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6 myths about boobs that will scramble your brain because they are, like, so incredibly stupid

We’re all interested in boobs

So the other day we looked at some, well let’s charitably call them myths, about the human vagina. Today we’re going to look a matched pair of other cis female body parts that are the source of a lot of curiosity and confusion. I am referring, of course, to the boobies.

Here are six completely incorrect notions about boobs that are going around, courtesy of the BadWomensAnatomy, NotHowGirlsWork and MenWritingWomen subreddits.

Women deliberately get pregnant to make their boobs bigger for birthday photos.

So some ladies deliberately get pregnant up to 4 months to their birthday for their boobs to become big, terminate the baby weeks to their birthday just to look good in their photoshoots. Yep. 
4:26 PM -eb 21, 2022 • Twitter for Android

Boobs can function as a mobile Starbucks in a pinch.

Once when my mom was breastfeeding my little bro she had drank like 4 cups of strong coffee one particular day and when she went to feed him her breast milk came out pure coffee, almost like a latte. Not even joking

If a young girl has saggy breasts, it’s probably because she’s having sex with lots of guys.

 r/IndiaTalksSex 
VoteCio < Share in 
44RpIy 1 
Ruthlessruth77 10m If they are too saggy chances are that they've been grinded enough lol <-1 Reply 4 -4 0, •throwawayfise OP • 10m They can sag from many different reasons. Mainly gravity. 
4 2 
10. Ruthlessruth77 I mean it depends on the age...if a young girl boobs are saggy there maybe a chance that she, promiscuous. But there are also other reasons that they can be saggy too...cant tell for sure 
< 0. Vote 
Mast_Devil 10m Yes.. sucked boobs becomes shaggy.. 
7 people are here fr, Add a comment

Sorry, I meant to say that if a woman has big boobs it’s because she had too much sex in her teen years.

Probably going to get downvoted for saying this, since that's what happens every time you tell a fact on this site, but I'll say it anyway. The size of a woman's boobs has everything to do with how much/if sex she had as a teenager. If a woman has big boobs, it's because she got railed by a fuck ton of guys as a teen while she was still developing, since sex heavily increases estrogen production. So if she has small boobs, she's either a virgin or a 10 year old. So do you want a, excuse me, slut or one that looks like a little boy? Us guys just can't win man, lol. 
Breast side has almost nothing to do with gEnEtiCs as you feminists keep claiming. Keep lying to yourself or face the facts. <-) Reply 0

You can purse your nipples like you purse your lips. Indeed, you can do all sorts of things with your breasts because they’re secretly prehensile.

 At Bristol University, she had already achieved a reputa-U. 1._ non as a sex scientist. In her first year she had gone through  the men like an enema. Now they considered her to be a wirer. She agreed she was. Except she never took money. Perhaps later she would experiment with money. But at the moment she was a hot-house plant and loved it. She realised wiOutside the loft where Mrs. Spark was holding her sup-posed Literary Meeting, Anna Spark listened at the keyhole. Her curved breasts were tense with concentration. She could not hear exactly what was being said but she sensed that her mother was experimenting in the other dimension. Unlike her mother, her eyes were not deep with the mid-She continuea ; Liuiurcn, go nome The children stood arms akimbo. They were not going to be pushed around by the desire which-niip-led along her nipples. She realised she would have to make them a promise. She called Billy over and whispered in his ear. 'Billy, bring the Gang to the giant oak at about half past six tonight, and we will continue our Nature Ramble. Now, don't argue! We have a lot to do before tomorrow night.' She moved towards the village, allowing her hips to con-tinue the conversation. Anna turned her head to see if her rhythmical magnet was functioning rl.kNEpx=ed,ursing her nip-ples towards him and then swung on. He caught her up as they reached the village. The amusement on his part had gibing her breasts. Microscopic strands of material irri-tated her steeples and the church of her body ached to chime. The left breast was fractionally larger than its sister. It was Anna's favourite. She flexed it towards the wall.

Your boobs can get sucked into someone’s butthole if you get too carried away during sex.

myself over her and then drag my breasts across her ,lust barely touching her skin with them. Slowly, ever so achingly slowly, I trail my now-hardened nipples down her ass to the tops of her thighs. Ah, her hips are really grinding now. Inspired, I take my right tit in my hand and stuff it up into her crack, so she can feel my flesh all up and down her. Her heat rises higher, and her hips move more furiously, sucking my tit into her.

Time for a nap. My brain hurts.

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YlVi
YlVi
2 months ago

@Jenora Feuer

There have been fantasy books that have played with the sex-linked magic sort of thing in ways to work with trans narratives… what happens when somebody who was born a girl turns out to be able to use men’s magic, and how do people who are invested in the current system react to that?

Ooh, that makes me think of a story I’ve been working on in which a godess bestows her magic only on women, and this magic is seen as the strongest gender indicator that exists in this world. Doesn’t matter what your body looks like, if you can do these magical things, you’re a woman. I’m not quite sure if I want to make it so that this godess just knows whether someone is a trans woman, or if it’s more of a very strong cultural perception, but I thought it would be an interesting way to play with cultural ideas of what “makes” someone a man or a woman.

Last edited 2 months ago by YlVi
.45
.45
2 months ago

Hmmmmm… substitute magic for science/education. I.E. In most societies in our history women get the short end of the stick as far as STEM or education goes, in many cultures not even being taught much beyond basic reading and writing. So, it would be easy to have a world where magic is treated in a similar fashion and women are thought to be weaker, more inclined to heal and use water spells, their accomplishments are appropriated by men, so on and so forth. Any woman who gets a real education/is naturally gifted and proves to be as powerful and skilled as any man is thought of as an anomaly.

This reminds me of a book I read a long time ago. I don’t remember the title or much about it, except that it was Indian or possibly Middle Eastern flavored, and the focus was on a young woman who could use magic. For a reason never explained, something changed and only women could use magic. The male magic users didn’t take this well, and pretended they still had magic, belittled and attempted to control/oppress female magic users, etc, etc, a not unpredictable series of events.

At the time I was sheltered and didn’t really understand the themes. I imagine now I might have a better chance of relating it to the current situation in India or just society in general.

Queen of the Harpies
Queen of the Harpies
2 months ago

@YlVi

I getcha, no worries.

That story idea of yours sounds interesting. I think I’d like it if the goddess could identify trans women. Could be a source of drama if some guy being trained from birth for Super Important Manly Job suddenly develops magic powers.

@Lumipuna

If only! I just remembered how Donald Trump complained at one point during his presidency that dishwashers (as well as toilets and shower heads) are performing poorly due to Obama’s communist-conservationist water pressure regulations, or something like that.

Damn that Librul Hippie Water Conspiracy!

@Cyborgette

And mm, “somebody designed it like that” would actually be a really good plot point IMO? Like, “magic works completely differently depending on gender because some ancient evil wizard laid a dying curse on the whole planet”, or “because the original god of magic was murdered by her sons out of jealousy and they divided her life force unequally” or something like that. If you’re going to go there, actually go there, and tackle the deep fucked-up-ness of it. But IME very little if any SF/F deals with the idea of a metaphysically sexist universe where someone canonically, maliciously made it that way, from the perspectives of women characters. And that’s really too bad.

All great ideas, and yeah, at least it would give an excuse for the sexist system. But the sexist authors can’t see what’s wrong with what they’re doing, so it’s just magical Gender Essentialism.

@Dalillama

Sir Galahad from thr Arthurian cycle is also generally held to have been the only knight able to complete the Grail quest due to his virginity.

Oh, I just remember the Monty Python jokes.

I knew Artemis and some other goddesses required virginity, but I never heard anything about it being tied to magic.

@.45

Interesting comparison.

North Sea Sparkly Dragon
North Sea Sparkly Dragon
2 months ago

R.e. the WoT discussion: I read a lot o fantasy, but like the SOFAI books, I never read them. I think I was overwhelmed by the sheer number of novels even in about 1998 when I started reading from the adult section of the library. A friend at university (2001 -2004) tried to get me into them but I was too busy barely coping with my degree to devote time to them. I read Discworld books instead and occasionally re-read LOTR. I also avoided HP. I tried reading the books because my uni friends were so into them, but I gave up half way through the third one. They have no literary merit and frankly the racism (only thing I really noticed at the time) appalled me. Tamora Pierce and Sir Terry Pratchett had/have their questionable points (fatphobia, power imbalances in relations) but I definitely dodged a bullet avoiding WoT, ASOFAI and HP. And I’m not watching the TV series or films of any of them either. I tried with GoT, but wasn’t fussed.

I finished a book yesterday, Iron Widow, by Xiran Jay Zhao, which is science-fantasy. The magic is based on Xi and girls are deliberately weakened but nobody knows until the main character Wu Zetian and her partner Li Shimin torture the information out of someone. They then go home to their partner, who is making buns for the three of them. Zetian is such a bad-ass. The book is decidedly ‘this shit is misogyny, why do we do that?’ and I highly recommend it.

Surplus to Requirements
Surplus to Requirements
2 months ago

Define “literary merit”. Apparently, at least in your usage, it’s distinct from both “popularity” and “a big legacy publishing house deemed it worthy of at least one print run” …

Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Intergalactic Meani
Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Intergalactic Meani
2 months ago

I can get the whole ‘must be a virgin to operate magic’ thing if it was presented as a condition of getting said magic to begin with, aka Equivalent Exchange. ‘In order to get access to this magic you must give up the idea of ever having intimate physical relationships with anyone’ could work as a workaround for having only virginal magic users running around.

And now all this discussion of female magic is reminding me of a young adult book I found years ago called Nameless Magery. The main teenaged character, whose name translates into English as ‘Nameless’ (all female successors to the throne get renamed that when they’re chosen) finds herself on a world where there are seemingly no female magic users, only male ones. Why this is is one of the plots of the book. And while I can see the reasoning behind what happened to the female magic users on this world (basically they’re all in hiding), there’s a fair bit of WTF in this book’s setup that aren’t addressed at all as to how horrible they are.

IIRC (it’s been a few years since I read this thing) the culture the main character comes from is ruled by a male Year King and a female whose job title I don’t immediately recall, but she rules for 10 years. The male ruler rules for one year (hence the name) and makes all the decisions that need to be made in the heat of the moment, something along those lines anyway. At the end of his year the YK is ritually killed and eaten while his memory is honored by the rest.

The female ruler makes all the decisions requiring thought and deliberation, that don’t have to be made in the heat of the moment. She has one kid by each of the YKs that rule beside her in that decade, and it is from those ten kids her successor is chosen. At the end of her reign she is stripped of her rank, kicked out onto the road and treated as a pariah by her former subjects. And when she dies her body is left alone, and the place she dies in is avoided by all as a cursed place.

As I recall it, none of that setup is ever questioned by the protagonist, who is next in line for the ‘honor’ of female ruler. Nor do I recall any explanation of why this ‘matriarchal’ culture is set up like this. No gods that I recall saying ‘rule yourselves like this’, no mention of a long-ago conquer setting up that system as a way to keep protag’s people in line, nothing.

Oh, and did I mention that the True Love Soulmate of the teenager protagonist is not only old enough to be her father, but an asshole who, amongst other seriously jerky things, set her up with his teenaged son just long enough to show the noble daughter-in-law he REALLY wanted that yes, his son is straight and thus able to have a proper relationship with her? >.<

*facepalm*

Queen of the Harpies
Queen of the Harpies
2 months ago

@Redsilkphoenix

That sounds like all kinds of nasty. I’ve read a few bad books in my time, but it sounds like I’ve been dodging bullets like Neo considering some of the garbage out there.

Moon Custafer
Moon Custafer
2 months ago

@Redsilkphoenix:

At the end of her reign she is stripped of her rank, kicked out onto the road and treated as a pariah by her former subjects. And when she dies her body is left alone, and the place she dies in is avoided by all as a cursed place.

I can see that part, at least, making sense if it’s presented as (a) a ritual scapegoating, just another part of the ten-year-queen’s religious duties and parallel to the year-king’s (admittedly much quicker) sacrifice; and/or (b) something that frees her up to make unpopular but necessary decisions, since she’s going to be cast down at the end of her ten-year term of office no matter what. 

Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Intergalactic Meani
Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Intergalactic Meani
2 months ago

Hadn’t considered the idea of the Queen’s eventual fate being a ritual sacrifice before. When I dig that book out of the pile of sacks/boxes I tossed stuff in when I moved last year, I’ll give it a reread. I don’t recall the ruler deaths being presented as a ritual so much as ‘this is how we run our government’, similar to how I might present the workings of my local government to an outsider.

The book still had a fairly high WTF rating, though.

GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
2 months ago

If you know a child of any gender who wants to read about kids learning magic, kindly give them Diane Duane’s “Young Wizards” series which begins with “So You Want To Be A Wizard”. An ordinary girl and boy from Long Island (not rich, popular, gorgeous, super-smart, nor all-white) discover magic.

It literally eventually spans the universe, and all the people and alien people are regarded as valid, whether they know magic or not. The parents and other grown-ups are involved, and everyone has real-life joys and sorrows. The kids text each other on their phones after school.

No weird-ass boarding school rituals, no looking down on “muggles” or non-humans, the kids still have to go to middle school, people worry about bills, and there are moments of transcendence and beauty that Rowling couldn’t even dream of, plus genuinely funny humor and lovely writing.

The kids will thank you. You should read them, too.

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