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chad enforced monogamy friend zoning incels misogyny sexual inequality stacies

Incel imagines a utopian future of government-issued girlfriends for incels and Nuremberg trials for Chads

Incels certainly have vivid imaginations, whether they’re looking at the present, reinventing the past or imagining the future.

Today, an old posting from a regular on Incels.is called mericks that sketches out his fantasy of a utopian (for incels) future world of 2050 in which incels are finally given their due, by which he means virgins for “oldcels,” government-issued girlfriends for “youngcels” and Nuremberg trials for Chads.

In merick’s future world things don’t start out quite so rosy for the incels.

The year is 2050. The last four decades have been tumultuous for the west – the isla vista massacre in ’14, the joker riots of ’22, the battle of Tampa in ’30, the incel concentration camps in California. The CHAD act was passed in ’28 declaring that all male virgins above the age of 16 are no longer considered humans, and thus can be legally killed, tortured or eaten like animals.

Dude, trust me, no one wants to eat your stank ass.

Thankfully, the 2040’s turned out to be a decade of understanding as both sides laid down their weapons and instead turned to diplomacy. A mutual understanding was reached and both sides agreed to create a better society through diplomacy, not violence.

A “better society” for merick means one in which incel sexual fantasies all come true at once as girls and women lose their basic bodily autonomy.

Now a new morning dawns as the 2050s begin. Young women allow oldcels the oppurtunity to be the first to defile their pure virginal bodies as reparations for the sins of their parents. It doesn’t make up for the decades of denial and torment, but its the best that can be done and the oldcels are greatful.

I’m sure the virgins are thrilled to be “defiled” by old dudes.

Nuremburg-style tribunals are conducted, not just to mete out punishment for those who participated in the incel concentration camps, but also to decide a fair punishment for all chads for their crimes against humanity dating back as far back as the 1990s.

It’s always about “retribution” for these guys.

Youngcels are put into counseling, not concentration camps, and they’re encouraged to speak openly about their experiences getting friendzoned by stacies.

You know, incels., you can put yourselves into counseling right the fuck now, and talk about the alleged evils of friendzoning all you want, or at least until you finally realize that “friendzoning” is not really a thing.

At the age of 16, all youngcels are given government-issued girlfriends to ensure that the incel crisis never builds up to the boiling point it did before.

The perennial incel daydream of sexual “redistribution.”

It’s a new age of acceptance for the incel. There’s even talk in Washington that America may be electing its first incel president in 2052 – but we won’t know for sure until after the election.

It’ll be Barron Trump, won’t it.

H/T — Thanks to waldorsockbat onn the Incel Tear subreddit for digging out this several-year-old incel fantasy.

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Critical Dragon1177
3 months ago

David Futrelle,
From now on, maybe we should just call INCEL’s sexual fascists

Alan Robertshaw
3 months ago

@ buttercup

Diplomacy really isn’t a synonym for “caved to our violent demands”.

Ah but as von Clausewitz said: “Cannibalism is diplomacy by other means”
@ lumipuna

My Pleasure. Glad you found it helpful.

Full Metal Ox
3 months ago

@LollyPop;

The only flaw I can see in this plan is, how do we breed enough Stacies to fulfil the need for government issue girlfriends? For these young men should certainly never settle for a mere Becky. I imagine something along the lines of Saruman’s production line of Urak Hai will solve the problem.

A further complication: to the extent that conventional beauty is genetic, wouldn’t Stacies tend to be sired by Chads?

Snowberry
Snowberry
3 months ago

@Alan Robertshaw: “We could go through the entire population in 17 days” assumes that our meat livestock was being fed to something else all this time instead of humans, and that livestock suddenly vanished and it started eating us instead. Feeding humans to other humans while meat livestock still exists would take much, much longer – how much longer depending on what assumptions you make for that particular scenario. If it’s something which only culls a portion of each generation, like “you a still a virgin by your ##th birthday? Into the meat grinder with you!” and that’s the only way it ever happens, then it could potentially last indefinitely, depending on birth rates.

@OP: Something which has always bothered me about the whole GGG (“Government Gives Girlfriends”, not to be confused with Dan Savage’s “Good, Giving, Game”) concept is that… isn’t what makes a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship… a relationship? I mean, a lot of incels are going to treat that as a friends-with-benefits situation where even the “friends” part is rather questionable at best, and then toss them aside after they lose interest, then demand a new one. But what about the situation where the girlfriend is forced to pretend to love someone who makes her miserable, while the incel-boyfriend is madly in love and convinced that she feels the same? How long is she expected to keep it up, a year, a decade, a lifetime? Maybe, given enough time, he’ll come to realize that he’s been using a fake relationship as a crutch, and find the help needed to lose the incel mentality… but that’s an arrangement which is very much not conductive to reaching that epiphany.

Also, even if you could get a majority to agree to it, this wouldn’t work well because women are human, not consummate pretend-relationship actors whose feelings don’t matter… wait. Aren’t we working on making artificial versions of those?

Alan Robertshaw
3 months ago

@ snowberry

Feeding humans to other humans while meat livestock still exists would take much, much longer

A “Save a cow; eat an incel” policy would appeal though to both vegans and/or feminists.

And cows.

.45
.45
3 months ago

If you are over 16 without a girlfriend, you ride the Carousel? OK…

These incel fantasies and alternative histories remind me of my own when I was young and started learning about sex. Growing up sheltered and having listened to a number of pearl clutching types who thought today’s culture was all about sex and nothing like the Puritanical era of their youth*, I made some leaps of logic that would shame even the best of them.

Assuming an unbroken chain of increasing sexuality over all of human history, I predicted that we would all be walking around naked and sex toys would be next to the candy at supermarket checkouts by the time I was 16.

Strangely, this did not come to pass, perhaps because an 11-12 year old being raised to believe dating and sex outside marriage are right up there with rape and pedophilia isn’t the best judge of world history and not in a position to predict anything.

*The Puritanical era where they got preggers at 16 and banged ten guys in college, but are now upset their 17 year old daughter was caught kissing some dude, because hypocrisy is par for the course for such people.

Which is weird when you think about it…

Incels: “Everyone’s having sex but me!!!”

Vs

Promiscuous Soccer Moms: “Me and my friends were the only ones sleeping around in my day!”

Surplus to Requirements
Surplus to Requirements
3 months ago

@Alan Robertshaw:

If there’s import issues I’ll ask an EU/EFTA friend to order it for me.

Smarter move might be to export yourself. Not only do you have brexit and BoJo there, but they’ve let COVID run rampant while trashing the NHS and turning apartment towers into tinderboxes, and now I heard somewhere that someone had no import issues whatsoever with bringing in some live Ebola from Africa and that is now spreading.

The UK seems to be in decline … no, scratch that. The US seems to be in decline; the UK, a nosedive.

Snowberry
Snowberry
3 months ago

@Alan Robertshaw: As a feminist, I’m a little insulted by the implication that involuntary, culture-mandated asymmetrical slaughter could be considered a form of equality. There are, like, maybe a dozen or so female incels versus somewhere from a few hundred to a few thousand male incels; that’s not at all gender-balanced. 🐄 😅 😛

Malintzin
Malintzin
3 months ago

This sounds a lot like Zamyatin’s “We”. Only in an incredibly boring and tiresome version.

GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
3 months ago

The incels would still whine because the government-issued girlfriends wouldn’t all be Stacies. And there wouldn’t be a next generation of Stacies without Chads to father them. They really haven’t thought this through.

I’m pretty sure incels aren’t free-range, organic fed, certified free of BSE, so no one would want to eat them. Might as well stick with conventional livestock if you’re a meat eater, at least there are a few rules about that.

And they’re positing over a decade where all the incels can die easily, so ain’t none of them going to be around to “negotiate” their dream world after everyone gets to re-enact “The Most Dangerous Game”. It might be good for endangered species, though, the men who get their jollies killing lions, tigers, elephants, etc. would probably like hunting incels instead. Not least because they wouldn’t have to travel so far! “Yep, dropped me a 150 lb. dweeb last weekend over to the local wi-fi hotspot.”

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
3 months ago

@Alan

Ah but as von Clausewitz said: “Cannibalism is diplomacy by other means”

So… speak softly, but carry a big spork?

@OP

It’s a new age of acceptance for the incel. 

This sounds like some horrible parody of “Hair”, where entitlement will guide the planets and rage will steer the stars.

Lollypop
Lollypop
3 months ago

@Full Metal Ox

I didn’t think of this! I’m pretty sure I’ve seen incels raging at their parents for passing on their “inferior” genes and condeming them to a life of misery. Their utopian vision may require keeping a few Chads around to harvest their sperm

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
3 months ago

Slightly OT, but I just ran across this video about the history of dieting, and I was surprised to learn that in the 19th century, the main target of the newborn dieting industry was men. After all, they were no longer doing manly things like physical labor, but were sitting in offices all day and getting soft-bodied. Shudder! There’s also a reactionary component, since this was a time when women were becoming more educated and independent. Horrors!

All of which goes to show that cultural expectations of gender presentation may not always repeat, but they often rhyme.

numerobis
numerobis
3 months ago

I’m a wee bit confused on how friendzoning is not a thing? One-way interest followed by “no I just want to be friends” followed by actually continuing to hang out is not exactly rare in my life (with me on either side of that) or in my friends’ lives. The attracted party doesn’t always handle it well of course.

Kat, ambassador, feminist revolution (in exile)
Kat, ambassador, feminist revolution (in exile)
3 months ago

@Victorious Parasol

I was surprised to learn that in the 19th century, the main target of the newborn dieting industry was men.

So when babies were too fat, fathers were told that it was their responsibility to get newborns to slim down? Oh wait . . . Okay, never mind.

Queen of the Harpies
Queen of the Harpies
3 months ago

@Battering Lamb

You can call me Harpy. 🙂 Wouldn’t want the royal title to go to my head, after all.

@numerobis

“Friendzoning” is just what incels and other creeps call it when they get rejected, but the girl still tries to be nice about it and they throw a tantrum. And that’s why I never say I “just” want to be friends. I say being friends is more important than being in a relationship to me. And if I didn’t want to be friends with someone crushing on me, I wouldn’t offer. As a result, I still have many long lasting friendships that would have otherwise fizzled out (or imploded) as romantic relationships.

Full Metal Ox
3 months ago

@Kat:

So when babies were too fat, fathers were told that it was their responsibility to get newborns to slim down? Oh wait . . . Okay, never mind.

,..NEWBORNS? You’re not exaggerating? It’s reached that point?

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
3 months ago

@Kat

LOL

I wonder what would’ve happen if I’d written something like “when the diet industry was in its infancy”?

Gerald Fnord
Gerald Fnord
3 months ago

As usual, persecution fantasies are based on the premise that the people having them are worth even noticing, much less persecuting.

Gerald Fnord
Gerald Fnord
3 months ago

@snowberry
You’re quite right: State-issued ‘girlfriends’ to incels wouldn’t work, and for the same reason that sex-robots wouldn’t. Incels’ real beef is that they feel their inability to find a partner on their own to be a judgement of their worth as human beings, which would not be affected by their purchasing or the government’s assigning them a sex-partner.

Though I’m definitely not of their party, I’d say that they’re not entirely wrong: many people _do_ in fact treat their inability to find a partner as a judgement on them as being worthless. Reasonable screeds against incel nonsense have been ruined for me by such making a turn toward ‘…and why should we listen to a bunch of neck-beards who can’t get a girlfriend?’, because that fundamentally agrees with them.

Surplus to Requirements
Surplus to Requirements
3 months ago

That’s also why sex workers aren’t a solution to their problem, despite already existing. Because it’s not really about sex with incels, it’s about status.

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