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How not to impress the ladies on OkCupid

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So @catches_stars on Twitter is pretty hilarious. She’s also got an OkCupid account, and regularly posts snippets of her conversations with some of the more problematic dudes who contact her, some on her main Twitter account and some on @okcupid_TXT. With her permission, and because I’m too lazy to actually write a post today, I’m passing along a few of my favorites.

This overeager fellow has a rather sudden change of heart when his stated plan runs into an obstacle, that obstacle being that @catches_stars finds him completely repulsive.

okeager

This guy is either totally high or trying some weird and misguided PUA wizardry on her. (It does not succeed.)

oksecret

This foot-obsessed fellow spammed her with the same message from several different accounts.

oktoes

This guy, who seems to be shirtless in his profile pic, gets what I assume is, to him, a very disappointing answer.

okbody

As does this fellow.

okchicks

Romance is hard.

777 replies on “How not to impress the ladies on OkCupid”

What a painful weekend 🙁 hugs, Cloudiah.

Falconer, I hope new parenthood is going well for you two.

I hope it’s clear I passed the babbies for cooing not to spotlight the babies, but for brain bleach. It seems like that’s what everybody took it as, but I thought just now that it might seem like I was trying to grab the discussion.

New parenthood is a mixture of grind and adorableness. Their features are so tiny! But their tiny little fingers are so strong. And they don’t have sense yet not to piss when I’ve got their diapers off. >:( I’m going deaf from them screaming on the changing table and blind from their utter angelic beauty.

No more midnight bedtime for me, though. Get down early, that’s the key to feeding them overnight and going to work in the morning.

Oh, and Skype now says my computer is fast enough for video calls, but I haven’t done anything since last night.

I’m waiting on a 1 GB ATI video card which Amazon sold me for $45, and I hope that’s going to help. Skype recommends at least 32 MB of video card, and I’ve got an integrated video card (not really a gaming machine, but tbh, I’ve got consoles for that).

Babbage’s difference engine is a conceptual leap away from modern computers, in that it is a dedicated machine and not a programmable one. It does one task only. It is more akin to a pocket calculator than a computer.

Figuring out that you could build a universal machine to do math in general, rather than only being to automate a very restricted set of problems, was Turing’s contribution.

Joining the discussion way late, but on the “what are you doing this weekend” front, I just wanted to brag that I’m seeing Bob Mould live here in Sydney this Saturday night. WOO! Also, Martyn is a dead-set tool who really should go away and have a good hard think about himself before engaging on any level with other human beings. Thank you.

Thanks Cloudiah! We’re probably not far off the same age actually; I was old enough to see him back then, but it just took me a lot longer to get on board the Mouldy greatness train. BTW,I just realised that when I commented above, I was commenting on an old thread, and that my weekend coming up is a week later than the weekend everyone else was commenting on. Buh.

Irregardless of the passing of time however, my comment re MH’s toolocity stands. I’m sure he hasn’t changed that much in a week (sadly).

Just minor whinging from feminists who think everything is offensive. The “Nice Guys” of OKCupid are already too nice, if you ask me. They should be much more assertive, especially when they detect a feminist is speaking.

Why don’t you come and say that on an active thread? Afraid of being challenged?

I just finished a delicious mac and cheese. Of course, this was a lot less enjoyable than it could have been because the boyfriend and I couldn’t stop whinging about how offensive it was. And don’t get me started on how offensive the cat was when she completely ignored us.

That Compass one is very offensive. It has a mean expression.

I think it’s offensive that a) my house isn’t big enough for that sort of jeep to fit down the corridor and b) I’m not strong enough to lift one over the offensive cat. Offensively.

Okay, I totally want to be a Fembot Count. “Count Emily the Fembot of Fembotopia!”

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