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Jacare_o has it all figured out. In a post on the Men’s Rights subreddit today, the imaginative young man lays out a foolproof plan to raise a family “safely” in the gynocentric world of today.
Step One: Move to Kentucky.
It is one of the very few default equal custody states. The father will get equal custody of children unless proven to be unfit. Child support may still have to be paid by the higher earner to the lower earner even at equal custody, but it is capped and is affordable.
Huh. According to US News and World Report, Kentucky ranks 41st out of 50 states in livability, measured by ratings in such categories as Education, Health Care, and Fiscal Stability. But it’s not this low in all rankings. For example, it has the highest maternal death rate among states that keep records.
But you be you, brave jacare_o. Don’t follow the crowd! Move to a state that kind of sucks.
Oh, and by the way, Kentucky has default joint custody. That’s not the same as equal or half-custody. Oops.
Step Two: Don’t actually get married!
If she conceives someone else’s child by cheating while you are married to her, you will be held responsible as the father by default, and it will be very difficult to get out of this. Also, if divorce happens the higher earner will be required to pay alimony. The intent is to not get completely destroyed at the dissolution of marriage, which is very likely to happen (50% of first marriages end in divorce).
Well, he’s actually right. There is no common law marriage in Kentucky. Good luck hypothetically explaining this aspect of your plan to your hypothetical girlfriend, who might actually want some legal protections if she moves in with you and, you know, actually bears your child, though admittedly the thought of anyone taking him up on any of this is preposterous. .
Step Three: “If she shows undesirable behavior, immediately file for custody and leave.”
What counts as “undesirable behavior?” Well, not doing the chores, for one.
You could have different kinds of household agreements. Both of you might be working and share household chores. Or you might be bringing income, and she does household chores. If she doesn’t do her fair share, leave and find someone who does.
You realize, dude, that if you have children with this woman that there will be a lot more than mere “chores” to do around the house, right?
Also, if she flirts with other men and shows a tendency to find a replacement for you, do the same. Same goes if she withholds sex, or gets fat. Either she can turn a blind eye while you get sex from somewhere else, or you two can agree to separate.
This plan is sounding better and better!
But what if it fails for the reason that no woman in her right mind would agree to it, or, probably, agree to go out with you at all?
If you cannot find a woman that agrees to these conditions, the next best option is to pay a surrogate to have children. Looking at … how much people paid in child support, paying for a surrogate is pretty cheap.
Dude, even if we set aside the cost of the surrogate (which can reach as much as $200,000 according to US News and World Report, which is really coming in handy today), you do realize that if you raise a kid by yourself, you have to pay 100% of the expenses, right? You may not “pay child support” but you have to pay to support your child.
You can most likely get help from your mother for childcare
Ah, so dear old MOM is going to do the heavy lifting with your kids? Who would have guessed? Does she have to move to Kentucky too? What if she doesn’t want to move, or, for that matter, doesn’t want to raise your kids because she’s got other shit to do? What if she dies when your kids are still young?
Anyway, assuming mom agrees to be roped in to take care of the kid(s), you can
keep doing low commitment casual dating, or [go on] frequent vacations to Colombia (where prostitution is legal and cheap) for sex.
Yeah, I’m sure your mom will love to have responsibility for your kids 24/7 when you go on your little sex vacations in South America. Moms love that.
A few of the commenters have suggestions on how to improve jacare_o’s little plan. One commenter remarks that a better strategy would be to simply not have kids in the first place. Jacare_o responds by noting that
I don’t want to be a genetic dead end. I want to spread my seed like Genghis Khan. That is what I consider a win.
Clearly that’s the best possible reason to have children.
When a commente called NPCBaiter advises him to become a sperm donor, jacare_o announces brightly that
I’m going to do this. And I’m going to put a real good feminist profile, and dress like one when I meet them too.
You’re going to … dress … like a feminist. How does a feminist dress, anyway?
NPCBaiter also suggests that
the safest way is to have a child in a third world country like the Philippines.
You can support an above average lifestyle for the kid there and the woman cannot use western laws against you.
Nothing more foolproof than to move to an extremely hot, very poor developing country where you don’t speak the language in order to save some bucks on your expenses.
mllhild has a simpler solution:
Be scary enough and have scary friends to the point that she doesnt dare to leave?
milhild gets a couple of upvotes for this wonderful suggestion, here in the largest forum of the so-called Men’s Rights Movement, though it actually proves a bit much for even jacare_o.
Because, you know, he’s such a humanitarian.
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This was written by a teenager. He doesn’t want kids. Even the fathers in the manosphere who cry about custody and child support and their ex-wives/girlfriends “stealing” their kids and all that, they don’t want full custody, they don’t even want half. If they did they would fight for it. Men who pursue the legal system for half custody usually get it. These men do not want the responsibility of raising children.
@personalpest
They also don’ think about the good of their hypothetical children either nor their parents in the case of this clown. Everybody is a token on a boardgame to them and they wonder why people detest them and why they can’t have good thing.
PS: btw the idea that 50% of marriages end in divorce is largely a myth. It’s actually more like a 30-35%.
epronovost
50% divorce rate? Yup.
I can’t remember the exact jiggery pokery but it’s pretty straightforward. Don’t quote me but I think it’s something like putting the number of marriages in a specified year up against all divorces from any and every year in that same 12 month span.
This is absolutely not a like for like comparison. – and there are probably good(ish) reasons like international data sets that require it. But people constantly misuse it in the same way they misunderstand life expectancy.
Anyone who lived to be 45 or 50 yrs old 200 or 2000 years ago was just as likely as most people we know now to live beyond 60 or 70. The life challenge was to get through infancy and childhood to even be considered in the race.
It always amazes me that MRAs just think that raising a child is free. I don’t even have kids and I can think of so many things that cost money. And there’s probably lots of things I’m not thinking about. I suppose that explains why they’re so heated about child support. After all, if raising a child is free, that money must be going to mom’s bonbon budget!
As far as I know in the UK (Alan will have the real expertise!) Parental Responsibility only really relates to rights you have as a parent to veto decisions like moving your child out of the country or bringing up them with beliefs you are opposed to. There isnt anything about financial support (which you are meant to give even without PR if you are the father). You can also apply to a court to get it transfered/removed in the scenario this guy is scared of.
Funny how they ALWAYS assume they’d be the loser in this. I was reading about a case involving a prenup where a woman had tried to ring-fence a big lump sum (inheritance I think – it was like £600,000). The judge ruled it unfair in divorce proceedings because her husband had gone bankrupt and would be left destitute, and ruled she had to give him half AND the lions share (arounf 60-70%, I think) of her pension.
If I were to pay for sex, it being “cheap” would be something of a cause for concern, especially in a country like Colombia. What is wrong with these people??
What about a fat, flirtatious wife who shirks her chores and won’t have sex with you? Should you replace her with four women: one slender wife, one devoted wife, one conscientious wife, and one wife who can’t keep her hands off you?
Temujin, a young Mongolian chief became Genghis Khan in part because he put together an alliance to rescue his fiancée, Bortai, after she was abducted by a neighbouring tribe; he succeeded, and then decided to keep going and make himself king of all the Mongols. Shortly after her return Bortai gave birth to a son who had probably been conceived through rape by one of her captors— Temujin accepted him and raised him as his own anyway*. Like most rulers of the time, he went on to have multiple wives and concubines, but Bortai was his queen-consort and trusted advisor. All of which is to say to jacare_o: “You, sir, are no Genghis Khan.”
*This did cause some trouble after his death when his sons squabbled over who was to inherit
@Moon Custafer
And also improved the situation of women and Mongols in desperate situations as well. From what I remember about his story, he himself experienced hardship as a child, living as an outcast for a time after his father’s death despite being of novle birth, and his mother faced a similar situation as his own fiancé Börte to begin with, so he knew the pain and knew what comes of it. Abducting women to make them brides was very common in his culture and as chief he had a real shot at improving the situation of those people, which he did in the Yassa. His wives were also essentially his viceroys while he was on campaign, and it seems like they had quite a bit of power in their own right. He had quite a few powerful and influential women in his live. So, yeah, a guy who would abandon his wive on a whim and wants her to be a subservient little domestic and breeding slave is no Genghis Khan. That man certainly was no saint and did quite a questionable things, but he also wasn’t who those idiots seem to believe he was.
That jacare_o guy sounds so stucking foopid I can’t help thinking it’s a parody ‘nym, maybe created by some wily feminist to make MRAs look stupid.
Either that, or he and all his online chums are repeating someone else’s parody in total seriousness…
If he’s determined never to get married in the first place, then why does he feel any need to move to Kentucky for its allegedly-man-favorable marriage and divorce laws? And does he really think KY laws and officials will look favorably on a guy who routinely flies to SE Asia for sex-tourism purposes? (And of course that’s all based on the assumption that he’d be able to get a job in KY that pays enough for him to fly across the globe AND pay decent sex-workers on a regular basis….while doing everything he can to avoid paying for child-care.)
I call BS: this jacare_o person is either a teenager, an utter moron, or a Poe.
Also, the bit about being more attractive as a sperm donor by faking “a really good feminist profile” and so on? As in, he thinks it would be some kind of “win” to get a feminist couple or single mother to raise his “seed”?
Dude, that would just mean that you’re contributing another child to “indoctrination” by the “gynocentric” feminist culture that you claim to be so repulsed by.
jacare_o seems to think that sperm donation is like a cuckoo laying her eggs in another bird’s nest, where the parent birds end up caring for a cuckoo instead of their own offspring. But it’s not: a feminist mother or couple doesn’t end up raising a misogynist asshole just because a misogynist asshole happened to donate the sperm for their pregnancy.
Once again I’m struck by how utterly joyless these dudes’ worldview is. Other men are targets for resentment and competition (if Chads alphas) or mockery and contempt (if cucks or betas or whatever stupid derogatory term they’ve come up with this week). Women are either vaguely human-shaped penis receptacles, or evil bitches who refuse to fulfill their proper role as vaguely human-shaped penis receptacles. Children exist for the sole purpose of propagating their father’s genes — none of these guys seem to actually like children or have any wish to be a parent, and the very idea of financially supporting their offspring fills them with rage. They seem to have no mental framework for positive human interaction at all, not even in their fantasies.
Seriously, how shriveled up inside do you have to be, if your fantasy of an ideal life is “I want to be a single father living in Kentucky and spending all my money and leisure time on Cambodian sex tourism while my mother raises my kid?”
Ah, yes, a classic case of child support is expensive, children are free.
Please tell your mom about your plan to have kids and simply have her raise them for you. Explain how you need a woman to do all the childcare, but you cannot allow your ex to care for them because she got fat and/or smiled at a barista one time and must therefore never be allowed to touch your precious money.
Also lol @ “Have babies for me so I can spread my seed, but definitely do not allow your body shape to change.”
I thought alimony was hardly ever awarded anymore, in the US. I know next to nothing about it.
How about…cultivate a good-faith relationship with a woman, and have children if/when you both agree to AND have the finances? It probably never occurred to this person. It seems much easier, to me.
@Moon Custafer; @KMB:
And what’s betting that this guy is envisioning Genghis Khan as John Wayne (in a movie that not only sucked cinematically but racked up an impressive long-term body count?)
“I thought alimony was hardly ever awarded anymore, in the US.”
It’s not. These broke manosphere types without a pence or a pot to pee in spend their days and nights rage-commenting about pre-nups and alimony. It’s like how many Americans vote against their best interests because they identify with the millionaire class.
Only celebrities and very wealthy people are in the alimony demographic. And it’s not even much of a thing amongst them anymore.
@ lollypop
(Redd Foxx voice) Thank you for that unsolicited testimonial.
But yup, from my limited knowledge of family law here, parental responsibility does come with a few obligations as well as rights.
You have the standard common law duties of providing a home for the child and protecting and maintaining the child. Basically if you have PR then you could be a defendant in any child welfare proceedings.
Financial responsibility for a child though arises even without PR if you are the biological parent.
Mothers automatically have PR. So does the father if married at the time. For same sex couples if they are in a civil partnership or married then both parties have PR, regardless of how the baby came into being (So doesn’t matter which one the stork delivers to).
You can also apply for PR if you are connected to the child. If the mother agrees it’s automatic. Otherwise you can apply to the court.
PR gives you rights like to be consulted on medical treatment/religion, take the child out of the country, see school reports, approve name changes etc.
Between this:
And this:
it seems this guy is a big fan of getting diseases. Ones largely eradicated in the developed world or simply unknown there. Hepatitis, syphilis, Ebola, Nipah, hantavirus, Rift Valley fever …
And, of course, contracting them while nowhere near a developed-country hospital.
It’s a sign of immaturity when someone doesn’t think ahead to even the fairly obvious risks and downsides.
Another would be political instability and violence. Colombia is overrun with violent drug cartels and a lot of the other developing countries are similar, or have a recent or ongoing history of civil wars and brutal dictatorships, or both. Hanging around there long enough just might get you jailed or shot for any of a number of random-ish reasons, even if you don’t go out of your way to involve yourself in their politics or in the drug business. Of course, if you’re white and spreading money around to live significantly better than the locals, the gangs are quite likely to start looking at you and wondering if you’ve anyone back home who’d pay a significant ransom for you, too.
The strange thing is I’ll bet the same person who posted that diatribe would get the heebie-jeebies about going into any ethnic neighborhood in New York or LA, fearing crime.
(Needless to say, the typical local resident in any of these places, including both the developing countries and the rougher neighborhoods in American downtowns, is harmless, just trying to get along in life like most people, and the most frequent victims of the criminals and the local constabulary both; I mean to imply nothing negative about them.)
@Rusalka:
That’s one of the most disturbing things. That’s a sign of psychopathy, or perhaps even the whole suite of dark triad traits.
@Full Metal O:
(“O”? Not “Ox”?)
The movie has a long term body count?
How? Is a soaking-wet John Wayne with his hair hanging down covering his face crawling out of people’s TVs and murdering them if they don’t make a copy and pass it on or something?
@ Surplus to Requirements
Oooooo… I know this one. The big C. According to Wikipedia:
“Of the 220 film crew members, 91 (comprising 41% of the crew) developed cancer during their lifetime, while 46 (or 21%) died from it. When this was learned, many suspected that filming in Utah and surrounding locations, near nuclear test sites, was to blame.”
It goes on to muddy the waters a little, pointing out that this isn’t exactly out of line statistically speaking, but the fact that many of those developing cancer were younger than you’d expect seems suspicious.
@Surplus to Requirements:
@Full Metal O:
(“O”? Not “Ox”?)
My tablet slipped and I accidentally truncated my nom de net—thank you for calling it to my attention.
jacare_o seems to think that sperm donation is like a cuckoo laying her eggs in another bird’s nest, where the parent birds end up caring for a cuckoo instead of their own offspring. But it’s not: a feminist mother or couple doesn’t end up raising a misogynist asshole just because a misogynist asshole happened to donate the sperm for their pregnancy.
In their worldview, that may be exactly what they expect. The way it works, I guess, is that one day the man will show up at the feminist mother’s or couple’s doorstep, and tell the child he’s his/her biological father; and from that day forward the child will follow his teachings and example and never again pay attention to his/her adoptive parents. Just like Luke Skywalker. Because kids instinctively need their biological fathers no matter how good their adoptive parents are, or how absent-to-virtually-nonexistent the biological father is. That really seems to be how important biological fatherhood is to these fools.
Everyone else has already covered the important observations, so I’ll go for low-hanging fruit: His name may be a reference to the Jokaero from Warhammer 40k, but his thought process sounds more like he plays either Tzeentch or GSC. And probably very ineptly, at that, all while convinced he’s a tactical genius because his opponents are going “he can’t possibly be THAT dense” and looking for traps that aren’t there.
To be fair to Luke Skywalker, his aunt and uncle were murdered. He probably would have kept hanging with them if that didn’t happen.
Very few good plans begin with “move to Kentucky”. No disrespect to the good people who live there. I assume most would leave if they could