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The Men’s Rights subreddit declares war on topless women, if it can find any

First with the toplessness, then with the pinching

Men’s Rights activists have to stretch a bit to find new things to get mad about. Right now Men’s Rights Redditors are working themselves into a tizzy because a city in Colorado made it legal for women and girls to go topless.

In 2019.

You see, back in those halcyon days before COVID, the city of Fort Collins, Colorado decided that it wasn’t worth the time or the money to defend a city ordinance forbidding women from exposing their boobs in public.

Now, more than two years later some doofus on the Men’s Rights subreddit named Zogins, who only just heard the news, is warning his fellow MRAs that

Women and young girls allowed to go topless in public. Wait for the avalanche of cases against men because they looked.

Radical feminism is a disease, a rot. A group of women fought for the ‘right’ to be topless like men. So now girls aged 11 and over have the ‘right’ to walk about topless.

I can’t even imagine the number of criminal charges against men for being pedophiles and pervs in the near future.

Zogins found the story on a clickbaity trash site that basically plagiarized an NBC News article on the subject from September 2019 and treated it like it was new news in 2022. He never bothered to track the story to its source. Had he bothered to google “Fort Collins Topless” he would have discovered that the city wasn’t overrun with topless women and girls, and that men were not being arrested en masse (or even en one) for looking at them.

Nonetheless, Zogins has convinced a good number of his fellow MRAs that this is somehow a live issue and a sign of invidious discrimination against men. Indeed, his post has 420 upvotes, making it the top (non-stickied) post in the subreddit right now. Its also inspired nearly 300 comments. MRAs love to get worked up about entirely hypothetical problems.

True, quite a few commenters brush off the “news,” saying that they’re not worried about a tsunami of toplessness. Or that they would welcome something like that. “Looks like I’m moving to Colorado,” one commenter writes.

One big worry of the commenters is the possibility of seeing an ugly woman’s possibly ugly boobs.

“The ones who are desperate enough to go topless are not the kind of women us men would want to see go topless,” writesThrowAway640KB. “I mean, some guys are thirsty enough that anything goes, even decades older or hideously ugly. But still.”

Modsarebrainstems adds,

The day that became legal, my apartment caretaker managed to make the front page news in Ottawa. … The caretaker decided to vacuum the halls topless. Imagine Barbie on fat steroids, coked up and an extra 30 years.

Others detail their plans to thwart the hypothetical topless menace.

Gamernator-GX  writes

A bunch of middle-aged, fat, ugly, butch-haircut feminists going topless isn’t my idea of eye candy. I’d look away quickly and say, “Lady, put your guns away. This is California. Open carry is not legal.” If they’re gonna play that entitled liberal game, I will too, by using their own rules against them. I’ll complain like a Karen and say i was offended, sexually harassed, and since nudity was exposed to my children, she’s a syxual pridator. I’d smile as she’s handcuffed and put in the paddy wagon. Then at court, I’ll cry like a 5 year old girl and say, “Then she looked at me, and I feared she was gonna rape me! I escaped with my life! I’ll never get over this trauma!” Since feminists want to be men (while hating men at the same time makes it so much funnier), she’s not given the womans sentence for sexual harrassment of 4 months, she given the men’s sentence of 40 years. Having enough women like her in prison is a guarantee that our nation’s worst offenders will never die in a flood.

These guys sure have vivid imaginations.

Zogins, the OP, reports that he actually has tried to get topless women arrested before. “In my country,” he notes,

[w]omen are not allowed to be topless even on a beach.

Many women ignore this rule and they sunbathe and swim topless. The police do nothing. …

I was on a beach with a young relative and two women sat down next to us and took off their tops. I felt a little uncomfortable because I was with a young boy and we both did not know where to look. I decided to try an experiment. I phoned the police hotline for reporting crimes and told the female police officer who replied of the two women who were breaking the law next to me. I gave her the name of the beach and directions. She started trying to be funny “It’s a very hot day today. I think they are feeling hot.” But I asked her what she was going to do seeing that the law was being broken right next to me. She told me that she would send a police car. None came.

Poor baby.

Still others work themselves into a lather over a hypothetical epidemic of women grabbing men”s chests. “They do anything that they want without repercussions or correction,” complains stupuff.

Next time a woman touches your chest or anything you didn’t give permission for, call them out. Make them feel scummy for taking license with your body because you’re a man.

Either we all follow the rules or no one does.

Somehow I doubt that women are regularly grabbing this guy’s chest. Or is there really an epidemic of chest-groping going on that I’m not aware of?

A few commenters think this whole thread is as dumb as I think it is.

“This is honestly one of the stupidest posts ive ever seen on here,” complains Skydiver860, “and is an example of posts on here that give people the wrong idea and think we are the bad people.”

Skydiver860, I certainly appreciate you calling out this post. But there are posts as dumb as this up pretty much every day on the Men’s Rights subreddit. If you don’t believe me, just watch.

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GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
1 month ago

@.45: Now that you mention it, I do seem to have described Venus or Serena Williams, or other athletic women of a similar build, but with small boobs so as not to injure themselves whilst bounding across the savanna (or tundra) running away from lions (or bears).

None of whom would have put their nips into any beverage.

Tovius
Tovius
1 month ago

Apparently “Bikini Baristas” are a thing in some places, but I doubt even they use their nipples as stirring sticks.

Prophet309
Prophet309
1 month ago

@Tovius

I misread ‘Barista’ as ‘Barrister’ and wondered what Alan would think. XD

C.A. Collins
C.A. Collins
1 month ago

Bikini barristers would make court a lot less stuffy looking.

(I’m envisioning Leo McKern in a wig and a tasteful two-piece.)

Alan Robertshaw
1 month ago

@ prophet309 & c a collins

Well, it is nearly beach weather. But we’ve just had a memo saying that, even in remote hearings we should wear court dress. I get enough grief for jeans; so a bikini might be pushing it a bit.

Incidentally, Rumpole is a lady now.

https://bleedingcool.com/tv/rumpole-of-the-bailey-to-be-rebooted-with-a-female-rumpole/

Full Metal Ox
1 month ago

@Alan Robertshaw:

Incidentally, Rumpole is a lady now.

https://bleedingcool.com/tv/rumpole-of-the-bailey-to-be-rebooted-with-a-female-rumpole/

In before the usual malcontents who never even followed the series begin frothing about the despoliation of their Precious Little Childhoods.

Last edited 1 month ago by Full Metal Ox
Alan Robertshaw
1 month ago

@ full metal ox

Oh yeah, there have been a few fumbles from the usual suspects here.

https://www.yorkshirepost.co.uk/whats-on/arts-and-entertainment/richard-littlejohn-and-his-ilk-are-wrong-to-bemoan-plans-for-female-rumpole-reboot-anthony-clavane-3328223

Funny enough though the Daily Mail seemed quite positive, or at leats neutral.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-9822067/Sir-John-Mortimers-legendary-lawyer-Rumpole-given-sex-change-daughter-Emily-Mortimer.html

My fellow Rumpole fans and I are quite looking forward to it. To me, there’s only two reasons to do a reboot. The original was a flawed masterpiece, so it’s worth seeing how it would have worked if done properly. Or, you bring something entirely new to the idea.

The original Rumpole series was perfect; and Leo McKern just was Rumpole. So even Benedict Cumberthingy couldn’t step into his shoes. As a standalone his stories were fine; but you just couldn’t get over “He’s not Leo”. And that’s been the same no matter what fine male actors have tried.

So this is really interesting. A wholly new take on the character. And it’s John Mortimer’s daughter behind is. She’s a talented writer in her own right; but she’s presumably going to be respectful of the legacy and source material. So we’re really looking forward to this.

(I have a special affinity for Rumpole. I loved the stories even as a kid. And I ended up in John Mortimer’s chambers. They used to film the exteriors of the TV series there. So we had the fake board up outside with all the characters names on. I’ve had the very weird experience of reading one of the stories which was describing the room I was reading the story in.

We took the board with us when we moved chambers)

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GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
1 month ago

@Alan: So cool that your lot kept the board!

I agree, you couldn’t put any other man into the role, so new Rumpole needs to be a woman.

Bikini barristers would be even more-so than that Python sketch with the campy judges. “Ooh, I banged me little gavel!”

C.A. Collins
C.A. Collins
1 month ago

A female RoB would definitely change some aspects of the show, but McKern was so perfect, I’ll not be happy with just a gender flip, if they then try to present the story as being the same as was.

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
1 month ago

Huh. A new take on Rumpole sounds interesting. I agree that there’s no replacing or even succeeding Leo, so if you’re going to do a new Rumpole, a gender flip avoids the Leo legacy issues AND potentially allows you to tell some new sort of stories. A Rumpole seen through various feminist lenses (second wave vs third wave, as an easy example) gives you some potentially fascinating story possibilities.

Frankly, as long as Rumpole continues to provide a zealous defense of clients, ’tis cool with me.

Alan Robertshaw
1 month ago

I do occasionally use Mortimer/Rumpole quotes.

“How can I ever thank you!”

“Ever since the Phoenicians invented money there’s only been one answer to that question.”

“Of course; and how would you like the cash?”

“Preferably in enormous quantities.”

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