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Big Manosphere Reveal: Matt Forney was Ferdinand Bardamu

Matt Forney's a dick, so here are some goats in a tree.
Matt Forney’s a dick, so here are some goats in a tree.

Longtime readers of Man Boobz may remember “Ferdinand Bardamu,” the pseudonymous blogger behind the thoroughly despicable In Mala Fide blog. How despicable? Well, once upon a time, “Bardamu” wrote a post with the lovely title “The Necessity of Domestic Violence,” in which he set forth the proposition that “[w]omen should be terrorized by their men; it’s the only thing that makes them behave better than chimps.” Yeah. It was that kind of a blog. You can find some more of Bardamu’s terrible thoughts in the MB archives.

You may also remember that Bardamu took down his blog about a year ago, and seemingly vanished from the face of the earth.

Except it now turns out he hasn’t been gone at all. Indeed, he’s been hiding in plain sight the whole time. For, just about the same time that Bardamu vanished off the face of the earth, a new and almost-if-not-quite-as-thoroughly-despicable new Manospere blogger appeared, writing under his real name: Matt Forney.

He’s perhaps best known for a post in which he “jokingly” offered advice on how to get away with rape by murdering your victim. Ha ha! What a card! (Ultimately, Forney deleted his post, and offered a half-hearted, feminist-baiting “apology” for it.)

Forney came out as the Artist Formerly Known As Ferdinand Bardamu on his blog last week.

His explanation for his vanishing act? In part, he explained, it was because he had started getting disgusted by some of his own followers.  “Surround yourself with the worst humanity has to offer and it will inevitably wear on you,” he wrote.

 It got to the point where I dreaded reading my own site because it was becoming dominated by basement dwelling neo-Nazis, MRA permavirgins and other losers I would never bother with in real life.

As much as I hate people who bitch about “hatred” and “negativity,” they were right in the end: I didn’t want to be associated with those freaks.

Yep, the rank and file of the right-wing Manosphere actually disgusts the guy who came up with “[w]omen should be terrorized by their men; it’s the only thing that makes them behave better than chimps.” Yikes.

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serrana
serrana
9 years ago

Aaliyah, you’re not responsible for your father’s feelings, but I know you know that.

Also, I’ll bet there are lots of people who you can move in with who are pretending to be more devout to their parents than they are, who might be acceptable to your dad and you both, but for different reasons. Your specific problem might not be common, but your general one (controlling parents and culture clash) is more common than you think! I went through it, although the details were quite different.

Argenti Aertheri
9 years ago

Aaliyah — this may be the time to start lying through your teeth. Cassandra’s got a point (and is right btw, being able to wake up 15 min before class and still get there on time was a godsend) but also, you can’t find an apt that’s just Muslim men // you found a cheaper/closer place // they all like Monopoly as much as you do and don’t party much (insert whatever hobby/fandom/thing that might work — this is the desperate lie).

I know that wall of “but lying is wrong” is a glaring “should I really do this?” wall, but dealing with asshole parents? Yes, yes you should; truth is based on the predicate of mutual trust, which is clearly lacking here. And really, there comes a point where you lie about the little things (the apt is cheaper than any all Muslim ones you could find) to not have to lie about the big things (being forced to live as a Muslim male). Maybe I’m just justifying my own habit of lying to my parents though.

In any case, I’ll vouch for pecunium, y’all get like a third of the late night depressive rants that he listens to! (More useful than my psych he is!)

katz
9 years ago

Aaliyah, I’m sorry your dad is being such an asshole 🙁

I wonder if there’s someone at UCSC who could help. They’re plugging on-campus living pretty hard; maybe if you explained the situation it might be possible to get the dean of students or whoever to write your dad a nice but firm letter explaining why it is very very important that you live on campus.

pecunium
9 years ago

Aaliyah: If you wanted a good job (in terms of money), I have people in the Mountain View Area who could teach you unix sysadmin.

Other than that, I don’t have a whole lot of advice (from here, being in the NYC area now), other than to say trusting your instincts as regards your father.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

I second the suggestion of talking to the school administration and trying to get them to back you up or find our if they can create a work-around for you. Your situation is in some ways quite a common one, and given that this is the UC system a. they probably have some experience working around conservative parents who’re attempting to control their more liberal kids and b. they’re going to be on your side and want to help. I’m actually really glad in a sense that it’s UCSC that you’re heading to, because the people there are going to be very much on your side ideologically.

pecunium
9 years ago

cloudiah, in re books:

The Beak of the Finch (about Galapagos). The Language Wars. The Napoleon of Crime. Mycophilia. Assembling California. To Control Nature.

Those are all good, and I can recommend them wholeheartedly.

Kittehserf
9 years ago

I wasn’t mentioning genetics as in you thinking about them, but in the sense that the accident of genetics is what made you father and daughter. It doesn’t create an obligation from you to him, imo; he had the obligation to care for you and the rest of your family, and he blew it completely with his abuse.

It’s the “he’s still my father” thought I can’t really help with, because I don’t look on blood relatives that way, and it’s something one can only work through in one’s own way. I confess I cannot imagine feeling what you are, feeling pain and loss at the thought of being estranged from someone like him. Fearful of him, yes, despairing of escaping, but not anything remotely like love or affection or even a child’s dutifulness. I come from a place of despising my father and having cut of contact with him decades ago, and he was nowhere near as bad as yours, at least not to the family. I wish I could help you, Aaliyah, beyond internet hugs.

Kittehserf
9 years ago

“cut OFF contact”

Oy.

serrana
serrana
9 years ago

Aaliyah — this may be the time to start lying through your teeth.

Exactly. You need to live at place because the other tenants all in awesomeITorganization.org and you need to make contacts. You need to live place because 8 o’clock class and 6 pm class or I’ll never graduate. You need to live at place because future intern job. You get the idea.

I never wanted to lie to my parents, but I did. I claim self-defense.

Kittehserf
9 years ago

cloudiah, re science reading for your friend: what about good science magazines? They’re automatically in bite-size chunks.

Aaliyah
9 years ago

Aaliyah: If you wanted a good job (in terms of money), I have people in the Mountain View Area who could teach you unix sysadmin.

Thank you, that would be such a big help. All I have in my favor is a working knowledge of languages like JavaScript and libraries like jQuery. If I could do what you’re suggesting that would really help me. Do you want me to contact you via Dreamwidth?

Shiraz
Shiraz
9 years ago

Oh, pretty little lies…how they save one from the parental units’ hangups.

Argenti Aertheri
9 years ago

Will your student ID get you bus fare? If not that shit adds up fast! Play the money angle, and the excel at your studies angle.

And idk if he’d be worried about it, but the “what if I get out of class at 9pm? Take the bus at that hour?” angle. At least at Pitt 6-9 pm classes were totally a thing. (Dear gods did I hate having 9-9 days and then hours of studying, insomnia ftw)

General college things: the closer you are to campus, the easier it is in general — not wasting precious time commuting (because yes, when you’re doing 15+ credits and working, every hour counts, learn to eat while reading if you can’t yet) — not having to carry all your books all day (those fuckers are heavy!) — being able to squeeze in work hours between classes when you can run home and change for work (this works particularly well if work isn’t formal but a uniform). And the food situation, being on campus all day means eating absolute shit, either fast food or cafe food…actually, play the religion angle, if he keeps halal you can use it to your advantage to say that you actually need a kitchen you can make yourself lunch in.

And if you do intent to party, do it before classes start and on breaks, you won’t get much time otherwise (like, scheduling an acid trip around spring break…been there, done that…twice)

Shiraz
Shiraz
9 years ago

“And if you do intent to party, do it before classes start and on breaks, you won’t get much time otherwise (like, scheduling an acid trip around spring break…been there, done that…twice).”

Hahahaha. Argenti. You are wise.

Argenti Aertheri
9 years ago

And I see that katz posted a UCSC list of reasons to lie on campus while I was typing mine!

Oh and learn php, HTML and CSS. W3C has good guides on all of them and if you can figure out fucking JS, you can handle them. They’re basically the standard web designer “package” so to speak. Unix sysadmin definitely pays more though!

Aaliyah
9 years ago

Will your student ID get you bus fare? If not that shit adds up fast! Play the money angle, and the excel at your studies angle.

And idk if he’d be worried about it, but the “what if I get out of class at 9pm? Take the bus at that hour?” angle. At least at Pitt 6-9 pm classes were totally a thing. (Dear gods did I hate having 9-9 days and then hours of studying, insomnia ftw)

General college things: the closer you are to campus, the easier it is in general — not wasting precious time commuting (because yes, when you’re doing 15+ credits and working, every hour counts, learn to eat while reading if you can’t yet) — not having to carry all your books all day (those fuckers are heavy!) — being able to squeeze in work hours between classes when you can run home and change for work (this works particularly well if work isn’t formal but a uniform). And the food situation, being on campus all day means eating absolute shit, either fast food or cafe food…actually, play the religion angle, if he keeps halal you can use it to your advantage to say that you actually need a kitchen you can make yourself lunch in.

Argenti, thank you for all of these suggestions. I’m afraid they won’t work with him, though. I told him about the waste of time. He just said that an hour-long bus ride is nothing. I told him about how it would be so much easier if I stayed close to campus. He told me that if I’m so concerned about the length of the bus ride and the ease of living close to campus, I should just go to another state college close to where I currently live.

I tried. But he won’t budge. I’m not sure what else I can do, but I’m still thinking.

cloudiah
9 years ago

Are there really good science magazines? Not a sarcastic question, I just know there are some bad ones.

pecunium, I love John McPhee, and have some to lend her. Beak of the Finch is probably more in line with her interests, and I have that somewhere here too. Before she got sick, I once lent her Steven Johnson’s Ghost Map and she loved it.

katz
9 years ago

And study groups! They’re always from, like, 10 PM to midnight. My quantum study group started at midnight and, let me tell you, that was the only way I passed that class.

BTW, if you ever get tired of everyone throwing ideas at you, please say so; I definitely know people who immediately get into Solve Mode whenever you have a problem and they totally get on my nerves so if you ever just want people to listen, I will understand.

cloudiah
9 years ago

Keep thinking Aaliyah, and we will too. There is an answer, and things will work out.

serrana
serrana
9 years ago

There is an answer

Quoted for truth.

Aaliyah
9 years ago

And study groups! They’re always from, like, 10 PM to midnight. My quantum study group started at midnight and, let me tell you, that was the only way I passed that class.

I’m almost 19 and he sill hates the idea of me being out late at night without family members. Thank you for the suggestion but it won’t fly with him.

katz
9 years ago

Are there really good science magazines? Not a sarcastic question, I just know there are some bad ones.

Scientific American and Discover are both good (SciAm is written at a slightly higher level). Popular Science is fluffy but sometimes entertaining. Stay away from New Scientist at all costs.

pecunium
9 years ago

Aaliyah: Drop me a line via DW, and I’ll reach out to people. We shall see what we can arrange.

Kittehserf
9 years ago

cloudiah, it’s a good question, one to which I don’t have an answer, alas. I was going on the premise that there’d be a bigger choice in the US, at any rate.

Apropos of nothing, kitties.

Kittehserf
9 years ago

Glad to hear Scientific American’s a good one, katz – Mum buys it sometimes. (Yes, it’s on sale here in an outer ‘burbs newsagent.)

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