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The Slut Who Got Ugly and Sad: The Manosphere’s favorite fairy tale

Manosphere dudes want every story to end like this.
Manosphere dudes want every story to end like this.

Gather ‘round the fire for yet another retelling of what may be the Manosphere’s favorite fairy tale. You know, the one about the evil ladies who have lots of sex with “bad boys” in their early twenties, only to panic a few years later and desperately try to attach themselves to hardworking beta schlubs once they realize that their looks are fading. You know, like that lady riding the rooster that alternates with the mammoth in the Man Boobz header graphic.

This particular version of the tale – posted to the perversely misnamed “Happy Bachelors” forum by a long-time MGTOWer called Outcast Superstar – somehow manages to avoid the phrase “cock carousel” entirely. But regular readers  will find the story familiar nonetheless.

Here, without further ado, is “Suckers Vs. Fuckers,” by Mr. Superstar.

[W]estern women love excitement and hate boredom. When they are in their teens and early 20’s, they don’t want stability that suckers have to offer because that is boring.

Gosh, who could imagine that anyone in their early twenties might be more interested in dating various people instead of settling down?

Keep in mind that women don’t think for themselves but decisions on who they date or sleep with is usually made by the council not by the woman herself. This council is usually made up of her mother, sister, and friends etc. If dating a nice guy is not considered to be fun and popular by the “council” he is going to get snubbed.

The fellows at South Park have provided us with a rare glimpse into the workings of these mysterious councils.

There is another group of guys called fuckers. Women love to have sex with these guys during their prime years. Although they offer no stability to these women, however women will still sleep with them. The reason why women will is because they are unpredictable and therefore they are deemed as very exciting.

Oh, but things change radically when these evil ladies start to … age.

Once these women get to there late 20’s – early 30’s they will fraudently sell their looks to suckers who make a good income in order to get married. In other words they will put on a pony show for them until they get the ring.

But as long as these ladies hold onto any of their youthful prettiness, they can still cause trouble.

After a few years of marriage, these women are going to get bored and everything is the suckers fault. They will look for affairs and cash out on their suckers knowing that they will get the house, child support (if they have children), and alimony. All she has to do is file a false abuse charge (no proof necessary) to make all this happen. Even as a bonus, the sucker even gets to pay for her attorney fees.

But ultimately these evil gals will get their comeuppance.

Despite there not being any legal justice in this country, Mother Nature has a justice of her own.

Those suckers who once ached for these women will lose interest in them once they get to be in their mid to late 20’s. The last thing they are going to find attractive are used up women in their late 20’s-30’s. In fact these women must be avoided at all cost. They got a disease called baby rabies. They are going to do everything possible to get pregnant and trap you into a long term relationship where they can get provided for.

Happily, western “suckers” can escape the clutches of these evil ladies. After all, western men have alternatives, in the form of foreign women and, er, model railroads?

[O]nce those “suckers” get financially stable they will get to travel to foreign countries and enjoy beautiful women. Also, while in the United States, they will have developed fun hobbies to do when they are not working. In fact these “suckers” will not have to deal with the stress of fear of divorce, a nagging whore, false abuse and rape chargers, get to keep their sanity and money, won’t have to worry about raising kid that aren’t theirs etc.

And so these so-called “suckers” can sit back and watch with pleasure as the ladies who refused to have sex with them in their younger years grow old and miserable at approximately twice the speed of the more-gracefully aging men.

[T]he women who neglected the “suckers” in favor of the “fuckers” during their prime years are going to have to face justice. It’s not legal justice but Mother Nature justice. Once they get to their late 20’s for every year a man ages, they will be aging by two years. They will wrinkle and get ugly very fast. Investing thousands of dollars in makeup in order to form a bond with a “sucker” is not going to get the job done because they failed to form a bond with a “sucker” during their prime years. Their biological clocks will be ticking and they will get very desperate. They are going to want to be talking care off, like living off a “sucker” so they won’t have to work.

To interject for a moment, I believe that when Mr. Superstar refers to women who are “going to want to be talking care off,” what he means is that these women are “going to want to be taken care of.”

I’m reminded a bit of Kevin Kline’s teleprompter troubles in the movie Soapdish.

Oh, but Outcast Superstar isn’t quite done with his story yet:

Disgusted by their behavior, the “suckers” will not want anything to do with them and will rebuke them. They are going to have to work long hours for the rest of their life because they could not find a “sucker” to take care of them. They will whine and complain that the “suckers” will not commit despite them snubbing them in favor of the “fuckers” during their prime years. They will rot all alone with no one to take care of them, many of them will not get to have children, and will be living very miserable lives until death all because they thought it was cute to let the “suckers” rot all alone while they go squander their prime years to the “fuckers” That my friends is what I call justice!

Um, that’s cool and all, but aren’t these ladies supposed to have cats?

You’re not telling the story right!

Outcast Superstar, tell us the story AGAIN. But with CATS!

NOTE: I found this lovely story after it was reposted on MarkyMark’s blog. After a fairly long period of inactivity, old MarkyMark is posting like there’s no tomorrow.

Image at the top borrowed from Comically Vintage.

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Kittehserf
9 years ago

Aaliyah – LOL love it!

cloudiah, ditto! That’s got to go into a special section of the Dictionary.

MaudeLL
9 years ago

Thanks kitteh!
He’s been with me for 12 years, I was pretty worried.

I need to meditate on a proper definition… He’s just hembling for it.

Shiraz
Shiraz
9 years ago

“Hembling sounds like a verb. It needs a definition.”

Yeah. How about this: “To not take a task seriously.” Like dicking around, except it would be “hembling around.”
Stop hembling around, dude.

Kittehserf
9 years ago

cloudiah ninjaed us! She’s nailed it.

MaudeLL
9 years ago

Aaliyah-
They say it’s because cats only work part time, stay at home or aren’t ambitious enough, but I say it doesn’t add up!

Cloudiah-
That’s perfect. He does hembles. I tried to watch his YT videos a few times but couldn’t make it through. Too much Hembling.

neuroticbeagle
9 years ago

” cats earning equal pay” is false for several reasons:

1. Cats do not and should not earn anything. They are royalty and must be given everything they demand when they demand it.

2. Nothing is equal to cats. They are greater and therefore get more/better or whatever it is.

*Light bulb goes on over my head*

Straw feminists are REAL! Straw feminists are actually CATS!

MaudeLL
9 years ago

Said like a true serf doggie beagle. Glorify.

cloudiah
9 years ago

Seriously, all, if you want to see someone who’s even worse than John the Otter, read this.

It’s still my “go to” thing to make me laugh when I’m feeling down. Feminists attacking jugglers, ballerinas as stamens of privilege.

And the weird thing is that the author was on the side of rank-and-file democracy during the MRA London purge, so in relation to JtO he is kind of one of the “not exactly good but not as bad as it’s possible to be” guys.

emilygoddess
9 years ago

@David, jonatma isn’t a first-time commenter, is he? I swear he’s been around for ages.

emilygoddess
9 years ago

Can’t imagine why…

leftwingfox
9 years ago

Ok, I lost track of this thread long ago, but…

I did not know that about Eric Nagler! Now that I’m in Ontario myself, I might have to check out that store too. 🙂

Loved Sharon, Lois and Bram as a kid; saw them live a couple of times, even. The Elephant Show came out when I was about 8 and just starting to outgrow it, but I always loved watching Eric show up.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

When someone tries to inflict the Curse of the Life With Cats I just think they’re trying to curse me into a future as Nanny Ogg. Which sounds quite nice, if I get to skip the whole childbirth thing.

LBT
LBT
9 years ago

RE: jonatma420

Were are all your bad boy “real men” now?

In my bed, naked and happy. Where did you think he was?

Dvärghundspossen
Dvärghundspossen
9 years ago

My sister got more and more cats because she was taking care of strays. Eventually she had nine cats. Then she met this wonderful man who also loved cats, and they now have a lovely house together in the countryside where they live with all their cats, and are right now trying to conceive a baby.

But listening to some people you’d think this story was completely impossible.

Kittehserf
9 years ago

In my bed, naked and happy. Where did you think he was?

Ba-doom-TISH!

Quick check of the times means it would have been true of my bloke, too, when you wrote that. 🙂

Kittehserf
9 years ago

Oh, all right, blockquote monster, if it keeps you happy …

anadiomene122
anadiomene122
9 years ago

But, but… if even the most attractive women are just going to get ugly and undesirable by age 25, or 28, or whatever the magic number is, shouldn’t these guys be glad that they didn’t marry an attractive woman when she was 20 only to be stuck with an ugly old harpy for the rest of their natural lives?

It seems irrational this obsession MRAs have with marrying 15 to 20-year-olds, and how hard it is to find a woman who is “wifey” enough to marry and who is willing to form a proper nuclear family unit with them, when all women are only going to be disgusting anyway within a matter of a few years.

Shouldn’t they be glad that young women just want to hookup instead of entering some binding contract? Theoretically, living in a world where 20-year-old hotties won’t settle down and get hitched would save them the trouble of having to divorce an ugly fat 26-year-old.

Fiona Beswick
8 years ago

Nobody says these men have to make any sense. Since all they are doing, even the most articulate, is screaming “Mummy! It isn’t FAIR!! The girls won’t do as I SAY! They won’t look the way I WANT! They want to say their own things! They want their own money! I want to tell them how much they can have! They want to wear trousers! I like dresses! They won’t make me a sandwich! I WANT A SANDWICH!! I want I want IWANT! (STAMP STAMP!)”

Caligula Rex
Caligula Rex
6 years ago

Enjoy your sexy goat!

Cartman
Cartman
5 years ago

Personally I hate cats. They always go after my pot pie.

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