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Ladies are the Borg

Ladies are complicated! Happily, we fellas have Gobhoblin on the Men’s Rights subreddit to explain them to us. Turns out they are all one giant HIVE BORG MIND. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED. RESISTANCE IS FUTRELLE!

 

EDITED TO ADD: Thanks to Ami Angelwings for pointing this quote out to me.  I mean, thanks to all women.

178 replies on “Ladies are the Borg”

A man said it! Therefore it must be true! I wonder if the commenters actually read the text or if they just nod and smile to anything anti-woman. They’re like a hive mind or something.

It makes sense the other way too…
The best way to attractive to women is… to be attractive to women…

LMAOOO. It sure does son, it sure does.

This makes sense to me, and Gobhoblin seems like a swell dude, as long as all of the other women agree. Otherwise, this makes no sense to me >: – ( and he is mean and ugly and mean!!

We are the FemBorg. Lower your shields and surrender your $Money$. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us. Resistance is Futrelle.

So how do they explain the differences in women:

some women like nerdy guys
some women like men who live in business suits
some women like other women
some women like “bad boys”
some women like cats

Are some women like the arm with others being a foot of a total body of women? Or is it just that this guy is full of “special”?

I read a comment thread on that subreddit last week bemoaning the fact that MRAs are always being called trolls and aren’t taken seriously. Yes, I wonder why anyone would possibly say that.

So this means that whether I like someone is the OBJECTIVE TRUTH about whether women like that person. Huh.

ALL WOMEN THINK NEIL GAIMAN IS GOOOOOD

No, PfkaE, we cannot disagree about anyone! We’ll have to vote on Neil Gaiman at the next ladymeeting.

But wait! As Meller has informed us many times, feminists are not Real Women. So there you go.

PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth-
That one’s easy! They’re all lying bitches, except the ones that admit they like jerks. Obviously.

…I just remembered that I’m nonbinary and hence don’t get input into What Women Like. Oops. 🙂

I think the third commenter is spot on.
“I think you hit the nail on the head”, yes, HIS head. You know, like those people on the ER with huge metal bars on their heads? They still function, but most likely, the, you know, thought part, is off. 🙂
Or he’s just delusional.

Seriously ladies. I think we should let the men in on how thos really works. It seems so cruel to keep them hoping for a woman to look their way. We should just tell them straight up whether they have a chance.

See guys, every male on earth is tested by their mother at birth. You give off a special psychic aura, and it tells us whether or not you’ll be an alpha. You have a roughly ten percent chance of being one, and if you are then we celebrate your good fortune and add you to the registry of men worth marrying. If you don’t make the cut, well…you know how it goes.

Every girl on earth is taught from the age of thirteen on how to check the registry and when. Checking the registry is what we’re doing when we go to powder our noses during dates, or depart en mass for the bathroom at the club.

Oh, and our mind is more like the Taelon commonality than the borg hivemind.

Question: What if I don’t know what any other women think of a man? Do I get first dibs on defining his status or will I receive telepathic signals?

…Also, why does my mom hate all my boyfriends?

Also, he makes it sound like he wants to hit a woman in public and have people join in and help. 🙁

Don’t forget about the Mark of Fucking. You see, when a woman has sex with a man, she leaves a mark on him in ink that only women can read. It’s kind of like a tattoo, but only visible to ladies. So anyway, when a woman meets a man she immediately checks how many of these marks he has. If there aren’t enough, she dismissed him as Totally Not Alpha, and spits on him.

You may be wondering how if this is so any man ever manages to lose his virginity. The answer is simple – alcohol. You see, the marks are hard for women to read when we’re drunk, so occasionally a woman will misread and have sex with some non-Alpha. When she sobers up in the morning she can read the marks correctly again, and this is where false rape allegations come from.

I totally forgot about that!! See and there’s scientific proof for it, because we have more light receptors on the backs of our eyes. You thought it was so we could see dirt better and keep your house cleaner…but. Invisible marks is what they are for.

alcohol. You see, the marks are hard for women to read when we’re drunk, so occasionally a woman will misread and have sex with some non-Alpha

That totally does not explain those of us who are teetotalers. I never drink and yet…I have gentlemen callers on occasion.

Ah, but are they virgins or have they already been pre-marked by other women and thus approved?

I rest my case.

Some of these guys can’t even figure out that we share the same genome….that’s a pretty big false premise to overcome. We’re talking major re education here……

I don’t see them saying we’re human anytime soon.

The Marks of Fucking are not merely made on the man–they are transferred to the man from the woman!

This is why a woman who has had too many partners is low-value. She’s out of Marks and will not increase the man’s status.

The woman then manufactures fake Marks using eyeliner and lies to men that she still has plenty left, but for just $29.95 my handy guide will show you how to tell which ones are genuine. Please make the cheque out to “Roissy”.

In fact, the transferring of the Marks is a bit uncomfortable, but a man must suffer if he is to achieve the admiration of his peers.

Ahem. All women believe that Good Omens is a much less depressing book about the apocalypse than WWZ is, and all women kind of appreciate that.

Um, I’m pretty sure women prefer the teen and YA literature of Tamora Pierce, because we read it at a young age and it created an indelible mark on our interest in reading and our senses of self.

All women appreciate the surprising realism and straight-facedness of WWZ, the weirdly appealing narrative of humanity pulling together against a common threat, and especially that one story about the Army dogs.

All women are just not that into fantasy unless they’re playing a role-playing game, and prefer hard SF in their novels.

I should also point out, apropos of nothing, that all women had rice cakes for breakfast and unpleasantly gloppy vegetarian stew for lunch.

Because one woman disapproves of the stew, all women disapprove of it! If I were to beat that stew on the street, women would stop and help me!

Anyway, all women have to go to class now. I’d say “see ya,” but as you’ll all be in that class with me, it’s unnecessary. (We approve of the professor, by the way. But not like that.)

I thought women hated stew and wanted to beat it in the streets?!! Dammit.. even Borg Hive Mind Women can’t agree on shit!!

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