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Return of Kings imagines our dystopian “sexual future” and it’s hilarious

The sexual future that scares Return of Kings readers the most

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Oh dear. Apparently the women of the western world are having a lot of sex. And we all know where that leads, right? THE END OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION.

Over on Roosh’s equally horrifying and risible Return of Kings, Max Roscoe (a self-described  “aspiring philosopher king”) sets forth his vision of our apocalyptic “sexual future.”

Already deeply enmeshed in a world of “financial insolvency, moral weakness, social instability, destruction of the traditional family, and political corruption,” Roscoe warns we are edging ever closer to some sort of Mad Max future, only with much fatter women.

Expect a world in which we have

fewer freedoms, less economic opportunity, a weaker currency, a declining moral compass, more hypergamy, slut acceptance, and the pervasiveness of masculine, tattooed up, large, bossy women.  

Even worse, Roscoe warns:

If the trends of feminism continue, society faces a future with loud, shrill, fat, manly, neon colored, sexualized women full of shrapnel and graffiti.

Wait, didn’t you just say that already? Apparently our dystopian future won’t have copy editors.

And it will be a world in which piercings are referred to as “shrapnel,” tattoos as “graffiti.”

Anyway, after warning us about these brightly colored, shrapnel-filled fatties — who bear more that a little bit of a resemblance to the contemporary feminist stereotypes I wrote about in my last post — Roscoe paints a picture of today’s sexual landscape, filled with young women who

are so free and loose with their bodies that they become physically aged and degraded, not to mention losing the ability to pair bond with a life partner.

Yep, Red Pill “science” has proven that when women have contact with more than one penis in their lifetime it turns them into a sort of female version of Dorian Gray, only without that painting in the attic. Meanwhile, men who sleep with lots of women remain eternally young.

If you meet a 25-year-old woman today, she has likely performed more degrading and perverse sex acts than a married woman of a generation or two prior completed in her entire lifetime. If we consider the cases of sexting, camwhoring, slutification, Dubai-whoring, pre-marital sex, lack of shame or self confidence, and project a few generations in the future, we have a very scary society.

If women don’t watch out, Roscoe warns, they could well end up “sexually used up, perhaps before even reaching their teenage years.”

Uh, before they hit the age of thirteen!?

These guys spend way too much of their time thinking about 12-year-olds having sex.

In this dystopian future, all these sex-having people may end up forgetting what gender they are.

Indeed, what do the sexes even mean at that point? Will we see an increase in trannies and gay sex and things that even today are too taboo? Bestiality? If it’s only about the physical orgasm, then it seems these would do the job as well. Forming a family will be impossible.

I dunno, this guy and his dog bride seem to be making it work (and by “making it work” I mean they managed to get their man-dog wedding covered by the Daily Mail).

Not exactly a designer wedding dress there.
Not exactly a designer wedding dress there.

Roscoe, who sadly offers no opinions about man-dog weddings, worries that if current sexy trends continue the human race will either stop making babies, or will be transformed into

a matriarchal system where the government, forced to provide things a husband typically would, must rely on the labors of men to obtain resources needed to replace the missing husbands.

So in conclusion, women better let dudes like Roscoe and Roosh boss them around, or we’ll go back to being monkeys, or something.

The bottom line is that if women do not have their actions and behaviors controlled by men, then it is no exaggeration to say that we are facing the end of civilized society. Masculinity is the natural state of affairs throughout history. We are only attempting to reset things to their natural order, before feminism literally turns us until [sic] animals again.

Animals, you say? Wall of Voodoo had some interesting thoughts on what might happen if we all suddenly turned into animals. And frankly, this song makes more sense than any of Roscoe’s weird and creepy speculations.

 

 

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mildlymagnificent
mildlymagnificent
6 years ago

Notice how it’s the current generation of women aged 25. Previous generations (mine and older) are purer than the driven snow and have only ever had one cock in their lives.

That. Is. Absolutely. True.

I’m almost 69 and I never, never, never did that sex thing with anyone I wasn’t married to. Ever.

Not me Nosirree. Aaaand I don’t know anyone who did, either. That would be terrahorrible and I’d have to not speak to them ever again. Never.

proudfootz
6 years ago

@ weirwoodtreehugger

I figured it’s probably already been done – it seems to suggest itself anytime the enslavement of people, animals, or sentient machines becomes a topic.

Orion
6 years ago

Recent generations are actually having fewer sex partners and starting later in life. The tendency to start later is probably caused by better sex ed, better respect for consent, scarier STIs, and easier access to pornography.

The fewer partners is harder to explain. One theory is that reduced shame over casual sex actually cuts down on total partners. The argument is that past generations had more one night stands, because they were ashamed to be around someone they’d hooked up with, or because they weren’t comfortable in a gray area between anonymity and commitment. Being less uptight about sex may actually encourage repeated business and replace barroom pickup with stable FWB arrangements.

Leah3
Leah3
6 years ago

@ Orion

Excellent point.

poglodyte
poglodyte
6 years ago

What this philosopher king doesn’t realize is that the future is almost here. We’ve been pumping shrapnel into people since at least the 19th century, and graffiti was around long before femenizms appropriated it and applied it to bodies.

Scientists have also made huge advances in creating animals that can glow in the dark; surely filling humans with neon gas can’t be that far away.

Matriarchy, though? Well, a society can dream…

occasional reader
occasional reader
6 years ago

Hello.

It really shows what they think of men when a girl or woman is “corrupted” by having lots of sex with men/even touching a penis. (Except theirs, of course.)

Then i hope for them not to have to undergo some kinf of operation in hospital, else they are going to have their twig touch by the evilz filthy nurses of DOOM, first when they must be shaven here, and if their physical condition do not allow them to go freely to the toilets (broken arms, anyone ?), when they have to pee. Do not begin to fantasize : they are not like in the last cosplay porn you saw, you are certainly not the first twig they touch, and yes, they are pretty bored to here the “usual” : “Sorry if my dick is too large for the bean” (sorry, i do not know the english term for the plastic or glass tool used to pee while staying on the bed), because yeah, here too, you are not the first.

Indeed, what do the sexes even mean at that point? Will we see an increase in trannies and gay sex and things that even today are too taboo? Bestiality? If it’s only about the physical orgasm, then it seems these would do the job as well. Forming a family will be impossible.

What about your hand ? Why, when thinking about orgasm without a woman, your first thoughts are for trans peoples, homo peoples, then animals ? Does spanking the monkey also going to make the civilization crumbles ?

Have a nice day.

Kularanini
Kularanini
6 years ago

If you meet a 25-year-old woman today, she has likely performed more degrading and perverse sex acts than a married woman of a generation or two prior completed in her entire lifetime.

‘Completed’ is a strange choice of words. It sounds like he views sex as task.

My to do list for March:

1. Finish tax return
2. Call plumber for leaky bathroom faucet
3. Complete 3 full sessions of degrading and perverse sex acts
4. Clean out attic

Moggie
Moggie
6 years ago

poglodyte:

Scientists have also made huge advances in creating animals that can glow in the dark; surely filling humans with neon gas can’t be that far away.

I find it impossible to read this without hearing it in Cave Johnson’s voice.

opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
6 years ago

Kularanini, that’s a lot to get through in a single month. Why, a tax return alone can take considerably longer than that, if properly procrastinated, postponed, fussed and fretted over! You must be amazingly efficient if you can fit in even one full session of degrading and perverse sex acts on top of the tax return and the plumber in that time, let alone getting up to the attic as well 😉

EJ (The Other One)
6 years ago

Filling humans with neon is easy. Getting those humans to survive the experience, now that’s the trick.

(I am led to believe that bioluminescence is also one of the easier tricks to do, but I am not a biologist and cannot speak authoritatively here.)

Michael P
Michael P
6 years ago

“If you meet a 25-year-old woman today, she has likely performed more degrading and perverse sex acts than a married woman of a generation or two prior completed in her entire lifetime.”

And God bless them for it.

Witch of Endor
Witch of Endor
6 years ago

In a supreme moment of musical serendipity, the moment I clicked on this article ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’ came up on shuffle.

Harri Karri
Harri Karri
6 years ago

Can’t men write articles because it’s what they actually believe?

Oh, I think they believe what they’re writing – which in itself is hard to believe. There are also sub agendas. Like trolling for attention.

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