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Men’s Rights Redditors: Guys who kill their exes — who can blame them?

A couple of intriguing quotes from Reddit’s Men’s Rights subreddit.

The topic at hand: A Redditor claims an ex falsely accused him of rape and caused him various other problems and basically acted like a shit. No one, of course, can possibly know if the guy is telling the truth, but the r/mr regulars all assume the alleged false accuser is guilty until proven innocent. (And maybe not even then.)

Naturally, some of the regulars use this as an opportunity to discuss how completely understandable it is when guys kill their exes.

Really, in this misandrist world, dudes murdering their exes is totally like slaves murdering their masters. Illegal, sure, but who can blame them? At least that’s how texaswildfires sees it:

 

Yep, in his mind, dudes today are totally in the exact same situation as slaves in the antebellum south — so when a guy murders his ex, the person you should feel empathy with is the murderer.

Naturally, both of these comments got upvotes, because that’s just how r/mr rolls these days.

 

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Lauralot
Lauralot
10 years ago

Yeah, I’ve given up on trying to engage with Brandon on any serious level. He’s a liar, he’s purposefully ignorant, and when he’s not trying to weasel out of having any sort of definitive opinion, he’s being an ass.

So from now on I’ll just mock his stupidity. And what a wellspring of material I’ll have.

Joanna
10 years ago

“yet most of the commenters here are like “Ya, it’s ok to kill someone because of all these possible what ifs maybe’s””

Nope, no one said it was ok. Only you. Just there now.

Brandon
Brandon
10 years ago

@Laura: Oh…did you run out of bullshit explanations as to why this woman would kill her sleeping husband?

@Hellkell: What does my opinion about videotaping have ANYTHING to do with murder? Oh, you are trying to label me as immoral! Gotcha…more personal attacks from a feminist. What next? I can’t wait to see what insult you plan on hurling at me next.

I am all giddy…come on Hellkell. Insult me again! Oh pretty pretty please with sugar on top.

KathleenB
KathleenB
10 years ago

Brandon, my comment (on the previous page) was deliberately gender neutral. No one should suffer the horror of sustained abuse. And anyone who kills their abuser should be punished: Our argument is that like in EVERY OTHER CASE, the circumstances the abused person was in should play a role in their sentence.

Lauralot
Lauralot
10 years ago

No, Brandon, I just realized there’s not much point in talking to a brick wall.

Brandon
Brandon
10 years ago

@KathleenB: When did I even mention you or what you said?

KathleenB
KathleenB
10 years ago

honestly, is that really such a diffficult concept? Or is it just that if a woman kills a man, she should just be summarily executed because someone who matters died?

juliejezebel
10 years ago

@lauralot, see? Brick wall. NUH UH!!!!!!!!! You could say something here on this site like “The sky is blue.” And he’d find a way to argue. Makes no sense.

Brandon
Brandon
10 years ago

The sky is blue…right now as I look out my window. Not a cloud in the sky actually.

Shora
10 years ago

Okay, I just want to clear something up for all of those misogynists who are willfully (I hope. No one is that stupid on accident, are they?) confused about the difference between killing an abuser out of self defense and killing a partner because they really ticked you off.

If the person who killed their spouse…
1. lived in constant fear of death or injury to themselves or loved ones (including pets)
2. had been isolated to the point where they are not financially independant enough to leave, and had no friends or family to put them and their children up indefinitely
3. believed that at any point their partner could find and kill or harm them or their loved ones
4. believed that there was no escape or reprieve from the abuse of themselves or loved ones

… It was probably self defense!

If the person who killed their spouse
1. was angry at their partner leaving them (and perhaps taking the children as well)
2. was angry at the court rulings of a divorce or custody battle (or both)
3. lost their temper because their partner wouldn’t stop arguing/nagging/pushing their buttons
4. found out that their partner had cheated on them

… It was probably a case of an abuser killing their victim!

(please note how I used gender neutral language. These things go for all genders in all types of relationships, okay?)

Glad we cleared that up

KathleenB
KathleenB
10 years ago

I am dissapoint by my lack of spelling prowess. And by my inability to use the specllcheck.

Lauralot
Lauralot
10 years ago

Well said, Shora. Those arguing against the battered spouse defense seem to have conveniently overlooked the fact that the post wasn’t about killing abusers. It was about justifying the killing of people that pissed them off.

And that’s terrible.

juliejezebel
10 years ago

I thought that was a lovely breakdown of the difference, Shora. And yes, it happens in either directions genderwise, because if there is one thing that I’ve learned is true, it’s that all humans are capable of being terrible to each other.

Brandon
Brandon
10 years ago

@Shora: Just because you used gender neutral language doesn’t mean that it applies to each gender equally. Sure in theory written down is a book somewhere…but not in the real world where other variables come into play.

KathleenB
KathleenB
10 years ago

I find this amusing because of the blatant gender-bias. She is the woman and “victim” in this hypothetical. No one knows any of the details..,yet most of the commenters here are like “Ya, it’s ok to kill someone because of all these possible what ifs maybe’s”

THIS is why I mentioned my gender neutral comment, dipshit. Because you are either really, really bad at reading for comprehension or just looking so hard for bias that you ignore things.

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

Brandon, I don’t have to try to label you immoral. Your work speaks for itself.

KathleenB
KathleenB
10 years ago

Brandon: And the sky here is filled with clouds and my hip is telling me it will rain soon. Fucking weather, how does it work?

juliejezebel
10 years ago

Shorter Brandon in nearly every post, including the one about gender neutral language, “NUH UH!”

Lauralot
Lauralot
10 years ago

Aw. c’mon, hellkell, throw him a bone. He’s clearly crushing on you. Can’t you at least pull his pigtails?

Brandon
Brandon
10 years ago

@KathleenB: Where did I mention you? I don’t see your name in that quote.

Oh…did you think I was talking about you when I said “Most of the commenters here…”

The keyword there is “Most” as in “not everybody but the majority”. So if you have an opposing view, that means you are in the minority, thus I wasn’t talking about you specifically or generally.

And you blame me for failing at reading comprehension. You might want to fix yourself before you start attacking other people.

KathleenB
KathleenB
10 years ago

And hey, weather.com says it will rain soon. I love* having an implanted barometer!

*where love = really really hate.

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

Brandon: serious question–no shit, no snark– what do you get out of being here and posting?

Lauralot
Lauralot
10 years ago

@Brandon: Yeah, I mean it’s not like “most” comprises a majority of the posters here and you didn’t specify which weren’t in that majority or anything.

thebionicmommy
thebionicmommy
10 years ago

It’s such a double standard these MRA’s have made. They believe that what the McDonald’s cashier did was self defense. A woman slapped him, so he beat her and the other customer until they were both on the ground, no longer posing a threat. Then he got a pipe so he could beat them more severely and now one of the women has permanent brain damage. He escalated the violence beyond the original slap and continued the assault well after any threat was neutralized. The MRA’s think he’s a hero.

If a woman is constantly battered and then kills her abuser, though, the MRA’s think she’s a monster. It doesn’t matter to them if the woman was in danger, if her husband promised to find her if she left so he could kill her and her children, or if he has attempted to kill her in the past. None of those factors matter to MRA’s. They also say it’s wrong for women to call the cops when they’re in danger, because anytime a woman does this, she is using “state sanctioned violence” and believe she must have done something to deserve her abuse. Usually, though, they just call female victims liars and deny the abuse ever occurred.

It’s pretty clear that the MRM position is that men should be allowed to attack women for any reason, and that women should never be allowed to defend themselves.

Brandon
Brandon
10 years ago

@Hellkell: And is morality not subjective? I didn’t realize that morality was this absolute concept where everyone has the same, exact set of values and principles.

Oh, that’s right…it IS subjective.

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