MRA decides to avoid the pains of divorce by not marrying — and moving to Kentucky. And that’s just the start of his wonderful plan

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Jacare_o has it all figured out. In a post on the Men’s Rights subreddit today, the imaginative young man lays out a foolproof plan to raise a family “safely” in the gynocentric world of today.

Step One: Move to Kentucky.

It is one of the very few default equal custody states. The father will get equal custody of children unless proven to be unfit. Child support may still have to be paid by the higher earner to the lower earner even at equal custody, but it is capped and is affordable.

Huh. According to US News and World Report, Kentucky ranks 41st out of 50 states in livability, measured by ratings in such categories as Education, Health Care, and Fiscal Stability. But it’s not this low in all rankings. For example, it has the highest maternal death rate among states that keep records.

But you be you, brave jacare_o. Don’t follow the crowd! Move to a state that kind of sucks.

Oh, and by the way, Kentucky has default joint custody. That’s not the same as equal or half-custody. Oops.

Step Two: Don’t actually get married!

If she conceives someone else’s child by cheating while you are married to her, you will be held responsible as the father by default, and it will be very difficult to get out of this. Also, if divorce happens the higher earner will be required to pay alimony. The intent is to not get completely destroyed at the dissolution of marriage, which is very likely to happen (50% of first marriages end in divorce).

Well, he’s actually right. There is no common law marriage in Kentucky. Good luck hypothetically explaining this aspect of your plan to your hypothetical girlfriend, who might actually want some legal protections if she moves in with you and, you know, actually bears your child, though admittedly the thought of anyone taking him up on any of this is preposterous. .

Step Three: “If she shows undesirable behavior, immediately file for custody and leave.”

What counts as “undesirable behavior?” Well, not doing the chores, for one.

You could have different kinds of household agreements. Both of you might be working and share household chores. Or you might be bringing income, and she does household chores. If she doesn’t do her fair share, leave and find someone who does.

You realize, dude, that if you have children with this woman that there will be a lot more than mere “chores” to do around the house, right?

Also, if she flirts with other men and shows a tendency to find a replacement for you, do the same. Same goes if she withholds sex, or gets fat. Either she can turn a blind eye while you get sex from somewhere else, or you two can agree to separate.

This plan is sounding better and better!

But what if it fails for the reason that no woman in her right mind would agree to it, or, probably, agree to go out with you at all?

If you cannot find a woman that agrees to these conditions, the next best option is to pay a surrogate to have children. Looking at … how much people paid in child support, paying for a surrogate is pretty cheap.

Dude, even if we set aside the cost of the surrogate (which can reach as much as $200,000 according to US News and World Report, which is really coming in handy today), you do realize that if you raise a kid by yourself, you have to pay 100% of the expenses, right? You may not “pay child support” but you have to pay to support your child.

You can most likely get help from your mother for childcare

Ah, so dear old MOM is going to do the heavy lifting with your kids? Who would have guessed? Does she have to move to Kentucky too? What if she doesn’t want to move, or, for that matter, doesn’t want to raise your kids because she’s got other shit to do? What if she dies when your kids are still young?

Anyway, assuming mom agrees to be roped in to take care of the kid(s), you can

keep doing low commitment casual dating, or [go on] frequent vacations to Colombia (where prostitution is legal and cheap) for sex.

Yeah, I’m sure your mom will love to have responsibility for your kids 24/7 when you go on your little sex vacations in South America. Moms love that.

A few of the commenters have suggestions on how to improve jacare_o’s little plan. One commenter remarks that a better strategy would be to simply not have kids in the first place. Jacare_o responds by noting that

I don’t want to be a genetic dead end. I want to spread my seed like Genghis Khan. That is what I consider a win.

Clearly that’s the best possible reason to have children.

When a commente called NPCBaiter advises him to become a sperm donor, jacare_o announces brightly that

I’m going to do this. And I’m going to put a real good feminist profile, and dress like one when I meet them too.

You’re going to … dress … like a feminist. How does a feminist dress, anyway?

NPCBaiter also suggests that

the safest way is to have a child in a third world country like the Philippines.

You can support an above average lifestyle for the kid there and the woman cannot use western laws against you.

Nothing more foolproof than to move to an extremely hot, very poor developing country where you don’t speak the language in order to save some bucks on your expenses.

mllhild has a simpler solution:

Be scary enough and have scary friends to the point that she doesnt dare to leave?

milhild gets a couple of upvotes for this wonderful suggestion, here in the largest forum of the so-called Men’s Rights Movement, though it actually proves a bit much for even jacare_o.

Because, you know, he’s such a humanitarian.

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