like it describes you.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

This is completely off topic, but I may’ve just stumbled on manboobz magic. A comment editor that can be set to only allow editing for a limited time, and not allow it at all if there are replies. I think we need to petition David to allow typo correction 🙂

http://wordpress.org/plugins/wp-ajax-edit-comments/

(Yeah, totally off topic, but come on, a way to fix typos that doesn’t open the door for troll gaslighting? I had to mention it)

sparky
sparky
8 years ago

hellkell: Skeee! I heart chihuahuas. Seriously, though, broken bones suck (talking from experience – I stupidly broke my ankle a couple years ago and ack! The pain!) so I hope you heal soon.

Joseph M. Ama: That sucks :(. I second cloudiah; it doesn’t sound like “creep” describes you at all, and I’m sorry people called you that.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

“Oh the huge manatee!”

There’s another kind?

Joseph — people suck. That is directed at the people who call you a creep simply because you aren’t good with social cues (and at anyone who tries that on my cousin’s autistic son, I have a cranky now). People sucking aside, that probably is their “issue” — some sort of mannerism or such that they find off-putting gets labelled creepy when really, like cloudiah said, not respecting boundaries and people’s decisions should really be required to be called creepy (I am also not doing too good at this social interaction thing today huh?)

And I feel you on psychs just wanting to pump you full of drugs, mine is going to get a piece of my mind next time I’m there (the reasons are numerous, but if you’re curious, pop over to the Costume thread)

I’m gonna shut up before I say something dumb and go back to PHP, coding languages and their clear rules FTW

Falconer
Falconer
8 years ago

Hellkell, I’m sorry about your toes. That sounds painful!

And yet at the same time I think it’s awesome that you referred to them as “roast beef” and “none.” Priorities, people!!

Crud, I haven’t posted babbies in at least a week. I am letting the side down!

katz
8 years ago

Argenti: You can’t use WordPress.org plugins on WordPress.com, can you? (I ask because I’ve tried and failed to find a way to do it before.)

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

*spits on .com* Well shit. I guess we’d have to petition wordpress first >.<

Fail.

In any case, I'm giving it a test on my sandbox .org, kinda starting putzing with it in case we do end up doing Man Boobz: The Magazining, but really, I'm kinda enjoying writing code again.

Brooked
Brooked
8 years ago

@Joseph

You can tell a therapist what your goals are and the both of you can create a treatment plan. Tell the therapist you want to work on your social skills, improve your ability to read other people’s behavior and understand how to socially interact in a variety of situations. If the therapist isn’t willing to do that, go to different therapist.
You aren’t in a psych ward, you are going to a therapist who’s getting paid to give you the therapy you want. It can be hard to find the right therapist but it’s worth the effort. There are therapists who specifically work with adults who have Asbergers and high functioning autistic adults.
I realize you don’t like the term Asbergers, but it’s recognized as a condition in the Autism Spectrum outside of the internet.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Brooked — respectfully, he may not have that option. I am, at present, stuck with my shitty psych because of shitty state insurance. It’s great if you can pick and choose to find an awesome therapist, or get lucky and end up with one anyways, but at least in the US, shitty insurance sometimes means you’re stuck.

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