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Heartiste: Defeat Hillary by calling her male supporters “mincing betaboys”

Mad Magazine on Mad Max: Fury Road
Mad Magazine on Mad Max: Fury Road

I admit I probably write about pickup-artist-turned-alt-right-opinion-haver Heartiste a bit more often than he merits. But his combination of furious bigotry and purple prose is irresistible.

Consider his brilliant new plan to defeat Hillary Clinton by impugning the masculinity of her male supporters.

“All politics is gonadal,” he declares in a post on his blog today.

Given this reality, the most effective political persuasion techniques are those that evoke the ancient rhythms of the sexual market.

Rhythms?

Heartiste ‘s favorite “persuasion technique?” Calling people names in order to make them feel bad about themselves. In this particular case, he hopes to make Hillary’s male supporters so ashamed of their alleged betahood that they can’t bring themselves to actually vote.

[I]f sufficiently shamed and ostracized by effective [counterpropaganda] that leverages the power of anxiety over one’s sexual market status, many nominal males who plan to vote for Inmate Hillary can be dissuaded from exercising their right to notarize the featherweight class of their shrunken scrotes.

Yeah, I don’t know why he writes like that.

Much as virulent homophobia can force gays into the closet, Heartiste suggests, shaming male Hillary supporters as “manginas” will keep them from going to the polls.

Just as a healthy and strong society with rock-ribbed shitlord norms can keep gays far enough in the closet that their petri dish flamboyance doesn’t creep out the kids, so can a fearless embrace of immutable and omnipotent sexual market law — and the exploitation thereof — cow mincing betaboys from pulling the lever for thec*nt.

In case you’re having a little trouble parsing the end of that sentence — I had to reread it several times myself — he’s using “cow” as a verb. “Cow-mincing” isn’t a real thing, though perhaps it should be.

Also, thec*nt (with its “u” uncensored) is Heartiste’s favorite nickname for Hillary, though you probably figured that out already.

You may be wondering how exactly Heartiste’s brilliant new strategy differs from the traditional alt-right strategy of calling everyone “cucks.”

For one thing, it uses a greater number of words, castigating Hillary’s male fans as “nominal males,” “mincing betaboys,” and “f*ggy Millennial manlets with incipient bitch tits.” Obviously this is TOTALLY DIFFERENT than just calling them “cucks.”

Heartiste also suggests that his fans make use of a helpful visual aid in their efforts to shame the aforementioned “mincing betaboys” into non-voting. Namely. this little meme here.

heartistemadmaxmeme

The picture at the top of the meme is, as you’ve probably gathered, a still from Mad Max: Fury Road.

I’m guessing Heartiste has not seen the film.

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Thalia
Thalia
5 years ago

I will never understand why “shitlord” is supposed to be something to aspire to. Why would anyone call himself that?

Paradoxical Intention - Resident Cheeseburger Slut

Ariblester | November 4, 2016 at 3:04 am
Wait, so this guy is basically advocating negging Hillary supporters, even though by PUA evopsych BS it should only work on feeeemales because reasons.

Well, when all you have is a hammer…

My thoughts exactly.

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
5 years ago

“shitlord” == “society can’t handle me” is my best guess. It’s just another label for the age-old excuses of the self-martyred, letting them think their tantrums have some sort of nobility to them.

sillybill
sillybill
5 years ago

@Virgin Mary and Dalillama,
/history geek ON
and porphyry (which means purple in greek) was a purple rock, which was very strong and used for imperial building projects.
/history geek OFF

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
5 years ago

@Erik

what makes me the “beta” and him the “alpha”?

Well, certainly isn’t humility…

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
5 years ago

People who brag about being able to survive in the wilderness should just get off the computer and go survive somewhere else. The wilderness is right there, waiting for you to survive in it. Stop wasting time.

Hambeast
Hambeast
5 years ago

@Virgin Mary, Dalillama, and sillybill – The Tudor sumptuary laws also forbade the wearing of red, black, and teal colors as well as things like velvets and peacock feathers. I only know this because Husbeast and I do Ren Faires and if there’s a royal court present, they usually WILL let you know about it if you’re in violation! But only if you’re working the faire; patrons can wear whatever they want, of course.

The faires and festivals we tend to work have pretty chill royalty, though. One of them has a German Baron that presides instead of an Elizabethan court which is a hoot. He has a beer stein that must hold half a gallon that he carries around and yes, it contains beer!

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

I’m morbidly intrigued by the supposed taxonomy of males that these MRA types use. What are the criteria for being and alpha, beta etc.?

There are two major threads of alpha that I’ve noticed in the manosphere. The first is the evopsyche-based “alpha fucks, beta bucks” model, in which the “alpha” is the one who gets to have a bunch of sex outside a marriage arrangement and the beta is the one who then marries the woman and raises the alpha’s offspring. Alpha characteristics are therefore whatever the dude in question imagines lead to this result. Left unexplained is how the beta gene survives, given that it is grossly outcompeted by the alpha gene.

The second, and not mutually exclusive, thread is the old-style pop-psyche alpha personality vs. beta personality. The alpha personality is the aggressive, go-getting risk-taker, and the beta personality is not so much those things. This one also leans on the misogynist idea that women are the keepers of a society’s morality, such that society is intrinsically feminine. Alpha males, being super masculine risk-takers, reject this feminine social framework.

Between these two different ways of defining the alpha, you have a long menu of characteristics that can all be said to be alpha, some of which may be in conflict with one another. For instance, the alpha-fucks-beta-bucks model says that alpha men are physically impressive, because women are attracted to big strong guys, and they don’t have to be economically successful. By contrast, the alpha-personality model says that alpha men are attractive because their risk-taking makes them economically successful, and women are attracted to a display of resource gathering. So alpha can mean either poor or rich, and it can mean jerk-face or charismatic, it can mean physically big and strong or corporate boardroom, etc. etc. write in your own Mad Libs, really.

GrumpyOld SocialJusticeMangina
GrumpyOld SocialJusticeMangina
5 years ago

Beta = not sufficiently afraid of the danger of independent women.
Alpha = terrified of women who are not submissive.
Hmmmm.

Pseudonym
Pseudonym
5 years ago

If I didn’t spend so much time here, my natural assumption would be that “mincing betaboy” is a hip hop dance move.

msexceptiontotherule
msexceptiontotherule
5 years ago

I’m starting to think it’s all just about arriving at where they can openly blame their mother. Dad left (because she’s a shrew/pig/evil debil woman whatever) so he’s alpha and it’s all mom’s fault he’s gone. Dad stuck around hoping things would change but he’s been turned beta
(because she’s an evil debil woman/shrew/whatever) and it’s STILL all mom’s fault.

Still wondering about the efficiency of cow-mincing with a wood chipper though. If the plan is to eat any of said minced cow, probably should only use the non-pink-slime parts that people usually willingly consume, and maybe employ a salad shooter or food processor instead of heavy yardwork machinery.

What? Doesn’t everyone have strange things to keep them up at night pondering? C’mon, someone here has to ponder stuff even *stranger* than the cow-mincing!

Jules
Jules
5 years ago

Calling dudes outside your subculture insults that only make sense within that subculture is…not going to work.

Moocow
Moocow
5 years ago

Why yes, Trump supporters are a lot like the bad guys from Mad Max fury road.

Does that make Trump Imortan Joe?

@PolicyofMadness

Between these two different ways of defining the alpha, you have a long menu of characteristics that can all be said to be alpha, some of which may be in conflict with one another.

Here’s your mad-libs:

“If I was only [trait I envy in others] then women would be biologically favoring me! Not fair. Instead they are attracted to [trait I look down over]

Handsome "Punkle Stan" Jack

Also, most relevant @Handsome Jack: did you know that Doritos were actually invented at Disneyland by a Frito-Lay-backed restaurant that had too many tortillas?

That explains why they’re pure evil.

Except for cool ranch ones, especially the 3D ones.

Handsome "Punkle Stan" Jack

I think Jack was the first to bring it up? Idk, my memory is terrible these days

Yes, it was me. I brought it up because I wasn’t having a good day and I was really tired of it happening all the time. Because it happens a lot here.

But I also said I wouldn’t bring it up again. You guys can make fun of all the egg-shaped and small handed people all you want, I washed my hands of it.

Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
5 years ago

PoM, that’s an interesting analysis on the alpha/beta thing.

If I understand correctly, you’re saying that in model 1 alphas are by definition sexually attractive to women, having good looks or social skills or somesuch, and therefore can have sex without being married “providers”.

In model 2, alphas are supposed to be highly masculine, as in aggressively competitive and daring, maybe also intelligent or physically strong? Is this also framed as attractive to women, or is it more like masculinity for its own sake? Does the model assume that masculine men are generally successful, and therefore able to display wealth and social status?

If we assume that men displaying wealth and status are attractive to women, wouldn’t that be a specific case of model 1? Or maybe a separate, third model? Assuming model 2 isn’t about sexual appeal as such?

Am I overthinking this?

EJ (The Orphic Lizard)

@Arctic Ape:
Here’s my reading.

Among many people who subscribe to toxic masculinity, there is the unspoken notion that all coded-masculine traits correlate strongly enough that they can be considered the same trait. Wealth, sexual attractiveness, physical strength, genital size, intelligence, heterosexuality and other accidents of birth are merely signifiers of this “inherent manhood”, as are socialised traits like aggression, competitiveness, employability and so on.

This is of course absurd, but they believe in it.

(This is why such men will frequently make bizarre leaps of logic, saying that (for example) Daryush Valizadeh must be a wealthy man because of how many women he’s slept with, or suggesting that feminist men do not lift weights.)

Therefore, the men in PoM’s model 2 will be assumed by redpillers to be attractive to women, because it is impossible for a man who possesses other masculine traits not to possess that one.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

@Arctic Ape & EJ

The two models are not mutually exclusive, but do have some non-overlap. The afbb model assumes that it’s physical strength that makes women want to breed, while a display of resource gathering makes a woman want to marry so that her offspring (by the physically attractive alpha) will be cared for. The beta doesn’t get to breed, or at least not as much. The alpha doesn’t have to display resource gathering skills, and (in their descriptions of the “bad boys” that have stolen da wimmins from them) often doesn’t. Note that in this model, the men are often describing themselves as betas who have “woken up” and aren’t going to play the imaginary afbb game anymore.

The alpha-personality model presumes that the major alpha display is … resource gathering, which is the primary beta display in the afbb model. It’s under this model that Trump is said to be a alpha male. He certainly doesn’t fit the physically-fit bad boy biker archetype who is the alpha in the first model.

Despite the “alpha” having different characteristics in these two models, dudes in the manosphere seem to regularly elide them without realizing that this creates a self-contradictory state. Nevertheless, there is some gray area where the two models overlap, and where just about any male-presenting person who is even somewhat attractive in some way can be said to be an alpha.

Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
5 years ago

Ok, thanks. This issue can hardly be clarified more than that 🙂

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo

I always just figure that “alpha male” and “beta male” mean whatever a particular manospherian/alt-righter wants them to mean at any given moment. If the whine is about how he can’t get laid because women are evil bitches who only have sex with a small upper echelon of alpha males; then alpha male means socially adept jock who’s possibly also a “thug” aka black. When they want to blame female victims of ipv alpha male means dangerous or criminal and abuse is women’s fault for only being attracted to thug. In these cases, alpha male is a bad thing.

Sometimes though, alpha male is a good thing. This is when the manospherian/alt-righter is not whining about being oppressed but instead boasting about their (likely made up) accomplishments or when they are shaming men for not fitting into male gender norms or just not being sufficiently bigoted. Lately, this is more of the trendy view as the manosphere has become more and more synonymous with alt-right. Donald Trump is certainly facilitating this trend. The pendulum will likely swing back to the former view of the Greek hierarchy of manliness next time an “incel” goes on a shooting spree.

Jesalin
Jesalin
5 years ago

next time an “incel” goes

I haven’t looked this up yet but I’m usually pretty good at guessing what abbreviations and acronyms mean, and this one hit me last night (while I was refilling the sugar). So..does ‘incel’ mean something like ‘INvoluntary CELibate’?

Dalillama
5 years ago

@Jesalin
That’s it.

Jesalin
Jesalin
5 years ago

On the one hand ‘yay I was right’, on the other, ‘damn, that’s pathetic’.

Guts the Black Swordsman
Guts the Black Swordsman
5 years ago

Only in opposite land, does someone look up to the war boys in Mad Max and think they are super cool alphas. It’s like thinking an army of enemy kamikaze star trek redshirts are baddass(if that even existed lol). wtf…

Jesalin
Jesalin
5 years ago

Okay I’ve done a bit of reading and…I’d like to add repulsive, disturbing and disgusting to my previous ‘pathetic’.

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