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Aurini: Seeing Star Wars: The Force Awakens “is the equivalent of auto-castration”

Davis Aurini: He's a cowboy now
Davis Aurini: He’s a cowboy now

If you’re wondering what the racist cowboy cosplayer who’s also possibly the world’s worst filmmaker thinks of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, wait no longer!

Davis Aurini has given the film two burning crosses down — way down!

Aurini, the fake-skull-loving former Anton LaVey impersonator who now favors a sort of effete cowboy look, argues in an interminable “review” that J.J. Abrams’ contribution to the Star Wars franchise is essentially a hate letter to white men.

“Listen up, White Man,” Aurini proclaims.

J.J. Abrams hates you.  He relishes the thought of your extinction as he looks forward to a multi-culti matriarchy where instead of studying math and sciences, everyone sits around discussing their feelings. 

Aurini, a self-declared “huge white nationalist on paper,” also claims that the film is an insult to black men as well.

As for you, Black Man, he doesn’t want your extinction – you get to prance about doing monkey shine, so long as you obey your white, feminist overlords.

For anyone sporting testicles, Aurini suggests. “[p]aying money to see [Abrams’] film is the equivalent of auto-castration.”

Aurini makes a brief attempt at an actual movie review, declaring the film “derivative and copacetic.” (Apparently he’s unaware that “copacetic” means “excellent.”)  But he quickly returns to his main theme:

The underlying message of the movie is that men – and White men in particular – are useless, destructive, failures, who need to get out of the way so that society can finally progress.

Aurini is angry that Daisy Ridley’s Rey — whom he refers to dismissively as “Feminist Skywalker” — has the talents and skills one might expect from a main character in an action flick, even though she’s “an orphan with no finances or support structure.”

Making things worse, Aurini argues, the white guys left over from the first Star Wars trilogy have become a couple of creepy degenerates. Former interstellar wunderkind Luke Skywalker has become a “fat, burn-out, pervert,” while Han Solo is “a burned-up divorcee” who “dresses like a teenager” and probably has a thing for high school girls.

Perhaps confusing Solo with the skeezy ephebophile pickup artists who surround him in the manosphere today, Aurini perplexingly declares that

you can easily imagine him and Chewie making sexually-suggestive remarks to the sixteen year old girl working at the McDonalds drive through

Apparently there are McDonalds franchises in galaxys long-ago and far, far away.

But the true source of Aurini’s ire is, you guessed it, John Boyega’s Finn.

Indeed, Aurini is evidently so worked up at the very thought of a black male lead in a Star Wars film that he is unable to even say Finn’s name, referring to him instead as “Mace Dindu,” the racist nickname he’s been given by the white supremacists of the internet. (Mace Windu, you may recall, was the name of Samuel L. Jackson’s character in the Star Wars prequels. “Dindu” is a recently invented racial slur.)

Aurini not only doesn’t use Finn’s name; he claims, bizarrely, that he doesn’t even know what it is.

I tried to google the character name, but even the websites decrying all of the rassism still referred to him as the “Black Stormtrooper.”

Either this is a weird, failed joke on Aurini’s part, or he genuinely can’t figure out how to look up character names on IMDb.

Aurini, like so many of his white supremacist pals, is convinced that The Force Awakens is really all about — you guessed it — the symbolic cuckolding of white men. The “Black Stormtrooper” is, as Aurini sees it, also a “Black Bull” playing out his role in a racist, sexual psychodrama engineered by “Feminist Skywalker.”

In Aurini’s eyes, Finn is a “coward” who only

nuts up and fights Not Darth Vader is because he got the scent [of] Feminist Skywalker’s White Pussy into his nose-

-and the first rule for being a Black Bull is that she makes the rules.  Grunt for her, monkey boy: the Cuck’s all Ego, and you’re nothing but Id.  The female Superego is your true master.

Yeah, it’s pretty ugly inside Aurini’s brain.

Aurini ends his review with a long, muddled, and more or less completely gratuitous attack on feminism and affirmative action and what he sees as “the sickness infesting our civilization.”

After declaring The Force Awakens to be “metaphorical for affirmative action, both the direct and indirect forms,” Aurini manages to accidentally reveal that it’s he, not Han Solo, who’s still got a bit of a thing for 16-year-old McDonald’s cashiers. Like countless “nice guy” Redditors before him, Aurini wants to let every mean girl who’s ever rejected him that she’s not all that anyway so there.

Women in today’s society graduate High School endowed with physical beauty, they enter a work environment with pro-female hiring quotas, they enjoy financial subsidies for schooling, are less likely to be harassed by the legal system, and the culture at large believes them to be naturally virtuous, hard working, and intelligent … .

But, really, it’s men who deserve all the credit for hunting the mammoth, literally and figuratively

The reality is that civilization is a result of men’s labour – technological progress has come from men’s inventions – even social advancement has come from men of great wisdom. The occasional female inventor or philosopher is thrown up to deny the truth of this, but even then you find that they are always – without exception – submissive towards masculinity. … 

Feminists have never – and will never – accomplish anything of worth, because they reject the masculine principle; the women of the greatest accomplishments are those who’ve submitted to it.

All this from a cowboy-hat-wearing pretend alpha male who’s apparently so inept at life that he can’t figure out the name of one of the main characters in the movie he’s ostensibly reviewing.

Growing more pretentious by the sentence, Aurini declares that

J.J. Abrams preternatural fantasies about female superiors are nothing more than the symptoms of a boy whose development was arrested at an early stage.  He longs for the safety of mommy’s apron strings, the pre-sexual intimacy of suckling at a milky teat …

His world of gender-fluidity sells itself as freedom, but it is anything but; what he sells you is slavery, to your lusts, to your hungers, to your weaknesses, to the governments and to the corporations. …

It’s time for all of us to find something worth living for, and to cast down the broken people who are held forth as idols.

So I guess there won’t be any Force Awakens figurines nestling on Aurini’s bookshelves alongside his toy skull McCarther.

 

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Olive O'Sudden
Olive O'Sudden
6 years ago

Is that a recent picture of Aurini in the cowboy hat and his dad’s suit?

Lkeke35
Lkeke35
6 years ago

I think they should definitely get some WoC in the movies. Women who aren’t covered in special effects, btw. Some Latinas and Asian women being heroic would be awesome. (But that’s just my personal agenda, ya know.)

Kat
Kat
6 years ago

So Davis Aurini’s confidence in his own masculinity is threatened by a movie?!

A movie that he apparently hasn’t even seen?!

Dude, get a grip.

Kat
Kat
6 years ago

@kupo

He’s being dismissive about the restaurant, and I feel like I’m playing Russian roulette with my small intestine every time I eat.

I’m so sorry that things aren’t going well with regard to your body’s extremely legitimate needs. I’m sending you positive energy. Stay strong and remember that you have a right to eat food that is good for your particular body.

sevenofmine
sevenofmine
6 years ago

“Feminists want everyone to stop studying math and science and sit around talking about feelings. This is a Very Bad Thing. By the way, let me expound at great length upon my breathtakingly bigoted feelings about this movie I just saw.”

msexceptiontotherule
msexceptiontotherule
6 years ago

“My folks bought me a bitchin’ Camaro
With no insurance to match
So if I happen to run you down
Please don’t leave a scratch

I ran over some old lady
One night at the county fair
And I didn’t get arrested
Because my dad’s the mayor

Bitchin’ Camaro, bitchin’ Camaro
Donuts on your lawn
Bitchin’ Camaro, bitchin’ Camaro
Tony Orlando and Dawn

When I drive past the kids
They all spit and cuss
‘Cause I’ve got a bitchin’ Camaro
And they have to ride the bus

So you’d better get out of my way
When I come through your yard
‘Cause I’ve got a bitchin’ Camaro
And an Exxon credit card

Bitchin’ Camaro, bitchin’ Camaro
Hey man where ya headed?
Bitchin’ Camaro, bitchin’ Camaro
I don’t want unleaded”

Sorry, that’s totally all I can think of after reading the “space camaro” bit

kupo
kupo
6 years ago

@Kat
Thanks, I appreciate the support.

Dreamer
Dreamer
6 years ago

Sometimes I read this stuff and wonder what mental alternative universe these haters live in . . . .

DreadFluffyRises
DreadFluffyRises
6 years ago

Apologies if it’s been asked, but how exactly does one castrate an auto?

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
6 years ago

@DreadFluffyRises

Take a pair of bolt cutters to its Truck Nutz.

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

I hope people who like the movie seek out Attack the Block to watch John Boyega in it. Because that’s a fucking awesome movie.

Kat
Kat
6 years ago

My cat, who has no balls, is highly secure in his masculinity.

And he doesn’t need some pick-up artist to tell him how to chase girls. In his case, “chasing girls” (girl cats, that is) is no metaphor. I’m not saying he’s ever successful. But he’s got his mother (that’s me) interfering with his game.

How many PUAs operate with such a disadvantage?

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
6 years ago

“I just call Kylo Ren “Baby Vader” or “Vader Jr.” these days, because that’s basically his character.”

I disagree. I like Kylo Ren, but he don’t look like Darth Vader.

(SPOILER)

Kylo Ren is an insecure man, who try to hide who he is really to look more tough. He is a good approximation of an MRA in fact.

While Dark Vador is calm, know what he do, and never let people get that he is angry. When he is still Anakin Skywalker, he is a lot less calm, but he is still very confident, and have another kind of wrath entirely : Kylo look like a teenager when he destroy furnitures, while Anakin is actually a chilling killer.

All in all, Darth Vader look like the archetype of a serial killer, but in a way that I am not sure actually exist. Kylo Ren look like the violent uncle of the family, and AFAICT, he look like a realistic mass shooter type.

rugbyyogi
rugbyyogi
6 years ago

Hurray! I see we can now do spoilers!!!

So…spoiler alert:

OK the one thing I agree with Aurini about (but probably not for the same reasons) is the lack of credibility about Rey’s incredible competence. For me this was a major, major problem in the first of the Star Wars prequels when Anakin as wee little kid was this incredible pilot, the Rey character isn’t quite as bad given she’s a young adult and not quite so ridiculously, magically competent. But she’s still pretty bad-ass in very complicated ways without any real reason. OK, yes, the force is strong in this one and all that, but in the very first film, Luke had to do some ACTUAL WORK to get in touch with his skills and talents. Yes, yes, they seem to be an amazing family of pilots (I’m sure Rey will turn out to be kin somehow.) But anyway she was less annoyingly skilled than Anakin, but more so than Luke.

OK, that was just bugging me.

Also, if you know the whole galaxy is looking for a particular orange and white robot, why didn’t you just leave it on the ship or repaint it rather than bringing it down the pub?

Kootiepatra
Kootiepatra
6 years ago

One thing I liked about Phasma (as well as that one unnamed storm trooper) being female is that it challenges the viewer assumption that faceless, non-obviously boobed space armor must mean that the wearer of said armor is male. It makes you realize that you don’t know how many mooks you’ve already watched might have been women themselves. Shoot, anyone buried under layers of plate armor and a helmet could be any gender, because everyone looks very much the same when they’re buried under layers of plate armor.

It also cuts the legs out from any potential tropey, “But you’re a giIIIRRRLLL” dynamics in combat. Female storm troopers are A Thing, and apparently not a remarkable thing. The men don’t go easy on their opponent if she is a woman. Anyone fighting a woman expects her to be reasonably skilled and dangerous with whatever weapon she’s wielding.

Getting female heroes is good and important, but getting women visibly into the background noise of the extras–the crowds, the control rooms, the rank and file soldiers–is also good.

Though I definitely agree with Lkeke35; having WoC who aren’t digitized beyond recognition would be very, very good. As much as I loved Lupita Nyong’o’s character, and I felt like they did a good job of creating a well-rounded, respected, intelligent character (and the CGI was amazing)–I did wish that we could have had the human actress herself. Holding out hope for an in-the-flesh WoC to step in for the next two episodes.

Vanir85
Vanir85
6 years ago

I disagree. I like Kylo Ren, but he don’t look like Darth Vader.

– Ohlmann

Yeh. Really liked Kylo Ren as a villain.

I will try to be vague, but still:
-WARNING: POSSIBLY SPOILER-ISH MATERIAL BELOW-

My thoughts on this:

Vader (originally) was a force of darkness as much as a person. He was the cloaked Black Knight, the faceless mask of the fascist machine that was the Empire – an evil unknown and unknowable – “as much machine as man”.

Kylo Ren is the villain we know. He is all over the manosphere. He can frequently be encountered in almost any comment field. We see his face on the news after mass shootings. He is the evil of our time. An evil with no mystique or allure. Petty, loathsome, unhinged; and yet incredibly destructive.

So yea. Kylo Ren is no mystery. He is insecure and filled with rage. He believes he deserves privilege and status because of what he is, and so he violently rejects the earlier generation and the equality and liberty they fought for. He embraces – and is manipulated by – a dark ideology best left forgotten.

He is completely believable. This is a “bad guy” that very much already exists in the real world. Just add force powers, and voila. Sith Lord.

And that IS scary.

Moocow
Moocow
6 years ago

I got to see it the other day and holy shit it was everything I was hoping it would be! I can definitely agree with Rey having a few too many improbable skills.

Getting female heroes is good and important, but getting women visibly into the background noise of the extras–the crowds, the control rooms, the rank and file soldiers–is also good.

Agreed, and that’s often overlooked. I’d say it’s just as important. Also, a feeeeeemale soldier with no boobplate! Yay!

@Lkeke35

Mako Mori is the only one that comes to mind, we need more characters like her (especially since she was sparing on equal footing with the white male lead). Hopefully, The Force Awakens will convince Hollywood directors to make more stories starring PoC and women.

WARNING, NOTHING BUT SPOILERS about TFA TO FOLLOW

must

add

extra

space

I actually really like what they did with Kylo Ren. I was worried he’d be Vader 2.0, but istead he’s ‘wannabe vader’. It’s a brilliant subversion because he so desperately wants to be like his grand father (to the point of donning an unnecessary ‘dark helmet’) but he also fails spectacularly at being vader. He’s not as intimidating, there’s deliberatly no secret about his identity this time. The film also highlights his incompetence (petty rage fits, actually loses the light saber duel, makes bad strategic decisions and gets rightfully called out for it), so they get to re-use all the vader tropes without it being played out. It will be interesting to see how he plays out (will he be another Prince Zuko, or will he turn into a force to be feared? or both?)

My only criticism for the film is that it got a little too ridiculous with the ‘obvious referencing of Star Wars: A new hope’ tropes. Granted, they were all switched around and some of the subversions worked really well (i.e. Luke is a farmer boy who dreams of escaping his dustbowl planet to participate in greater things. Rey is a scavenger who runs away from participating in greater things, finding excuses to remain on her dustbowl planet) but once the X wings started going through the trench to take out the “weak point” of the ‘death sta-I mean planet’, I couldn’t help but roll my eyes a little. Fortunately it was only at the very end of that fight, and so it was still relatively subtle.

Death Planet, however, was anything but subtle. And apparently the characters even felt the need to say ‘no really ppl, this is literally just like the time we took on the death star but even bigger‘. It has to make me wonder, what the hell is the republic doing while their enemies go around building planetary death machines? After the threat of the Death Star, you’d think they learned there lesson. If the next film begins with a Rebellion base on a lava planet attacked by First Order’s gigantic 8-legged walking spider tanks, then I will probably laugh my ass off.

The constant references/nods to original starwars also made things a bit predictable. The minute Kylo Ren mentions ‘feeling’ his father’s presence, I was like “oh geez! Looks like we’re gonna be losing an important mentor figure on this adventure!” Once Kylo Ren was on to that conveniently dangerous bridge, I was like “RIP [insert name of mentor figure], you shall be missed”. I wasn’t about to believe for a second that he would suddenly become good, but it was still a nice scene, even if I could see it coming from a mile away.

Fortunately, JJ really did a lot of cool stuff of his own that wasn’t at all part of the original film (and kinda-sorta brought stuff from the book series, which was nice). Namely, everything related to Finn is a sweet new addition. I loved learning more about the Storm Troopers, I loved the slight reference to the clones, I love that there’s apparently a rule that Stormtroopers must wear a helmet at all times unless explicitly told to remove it, and overall the Storm Troopers felt like a much more threatening presence than they were in the original series.

intentional

elongation

of

post

to

avoid

spoilers

WARNING, NOTHING BUT SPOILERS IN MY ABOVE POST (in case someone happens to be reading from the bottom up)

TheLulzWatch
TheLulzWatch
6 years ago

The best way to mock him is to compare him to Anita Sarkeesian and her critic of video games.

Internet fail “activism” at its finest, hahaha!

Seriously, “triggered” by Lisa Simpson or that Rey-something character? Seeing a ton of things in movies that just isn´t actually there?
Among the best of many, many proofs that the “manosphere” simply blows, that they are nowhere as tough and hard as they pretend themselves to be.

Just a bunch of blowhards and cheap, e-begging charlatans.

ColeYote
ColeYote
6 years ago

Former interstellar wunderkind Luke Skywalker has become a “fat, burn-out, pervert,”

He’s in it for two seconds and doesn’t even have a line, did you even watch the movie?!

Jimbtho
Jimbtho
6 years ago

I’m going to see the film tomorrow and I’m looking forward to it…I don’t really mind seeing spoilers to be honest. Anyway, I just wanted to say it really, really pisses me off when this kind of asshole says nasty things about John Boyega. I was really impressed by his performance in Attack The Block, without which I’m sure he wouldn’t have been in Star Wars. I’d like to see all these very-un-supreme supremacists and so-called fanboys give a convincing and charismatic performance as a young street robber on a redemption arc. I’d also like to see them achieve global recognition and yet remain as humble and unassuming as Boyega seems to be.

NiOg
NiOg
6 years ago

It’s pretty clear Aurini not only hasn’t seen the movie, but he’s trying to talk himself out of seeing it, because if he never actually sees it he can pretend it’s bad and he didn’t want to see it anyway.

This goes beyond sour grapes. These are 100% available, easily-within-reach, delicious grapes that he is pretending are both sour and unavailable. Like, literally nothing is standing in Aurini’s way of going to the theater and enjoying an incredibly good movie. Even if he doesn’t agree with its ideological premise. He can plunk down $4 for a matinee and secretly enjoy it, and no one in the Manosphere will ever know.

But no, he’s got to scream and pout and howl about how it’s totes bad, you guys. Ooh, those grapes are totally sour! So sour they’re poisonous! Anyone who eats those grapes, why, they’re going to be poisoned forever by evil SJW commie feminists!

There’s something very sad about a man in his twenties having a toddler meltdown because he wants to ruin someone else’s joy.

Lkeke35
Lkeke35
6 years ago

‘…these are 100% available, easily-within-reach, delicious grapes…’

I love this phrase!

CriticalDragon1177
6 years ago

David Futrelle,

Davis Aurini probably loves the horrible Star Wars Holiday Special, since its just about the only Star Wars movie that doesn’t have any black actors in it, and it was before Princess Leia showed everyone how strong she was, and how she could take out the bad guys just like her male counterparts by strangling Jabba the Hutt to death.

CriticalDragon1177
6 years ago

David Futrelle,

Come to think of it, I’m surprised anyone like Davis Aurini would ever be a fan of Star Wars, after all its full of positive portrayals of minorities, often even when you don’t see any non white humans on screen. Just how upset people like him will be when we come across actual space aliens and none of them look like white male Europeans. Can you imagine when the space craft lands, how upset he would be to see greeted by a friendly four armed green women?

Citizen Justin
6 years ago

Like CriticalDragon, it surprises me that Aurini liked the original Star Wars films (if he did). The Rebel Alliance, fighting for democracy against a totalitarian state, are presented as good, while the Empire, who are all about strength and power and darkness, are presented as evil. Surely Aurini’s more in line with the Empire’s POV?

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