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antifeminist women double standard marital rape misogyny rape culture

The Transformed Wife, Part 2: The Joys of Obligatory Married Sex

Looking forward to a life of unwanted sex with this dude

Yesterday, we looked at some of the Twitter “teachings” of The Transformed Wife, a reactionary pro-am housewife with strong feelings about Jesus, fornication, and witchcraft. (Not all at the same time.)

Last time we focused on her thoughts on the aforementioned witches; this time I wanted to take a look at her rather perverse understanding of love and sex.

Strangely, for someone so obsessed with the benefits of good Christian marriage, she has relatively little to say about love between husband and wife. Love of children, sure. Love of God, even better. Actually loving the person you’re married to? Not so much, unless “love” is paired with the word “submit.”

By contrast, she has a lot to say about sex, both the bad kind (out-of-wedlock fornication) and the good kind (in a Christian marriage). Like the word “love,” the word “sex” is often paired with the word “submit.” Because The Transformed Wife doesn’t think married women have the right to refuse their husbands’ demands for sex.

To be fair, The Transformed Wife thinks wives should submit to their husbands in every arena of life, not just sex.

This submission is essential even if the dude is a real piece of shit.

And it doesn’t matter if you’re not in the mood; God doesn’t want you to say “no.”

When a husband wants sex all the time, she suggests it’s a sort of compliment.

She goes as far as to suggest that saying “no” to your husband is a kind of abuse.

Just as former PUA Roosh V’s “seduction” tips were a formula for date rape, so the Transformed Wife’s Twitter teachings are a formula for marital rape. She denies it, of course, but the evidence is right there in her tweets.

What’s so hard to understand about no means no?

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Dormousing_it
Dormousing_it
10 months ago

I don’t understand how this “A wife – or husband, for that matter – must always submit to sex, if their partner wants it” is supposed to work. Is the wife supposed to put on an act of being aroused and desirous of sex? If she did put on an act, wouldn’t she be guilty of deceiving her husband? What if it’s obvious she isn’t interested, for example, she can’t produce enough natural lubrication? Is it OK for her to apply plenty of KY Jelly, and lie on her back?

I really don’t expect answers to these questions.

I remember reading about a man who was a sex addict, and he insisted on fellatio from his wife, every day after work, no matter how she felt. Honestly, that’s not pleasant, but it’d be preferable to me over unwanted PIV sex every day.

1Q84
1Q84
10 months ago

“If I lie ALL the time, with literally EVERY breath and every formed thought, nothing real can prove that I’m miserable and angry and very, very, lonely and afraid! Be miserable with me! Misery does love company! PS – Whites only at my table.”

Gregory Lynn
Gregory Lynn
10 months ago

I’m convinced this kind of Christian and the husbands they submit to have never really loved anyone in their lives and haven’t a damn clue what love is.

bcb
bcb
10 months ago

So in the very same tweet, she said both

Women are not forced to do anything in God’s economy.

And

God commands women submit to their husbands, be keepers at home, chaste, good, sober, quiet in the churches, etc.

bcb
bcb
10 months ago

Also, she’s a hypocrite (again): in a more recent tweet, she claims you shouldn’t wear a mask, because “Doing what other people want you to do is not loving others.”
https://twitter.com/godlywomanhood/status/1425131774854803456

So she wants you to have sex when some guy tells you to, but not wear a mask when actual experts say you should.

Ninja Socialist
Ninja Socialist
10 months ago

It’s amazing how this always works out to the man’s advantage.

GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
10 months ago

For someone so fond of quoting Paul, she sure ignores that whole “no women can preach” part.

Get off Twitter and get back into the bedroom and kitchen.

epronovost
epronovost
10 months ago

I was thinking more about her and her views and it dawns into me. Is it me or his her domination fetishism not very safe, sane and consensual?

Beyond Ocean
Beyond Ocean
10 months ago

Others have described the moral aspects of Transformed Wife’s postings well enough, but there’s one more practical issue I wonder about.

If a wife can never criticize or disagree with her husband, and isn’t allowed to have any minimal expectations of decency from him, then can she criticize him before they’re married? Can she discriminate who she wants to marry based on what kind of people they are, since clearly she can’t after she takes the vow?

The logical conclusion of Transformed Wife’s worldview is being infinitely picky during courtship. Actually, since she seems to believe that for women sex is just a duty and drudgery, the optimal choice is not to get married at all. It’s been clearly established (as others mentioned) that marriage in new testament is only treated as means to avoid sexual sins.

And that’s all fine but I suspect that Transformed Wife would disagree with any of these conclusions. I wonder what reasons she would give that women are actually obliged to marry at 18 the first man they talked to for longer than fifteen minutes, or something. Or maybe she believes we should go to the good old “parents select an eligible man for you, no questions asked”.

I’m curious, but I’m not sure I wanna know.

talacaris
talacaris
10 months ago
rabid rabbit
rabid rabbit
10 months ago

So, if wives are to be so submitted to their husbands, it sounds like they’re not allowed to do anything without the husbands telling them to. Logically, then, these are not her own thoughts, just propaganda that her husband is forcing this poor abused woman to spew. We must mount a rescue mission at once!

Gerald Fnord
Gerald Fnord
10 months ago

I suspect her of being two thirteen-year-old-boys in a ‘lady’-suit.

Some Chick
Some Chick
10 months ago

Who did God have in mind when He commanded spouses not to deny each other? Both people, he had both people in mind. Also, if you aren’t commanding men to love their wives as Christ loved the church, then I think we’re free to ignore your commands to women. Because in the bible, they’re literally part of the same sentence. Cherrypicking a$$holes.

redmanticore
redmanticore
9 months ago

I do see the opposite in progressive media, that when a man denies a woman sex or companionship, it is akin to emotional abuse, which sends a woman to an existential crisis about her worth. so I would imagine, the opposite is true, too.

many writers here are even hypocrites; they themselves fetishize using power, yet condemns others who do it, too. like @IgnoreSandra who lives in a submissive relationship, but just because it’s BDSM side and not the Christian side, it’s supposed to be bad. rules for thee but not for me?

and when talking of submission as a fetish, why is it always women talking about it that makes many writers “rage”, but if women are dominant ones, it is then okay?
if women and men consent to “not consenting”, so that the woman can have sex whenever she wants from the man, then it’s okay?
and if the submission is done through the progressive lens, like in @IgnoreSandra case here, then it is okay, too? @IgnoreSandra only complained that this woman talked about it “publically”… while doing the same herself, here.
I do not think you need to hide by not talking if you yourself are talking, too.

it is the exact same thing, the fetishization of power, which many find exciting, natural to them, and you nor anyone can change that. it can be the very essence, that prevents women, and men, from having dead bedrooms in 3 years into their marriage. and why would you judge what others do in the privacy of their bedrooms? strange that you would, as progressives. that do fetishization in the privacy of your own bedrooms, and in not so private, quite publically, in the media.

ALC
ALC
1 month ago

“I do see the opposite in progressive media, that when a man denies a woman sex or companionship, it is akin to emotional abuse, which sends a woman to an existential crisis about her worth. so I would imagine, the opposite is true, too.”

ALC
ALC
1 month ago

@ redmanticore

“I do see the opposite in progressive media, that when a man denies a woman sex or companionship, it is akin to emotional abuse, which sends a woman to an existential crisis about her worth. so I would imagine, the opposite is true, too.”

— I haven’t seen the media you’re referring to, but I’m pretty sure both are false. A person with a healthy mindset should not have “an existential crisis about [their] worth” because someone doesn’t want to have sex with them.

“many writers here are even hypocrites; they themselves fetishize using power, yet condemns others who do it, too. like @IgnoreSandra who lives in a submissive relationship, but just because it’s BDSM side and not the Christian side, it’s supposed to be bad. rules for thee but not for me?”

— I don’t think people are condemning the Transformed Wife for fetishizing power herself, but for teaching ALL couples (well, all women, since she says she doesn’t teach men) to follow her example.

It’s not that being submissive in a BDSM relationship is good and being submissive in a Christian relationship is bad, it’s the fact that (ideally at least) participating in BDSM should be an individual choice, whereas many (not all) Christians teach that this is the only acceptable kind of relationship and ~everyone~ should do it, even if they don’t like it.

“and when talking of submission as a fetish, why is it always women talking about it that makes many writers “rage”, but if women are dominant ones, it is then okay?”

— Not sure who you’re quoting with “rage.”

Relationships with a dominant woman and a submissive man are fine if all parties are consenting and no one is forced. Same as relationships with a dominant man and submissive woman. And same sex relationships. Just don’t insist your type of relationship is for everyone whether they like it or not.

“it is the exact same thing, the fetishization of power, which many find exciting, natural to them, and you nor anyone can change that. it can be the very essence, that prevents women, and men, from having dead bedrooms in 3 years into their marriage. and why would you judge what others do in the privacy of their bedrooms? strange that you would, as progressives. that do fetishization in the privacy of your own bedrooms, and in not so private, quite publically, in the media.”

— People here aren’t judging the Transformed Wife for fetishizing power. Or for what she does in the privacy of her own bedroom.

They’re judging her for teaching all women that they MUST submit to their husbands, even if they don’t want to. For saying they don’t have the right to say no, even when they want to say no. For telling other couples what to do in the privacy of THEIR own bedrooms.

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