a new woman to hate a voice for men a woman is always to blame antifeminism antifeminist women FemRAs harassment misogyny MRA paul elam

With A Voice for Men’s conference over, Paul Elam has found a new woman to hate.

Paul Elam: Voice of reason in the gender debate?
Paul Elam: Voice of reason in the gender debate?

You’ll all be glad to hear that Paul Elam has returned to normal. Well, normal for him.

After several days of doing his best impression of someone who isn’t a rage-filled attention misogynist, he’s back to his old woman-bashing self. You’ll also be happy to learn that he’s found a brand new woman to hate:  Time reporter Jessica Roy, who is apparently quite stinky.


I’ve heard rumors that most females are stinky, actually.

Roy, who is covering the conference for Time, hasn’t even published her account yet. Her crimes so far? She tweeted some appalling quotes from some of the talks at the conference and made clear that she was not having a good time amongst the assembled assholes human rights activists.  A selection:

Oh, and she tweeted a photo showing the backs of a bunch of dudes’ heads at the conference:


As a result of these dastardly crimes against manhumanity, Elam has declared Roy to be:

  • a “low rent hack”
  • “a SWJ in all her hateful glory”
  • “a liar and a bigot [who]will be exposed”
  • a practitioner of “journalistic scumtardery”

Elam also boasts that whatever she writes about the conference —  like all the negative coverage his conference has and will be getting from what he calls the “shallow, clueless and uniformed ideological hacks” of the mainstream media — will drive “more people away from places like TIME and into palaces [sic] like AVFM.”  He also thanks Roy “for the donations that will hit AVFM” from new people recruited to the cause by her writings.

It’s rather revealing that he seems to think the true success of AVFM’s “activism” is measured not by what he and his followers are able to do for men and boys — but by how much money he can pull in. An unknown percentage of which goes directly to him.

Interesting that Adam Serwer, who’s already published a snarky piece about the conference for MSNBC, has not gotten similar treatment. Nor have any of the other male journalists who’ve written critically about the conference.

Wonder why that could be?

Anyway, here’s some more of the press coverage of the conference:

First International Conference on Men’s Issues: Day 2, by Arthur Goldwag, Hatewatch

Goldwag continues his coverage, concluding that

[T]he weekend wasn’t an unalloyed hate fest, though there was plenty of rancor, contempt, defensiveness, and anti-feminism on display. Some of the female speakers were the least restrained in that respect, especially on the contentious issues of domestic violence and sexual coercion and modern women’s infuriating desire to determine their own destinies. Many of the speakers signaled that they were chafing a little under Paul Elam’s no trash-talking rule.

It will be interesting to see how much bridge-building A Voice for Men engages in from here on out … .

Well, I think we already have an answer to this question.

8 ugly observations about conference on men’s rights in metro Detroit, by Steve Neavling, Motor City Muckraker

Neavling, no fan of MRAs, summed up what he saw as the central message of the conference:

The “vast majority” of college women lie about being raped. Men are violent because of their mothers. Feminists are plotting to dominate men.

One thing was ringingly clear among attendees at the first-annual International Conference on Men’s Issues in St. Clair Shores this weekend: Women are becoming an increasing threat and something must be done to stop them.

In addition to highlighting some of the low points of the conference, Neavling also puts the conference in a larger perspective by pointing out some of the more noxious writings of Elam and of the conference’s PR genius Janet Bloomfield.

Sparsely attended ‘men’s rights’ soirée arrives at source of their problems. Hint: It’s women, by TBogg, Raw Story

Drawing heavily on Adam Serwer’s account of the conference, Tbobb concludes:

Yup, the first International Conference on Men’s Issues rolled into Veterans of Foreign Wars Bruce Post 1146 in St. Clair, Michigan, this weekend and over ONE HUNDRED attendees, from all walks of life — if by ‘all walks of life’ you mean: ‘middle-aged divorced white guys with anger management issues’ — came together in brotherhood to address the source of all of the pain and suffering and existential angst that afflicts MANkind.

Resolved: Women are to blame.

Oh, don’t worry; the conference got some positive press as well. From the husband of one of AVFM’s press conference panelists:

A kinder, gentler turn to the gender wars? by Glenn Harlan Reynolds, USA Today

Reynolds — the husband of sometime AVFM contributor “Dr. Helen,” whose bizarrely chipper reckoning of the conference we looked at yesterday — offered up a surreal account of the conference as a kind of cross-gender-love fest:

[T]he thing that struck me most about the gathering was the palpable lack of gender tension. Men and women at this conference seemed to be on the same page, and the same team, in a way that seems almost surprising in these gender-divided times. Maybe that’s because gender-talk, long a female domain, is also now about men. …  As Farrell concluded in a Friday night dinner speech, the goal is “not a men’s movement, not a women’s movement, but a gender liberation movement.”

With men and women both talking and listening, it gave me some hope that perhaps we’ll see something new, and better, in the politics of gender.

Dude, you might want to read that post by Elam before you go all kumbaya on us.

Meanwhile, Sworebytheprecious reports that she was able to infiltrate a post-conference gathering of AVFMers in a hotel lobby and … actually talk to them for some time. At least until Dean Esmay showed up, recognized her, and got her tossed out.

i got the restaurant where they were celebrating and i even found myself sharing a dessert with a very nice redheaded gentleman who works for A Voice for Men, although i have not discovered in what capacity. i also found my way to the hotel where Elam and the inner circle were staying. at about midnight, i spent about two and a half hours talking with GirlWritesWhat, [Barbara] Kay, some guys i don’t know off the top of my head, and some other members. …

i was terrified. it never once stopped my commitment. i went as far as i could.

at about 2 30 am i was pulled away from a very enlightening conversation with Barbara Kay by hotel security and asked to leave. i was in the lobby of the [will add when convention is over]. to my knowledge i had done nothing illegal or caused any disruptions; i doubt my presence would have been welcome with the AVfM staff for long had i posed any real risk. i even allowed one man to take multiple pictures of me and i will describe that interaction in detail later. hotel security was very apologetic with me in any case. i believe Esmay was the instigator because he had been liaison between the table and the front desk. before i left, Esmay and Straughn let everyone know who i was and said “i was part of a hate group” and a journalist who worked for Futrelle. i denied these things, because i do not work for Futrelle. …

the security guard pressed. i left the hotel without incident and waited for my ride.

There’s a lot more to her post, and Swore promises that many more details will be forthcoming.  She’s also going to be staying in Detroit for another week to talk to and report about activists there, and NEEDS MORE MONEY to cover her expenses (though not $25,000). Her gofundme is here.

And no, she doesn’t work for me, or with me. I gave her gofundme a signal boost at one point, and have exchanged some messages with her; that’s the extent of my connection with her. I only found out about her late-night confab when she Tweeted me about it today.

In the Men’s Rights subreddit, they’re worried that she’s going to falsely accuse some AVFMer of rape.

EDIT: Rewrote the big about Swore staying in Detroit because she’s still in need of cash to pay her expenses.




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8 years ago

*It’s a few statistics repeated and solely used as slogans and memes, and that’s not advocacy.

That was a major proof-reading fail, even for sloppy old me.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
8 years ago

I can’t imagine a conference that doesn’t even have something like break-out groups to wake people up in the middle of it by giving them something different to do. Even super-engaging speakers put people to sleep after the 3rd of 4th hour.


This idea that journalists should be stenographers, just writing down and passing along, uncritically, what people say is very new. Historically journalists have formed opinions about the subjects of their stories, and have expressed those opinions. The stenography model exists to assure continued access to thin-skinned policymakers, and it furthers no journalistic or social objectives. The only people who like it are those whose views cannot withstand scrutiny, so you might want to think a little bit about your reverence for it.

8 years ago

I’m still in utter disbelief that we’re still debating contra-fucking-ception going against religious beliefs in 2014.
Well this is now a bit less OT, but it’s settled. I’m going to talk to my priest about the “clarity clinic” speaker and the utter inappropriate-ness of it. I’m pretty sure I’m not gonna turn the church prochoice, so baby steps. Maybe I can get them to realize how upsetting those speakers can be, and it should be left out of the services. I don’t know, I don’t want to just walk out – they’ve proven to be progressive in other ways. I figure that’s the only way things will change – people speaking up. I’m armed with the knowledge I’m not the only one who was completely enraged about it.

Thank you to those who pointed out that church should be a safe place. I’m going to use that. I have hope that he will care enough to listen and consider that at least.

8 years ago

That workplace safety, waaaah, argument is one that really shows up what’s wrong with their basic approach to issues. Men’s, women’s or children’s.

The most effective ways to deal with occupational health and safety are to get involved in unions – especially for workplaces like mines – and/or to use all the resources of the various government agencies. Most importantly, to keep on keeping on when issues aren’t resolved promptly or when legislation is inadequate and you need to nag, nag and find newer, more creative ways to nag some more to get it fixed.

Unions? Governments? Shock, horror. My reading of MRAs generally is that they’re mostly right wing assholes who’d have conniptions if anyone suggested that the best way to deal with an issue was to get involved in a union, let alone to get a government agency to exercise its legitimate powers. As for legislative and regulatory reform, I have my doubts that you could get this lot to agree that more regulation and/ or more enforcement of existing regulations is a good thing, even if it saved men from injury, incapacity and death.

8 years ago

I guess I just find better uses for my time than lending an ear or eye to the endeavors of 200 guys who couldn’t get laid last week and are threatening to change the world in hopes of getting laid next week.

Lending ears and eyes to losers is a waste of time, but complaining about the people who lend their ears and eyes etc is “better things to do”?

No, dude, I think that actually makes you even sadder.

By what possible stretch of legal imagination is contraceptive health care less real than blood transfusions?

I’ve been arguing all day with people trying to tell me that birth control is a “want”, not a “need”. The argument that it in fact serves to prevent a life-altering and life-threatening medical condition (pregnancy), keeps falling on deaf ears. Wanna guess what gender all those people were?

she is ostensibly a reporter for and her twitter commentary was extremely unprofessional (but keeps with her character, if you look at her older tweets) and makes NO attempt to stay objective about the conference. The MSNBC guy at least tried, even if you can see some of his bias coming through. The other articles that have have attacked the conference are from left wing trust-fund-socialist rags.

“If you don’t agree with us stay objective, you’re part of the conspiracy against us!” You sound like Fox News – although given your comment, you probably think that’s a compliment.

Also: do you even know what socialism is?

@Jared, dude, multiple people on multiple threads have asked you to please use blockquotes or italics or something to indicate when you’re quoting someone else, and you haven’t even acknowledged the requests. Even quotation marks would make your comments so much easier to follow.

Flying Mouse
Flying Mouse
8 years ago

@Nitram – Good luck on your talk with the priest!

8 years ago

“The balance fallacy, also known as false balance,[2] occurs when two sides of an argument are assumed to have equal value regardless of their respective merits.”

So male suicide rates, homeless rate, due process in assault cases, workplace accident and failure to launch are all BS? And the fact that feminists (who often say that they are for everyone) do little or nothing to address these issues still means the the whole thing can be written off flippantly like she did in her twitter?

What’s any of that got to do with the price of tea in China?

(In other words, how’d you get…there…from the “balance fallacy”? Do you even logic, bro?)

Most of us have been raised to believe that there are two sides to every story, and the truth lies somewhere in the middle. And that’s simply not always the case. Sometimes there are five sides to a story, but sometimes there’s just one. Sometimes the truth doesn’t lie in the middle, it lies squarely on one side or the other.

A couple of years back, someone did a study of the supposed “liberal bias” of NPR. What they found was that NPR was one of the few big-name news outlets who refused to play the “equal weight” game, and since reality has a liberal bias, their adherence to it made them look biased compared to the MSM.

Well this is now a bit less OT, but it’s settled. I’m going to talk to my priest about the “clarity clinic” speaker and the utter inappropriate-ness of it. I’m pretty sure I’m not gonna turn the church prochoice, so baby steps. Maybe I can get them to realize how upsetting those speakers can be, and it should be left out of the services.

Maybe present him with some info about how CPCs are known to lie to patients?

8 years ago

Uuuuuugh don’t wanna think about the Hobby Lobby ruling.

Times like this, I’m actually GLAD hubby and I are in a position where sure, we can’t legally get married, but it doesn’t come to any practical difference. At least I can always insure he gets my healthcare! *snort*

8 years ago

Fact continue to have a liberal bias.

8 years ago


So male suicide rates, homeless rate, due process in assault cases, workplace accident and failure to launch are all BS?

Others have responded to you quite wonderfully, so I won’t go into detail, but I am curious what the “due process in assault cases” thing was referring to exactly.

8 years ago

I got hung up on “failure to launch”. What do shitty romcoms have to do with men’s rights? Is it because the movie stars Sarah Jessica Parker, and the misandry bled over from Sex and the City?

8 years ago

So “Save the Queen” lives in upside-down, Bizarro world, right? The world where no one pays attention to men’s problems? Where feminists should be expected to focus on men? Where Beagle rescue outfits should be expected to focus on ending polio?

Because I’m going to stay in the world that we actually live in, trying to make it better. Unlike “Save the Queen” who apparently is a royalist, or perhaps really into beehive keeping.

St.-Clair-Shores wine
7 years ago

Really Inspirational

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