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And the Incomprehensible Racist Gibberish award for this week goes to …

Once upon a time creepy white dudes tried to encourage women to GAIN weight

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By David Futrelle

The former-pickup-artist-turned-racist-shitgibbon James “Heartiste” Weidmann has long been a reliable producer of nearly incomprehensible gibberish. But he’s outdone himself with a little rant he recently appended to a post attacking a dude for coming to the defense of his overweight girlfriend online.

The gist of it, as far as I can tell, is that white dudes should continue fat shaming white women mercilessly, lest our glorious white race split in two. But somehow he makes this awful idea even awfuller by stretching it out over two gloriously incoherent paragraphs. You may need a stiff drink after reading this:

What we are witnessing is the rapid evolutionary split of White America into two racial classes, the El-Aloi (pure White and jewish-hybrid globorace) and the Mudlocks (LSMV fat White chicks slapping a saggital-headed horde of mystery meatballs from the comfort of their Walmart cruisers). Some argue this is best for the White race, because a culling of the dregs further purifies and focuses the minds of the milky cream at the top. I disagree. Allowing and even celebrating the racial jettisoning of our worst kin instead of resisting the broken society that encourages their defiant retreat into depravity will have upstream effects that will reverberate for generations, infecting every member of the race from bottom to top.

The best solution is ending the female obesity epidemic so that a vast blight-wing enstupidation doesn’t take hold in our homeland and despoil the natural beauty. Maybe the day will come when we have no choice but to sever ties with our unlucky kin and kith, but for now there’s still time left to ennoble our worst to aspire to something better. But it won’t happen if our currently operative noblesse malice isn’t replaced soon by a return to noblesse oblige.

Yes, he did just say that harassing white women about their weight is a form of noblesse oblige.

I’m sure he said even worse elsewhere in the rant, but with prose this terrible it’s hard to tell.

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DES
DES
4 years ago

Native French speaker here: wtf is “noblesse malice” supposed to mean? I suspect Barfiste doesn’t even know the actual meaning of “noblesse oblige”.

kiki
kiki
4 years ago

For the attention of Mr Weidmann:

I beg your indulgence, sirrah, but you appear to have some manner of lexicological tome – to wit, a compendium of synonyms and antonyms – lodged deep within your posterior fundament. I pray you will avail yourself of the services of a reputable physic, that he may attend to its extrication forthwith.

MissEB47 (Resident Rainbow Lorikeet and Beak Typist)
MissEB47 (Resident Rainbow Lorikeet and Beak Typist)
4 years ago

Axecalibur and Ooglyboggles-
Aaaawwwww. Thanks guys! ? It’s very good to be back. ?

Viscaria the Cheese Hog
Viscaria the Cheese Hog
4 years ago

@JS

“No white food” is meant to prevent cannibalism of the white race! or something.

Oh dear XD! It was more serious than I ever knew! And here I had thought it was just some obnoxious snotty rich person fad diet.

@ WWTH

There was a centipede in my bedroom again tonight.

Noooooooooooo

Hambeast, disorderly she-tornado and breaker of windows
Hambeast, disorderly she-tornado and breaker of windows
4 years ago

Sometimes I really miss the fat-o-sphere. It seemed to dissipate around 2011 or so after Kate Harding moved on from her wonderful blog Shapely Prose.

It was there I learned about Health at Every Size (HAES) and I’ve been working toward that ever since. Also, it was one of the few fat-o-sphere online spaces which didn’t tolerate the body-shaming of anyone, fat or thin. I think it might have had a bigger commentariat than Pharyngula, which was huge at the time.

Shapely Prose wasn’t solely a fat blog, though. It was the place where the Schrodinger’s Rapist essay was guest posted in 2009 and blew up the internets.

https://kateharding.net/2009/10/08/guest-blogger-starling-schrodinger%E2%80%99s-rapist-or-a-guy%E2%80%99s-guide-to-approaching-strange-women-without-being-maced/

dreemr
dreemr
4 years ago

@wwth – I’m with @cleverforagirl, you have to nuke the house from orbit.

Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

Apparently we should all be keeping caterpillars as pets (not convinced)…

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/commentisfree/2017/jul/11/cats-dogs-caterpillars-pets-butterflies

Newt
Newt
4 years ago

I found some cinnabar caterpillars while weeding the garden. Though they’re pretty (and the moths even more so), I’m content to leave them outside. Hopefully I didn’t just remove their food source.

Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

@ Newt

Hopefully I didn’t just remove their food source.

Yeah, I read in a book once they get very hungry.

opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
4 years ago

Good book, that. Very moreish.

Ledasmom
Ledasmom
4 years ago

Saw a tiger swallowtail and a black swallowtail on the zinnias at the park yesterday, along with miscellaneous small butterflies. I love watching them feed from flowers. Also many glorious dragonflies.
Once while camping with my mother we were in the middle of what I can only call a swallowtail-storm. There were literally thousands of them, just unbelievably many. We used to camp at altitude, a mile or so up, and I assume the shorter frost-free season makes for the greater number of butterflies at one time.

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
4 years ago

@MissEB47, welcome back <3

I think that little creepy crawlies are fascinating but I completely understand the squick factor. You may ask them to come to my house, I will set up some bug plants for them to munch on, if you don't want them around.

http://static1.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/4786934+_e8a67e3969b4bea3612441b9946b1e6a.png

Robert Walker-Smith
Robert Walker-Smith
4 years ago

My family is participating in a program organized by the local children’s hospital. Both my husband and the son who lives at home (he’s sixteen) have been diagnosed as prediabetic. The program, “Food as Medicine”, provides us with weekly deliveries of fresh vegetables and whole grain products, suggestions on how to use them, and guidelines on healthy portion control.

Last night we had big bowls of tofu and vegetable curry on rice noodles, with homemade flatbread. Alan Robertshaw, I thought of you – it was their first time having swede* and vegetable marrow in curry.

The goal isn’t swimsuit bodies, but not having to go on insulin. Apparently, potatoes are strongly discouraged, due to their high glycemic index. Rice, brown rice, lentils, quinoa – all good, but gosh do I miss potatoes. Our son has a summer internship at an urban farm, so he’s getting to be more active than he was during the school year.

Although I do almost all of the food preparation for the family, I’m the smallest one by both weight and volume. The doctor overseeing the program commented on my bloodwork that she wasn’t used to telling people that everything is within normal range.

*Known as rutabaga to USA people.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Most bugs don’t bother me. I actually even love spiders. But there’s something about centipedes that really bother me. Too many legs. So many creepy legs. They skitter. If you kill one, sometimes their legs separate from their body and keep moving on their own. And they’re a really ugly color too.

The only other thing that scares me are wasps because they’re aggressive and territorial. But they don’t give me that same visceral fear and disgust reaction that centipedes give.

When I finally got to sleep, I had centipede nightmares all night 🙁

Valentine
Valentine
4 years ago

I always lose weight when i am working because alcohol prohibit. Then i gain little bit back when i at home again because of drinking and good food and good sleep. I dont change anything else. Honestly i think i work harder in the gym at home because i can sleep longer than 5 hours so i have energy. But makes no difference. I always gain at home ? but you must accept your body does what is natural…i more afraid at sea when i become too skinny because that means i am stress.

History Nerd
History Nerd
4 years ago

As Taylor mentions in her article, the distinction between Multi-Level Marketing (MLM) and a pyramid scheme in US federal law is subtle. In MLM, people pay recruitment fees for the right to sell a product and make commission, as opposed to a normal sales job in which you don’t pay recruitment fees.

The (potential ableist slur)Watch* article Taylor links to goes into Ideal Health’s history before Trump’s association with it. Ideal Health apparently had a high degree of financial risk for distributors compared to other MLM companies. The company persuaded distributors to spend thousands of dollars (presumably in business loans) to make infomercials and broadcast them on local TV, but the infomercials failed to increase sales to cover the cost.

* I think the word means “fraud” in context, but some people associate it with mental illness. I don’t think Stephen Barrett is trying to demean people with mental illness.

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
4 years ago

Actually, there’s been a push over the last few years here in Toronto to plant milkweed to help bring back monarch butterflies, including some people who are providing milkweed seeds.

https://www.thestar.com/life/2014/04/04/plant_milkweed_and_save_the_monarch_butterflies.html

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
4 years ago

Area Man Complains About Feeeeemale “Obesity Epidemic” Using Bloated Prose Padded With Excessive Adjectives

I don’t generally mind bugs either, but I know what you mean about centipede legs, WWTH. There’s something about the busy, pulsing way they move that’s a little nauseating. I also get the heebie-jeebies when spiders have leg muscles.

The other day I saw what I think was a ginormous leech at a local frog pond. It was about 6 inches long, flat and transparent, with spots on the back, and casually undulated its way underneath the dock I was standing on. I couldn’t nope out of there fast enough.

Robert Walker-Smith
Robert Walker-Smith
4 years ago

There have been more butterflies here in Oakland California lately; it’s a lovely thing to see.
Years ago, I saw part of the monarch migration in San Francisco, out by Land’s End. Monarch butterflies are amazing up close; they look like tiny animals, instead of insects.

Yes, I know that insects are animals, but I hope my sentiment was intelligible.

(This is a good example of something I love about this place; we spin the sour, moldy straw of the OP into a golden discussion of healthful eating and the aesthetic merits of various insects).

opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
4 years ago

I am and have always been the designated spider-catcher (and putter-outerer using the pint glass and stiff paper method) in our household, and I’ve loved having the chance to hold a tarantula and hold snakes … but I’ve also been known to drop everything I was holding and make a less-than-dignified noise while jumping a mile when startled by a cockroach running over my hand. I suppose it all depends on how big/small and how fast and unexpected the Terrible Creature is 🙂

ChimericMind
ChimericMind
4 years ago

For the record on a question asked a bit ago: “Morlocks” are the original H.G. Wells creation. The “Murlocs” of WoW were fish people named in tribute to Wells, and incidentally became sort of mascot mooks for the series with several lovable, cute ones, turning the whole thing on its head.

PteroNychus
PteroNychus
4 years ago

“the El-Aloi…and the Mudlocks…”

*facepalm* Jesus Christ, he’s appropriating the species from The Time Machine for this crap.

I get the feeling he saw the movie from the 70s where the Eloi were lazy teenagers that just needed to be motivated. I haven’t seen the more recent adaptation but from what I have seen they at least kept the Murlocks backstory. The 70s version actually infuriated me with how oversimplified the morality was.

And I don’t think either keep the part where the time traveler keeps going into the future trying to see the end of the world. The Earth and other life just keep going and doing it’s own thing millions of years into the future. It just drives the point further that humans and human culture does not matter and the universe does not care. Maybe not quite an original idea these days but for a British person of that time period it’s kind of a slap to the face.

MissEB47 (Resident Rainbow Lorikeet and Beak Typist)
MissEB47 (Resident Rainbow Lorikeet and Beak Typist)
4 years ago

Scildfreja-Thanks! 😀

Kerlyssa
Kerlyssa
4 years ago

@Robert

Monarch butterflies remind me of lazy birds. They are so massive that their flapping doesn’t seem the flutter of a regular moth or butterfly, but more like the wing movement of a bird.

Ledasmom
Ledasmom
4 years ago

We have these lovely long-legged delicate spiders in our house, and I keep having to move them downstairs due to a husband who’s not a fan of the crawlies. I swear they’re trolling him now; I’ve found them by the toilet, on the bathroom sink and, just yesterday, hanging above the couch where he sits.

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