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disinformation dude you've got no fucking idea what you're talking about mansplaining misogyny vaginas

The Vaginal Misinformation Squad is out in full force

This is an actual stock photo, listed under “vagina.” I didn’t add the, er, sauce.

Vaginas can be a bit confusing, for those who don’t have them and even for some who do. That doesn’t stop some of the most confused men from confidently offering up their dubious wisdom on the subject, often in online conversations with actual vagina-havers. Call it Vaginasplaining.

Here are a few recent examples of this curious phenomenon; I found them by perusing Reddit’s BadWomen’sAnatomy and NotHowGirlsWork subreddits.

Vaginas can detect when a new dick enters them, and each one causes her to age six months.

Certified Toxic Fella If .Shadaya Knight For every new d'%ick that enters her, she ages 6 months more. Meaning the more d cks that enter her, the more older she gets. That explains why some females in their early 20s don't even look their age, they look like they're in their late 20s to early 30s... 6:26 AM • 26 Feb 22 • Twitter for iPhone

Dude, the clit and the vagina are NOT THE SAME THING. Also, vaginas don’t work like that.

Reverendo Daniel Salcedo Jul 6, 2020 • el #SIN This is how the clitoris looks after introducing one, two, three and up to four fingers during #SEXO. Now do you understand why God gave every part of the body a function? and I repeat what I already said: 
(m) 
135 
The #clitoris isn't meant to be self-satisfied. It's meant to create a baby, stupid. Why do they feel like trash after masturbating? Because the clitoris is sending harmful chemicals to their brain. That's the devil's bell and if they keep pressing it the evil one will answer

Dudes with big dicks knock a woman’s “pleasure spot” into the farthest reaches of the vagina, where no small dick can go.

Everytime you're on top of her, she has to imagine one of her many exs who really gave it to her, so she can endure you on top of her. The sex is such a chore for her, because you can't even reach her pleasure spot, it was sunk deep by all the dudes who smashed her before you... 3:36 AM • 26 Feb 22 Twitter for Phone

Women can simply squeeze themselves like a toothpaste tube to push all of their icky period stuff out. Ts da! No more period.

when he says squeeze my stomach my period will come and rt will be over

Vaginas adapt themselves to the shape of every dick that enters them on a regular basis, like memory foam.

r/NoStupidQuestions ••• • 734 233. Sham 
1 
I would actually bet it comes from the fact that vaginas do tend to "acclimate" to the penis they experience most. If you have a large member and sleep with a woman, the first couple times it might be painful for them and difficult to get in, but after a couple times, it gets much, much easier. But if you wait a week or so, it goes right back to painful and difficult again. 
So, if one woman is banging multiple dudes in the same short period of time, the she may seem loose to the one with the smallest dick. •-• -3 o, 
That's not how it works at all. 
Vaginas are not made of memory foam

Dudes, is it too much to ask for you to just shut up when you clearly know nothing about the subject at hand? I guess it is.

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Correction Automatique
Correction Automatique
2 months ago

Wow! According to a couple of these dudes, vaginas are TARDISes. Bigger on the inside and a time machine to boot!

The world is rather sucky today, but don’t worry, women can excuse themselves while they go shag into next week.

kupo
kupo
2 months ago

I’m reminded of the ex who I had this conversation with:

Me: I have a cold *sniffle*
Ex: Aww, is your vagina snotty?
Me: No, I just….wait, what?

Anyway, I’m really curious about that #SEXO hashtag. Typo? Weird new MRA hashtag? Dude simply too immature to write the word “sex”? It’s a mystery!

GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
2 months ago

Whoever made the memory foam comment deserves an internet.

KindasortaHarmless
KindasortaHarmless
2 months ago

I think I’ve seen all of these cliches in hentai. On the one hand, misinformation isn’t good, but on the other hand, I suppose anything that keeps these weirdos away from real vaginas (and their owners, and women without vaginas) is a net positive.

Last edited 2 months ago by KindasortaHarmless
Muscovy Duck
Muscovy Duck
2 months ago

@kupo
The post with the #SEXO looks like it was auto-translated, so maybe the hashtag just didn’t get translated by the auto-translated software? I know “sexo” is sex in Spanish, for instance.

kupo
kupo
2 months ago

@Muscovy Duck
That makes sense. Twitter doesn’t translate hashtags, so Facebook (I assume by the look?) probably doesn’t either.

Pidge
Pidge
2 months ago

I think the memory foam vagina guy may be telling on himself.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
2 months ago

it was sunk deep by all the dudes who smashed her before you

Is this sex, or the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald?

Kat, ambassador, feminist revolution (in exile)
Kat, ambassador, feminist revolution (in exile)
2 months ago

Lucky me, I have never put eggplant anywhere but in my mouth.

Lizzie
Lizzie
2 months ago

May I recommend the Scarleteen site for genuine information about bodies, sex, relationships etc to anyone reading this site who maybe didn’t get any sex education at school or who wants to check out something they have been told about bodies and sex that doesn’t seem right to them.

Lumipuna
Lumipuna
2 months ago

Buttercup – Clearly a reference to the movie Titanic.

TB Tabby
TB Tabby
2 months ago

OT: Has anyone read the latest Basic Instructions yet? It covers seeing things in a new light, with an example I’m all too familiar with: realizing something presented as romantic in a work of fiction was actually really creepy.

https://www.basicinstructions.net/basic-instructions/2022/3/1/how-to-see-something-in-a-whole-new-light

Jazzlet
Jazzlet
2 months ago

@TB Tabby
Urgh, all too familiar.

I know vaginas smelling of fish is a thing, see eg. traditional blues songs, but picturing the clitoris/vagina as a hunk of dead fish is taking another step in proving you don’t have a clue what any of them are like.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
2 months ago

@Lumipuna – These are indeed the sort of guys who proceed full steam ahead, heedless of iceberg warnings.

I think we should all start referring to the bottom of the sea as “Davy Jones’ G-spot”.

LouCPurr
LouCPurr
2 months ago

I saw this one today

comment image

Last edited 2 months ago by LouCPurr
Full Metal Ox
2 months ago

@LouCPurr:

…her clothes expose[d] her buttocks and [cervix] area.

It’s well within physiological possibility for her clothing to have exposed her neck. (A thought prompted by the time I visited a chiropractor complaining of pain in the cervical area; her initial response: “New boyfriend?” Ma’am, think a moment: if it’d been that cervical area, would I have brought it to you or a gynecologist?)

rabid rabbit
rabid rabbit
2 months ago

#3: Yet another case of a dude starting out a statement where he seems to have caught on to the truth, and then turning around to find a reason why the fact she doesn’t like having sex with him* isn’t his fault.

*And seriously, dude, why are you having sex with her if she doesn’t like it??? Fine, I know why, it’s because having a small dick (in your own estimation) doesn’t protect you against being a huge one.

GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
2 months ago

@LouCPurr: I LOL. That’s a really bad prolapse if true. Or, more likely, the cop was also one of those guys who doesn’t know female anatomy. (I wonder if the Vagisil Bandit I met was more clued-in) (see Nick A thread for those details)

@Jazzlet: IIRC, they only smell like fish if they’re infected. And Mr. SEXO wasted a lot of perfectly good salmon to get that terribly inaccurate picture.

@TBTabby: ugh, too true.

Man, I wish that toothpaste idea was true. I bet every woman in the history of the world would have wished it was true.

Banananananana dakry: still fat and deranged
Banananananana dakry: still fat and deranged
2 months ago

For something they want to get inside of so badly, they sure don’t know a lot about it.

Queen of the Harpies
Queen of the Harpies
2 months ago

I think “vagsplaining” has a better ring to it and is shorter.

BadWomen’sAnatomy is both a great source of humor and a horror show. And I thought I used to be ignorant. Some of those entries give me nightmares.

Does “Reverendo” just go down a list of random ladyparts and pick one out? Not only is what he’s trying to say stupid, he can’t even get the right body part. (Yet he talks about the “devil’s bell” as if he has some idea… Does he think they’re fused together into one… flesh thingy?)

Dear Twitter Moron (#2), still having trouble finding the mythical g-spot, eh? Here’s a hint: Go up, not forward.

@Banananananana dakry

IKR? They’d be super indignant if we started “dicksplaining” to them, but they don’t even know the names or proper locations of any ladybits beyond “wet hole I can shove my sausage into” while calling themselves “experts”.

Full Metal Ox
2 months ago

Reverendo’s interpretation of cis female anatomy makes sense if he’s been dating hyenas (although hyena pseudophalluses still aren’t made of sardines.)

Lumipuna
Lumipuna
2 months ago

Christian anti-masturbation weirdos sometimes identify the clitoris as “Devil’s doorbell”. However, in fact Devil doesn’t answer the doorbell any more due to frequent pestering by Jehovah’s Witnesses.

GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
2 months ago

@Lumipuna: Considering how much more visible penises are, they must be… I dunno… the Devil’s doorknocker? 🙂

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