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Heartiste: Defeat Hillary by calling her male supporters “mincing betaboys”

Mad Magazine on Mad Max: Fury Road
Mad Magazine on Mad Max: Fury Road

I admit I probably write about pickup-artist-turned-alt-right-opinion-haver Heartiste a bit more often than he merits. But his combination of furious bigotry and purple prose is irresistible.

Consider his brilliant new plan to defeat Hillary Clinton by impugning the masculinity of her male supporters.

“All politics is gonadal,” he declares in a post on his blog today.

Given this reality, the most effective political persuasion techniques are those that evoke the ancient rhythms of the sexual market.

Rhythms?

Heartiste ‘s favorite “persuasion technique?” Calling people names in order to make them feel bad about themselves. In this particular case, he hopes to make Hillary’s male supporters so ashamed of their alleged betahood that they can’t bring themselves to actually vote.

[I]f sufficiently shamed and ostracized by effective [counterpropaganda] that leverages the power of anxiety over one’s sexual market status, many nominal males who plan to vote for Inmate Hillary can be dissuaded from exercising their right to notarize the featherweight class of their shrunken scrotes.

Yeah, I don’t know why he writes like that.

Much as virulent homophobia can force gays into the closet, Heartiste suggests, shaming male Hillary supporters as “manginas” will keep them from going to the polls.

Just as a healthy and strong society with rock-ribbed shitlord norms can keep gays far enough in the closet that their petri dish flamboyance doesn’t creep out the kids, so can a fearless embrace of immutable and omnipotent sexual market law — and the exploitation thereof — cow mincing betaboys from pulling the lever for thec*nt.

In case you’re having a little trouble parsing the end of that sentence — I had to reread it several times myself — he’s using “cow” as a verb. “Cow-mincing” isn’t a real thing, though perhaps it should be.

Also, thec*nt (with its “u” uncensored) is Heartiste’s favorite nickname for Hillary, though you probably figured that out already.

You may be wondering how exactly Heartiste’s brilliant new strategy differs from the traditional alt-right strategy of calling everyone “cucks.”

For one thing, it uses a greater number of words, castigating Hillary’s male fans as “nominal males,” “mincing betaboys,” and “f*ggy Millennial manlets with incipient bitch tits.” Obviously this is TOTALLY DIFFERENT than just calling them “cucks.”

Heartiste also suggests that his fans make use of a helpful visual aid in their efforts to shame the aforementioned “mincing betaboys” into non-voting. Namely. this little meme here.

heartistemadmaxmeme

The picture at the top of the meme is, as you’ve probably gathered, a still from Mad Max: Fury Road.

I’m guessing Heartiste has not seen the film.

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Mels
Mels
5 years ago

Imperator Hillarosa.

please can we make this a thing

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
5 years ago
Rabukurafuto
Rabukurafuto
5 years ago

In case you’re having a little trouble parsing the end of that sentence — I had to reread it several times myself — he’s using “cow” as a verb. “Cow-mincing” isn’t a real thing, though perhaps it should be.

Not to defend a shitbag like Roosh, but “cow” is indeed a verb. He means to intimidate men from voting for Clinton. When it comes to intimidation though, Roosh isn’t going to be particularly successful no matter how insulting he gets.

Frigid Virgin (hey, I'm trying to stop global warming over here, what's your excuse?)
Frigid Virgin (hey, I'm trying to stop global warming over here, what's your excuse?)
5 years ago

Would it kill these people to write things that might make sense, instead of just throwing overly fancy words all over everything in an attempt to sound sophisticated? Not everyone is a native English speaker, I’ll have you know! Have a heart, Heartiste!

@ Axe: But surely the threat of shrunken scrotes would have you running to Trump? After all, there can be no greater insult than an insult to a man’s most manly manhood. Or something. (Admittedly, I’m not a man, so I could be wrong.)

Also: Shrunken scrotes.

http://static3.fjcdn.com/comments/Blank+_57a3edf35885b6cebeb9b2a97b351e03.jpg

Ah, I feel better now.

EJ (The Orphic Lizard)

Oh no, a racist rapist called me a made-up bad word! Whatever shall I do?

http://m.quickmeme.com/img/a8/a8bd3fee10fe8194d98a2f8bbb5c66a3cafa23966650442178e73c9f3dacb982.jpg

Ray of Rays
Ray of Rays
5 years ago

Would it kill these people to write things that might make sense, instead of just throwing overly fancy words all over everything in an attempt to sound sophisticated? Not everyone is a native English speaker, I’ll have you know! Have a heart, Heartiste!

(A look into MRA/PUA thought processes)

“Hmm…overly elaborate language is called ‘purple prose.’ And purple is the color of royalty!”

*writes dense, impenetrable screed, never using one word where three will do*

“NOW, EVERYONE WORSHIP ME AS THE GODLY PRINCE AMONG MEN I AM!”

Dalillama
5 years ago

@Frigid Virgin
Your English skills are not at fault. It really makes that little sense.

Friendly Neighborhood Dragon Arthur
Friendly Neighborhood Dragon Arthur
5 years ago

I’m not sure what’s worse, Heartsie’s empty threats, or the way he insults the English language with his horrible use of words.

Also, this is how I assume most Clinton voters will be going off to vote…

http://s3.amazonaws.com/content.sitezoogle.com/u/165451/cd32fca4675cf56b97b228ea58f0db2bf37af861/original/hippies-on-a-hippie-bus.jpg?0

Where as this how Trump voters will roll…

http://www.wreckedexotics.com/blog/images/mate_911.jpg

reimalebario
reimalebario
5 years ago

Gonadal?

Rabukurafuto
Rabukurafuto
5 years ago

David Futrelle
November 4, 2016 at 12:29 am
Rabukurafuto, I didn’t mean to suggest “cow” can’t be used as a verb. It’s just that it took me a second to realize that was how he was using it, and that he wasn’t referring to something called “cow-mincing,” which (for me at least) conjured up images of cows walking daintily on their hind legs.

Ah, sorry for the mistake.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
5 years ago

@Frigid

But surely the threat of shrunken scrotes would have you running to Trump?

Ha! Smaller ‘scrote’ or fascist President? Tough choice /s

Besides, it’s better than Trump’s shrunken hands…

MissEB47 (Resident Rainbow Lorikeet and Beak Typist)
MissEB47 (Resident Rainbow Lorikeet and Beak Typist)
5 years ago

Mels-

Yeah! We must totally make Imperator Hillarosa a thing! That woman is a true warrior, a hero in American politics. She is so strong for dealing with all that sexist crap she has been given, especially recently. She is an inspiration. She will make a great president (and a great Imperator. :D)

Ariblester
5 years ago

Wait, so this guy is basically advocating negging Hillary supporters, even though by PUA evopsych BS it should only work on feeeemales because reasons.

Well, when all you have is a hammer…

Frigid Virgin (hey, I'm trying to stop global warming over here, what's your excuse?)
Frigid Virgin (hey, I'm trying to stop global warming over here, what's your excuse?)
5 years ago

@ Ray of Rays: Ah. That makes sense. Wait, purple is the colour of royalty? Since when? Last I heard, they were blue-bloods. I am clearly not up-to-date on colour theory.

@ Dalillama: Thank you so much. That honestly made me feel better.

@ Axe: … Yeah, you’re right. And thanks ever so for the mental image.
comment image

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
5 years ago

@Axe

it’s better than Trump’s shrunken hands…

Believe me when I say I am not trying to start a new argument about this, but I feel compelled to point out that this is why I was surprised that my egghead comment made you and others so upset.

Croquembouche of patriarchy
Croquembouche of patriarchy
5 years ago

@ wwth –

What does petri dish flamboyance even mean?

Well, I doubt it’s what He-artiste meant, but:
There’s a long history of microbiologists painting agar in petri dishes with bacterial solutions and incubating them till the bacteria grow to visibility, just for seasonal funsies. comment image
There’s even art contests.
http://www.livescience.com/52547-microbiology-agar-art-photos.html
But the most flamboyant petri dish display I’ve seen so far has been this:

Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
5 years ago

My best guess is that the petri dish thing was a joke conflating “gay culture” with bacterial cultures. It doesn’t really make sense but it sounds dismissive and mildly witty and associates gays with bacteria, which most people associate with disease.

Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
5 years ago

Yeah! We must totally make Imperator Hillarosa a thing!

Should that be “Imperatrix”? Or did they deliberately use masculine form in the movie title?

Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
5 years ago

The last time we were mocking Heartiste’s language, I thought to make some quip about the famous nonsense phrase “colorless green ideas sleep furiously”. Then it occurred to me that it actually works really well.

“Corporate symbols of the Left cuck furiously” indeed.

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
5 years ago

Update on the bunny we found a while back. Animal Protection have now put it on their website with a picture. Plot twist: Leila is a non-neutered BOY.

http://www.djurskydd.nu/upphittade-djur/smadjur/

ramen
ramen
5 years ago

what do you see

-big rigs

-pole cats

-flamers

-and there’s the people-eater himself

COMING TO COUNT THE COST

sliami
sliami
5 years ago

@ petal: gender nonconforming bun?

btw. this dude? is so wack. those like him? also wack. i’m so happy that us teens will outlive these dorks. and then, of course, deal with their protégés.

but, no big.

every generation, the screams of the dinosaurs get a little fainter.

YAY CUBS.

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
5 years ago

@sliami

This happens often with us. We found the bunny outside and just assumed it was a girl. We made a deal with Animal Protection that the bunny will continue to be known as Leila even if it should turn out it’s a boy.

When we got our first cat, the previous owners said it was a boy. We named him Desmond. Then we realized she’s a girl. She’ll always be Desmond though!

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