By David Futrelle
Misogynists really seem to hate women with tattoos. I’ve always assumed that this is because tattooed women don’t exactly fit their fantasy of the demure tradwife hottie who will happily devote her life to making them sandwiches and washing their probably very disgusting underwear. Or maybe, I thought, they’re just intimidated.
But apparently I’m completely wrong about this. Turns out that tattoos on women aren’t a symbol of female agency; they’re a sign that the, er, merchandise has already been sold. To some sort of evil wizard.
That’s the thesis, in any case, of this random dude on the Braincels subreddit, home to Reddit’s increasingly restless “involuntary” celibates.
Well, that makes sense. But wbat about men with tattooes? Sadly, Mr. Concerned-father2 offers no guidance on this subject, so I guess we’ll never know.
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My dad was totally against tattoos, until he was almost 60, when sentimentality about his dad (who was in the merchant navy in the 1940s and 50s, and thus was tattooed) took over, and he got one in memory. He’s had two more since. The tattooist was my cousin; does that mean my dad is owned by his nephew?
My sister is planning to get a tattoo from my cousin next month. This could get complicated.
I have 5 tattoos (including most of my right arm), and most of the work was done by female tattoo artists; where does that leave me? Also, both my thighs were done by my best friend, and she’s working on designs for two more for me…so does she own me cause she’s done the most individual pieces, or the woman who did all of my right arm? I need clarification here, random incel dude.
If you commission an artist to create something (painting, sculpture, a massive fresco on some wicked tall vaulted ceiling, whatever) they may be the creator but when you hand them whatever the promised ‘consideration’ for their work might be (usually money, sometimes other ‘in kind’ goods or services are exchanged for the work that they agree to create) and you take possession of the thing they made – you own it. You don’t own the artist, but you own their commissioned work.
Paying a tattoo artist to give you a tattoo, despite what incels would like to believe, does not mean that the tattoo artist owns either part of or the whole of your body. It doesn’t work like that! (That’s not how it works! That’s not how ANY OF THIS works!)
It’s not like I could have done my two tattoos myself, not if I wanted them to even remotely resemble the designs that the artist came up with based on the descriptions I shared with him. Before he even started he sketched them out and we went through a process of revisions until the design on paper was the design I wanted – before then onto that weird paper that can transfer a design onto skin (I don’t know what it’s called though). I may be able to contort my arms so that my hands can apply lotion onto the middle of my back with ease, but there’s no way I can draw and then tattoo myself on the lower back without it looking terrible. Tattoos are permanent, so it’s important to choose the right design for yourself, and the right tattoo artist to do it. And the tiny one on the inside of my left ankle, as a right handed person, would likely be too much work only to have it turn out badly. My bosom gets in the way when I’m giving myself a pedicure, and I don’t have to stress about nail polish being forever – unlike a tattoo. 😛
@Valkyrine
It’s alright sugar, I understand. My brother is a pretty good guy and it had nothing to do with my tattoo being attractive. He was mainly worried about future jobs being judgmental of me for having a tattoo in site because that’s the world we live in.
To be honest though I think it worked out pretty well. I work mostly with children and I feel like it’s a lot easier when a 5 year old see my tattoo and ask me what it is, I can tell them it’s a flower that I got put on my arm to remind me of my grandmother. As appose to a 5 year old seeing a scar on my wrist and asking me what that is and me having to come up with some other answer then it’s a scar from when I used to cut myself.
funny enough I had one little girl asked about my tattoos about a week ago. I live in a conservative state, and I know for a fact that this little girls mama doesn’t like tattoos. She taught her that if someone has a tattoo it means they aren’t very smart. This just short sercited this little girls brain though when she saw mine. She’s knows I’m in school and that I’m going for a phd. I told her you have to read a lot of books and take a lot of test to get a phd. In her mind people that read a lot of books must be really smart. So when she asked me about it this was basically how it went down
“why do you have a tattoo? Mommy says they aren’t a good thing to have”
“well you see when I was younger I”
“you made a mistake?” she interrupted
“no no, well, you know when you fall down and get a cut sometimes when it heals it leaves a scar?”
“yeah”
“well when I was younger someone hurt me really bad and it left a lot of scars on me, I covered them with tattoos because I thought it was nicer then the scars”
“did they hurt you on purpose?”
“yeah they did, but the was a long time ago now. I’m better now”
“why did they hurt you on purpose?”
“because they just weren’t a very nice person. Sometimes people are just mean people”
Heavy thinking from a 5 year old.
Tattoos are cool, just not on human bodies.:)
BSTS
No one asked you. Fuck off.
So is BSTS out there tattooing their cat or…?
You see the best tattoos on the kangaroo bikers.
I’m picturing that tattooed pig from secret life of pets.
@Better safe than sorry
You do what you want with your human* body, we’ll do what we want with ours.
* purportedly
Moon_custafer – … Is that a tank girl reference??? XD
Also, @Better safe than sorry – You’re a jerk.
@Moggie:
*twitch*
I’m not a professional artist myself, but I’m friends with several, and I’ve heard multiple gripes about things like ‘design our logo’ contests being used to get work done for free. Because there’s almost always someone new to the system who falls for the ‘exposure’ excuse.
@bluecat:
There’s an xkcd for everything:
(Considering the artist’s fiancee at the time had been diagnosed with breast cancer, this is a bit of a personal issue.)
‘Not on human bodies’
Hard to do tattoos on anywhere that doesn’t have exposed skin, which is in short supply on most mammals.
@Moon_custafer, Rhuu:
Thanks, now I have Gorillaz songs going through my head. (The same artist having been involved with both them and Tank Girl.)
@ Rhuu:
I guess it is now 😉
(My subconscious is frequently wittier than I am.)