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And the Incomprehensible Racist Gibberish award for this week goes to …

Once upon a time creepy white dudes tried to encourage women to GAIN weight

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By David Futrelle

The former-pickup-artist-turned-racist-shitgibbon James “Heartiste” Weidmann has long been a reliable producer of nearly incomprehensible gibberish. But he’s outdone himself with a little rant he recently appended to a post attacking a dude for coming to the defense of his overweight girlfriend online.

The gist of it, as far as I can tell, is that white dudes should continue fat shaming white women mercilessly, lest our glorious white race split in two. But somehow he makes this awful idea even awfuller by stretching it out over two gloriously incoherent paragraphs. You may need a stiff drink after reading this:

What we are witnessing is the rapid evolutionary split of White America into two racial classes, the El-Aloi (pure White and jewish-hybrid globorace) and the Mudlocks (LSMV fat White chicks slapping a saggital-headed horde of mystery meatballs from the comfort of their Walmart cruisers). Some argue this is best for the White race, because a culling of the dregs further purifies and focuses the minds of the milky cream at the top. I disagree. Allowing and even celebrating the racial jettisoning of our worst kin instead of resisting the broken society that encourages their defiant retreat into depravity will have upstream effects that will reverberate for generations, infecting every member of the race from bottom to top.

The best solution is ending the female obesity epidemic so that a vast blight-wing enstupidation doesn’t take hold in our homeland and despoil the natural beauty. Maybe the day will come when we have no choice but to sever ties with our unlucky kin and kith, but for now there’s still time left to ennoble our worst to aspire to something better. But it won’t happen if our currently operative noblesse malice isn’t replaced soon by a return to noblesse oblige.

Yes, he did just say that harassing white women about their weight is a form of noblesse oblige.

I’m sure he said even worse elsewhere in the rant, but with prose this terrible it’s hard to tell.

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bluecat
bluecat
4 years ago

I got the “Mudlock” ref. It made me wonder if is this is those members of the generation raised on Harry Potter who thought the Death Eaters were the good guys?

Shudder.

JS
JS
4 years ago

vast blight-wing enstupidation… so he thinks the right-wing is getting stupid?

I can agree with that, Heartiste is stupid. *points at currently-mocked post*. That’s probably the only part of the post I can smile at, it’s an oddly fun turn of phrase even if it is ridiculously terrible English.

Lea
Lea
4 years ago

Mrsobedmarsh,
It sure doesn’t. I enjoyed some ice cream while I read this. IDGAF about the opinions of shitty people.
A few years back I did decide to start taking fitness very seriously and at that time I found getting over the fact I was going to be out in shorts and tanks sweating all the time to be a challange because of the judgment of others. I got over it, but it was because I got good with not caring about other people’s attitudes, not because some asshat told me I was gross.

I listened to an episode of The Hilarious World of Depression this morning and the man being interviewed said he had put off medication for years because it made him gain weight. That is so sad. That there are people who would rather endure suicidal ideation and debilitating depression rather than be fat tells us just how fatphobic our culture is.

Diego Duarte
Diego Duarte
4 years ago

Anyone who says that calling them Nazis is hyperbolic and harmful isn’t hecking paying attention.

Precisely this. It’s hard to believe it but they are becoming more and more radicalized by the day, kind of why they went from the horrors of W. Bush to Donald fucking Trump. They’ve been driving this agenda for a while now too.

I don’t care what anyone says: given context christianity is far more radical than Islam could ever hope to be. It took over 70 years of bombing, invasions and installing puppet dictators in their nations for some muslims to become radicalized. In contrast, all it took for 81% christians to become radicalized was the perceived loss of privilege after an African American was elected president of the US.

Lea
Lea
4 years ago

GOSJM,
Silly me. How could I forget. It’s only the end of the world when fat women exist.

Speaking of fat dudes, has anyone else seen the Whimsical Woodsman pin-ups? They’re awesome.

JS
JS
4 years ago

It wasn’t the African American president that caused it. Some Christians have been fighting the Crusades over and over again ever since the first one.

Not sure where you’re getting the 81% number from. Citation?

Lea
Lea
4 years ago

The religious right in the US has been planning and working tirelessly to get where we are today since the 70’s. People laughed it off for too long. At this point I don’t think there is any turning them back. We will be fighting racist theocracy in the US for the remainder of my days.

I was a secular homeschooler in the Bible Belt for years. The culture surrounding Christian fundamentalist homeschooling is built around taking back America for white, Republican Jesus. They are anti-vax (anti-science in general) racist, misogynist, anti-LGBT, anti-union and anti-taxation. (Remeber, I was a married white lady who was a SAHM who homeschooled. I was often assumed to be one of them and the things I saw and heard would turn your hair white.) They want to tear down public schools. They want the economy to collapse. They want women to be barefoot and pregnant under the control of husbands. (Whether they want one or not.)

The more people have to use religious charities, schools, adoption agencies, etc, the more power over society they have and they want a fascist theocracy. They raise their boys to go into law or to preach. They raise their girls to be homemakers who will make babies and homeschool them to keep the trend going. They often mention that they need more white Christian babies. If you leave out the PUA crap and the horrible prose, they sound very much like Fartiste and other Nazi’s.

Gr8Dane
Gr8Dane
4 years ago

What is El-Aloi? Does he mean aioli?

@R
LOL I asked the myself the same thing. I am on a little bit of a diet and all I can think of is food. I do have to say though, I quite like aioli, especially garlic chipotle aioli with crispy yam fries. Soo goood

My white-supremacist-shithead-to-English autotranslator explains it thusly:

“LSMV fat White chicks slapping a saggital-headed horde of mystery meatballs” = “not-swimsuit-model-thin women of European descent physically disciplining their racially mixed children whom the author alleges to be of multiple and/or unknown paternity”.

@Kimstu ooh okay that’s what he meant. I must borrow your dictionary sometime. I could not figure that one out at all. I really thought he meant overweight women on scooters cruising the meat aisles in walmart literally slapping meatballs (as in balls of meat that you eat, not children). I am not used to Shartiste and his writing “technique” yet so thank you for the translation.

Lea
Lea
4 years ago

Side note:
Many of them do provide their children with excellent educations, aside from the dismal science and history they teach.
In an attempt to teach them to debate, speak in public and to love learning, some of them have taught their kids too well.

We’re already seeing young adults breaking away from their parent’s politics and fundamentalist version of faith and speaking against them. I believe there will be more.
That gives me hope.

Diego Duarte
Diego Duarte
4 years ago

@JS

Not sure where you’re getting the 81% number from. Citation?

From the last general elections. Though it seems I made a mistake:

The 81% representes WHITE, born again christians:

http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2016/11/09/how-the-faithful-voted-a-preliminary-2016-analysis/

@ Lea

The religious right in the US has been planning and working tirelessly to get where we are today since the 70’s. People laughed it off for too long. At this point I don’t think there is any turning them back. We will be fighting racist theocracy in the US for the remainder of my days.

I was a secular homeschooler in the Bible Belt for years. The culture surrounding Christian fundamentalist homeschooling is built around taking back America for white, Republican Jesus. They are anti-vax (anti-science in general) racist, misogynist, anti-LGBT, anti-union and anti-taxation. (Remeber, I was a married white lady who was a SAHM who homeschooled. I was often assumed to be one of them and the things I saw and heard would turn your hair white.) They want to tear down public schools. They want the economy to collapse. They want women to be barefoot and pregnant under the control of husbands. (Whether they want one or not.)

Pretty much this. The current political climate did not spawn out of thin air but is rather a consequence of a movement that originated in the Bible Belt and has been promoting itself for decades now.

Jules
Jules
4 years ago

Honestly, I can’t even understand what he’s saying.

dreemr
dreemr
4 years ago

@wwth – solidarity about the centipedes. Ugh, two in one evening? Time to burn the house to the ground.

When I grew up in Michigan I used to see them all the time. Here in Nodak I haven’t seen any (looks around hoping not to jinx herself).

Centipedes – I don’t care what you say about Earth’s creatures all being great. I don’t want to see them.

dslucia
dslucia
4 years ago

@bluecat:

I’m not sure that was necessarily a Harry Potter reference, as everyone else has pointed out the Time Machine connection, but you can be assured that any alt-righter who happens to enjoy Harry Potter (though why they would, I’m not sure) would be cheering for wizard!Hitler.

Dormousing_it
Dormousing_it
4 years ago

I’ve never read Jurassic Park, or The Lost World. I have read The Time Machine; the first time, I was about 10 years old. I re-read it every 5 years or so. It holds up amazingly well, for a science fiction novel as old as it is.

Has there ever been a good film or video adaptation of The Time Machine? I don’t think I’ve ever seen one.

Bina
4 years ago

What we are witnessing is the rapid evolutionary split of White America into two racial classes, the El-Aloi (pure White and jewish-hybrid globorace) and the Mudlocks (LSMV fat White chicks slapping a saggital-headed horde of mystery meatballs from the comfort of their Walmart cruisers). Some argue this is best for the White race, because a culling of the dregs further purifies and focuses the minds of the milky cream at the top. I disagree. Allowing and even celebrating the racial jettisoning of our worst kin instead of resisting the broken society that encourages their defiant retreat into depravity will have upstream effects that will reverberate for generations, infecting every member of the race from bottom to top.

The best solution is ending the female obesity epidemic so that a vast blight-wing enstupidation doesn’t take hold in our homeland and despoil the natural beauty. Maybe the day will come when we have no choice but to sever ties with our unlucky kin and kith, but for now there’s still time left to ennoble our worst to aspire to something better. But it won’t happen if our currently operative noblesse malice isn’t replaced soon by a return to noblesse oblige.

You know, one really has to pity a guy who drops a load of logorrhea like this and thinks he’s uttered some kind of Incredibly Cleverly Worded Deep Wisdom For The Ages.

Unfortunately, said pity does not translate, literally or figuratively, into Fucks Given.

http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/behold-the-field-in-which-i-grow-my-fucks.jpg

This guy’s gonna die barren, and that will, ironically, make his “prophecy” come true.

He is, after all, the shit-headed dregs of his race.

PaganReader - Misandrist Spinster

The naming rights auction to choose the surname for thesecomment image little cuties is live now on theittybittykittycomitee.com! Today is also Special Needs day. All donations through the Itty Bitty Kitty Committee until 8:00 am tomorrow go to this fund.

JS
JS
4 years ago

The naming rights auction for rights to surname the above kittens.

kupo
kupo
4 years ago

@MrsObedMarsh

If you want people to lose weight and keep it off…

Why do you (general you, not you specifically) want other people to lose weight, though? For their health? Weight loss diets are unhealthy, full stop. Not to mention no one is obligated to be healthy for you. The real reason is that our culture demonized fat and makes it out to be a) laziness*, and b) the cause of all the fat person’s ills.

*Except for with certain medical conditions, which you’re never allowed to claim, because then you’re just using it as an excuse.

Antisocialite
Antisocialite
4 years ago

I’m laughing harder than I should be that Heartiste considers himself and all the other slime the “milky cream” at the top.

Hopefully, I’ll be able to keep from laughing when I encounter and/or observe such people as I go through my day.

GrumpyOld SocialJusticeMangina
GrumpyOld SocialJusticeMangina
4 years ago

I have felt for a long time that the only way to entirely conquer the false concept of race is to allow nature to take its course — that is, eventually intermarriage will cause the “white” race to disappear. After all, the whole advantage of sexual reproduction — the reason that almost every organism above the slime molds has it — is genetic diversity. There is a considerable natural selection advantage to mating with someone from a much different gene pool — you can talk to our Finnish friends about the disadvantages of a closed gene pool.
Yes, people like Fartiste will always find something on which to base a false sense of superiority — hopefully one with less splash damage.

I’ll second Lea’s comments on the Fundies. My sister home-schooled my niece due to her health problems (ulcerative colitis) which would have caused her to miss too much regular school. She tried to engage with other home-school families, but was consistently rejected because she is an outspoken atheist.
The eminence grise who inspired the home-school movement was a guy named R. J. Rushdoony, who was a real piece of work. He was a leader of the Dominionist movement, which believes that a “Christian” dictatorship is the only legitimate form of government (talk about radical Islam). He decreed the death penalty for 18 different offenses, which included female unchastity and sassing your parents, and he thought public stoning should be the prescribed way of inflicting it. His ideas were so extreme that only a few people actually follow him explicitly, but a lot of those ideas have percolated into the Fundy mainstream. It’s another reason that the US is becoming a sharply divided nation, so that much of “Middle America” is rejecting the so-called elites — many of whom are their children who went to college and moved as far as possible away from the swamp of hyper-religious ignorance.

It’s kind of ironic that a dishonest, conniving piece of shit like Trump would become the hero of the ultra-“Christians” — but it does sort of indicate what sort of Christians they really are.

CleverForAGirl
CleverForAGirl
4 years ago

@Kupo, Thank you, I just didn’t have the spoons.

NEE NAW IT'S THE PC POLICE
NEE NAW IT'S THE PC POLICE
4 years ago

Pretty sure the species from _The Time Machine_ are the Morlocks. Aren’t Murlocs from WoW?

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
4 years ago

Rant incoming:
Despise the want for everyone to be the same ‘race’. By white supremacists or, especially, by their detractors

For one thing, it don’t make much sense, biologically speaking. Dark skinned people are dark for a reason, ya know? So, such differences I don’t think will ever go away. For another, it acquiesces to ‘one drop rule’ bullshit. You can’t separate talk of ‘intermixing races’ from hypodescent, regardless of how ‘not racist’ one’s being while doing so. Speaking of icky implications, the looks of mixed people are scrutinized (negatively and ‘positively’) enough without their ‘caramel skin and good hair’ being treated like a Chosen One trait in trashy YA fiction

Most importantly, it potentially lets people off the hook from confronting racism. ‘Meh, it’ll solve itself once everyone interbreeds.’ Except no. At least in Murica, white people are the least likely to marry ‘outside’, so that don’t work into the plan real well. And why don’t they? Cos the racism that intermarriage is supposed to solve is the thing making intermarriage a poor solution! Cart before horse for a cart we shouldn’t even be striving for anyway

/rant

History Nerd
History Nerd
4 years ago

@Lea

Christian homeschooling really took off after Brown v. Board of Education. The religious angle allowed providers to hide behind the First Amendment, so the providing companies (usually) didn’t need to take non-white students and the curricula didn’t need to meet minimal educational standards (especially factual accuracy in science and history). A few courts ruled that states can’t require a private religious school to be accredited by the Department of Education to issue degrees.

I have a friend who was Christian homeschooled but rejected fundamentalism after he realized that people in the outside world are not evil. He did an accredited “College Ready” homeschool program that was basically high school plus 60 semester units of college and AP exams (though only the AP credits transfer over). The curriculum seems like it was designed to help people prepare for law school or medical school (it taught just enough evolution to pass AP Biology), but it also indoctrinated people into theocratic extremism.

On the other hand, many of the Christian unaccredited distance learning schools are basically degree mills. You can get an unaccredited Doctor of Naturopathy degree (legal because it’s a religious school) if you take a few science courses at a community college and complete a 6 month correspondence course. A few anti-vax celebrities have degrees like that.

Dormousing_it
Dormousing_it
4 years ago

I have no children of my own, but I’m deeply suspicious of homeschooling. How will children get the necessary socialization, and interaction with their peers?

Having said that, I think I can appreciate why at least some people go the homeschooling route. Some people where I live, their children were being hassled because they were Catholic. As if, any Catholic today had a hand in the Inquisition, or burnt someone at the stake.

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