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Showdown: #MenCallMeThings versus The Catalogue of Anti-Male Shaming Tactics

The most common “critique” of the #mencallmethings hashtag  that blew up on Twitter last week was that the women posting examples of misogynistic shit they got called online were making a big deal out of nothing. As the always-charming Ferdinand Bardamu so memorably put it:

It’s funny, then, that when MRAs find themselves described with less-than-flattering language they have a strange tendency to act like they’ve suddenly been struck with a case of the vapors. Witness the reaction of MRAs when someone calls them the “c-word.” No, not “cunt” – “creep.” As one outraged Men’s Rights Redditor recently put it, in a comment with 30+ net upvotes:

Creep shaming is probably one of the most insidious and anti-equality things you can do. The ability to label men as “creepy” is just one privilege that women enjoy, and a constant source of fear of ostracizing that all men must fear in our society.

When MRAs feel themselves being oppressed by such clearly man-hating language, they often refer to something called the Catalogue of Anti-Male Shaming Tactics, which, well, catalogues their language grievances in detail. According to the author of the  Catalogue,

Shaming tactics are emotional devices meant to play on a man’s insecurities and shut down debate.  They are meant to elicit sympathy for women and to demonize men who ask hard questions.  Most, if not all, shaming tactics are basically ad homimem attacks.

Such shaming tactics, the author of the Catalogue says, with no evident awareness of the irony, are often used by “histrionic …  female detractors who refuse to argue their points with logic” and the male “gynocentrists” who ally with them.

Here are some of the awful “shaming” remarks that get directed at MRAs, according to the Catalogue of Shaming Tactics:

 “Stop whining!”

 “Suck it up like a man!”

“You need to get over your anger at women.”

“You’re afraid of a strong woman!”

“You are so immature!”

“You are just bitter because you can’t get laid.”

“Are you gay?”

 “That’s a sexist stereotype!”

 “You need therapy.”

“You make me feel afraid.”



“You are so materialistic.”

 “No woman will marry you with that attitude.”

“You are insensitive to the plight of women.”

Did someone just use the word "creep?"

Is that last one even an insult? It’s a fairly accurate description of a lot of MRAs, who take a certain pride in being “insensitive to the plight of women.”

So now that we’ve seen the horrible abuse that MRAs have to put up with on a daily basis, let’s take a quick look at some of the things that women and feminists regularly get from their detractors, as posted to the #mencallmethings hashtag and sent to Sady Doyle, who originated the hashtag. (These are all taken from a great post she did in the aftermath of #mencallmethings’ big blowup.) I think you will find the comparison instructive.  Let’s start with the more straightforward slurs. (TRIGGER WARNING for, well, just about everything in the quotes that follow.)

Slut, cunt, bitch, whore, ugly, dyke, lesbo, unfuckable, crazy, delusional, liar, hysterical, autistic bitch child, feminazi,  ballbuster, humorless, heartless whore, man hater, misandrist, stupid little girl, shrieky hysterical moron, airhead, spoiled little princess, stupid bitch, stupid fucking cunt, stupid feminazi cunt, an ugly bitter little woman, cumm guzzling closet lesbian, a pseudo-intellectual Insane Oversensitive Humourless Female supremacist.

Now let’s move on to complete sentences:

 “You’re an ugly fucking cunt.”

“That sort of smirk is why God invented anal sex.”  

“you’re so ugly you look like you have downs syndrome, you’d be thankful to be raped.”

“hope you catch a sexually transmitted disease or vagina cancer, cuntwit.”

”Stick a dildo up your dry vagina.”

“the only time your mouth should be open is when i’m putting my d–k in it”

“Your just a gay cunt who deserves to be punished.”

“A firm backhand to her whore face would provide her with a much needed attitude adjustment.”  

“Fuck you bitch….ya need to get beat like ur pops use to do to u.”

“I hope you never have children, your daughters would be such sluts and end up murdered in a gutter by someone like me.”

 You’re “not worth the effort to murder.”  

“[The] only tragedy is that a bullet didn’t rip through ur brainstem after u were used 4 ur 1 & only purpose in this world.”

“what a long winded bitch. You certainly do need to be gagged.”

“You’re an annoying bitch with no friends.I’d love to run you over with my truck.”

“you stupid bitch, I should fuck the crazy right out of you.”

”i surely hope that one day you get raped.”

“[You] can’t be a female scientist, that phrase is an oxymoron,”

“it’s painfully obvious you’re a woman, get off the internet.”

“I will fuck your ass to death you filthy fucking whore. Your only worth on this planet is as a warm hole.”

“Do you need to file a hurt feelings report?”

As I noted before, despite my general unpopularity in the MRA world, I tend to get fewer of these things than, for example, most feminist bloggers with a similar degree of internet notoriety. But I get them. Here, for example, is the latest comment I’ve gotten from the guy who calls himself Nugganu, a sort of follow-up to a previous comment I quoted earlier in which he imagined me raped by ten black men:

He certainly does have a vivid imagination.

But, yeah, somehow it’s a little hard for me to feel a ton of sympathy for MRAs who so regularly work themselves into a lather over “shaming language” like “creep” and “loser” and “you are insensitive to the plight of women.”


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10 years ago


Apparently heero thinks that there is a non-hateful way to say that, and that it would be an OK thing to say under certain circumstances?
“My primary criterion for judging a potential romantic/sexual partner is breast size. The bigger the better. Beyond that I really have no preference”

Crude, immature, and unsophisticated, to be sure. But I think it’s possible to feel that way without being more sexist than the baseline. It’s probably even possible for a feminist to feel that way, though perhaps not for long.”

Huh? I was referring to the hypothetical statement that he attributed to Joanna, the one about wanting to throw men off bridges.

Hershele Ostropoler
10 years ago

Oh, I’d been skimming because heero makes my head hurt.

Carry on.

10 years ago

Have you heard of The Sultana’s Dream???

Yupperonis. We’ve discussed it here before, IIRC.

10 years ago

Katz: “And what kind of feminist has never heard of The Handmaid’s Tale?”

A young one. Who has been to hundreds of mosques, and has a Ph.D (in either anthropology, or psych; she didn’t specify).

10 years ago

>>A Marxist reading of fascism explains it as the backlash of the right after a failed revolution.

This conception is outdated. Many Marxists and anarchists now hold to a “three way fight” theory, where fascism is an alternative revolutionary creed that seeks to supplant left-wing revolution, rather than a reactionary attempt to preserve the status quo or to roll back wins that were done during a failed revolution. Fascism actually takes a proactive role and does not wait in the wings until a left-wing revolution is attempted to assert itself.

10 years ago

He’s seriously trying to necro that poor thread? I’m crying on the inside. Was that the most comments ever on one thread or was there an even longer one?

10 years ago

Oh, that one. Poor baby.

10 years ago

Blackbloc beat me to the three-way-fight!

And yeah. I feel so horrible for Toystory and everything he’s gone through, and then he goes right back to the dishonest tactics.

Hershele Ostropoler
10 years ago

I was actually just thinking about that thread, in light of the gaslighting discussion at Feministe.

10 years ago

Hmm. Y’know, one could make a case that the entire MRM is one big gaslighting operation. The “Women were never oppressed! You’ve always been pampered and protected while men went out and risked their necks to support you!” line strikes me as a classic gaslighting tactic.

10 years ago

you will never be happy because you are a miserable person and spread your misery online just to have company for your misery. worthless human garbage. glad you won’t be able to get along with a female of the human species long enough to breed and pass on your defective genes. Darwinism at work 🙂

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