anti-Semitism chad conspiracy theory creepy incels misogyny pedophiles oh sorry ephebophiles

“The Jews are behind the simultaneous hypersexualization and sexual segregation of fertile teenagers from the wider male population,” incel declares

We live in an age unusually receptive to conspiracy theory — with a veritable army of QAnoners caught up in baroque, sadistic theories of retribution against political and cultural elites; with the vast majority of Republicans believing (or purporting to believe) that, actually, Donald Trump won the election; and with a cohort of Americans convinced that Bill Gates is planning to plant microchips in their bodies with a vaccine shot.

Despite all of this competition, incels still manage to put forth their own conspiracy theories that are just as creative as any flat-earther’s. And the incels’ theories have the added benefit of kind of making you sick to your stomach whenever you encounter them in the wild.

Consider the “blackpilled” antisemite calling himself GameDevCel who recently proposed, in a post on the BlackpillClub forums, that “[t]he Jews are behind the simultaneous hypersexualization and sexual segregation of fertile teenagers from the wider male population.”

In other words, he’s complaining that the Jews allegedly in charge of the entertainment business and cultural norms are hypersexualizing “fertile teenagers” — a.k.a. underage girls — yet not letting older dudes fuck them. Which is clearly, in the OP’s mind, a terrible way to simultaneously frustrate and oppress the hapless adult male, especially if he’s an incel.

GameDevCel tries his best to explain the consequences of this dastardly Jewish plot in a rant that is muddled and confusing and wrong on every count.

yeah its called feminism and the (((elite))) have been pushing it for extra sheckles in taxing women’s labor and breaking up the family unit for easily controllable docile citizens.

You know, if you plan to be an out-and-proud antisemite, you should probably know how to spell “shekels.”

These state run indoctornation factories called schools are used to mold the young minds in the way the government wants along with welfare programs to incentivize shitskin [Black] like breeding strategies.

What what what? Even if we set aside the racism here, none of this is making any sense. The “(((elites)))” are “hypersexualizing” teen girls in school? How? Why?

Seriously, dude, the only people here “hypersexualizing” teen girls are you perverts. It’s telling that the only examples of this sort of “hypersexualization” anyone in this thread can offer are 1) the movie Cuties, 2) parents taking their kids to gay pride parades, and 3) a St. Louis couple teaching their 3 and 5 year old daughters to pole dance.

But let’s get back to GameDevCel’s rant

It is why colleges are pushed so hard so white women can get fucked by multiple Chads and settle down with some beta provider in late 20s and have a few autistic kids in their 30s.

The point of higher education is to provide a place for “white women [to] get fucked by multiple Chads?” Why would colleges even bother to teach anything if that’s the goal?

They love any fornication except for an older established man mentally and financially ready to start a family with a 14 year old virgin, which is the hallmark of stable well adjusted societies.

Are you Woody Allen, because this sounds suspiciously like the plot to Manhattan. (Oh, but the girl in that movie is supposed to be 16. Sorry.)

The kikes hate this, hence all the shit they spew in the mainsteam media.

Ok, I guess this isn’t Woody Allen writing this.

>tl;dr marry a virgin no matter how young and homeschool the children

Don’t even consider marrying anyone, incels, until you’ve drained all the toxic sludge from your brains.

Naturally, several other commenters offered their own take on the alleged evil of keeping middle-aged men from raping “fertile teens.”

According to a commenter called Nihilistcorpse,

Only Chad can get something like this

Something like what? A 14-year-old bride?

while an Incel would be caught before it even began or if he’s a rich motherfucker with Joolywood connections, it’s the only reason why you see Chads deflowering virgins left and right while a non-Chad doesn’t even get the chance.

Either way, it’s over for us and stuff like this ain’t in our own favor.

Another commenter, berserkercel, offers his reflections on what he calls the “lie of ‘female independence,'” suggesting that the forces of world capitalism (or perhaps the alleged worldwide Jewish conspiracy) were pushing women into the workplace for short term monetary gains. For some reason the alleged (((elites)) also insist on

Making ages 12-17 “paedophilia” in the eyes of the UK public. So men only marry used up foids who can’t pairbond with the inevitable subsequent divorces of roastie foids. Creating legal fees and inheritance tax for the tax-man under the guise of “feminism” and “protecting vulnerable women”. …

Not to mention lowering the western birth rate (successfully) by using women’s own nature artificial, and socially unacceptable (back in the day), hypergamy against them. By saying they- foids- are entitled to Chad as a boyfriend, fuck buddy and Father sperm donor through shit femsperg magazines on any Supermarket shelf.

Hence the rise of the facebook dog lady.

It’s over.

If any of that makes sense to you, well, I’m impressed. I read this shit for a living and I can understand only about half of that word vomit.

The only thing that’s clear is that these guys really do need to be, well, segregated from “fertile teens” and adult women alike.

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249 replies on ““The Jews are behind the simultaneous hypersexualization and sexual segregation of fertile teenagers from the wider male population,” incel declares”


They offered me surgery for it but I decided the cure would be worse than the ailment in that case.

@GSS ex-noob
The CSRs at Bell Canada do not deserve Surplus’s ire. No one does. Surplus is unwarranted in his anger at this, as he usually is about the most mild of inconveniences.

@ Surplus,

I don’t usually weigh on in this kind of thing, but…well, I recognize myself in your comments here, so I wanted to speak up.

I’ve also got a tendency to take things very personally (for me it usually manifests as thinking people are angry with me when there’s no evidence to suggest that). I don’t say this to make it all about me, but just to say that this kind of thing:

There’s nothing in my recent choices that I can think of where this kick to my face would be a legitimate consequence, in particular.

is hurting you. I used to do this to myself; I still do sometimes, and it SUCKS.

I don’t really have any specific steps or easy solutions for you to help you get through this sense that you are being personally attacked. For one, every person’s situation is different; for another, I’ve seen you shoot down advice in the past. However, I will say that ultimately the only way any human gets through anything is to build community. By that I mean to give as well as to take.

You have a community here on WHTM. I’ve read your comments, and the responses to them, for a while now on this site. I feel like everyone here likes you and has lots of time for you.

The thing that gets me through my feelings of the world being out to get me is reminding myself that there exist actual people who like me, and, crucially, to help and to be there for others in whatever way I can. It doesn’t have to be big ways; there’s a saying that even a smile is charity. I’m not trying to give you any pat answers, but…well, you sound like you’re in pain, and I wanted to say that I see it, I acknowledge that it feels very real to you even if the specifics don’t resonate with me, and I get the sense that the folks here wish you well. And you also have lots to offer. I hope that helps, even if only a little.

@ kupo and dallilama,

That sounds like a lot of pain for very little gain! What would the surgery involve?

Seems they can actually do a full joint replacement these days, they didn’t used to. I suppose that one would probably last some years, those are good for a decade or two these days. Otherwise they go in and shave away bits of bone or cartilage that look like being in the way, or sometimes cut apart soft tissue* adhesions**. Your general assessment is correct.

*if it’s purely a soft tissue problem, surgery will almost never help

**This is possibly the worst way to accomplish this

@ Dalillama,

Otherwise they go in and shave away bits of bone or cartilage that look like being in the way, or sometimes cut apart soft tissue* adhesions**.


Whew. Yup, sounds nasty. I guess if it was SERIOUSLY impacting your quality of life it’d be worth a go, but if not, ouch.

I was selected to be a bone marrow donor once. They explained the alternative procedures to me.

“We can either do stem cells or bone marrow donation. With stem cells the side affects include nausea, vomiting, tiredness, bleeding from the mouth, and diarrhoea.”

“Ooh, what are the side effects of the other one?”

“We drill a hole in your hip”

@Bookworm in hijab

Welcome to the “blockquote mammoth attack survivor’” club! Congratulations on avoiding it for so long. 🙂


When “drilling a hole in your hip” seems like the more preferable side effect of a procedure… O_o;;;

@ Banananananana

 the more preferable side effect

It sort of was. They normally do it under general anaesthetic; but I went ‘no frikkin way’ (I’ve read too many Robin Cook books). So they said the alternative was just pumping me full of diamorphine. I couldn’t see a downside.


In other news, if people will forgive the self promotion. A podcast about art law; but we do cover some social justice issues that may be of interest to people here. Time index on the page.


I’d probably have done general myself. I’m not sure what diamorphine would do, but given that with me and vicodin there’s a fine line between not feeling pain and puking my guts out (found out the hard way) I think I’d rather not be awake for the Black n’ Decker noises.

@ Banananananana

I’m the same with oral opiates. I had an abscess recently and the pharmacist recommend cocodimol. I said that they gave me “tummy trouble”. He announced to the entire shop ‘Oh, usually it’s just constipation.”; “I know; I was trying to be euphemistic!”

But I was curious about intravenous. A mate had it after he’d had a skull fracture and he said it was the best thing ever and worth the big dint in his head.

Not gonna lie, I’m a little jealous of folks who can handle opiate pain killers.

I’m don’t have gastrointestinal problems; my brain just flips out because I know I’m not sleep deprived, but it’s acting like I’m sleep deprived, and I may have some control issues. Painkillers = crying mess + panic. Not fun times.

Not gonna lie, I’m a little jealous of folks who can handle opiate pain killers.

Same. It’d have been useful if the damned things worked on me, given my job and it’s associated damages, but I take them I either sleep for a day or become somewhat unreasonably violent. Seems random which happens, the odd couple times I’ve been given them.

On oral opiate painkillers, my limited experience is that they weren’t much impressive, or maybe dosing was too low. I wasn’t in too much pain anyway, so didn’t bother to ask for more.

However, the mild constipation side effect was very welcome especially during my two hospital stays, when toilet use & personal hygiene was somewhat impractical for assorted reasons. I have IBS that normally makes my pooping annoyingly frequent and difficult to clean, especially if I’m not microdosing on Imodium.

I thought Surplus was kidding for effect. o_O My bad.

When that happens to me, I say “darn it” and look online for when my show is going to be on next, or stream it if it isn’t scheduled again. It’s just TV.

I love opiates. Other than the poo problem, yeowch.

I had to have surgery and I got a nerve block. No feeling in the surgery area for 24 hours. I could sleep the night after surgery! Not like I was going to be moving that area a lot anyway. General anesthesia makes me so nauseous for a couple days afterwards that I can’t eat, but that time I got some pill that almost fixed that. 10/10, would let the same people cut me open again.

@Lumipuna: Imodium attaches to the opioid receptors, which is how it works. Just not for the pain part.

@GSS noob
Oh, if only a nerve block was literal and not just a targeted injection of regular local anaesthetics. They tried to give me one when I was in hospital with the tip of my thumb off, and I had to argue with them for the better part of a half hour to get them to quit trying to numb the digit and start trying to stanch the bleeding before I went back into shock.

@ GSS ex-noob

I’ve had two nerve blocks. The first was in my armpit when I had to have surgery on my wrist. Apparently it was the most painful thing I’ve ever felt up to that point – I say apparently because they’d already given me some kind of medication that made me not remember the block itself. My dad was with me and he told me afterward that I told him I’d never felt anything worse. Is it really pain if we don’t remember it?

The other was in my toe when I needed surgery on my toenail. That one I remember and it gives me the creepy-crawlies when I remember it. It didn’t hurt so much as it just creeped me out.

So nerve blocks = not the greatest thing for me at least.


When that happens to me, I say “darn it” and look online for when my show is going to be on next, or stream it if it isn’t scheduled again. It’s just TV.

It’s not that, so much as that the listing said that the show was on, and then something yanked it away from me literally at the second it was scheduled to start airing. Think “Lucy yanking away the football”. That’s a dick move, any way you slice it. And I disagree with anyone who suggests that I somehow deserved it.

(Is the use of the phrase “dick move” misandrist???)

@Bookworm in hijab:

I acknowledge that it feels very real to you even if the specifics don’t resonate with me, and I get the sense that the folks here wish you well.

The Kupo post directly above yours would seem to contradict that.

And you also have lots to offer.

That’s not the message I get from pretty much any other source than a proper subset of the people posting here.

It’s certainly not the message I got when, diploma fresh in hand in an in-demand field, I emailed out résumés to various companies allegedly hiring in that field and never heard anything back. Not one interview, not so much as a single “we regret to inform you…” letter, nothing. I might as well have emailed them all directly to Saggitarius A* for all that there’s any evidence they ever even got read by a human.

And it’s not actually hard to see why. In a world of cutthroat competition there will always be a better qualified candidate, with probability one, especially if you’re a fresh graduate and there are out-of-work people with ten or twenty years of industry experience angling for the same job. They took away all the entry-level jobs. Nobody fresh out of school has anything to contribute, according to corporate HR managers as a collective. Nor does anybody who’s been unemployed the whole time since then. Nobody of my generation can seemingly get anything but McJobs unless they’re a downright prodigy or they have connections.

It’s also not the message I get when authority figures, big businesses, and the like capriciously screw with me for no obvious reason and then are totally unreachable and unaccountable to any sort of feedback from mere peons like their customers.

It’s also not the message I get when everything from Instacart to the entertainment industry to the supposedly-universal health care system of Ontario tells me that I’m not in an expensive enough zipcode to qualify for personhood — please move to a suburb or the downtown of a large city and pay $2000 or more a month in rent or mortgage payments if you want any services from us going forward. Otherwise, no deliveries, doctor, or new entertainment for you, except for emergency care and a dwindling set of “traditional” broadcast TV shows that we randomly yank and rearrange from our schedules without warning at a whim so you can’t rely on them. (Instacart actually went so far as to literally claim that my postal code was not “a valid Canadian postal code” at all, apparently because it wasn’t an expensive enough one. The others are less explicit, but say the same thing between the proverbial lines.)

It’s also not the message I get when the following ludicrous sequence of events happens in a Facebook group:

  • Someone posts a post, which FB glitches up in some manner for unknown reasons.
  • I get a notification about that post. Not just once, but at least ten or so repeated popups notifying me about the same post. Evidently FB’s algorithms think I will be very interested in this particular post. Not one to argue with those algorithms I attempt to view it.
  • The group loads, but instead of a “from notifications” section with the post in question followed by a “new activity” section with the rest of the group’s contents, there’s just the “new activity” section, with that heading duplicated with just a blank line or two between the copies. No sign of the post at issue, though perhaps if I scrolled down for half an hour or so I might eventually happen across it that way.
  • A second attempt produces similar results, though without the odd duplication of the “new activity” header. So does attempting a right click “open in new tab”. The latter results in a new tab where Facebook’s notification menu won’t open fully, producing a very blurry and faded unusable menu that remains that way indefinitely, as well as lacking a “from notifications” section.
  • The polite thing to do, obviously, is to let the post’s author know that something went wrong. Certainly if one of my own posts was not showing up for other people I’d want to know about it and fix or re-post it. And it’s not always obvious to a poster that something has gone wrong. The post may look normal to them, but show “attachment unavailable” or similarly for other people, if it embeds an image with different (narrower) permissions than the post’s own, for example. This is a common enough occurrence on Facebook that there are memes about it there. And if that can happen, it’s certainly not beyond the pale that a post might glitch in other ways for other people while appearing normally to its own author, and they would never know there was a problem if nobody notified them, at least not until it had been there a while without getting any likes or comments.
  • So, I posted a note in the group tagging the author of the misbehaving post to let them know that their recent contribution to the group was not showing up properly. Problem is, Facebook ate the post. It didn’t give an error message, but neither did the post appear the way they normally do immediately after the “posting…” thingy disappears. I refreshed the page, nothing; I looked at my activity log, and there was no evidence there that I’d even made the attempt. Definitely something glitchy going on in that group then! I don’t know if this is the same thing that happened to the post I got a notification about, but can’t rule it out.
  • Needless to say, the next thing I tried was simply reposting the same note, as maybe its instant disappearance was just a one-off. Nope. The second attempt likewise just vanished into the air.
  • So, I found another post and added an “OT, but…” comment on that post, tagging the author of the original glitched post, and alerting them to the glitch. That comment appeared to post successfully, but by now I was extremely distrustful of Facebook, particularly in that particular group, doing what it was supposed to do. I reloaded the page and the comment was gone! It had not actually been saved to the server, apparently, just inserted into the DOM at the client side.
  • Stranger than that, upon that reload none of the posts in the group had a comment input form anymore, just a note claiming that a moderator had turned off commenting for that post. On every post.
  • Out of options (short of sending someone I don’t know, even as an online acquaintance, a friend request so I could DM them about their glitched post), I DMed the group’s mod to alert them to the strange goings-on and the fact that the last glitch had disabled commenting throughout the group they moderate (and that glitch was blaming them for doing so!) … and after hours, there was no reply. During that time, indicators let me know that the mod had spent some time online and had read my message. Now we get to the “are my contributions valued?” relevant part: this moderator definitely had read my message … and chose to completely ignore it.
  • I inquired after the lack of a response, and actually got a kind of response this time: the moderator, without saying a word, disabled my posting privileges in the affected group (or rather, re-enabled everyone else’s); the message changed from saying a moderator had turned off commenting for each individual post to saying a moderator had turned off my ability to comment or to post top-level posts.
  • I sent another DM pointing out that this constituted a childish way of handling the situation and saying that it was important that the poster of the original glitched post find out that something had gone wrong as early as possible, as it was more likely they would remember what post it was and be able to redo or find-and-fix it if it was fresher in their memory. I also pointed out that, as near as I could tell, the mod was acting intentionally to obstruct me from doing the polite thing and letting another user know about a problem that they might otherwise not know about, and asking why they would do something so blatantly antisocial, and then went to bed.
  • The next morning there was still no response, though the new messages had been read sometime during the night. So I resorted to taking a screenshot and posting it publicly on my own wall, redacting everything irrelevant from the screenshot and pointing out that this was the consequence of their refusal to communicate with me, or let me communicate with the user whose post they needed to know had gotten glitched.
  • This garnered a response, in the form of a voice message — clearly a passive-aggressive move intended to obstruct any further use of screenshots to publicly expose their behavior. In this voice message, I was berated for “wasting the moderator’s time” and more or less told to shut up, and I was also accused of “inappropriate thread hijacking” in posting my third attempt at that note as a comment on an existing post. In the process basically admitting that they had actively censored that comment.
  • My response (a normal text DM) pointed out, of course, that the moderator wasted their own time — they chose to proactively butt into my attempts to notify a third party about a problem affecting one of their posts to the group, so they had some chutzpah accusing me of wasting their time when in fact they had wasted my time (by then, at least a cumulative half-hour of it) by not simply sitting on the sidelines. I pointed out that had they not interfered, the third, at least, of my attempts to contact the other user would have succeeded, they would have repaired or redone their affected posting (ideally) and thanked me for the heads-up, and its purpose having been served I’d have then deleted my note to them myself to de-clutter the group, and everyone would have carried on happily. So the only person responsible for wasting both my time and theirs was themselves. As for the “inappropriate thread hijacking”, I pointed out that that was an inevitable consequence of circumstances beyond my control: if FB hadn’t eaten both my attempts to make a separate, top-level post to do the notification, I’d have never posted it into a comment on an otherwise-unrelated post in the first place. So either FB was responsible, or they were, yet again, in the event that it was something they had done that had caused FB to eat those posts. (Though that is unlikely; the posts didn’t appear normally but vanish after some non-zero elapsed time, unlike the comment — if it was the moderator’s meddling, it would have to have been by setting up an automated filter, and probably I’d have then received an error message on the attempt … and they’d have had to have known in advance that all of this was going to happen and proactively set up a filter just to catch my attempt to alert the other user. Which would mean the mod had caused the original glitch with the other user’s post as well, and that the entire thing was an elaborate and intentional prank on two of the group’s users. This would, of course, constitute a massive dick move and proof of unfitness to be a group mod, but it’s also an improbable conspiracy theory.)
  • Those DMs have been seen as well, as of this afternoon, but have apparently been ignored (though my posting privileges in the group were restored eventually).
  • After all of this ridiculous hoop-jumping and rigmarole, the original poster of the malfunctioning post that precipitated this entire chain of events still has not been successfully notified that their post got glitched, unless the mod notified them, which I doubt given that it would be inconsistent with their otherwise dickish and obstructive behavior.

I have lots to offer? Not according to any of these various sources. And before you argue that these are isolated incidents, they are not. There is a pervasive pattern my whole life where very few people seem to do much more than tolerate me. Things I post to FB publicly get single digit likes, while I see plenty of other people’s posts getting dozens and even hundreds. I get small amounts of praise or notice for contributions here and there, to be sure, but generally from a minority of the people in a place, while the rest largely ignore me and some act as though I am a nuisance they would like to get rid of. In most places there’s one or two people who seem to view me as valuable … as entertainment through pranks and other antisocial behavior directed at me. In no places has any authority figure ever taken my side if I’ve escalated to them regarding such behavior. There’s always some group that goes out of its way to try to make me feel unwelcome, and in online environments there’s almost always a moderator who does dickish and abusive things to me capriciously from time to time. No authority figure ever takes the time to listen to my side of anything, no matter how reasonable I have been and how unreasonable the other side demonstrably is — the vast majority of authority figures consider that in any dispute between me and any other person I am automatically the one in the wrong, facts be damned. In most places I’m invisible unless I make an overt fuss, and then I’m treated as a nuisance. People then behave as if I myself am the problem, rather than whatever problem I am trying to call attention to. The clear message is that I am a child in pre-modern times who should be “seen and not heard” in any situation short of the house being on fire. My needs, modest though they are, are unimportant. It’s far more important that I not bother anybody else by ever reminding them that I have any needs, or problems. I must do everything and solve every problem myself, and wholly by myself. I can never take a day off, even if I’m sick or something, and have something done for me on that day. If I take a day off, then nothing gets done on that day. No one else will feed the cat, or replenish my own pantry, or get showered and dressed and take the rent check down the hall to the office on the first of the month. No one will step in, even if it’s literally their job to do so, to slap down a bully who is harassing me; I must somehow deal with the bully completely on my own, with almost no resources of any sort. And so on, and so forth. Beyond the most basic, most impersonally transactional things (rent, utilities, such highly scripted rituals as exchanging coins for an object at a shop), I get almost no recognition even of my existence as a human being from all but a very narrow sliver of the population, a percent or two at most. No one talks to me. No one has time for me. I have an actual conversation of some sort maybe once or twice a month. I am almost an unperson. I’m guessing that would change if I actually had money, but then I’d also have people trying to take advantage of me to get at that money, and even less ability to trust anyone without being hurt. Not that I have much ability even now. Not when groups have pretended to include me, only to then ditch me after a while (leaving me stranded in an unfamiliar part of the city I was in at the time, natch). Not when I’ve had someone friend me on Facebook, respond positively to several things I posted or showed them, and then abruptly I start getting “the message failed to send” and when I attempt to go to their profile page and leave a note on their wall saying that something’s gone wrong with the DM session and I didn’t mean to be rude and ignore them, I discover that their profile is gone and apparently they deleted their FB account entirely and vanished into the night … without any indication of acrimony or trouble at all literally five minutes earlier. About as large a percentage of people deliberately dick around with me as the fraction who seem to see me as an actual person. Maybe one or two in a hundred.

You’d think I might be expressing skepticism of your claim that I have something to offer, but no, actually, I’m not. I do think I have something to offer. I just have no faith that anyone else much will agree, or even care. The world has come to a consensus decision to reject me, with proportionately as few people dissenting from that consensus as the Green Party has seats in Parliament. So, not enough to carry any motion. Not enough to even get anything of significance to the floor, or to get enough air time in Question Period to have even the tiniest bit of influence over anything important.

Thanks, though, for being one of those few dissenters.


You know, I have a problem with Facebook too. It seems no matter what browser on my computer or phone I use, scrolling down more than a couple “pages”, if you will, will cause it to freeze and crash, especially if there are videos involved.

Now, the way I see it, I have several options to deal with it:

A) Write/send/whatever long winded complaints the length of a Robert Jorden novel demanding that I get what they are legally required to give me. This will come across as passive-aggressive and condescending, and is highly unlikely to get me anywhere.

B) Send a number of shorter and simpler requests for help with the problem. Likely to take a while for someone to actually figure out the problem or offer up advice that is straight forward enough for me to follow and fix it.

C) Google my ass off and try to fiddle with settings and browsers until I manage to find a fix. Also likely to take forever and a year.

D) Not bother with any of it and not use a program made and operated by some people with questionable ethics anyway.

I have chosen option D, while you seem to prefer A.

@ Lumipuna,

I had to take oral knock-you-out-drugs when I had my wisdom teeth out. Somehow they hit me so hard that not only was I unconscious for the surgery, I was unconscious/semi-conscious for the better part of the next three days.

The other side effect is that I seem to have permanently lost my taste for chocolate pudding, which I rate as a far worse consequence than the effects of the medication.

I’m probably making a huge mistake, but…


It sucks that you feel alone. Lots of people feel alone and frustrated. But, if we are to survive, us lonely people need to figure out how to pick our battles and find things to not hate.

Some things in the massive wall of text that stood out as things that might help:

1) Don’t look at comment/like counts or social media analytics. Just don’t look. Don’t. Definitely read and respond to comments if you like, but don’t mind the counts.

I too have a Facebook, Twitter, and a Tumblr. I just checked, and my total notes count (reboots+likes) on Tumblr for the past month was 6. Scrolling through my tweets, and the most likes was 2 – my best friend and the person that post was a retweet of. Most had nada. My Facebook comments and posts are almost exclusively pristine, except for when my old music director or my mother drop in.

Does this mean I’m hated, ignored, or unloved? Not really. It just means that Facebook and social media is so saturated with content that most normal folks like you and I are hidden beneath the tide line.

Don’t judge your own worth with content farms. The internet is good for screaming into a void, but don’t expect the void to chat back.

2) Not every windmill needs to be tilted at. I’m not sure how to explain it, but if you can figure out how to let some things go and laugh them off instead of shoving them in your bundle of things to seethe about, you can save your energy for dealing with actual giant problems.

Also, people really don’t like dealing with unhappy or intense people. Is this fair? No. Is it human? Yes. By being more selective in thing s to get really upset by, you save yourself more stuff for the bonding with fellow humans through shared helpless laughter at the absurdity and inconvenience of our existence.

3) You are not alone in your experiences, even if it feels that way. Tell yourself this, often.

For instance,

If I take a day off, then nothing gets done on that day. No one else will feed the cat, or replenish my own pantry, or get showered and dressed and take the rent check down the hall to the office on the first of the month.

Me too, buddy. Me too. Only dog not cat. Every single human living alone in a rental with a pet. You are not alone.

I wish you happiness, and am sorry you are hurting. You are not alone, on this tiny blue marble hurtling through space, even when it feels that way.

Maybe get off Facebook for a bit, though.

@Dalillama: I must have gotten the extra-fancy deluxe nerve block, because I literally couldn’t feel anything there for 24 hours. It was by the anesthesiologist, who presumably knew her stuff more than ER docs. I was already out by the time it happened. Which, on one hand was great, but on the other hand when it wore off — YEOW! Then the opioids were needful. And I didn’t mind not having to poop for a couple days, because it hurt.

They do permanent nerve blocks sometimes, killing it when nothing else works. But they try long-lasting temporary ones first.

@Policy: Versed is a hell of a drug. I had a colonoscopy on that and presumably there was pain, but I don’t remember it. Just getting something in my IV and then waking up in recovery.

Facebook sucks unless you are a big company. I’m still in touch with people on a mailing list we set up back around 1991. There are no ads, no conspiracy theorists, and nobody I don’t like. Billions of people have perfectly good lives without it.

My husband has it, and the only reason he gets likes at all is that he comes from a big family and they’re contractually obligated. My family’s down to 2, and the other one doesn’t have a computer. We *talk on the phone* for about an hour a week — I finally got him to get a flip phone last year.

The Kupo post directly above yours would seem to contradict that.

I said the CSRs don’t deserve your abuse because you’ve mentioned in the past that you abuse CSRs when you don’t get your way (same way you abuse us when we can’t give you a magic button to fix your problems), and they in fact do not deserve that. No one deserves the way you treat people when you get mildly inconvenienced.

I’ve also expressed empathy for you when you’re having a rough time but you ignore those comments. Probably because I’m usually urging you to actually take action to fix the problem and we all know you refuse to do that.

@GSS ex-noob
I have an unusually high resistance to local anaesthetics. Less pain is doable, no pain really isn’t, no matter how much they pump into me. Dental work is no fun.

@GSS ex-noob

There are no ads, no conspiracy theorists, and nobody I don’t like.

This is the main reason I’m still on the mammoth. It’s much friendlier than some of the other sites I’m on like Twitter.


Me too, buddy. Me too. Only dog not cat. Every single human living alone in a rental with a pet. You are not alone.

I expect most such people have someone they know whom they can call to come over and help with some things for a while, once in a while. Not me.

@various who singled out Facebook as problematic:

Facebook was only one example. The phenomenon in question is pervasive, on and off of the internet in general.


Probably because I’m usually urging you to actually take action to fix the problem and we all know you refuse to do that.

For values of “refuse to do that” that include, variously, “have no idea how to do that”, “can’t afford to do that”, and things of that nature.

For example, evidently, to get a doctor, or get fast enough internet to stream TV and movies online, or get groceries delivered, I would have to move to a larger city, or a suburb of a big city, which would raise the monthly cost of keeping a roof over my head up to well into the four figures, which in turn I simply cannot afford, full stop.

I love how I can’t resist trying to pet cacti.

Every time I see a cactus, I think: “Don’t pet it. It’ll stab you. Don’t pet it. This cactus doesn’t want to be friends, it wants to be prickly.”

And then I pet it.

Sorry for blowing up the thread, folks.


That majorly sucks. I’ll cross my fingers for many filling and root canal free years for you, because ow.


I’m baffled. Are you saying you found this somehow offensive?

I expect most such people have someone they know whom they can call to come over and help with some things for a while, once in a while. Not me.

It’s just a statement of fact. Most people who live alone still have friends in their area, don’t they?

As long as we’re on the topic of surgery and general anesthesia, I’ll add that I had surgery three years ago for a broken wrist.

I probably wouldn’t have needed surgery but was just so broke that I tried to tough it out, until I realized that my wrist could continue to be twisted until I saw a doctor. It was not gonna go back to normal. By that time the bones had started growing back, improperly. So the surgeon had to rebreak my wrist first and then reset the bones.

The anesthesia was quite an experience because it causes amnesia. I have two memories with regard to the anesthesia: I’m lying on the operating room table, counting backward, and I’m not getting sleepy at all. It’s clear to me that the anesthesia isn’t working. The next thing I know, I’m waking up and the nurses are putting away the oxygen machine. The rest is a complete blank. Kinda scary — but probably for the best.

Then my boyfriend and I caught a bus back home. In the rain. I’m so glad he was there because I was terrified of falling and rebreaking (once again) my wrist.

And then — because I was broke and also because I don’t always go along with popular wisdom — I didn’t get my prescription filled for a painkiller. I was fine for about ten hours, and then I woke up with a pain that was excruciatingly constant. The pain I’m familiar with, it turned out, has tiny pauses in it, enough so that I can sort of catch my breath. Not this pain. I couldn’t stop focusing on it. At 8:05 a.m. I woke my boyfriend and demanded that he immediately walk a few blocks and get my prescription filled. (I called ahead at 8:00 a.m. and the pharmacist said it would be okay as long as he took my driver’s license with him.) After that I could sleep and heal.

I have a four-inch scar but it’s not noticeable to anyone but me.

PS: The surgeon put plastic bone and also cadaver bone in me. My boyfriend was super impressed by the cadaver bone. Sadly, the cadaver bone dissolves after a few weeks.

@ Contrapangloss,

I love how I can’t resist trying to pet cacti.

Every time I see a cactus, I think: “Don’t pet it. It’ll stab you. Don’t pet it. This cactus doesn’t want to be friends, it wants to be prickly.”

And then I pet it.

I do that with the hairy ones. Those things HURT.

For a while my daughter had a sticker collection which included various cacti with signs saying “free hugs”.

Aaaaaand that has led me to remember Mallory Ortberg’s “Everything what’s wrong of succulents”, which sadly I no longer can find.

Sorry for the random stream-of-consciousness…

I know that this is probably useless, but…

Surplus, people here ARE trying to help you. But they won’t be able to provide you with a “magic button,” because no such thing exists. Anything that will improve your situation will require time and effort, because that is how life works. That they cannot offer you complete, easy solutions does not mean that they are not trying to help, and is certainly not a reason to attack those who respond to your requests for help as you have a pattern of doing.

Speaking of patterns, humans are really good at seeing them where none exist. Things go wrong for us all the time, often for seemingly no reason. It may be comforting to think that someone is doing this deliberately, because at least then there is theoretically something that we could do about it – find the Man Behind The Curtain and expose them.

But there is no Man Behind the Curtain. Even the things that harm you that are a result of people’s choices (such as cuts to support systems) are not targeting you specifically, because the people doing that do not even know that you exist.

I’m a dialysis patient in the USA. There are people who have dedicated their lives to removing the support systems that keep me alive. But I recognize that while they want “people like me” dead, they are not trying to kill me specifically.

No one is targeting you. This belief is unhealthy, and is hurting you. People have, many times on this site, offered links to resources that you can contact for various types of support. And yes, these will take time and effort – because solving problems takes time and effort for everybody. None of us are just coasting through life without suffering a million little setbacks.

I really hope that you are able to get help, but first you need to recognize why you need help. And it isn’t because someone is after you, but because you believe that.

I’m reluctant to engage with Surplus’s weaponized self-pity, but I don’t want that to keep me from acknowledging that someone here was treated in an unacceptable way. @Contrapangloss, I saw you try to be kind. I saw you try to reach out and say (roughly paraphrased) “I’m sorry this thing is hard for you. It’s hard for me too,” only for Surplus to essentially reply that, no, he doesn’t believe you. You can’t suffer like he suffers because that might mean that he isn’t the worst off person in the world, so you must be lying about your own experience. Anyways I see that, and I’m sorry it happened to you. You didn’t deserve to be treated like that.

@Bookworm in hijab

The author of that piece you mentioned goes by Daniel Lavery now, just as an FYI. I’m sorry you can’t find the piece again! His writing is so funny. I miss The Toast sometimes!

… said something. Editing it out because the thought was ninja’d and I need to bow out for a bit. Thanks, Viscaria. I appreciate it.

@ Viscaria,

The author of that piece you mentioned goes by Daniel Lavery now, just as an FYI. I’m sorry you can’t find the piece again! His writing is so funny. I miss The Toast sometimes!

Thanks! I hadn’t known; I was never a regular reader of The Toast. I appreciate the info! I wonder if I can find that piece under their (his? Not sure which pronoun is preferred) more recent name.

And I feel dumb. I just went “ooh, yay, cacti!” when I read that comment. I hadn’t read it as a…reference? Point being made? In my defense I’m a little sleep-deprived (and clueless at the best of times, lol).

…edited to add, HIS. Thanks Viscaria. See previous comment re: I am sleep-deprived.


I never accused anyone here of lying! All I did was point out that I’m not your “typical” person-who-lives-alone-in-an-apartment, who still has a bit more support than I have.

As for the time-and-effort thing, first I’d have to know what to do. I have no idea how to do any of these things. I can’t even keep a conversation going, much of the time, let alone figure out how to better my condition in a serious way without a magic increase to my income that I have no clue how to get.

(Getting a job is not the answer. It’s clear that if anyone would hire me at all, it would only be for a McJob, and those don’t pay a living wage. I’d be no more able to afford big-city rents on a McJob as on my present income. And that’s assuming I could manage to hold onto that McJob for any length of time, which I have various reasons to doubt. If I couldn’t, I’d then be left with zero income, since presumably I’d need to get a doctor’s note or similarly to re-apply for disability, I don’t have a doctor, and even if I did I don’t know how to navigate the bureaucracy (my mother originally helped set it up, and is dead now), and even if I did, the payments surely wouldn’t start instantly and I’d still have months of zero income to weather somehow. Frankly, I don’t see any path out of this, at least none that don’t risk my ending up much worse off such as homelessness, except for unlikely scenarios involving an unknown rich relative kicking the bucket and leaving me a huge inheritance. And even that would require me to learn, on the fly, how to navigate all kinds of legal complexities involving wills and probate courts and estate taxes and stuff, no doubt with people offering to help who might very well have ulterior motives so I wouldn’t know whom I could trust … it’s things like this that make me think the world wasn’t designed for me, or maybe vice versa. I just don’t seem to fit into it very well, and I don’t have very many options at all that leave me a safe line of retreat in case of failure or betrayal. I think maybe I’m a personality subtype who was “meant” to be supported by an extended family while contributing to society mainly in an intellectual capacity, mainly in indirectly-remunerated ways, while other members of that family interfaced to things like bureaucracies and the legal system, only the corporatocracy’s chase-the-jobs shell-game has broken up extended families into atomized little units since a century ago now.)

@Surplus – Maybe you should consider the fact that *multiple* people have come to the *same conclusion* about how you treat others as an indication that that is, in fact, how you treat others.

Seriously. Take our word for it. You’re terrible to try to help.

You say “I have this problem.”

People will reply “Oh, geez! I also have that problem! I found X and Y helped me, perhaps they’ll help you? Good luck with your situation! It sucks!”



Also how could you suggest X and Y! My complications of abcdefghijklmnop mean that X and Y are COMPLETELY IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO ACCOMPLISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

People then go “Surplus, it’s clear that you’re hurting! I’m sorry about abcdefghijklmnop, I had no idea about those. Maybe you could try z? That might help. Really hope this can work out for you!”


People “You don’t have a nemesis. This is clearly out of the range of what a random person on the internet can handle, you really need to get some help. Please find someone to see. I wish you all the best, you’re clearly suffering.”


They reply: “I don’t deserve to be treated like this, Surplus, and I would appreciate if you didn’t.”

You reply:


Then people stop talking to you, the thread dies, and you show up on the next thread as if NOTHING HAPPENED. Then you’ll be fine for a while, until your power flickers or someone comes late (or early?) to pick you up, or SOMETHING, and we’ll have to go through the whole song-and-dance again.

I am NOT saying that you aren’t _clearly_ in distress. You are, you clearly are. I am really sorry for you that you’re dealing with this, and I wish you would be able to find some sort of help that can help you.

What I AM saying, is that you take your frustration out on us, and we *don’t deserve it*. If you said “I’m having a bad day”, someone says “this helped me”, and YOU REPLIED WITH “that won’t help me, unfortunately, but thanks for the suggestion.”


OR, if you didn’t want suggestions, say “this is a venting rant, I don’t need suggestions in how to deal with it, thank you.” And then vent. No one will reply to you with anything other than “that sounds like it sucks, friend. Good luck dealing with that, I hate that you have to.”

It’s not that we don’t want you here, most of the time you make good comments. It’s just these episodes that are so seriously *draining* to deal with.

I also know you won’t reply to me, because you’ve stopped. That’s fair, we clearly don’t see eye to eye. But I hope you read this, and maybe think that I am _trying to help you_.

This is how your actions feel to people. If you don’t intend this, please work on a way to interact with people when you’re upset that *isn’t this*.


What I AM saying, is that you take your frustration out on us, and we *don’t deserve it*.

And yet, I’m not the one ranting in all caps and specifically singling another person out to say how terrible and awful they are.

How odd …

Pretty much every significant problem I have seems to trace back to “insufficient funds”.

Every medical issue -> lack of a doctor -> not living in a bigger city or its suburbs -> insufficient funds.

Every wonky door, busted window blind, etc. around here -> fixing it needs tools I don’t have and the ability to move bulky objects across town -> no car -> insufficient funds.

Lack of any meaningful local support -> few local friends, all more scared of the pandemic than I am, and I’m plenty scared of it -> no real way to meet new people -> smaller city/bars and such are expensive to hang out at -> insufficient funds/insufficient funds.

I do keep hoping that there’s some free something-or-other that someone might know about that I don’t, or “everyone knows” resources or shortcuts through the bureaucracy or whatever that I don’t know, or some new thingy on the horizon (say, adding more things than just dental and pharma to disability benefits), but there apparently really is nothing.

I’m not sure why people keep thinking I’m just being lazy and if I just put in some “time and effort” I could magically solve this stuff. Everything keeps tracing back to my needing several hundred more dollars a month before I could begin to make a dent in this mountain of woe. And since the world decided, unanimously, that I was unworthy to hold a white-collar job, regardless of my educational qualifications, there seems no reliably way for me to get such a larger income, unless the government were to pass a huge expansion of the welfare state, which isn’t going to happen because idiot middle class people keep voting for Tories and so poorer people have to keep strategically voting for Liberals and so hardly anybody ever votes NDP …

*sigh*, it’s just a rinse and repeat. No one is as isolated as you, surplus. No one has as few funds as you. No one has as few family members/friends to call on.

(I have exactly 0 family in this entire province, fwiw. While I have friends I can call on, I have 2 friends with cars. Neither of whom I can call on right now, because it’s COVID and I happen to live in a place that has been in lockdown and above for months, with huge numbers of the ‘variants of concern’ showing up. I’m terrified to go outside, I’m terrified to see people, and my mental health has *sharply* declined because of my isolation. But, sorry, no one has it as bad as you. There’s a name for what you commonly do, you know, and you’d win a frigging gold medal in it.)

You’re taking umbrage at the tone and style of my response, rather than the actual content. I could say the same thing about you, with your italics. I was too lazy to put in the italic tags, so I used caps. Since you have stated your preference for ‘no caps’, I’ll put in the effort of putting in the tags.

I do keep hoping that there’s some free something-or-other that someone might know about that I don’t, or “everyone knows” resources or shortcuts through the bureaucracy or whatever that I don’t know, or some new thingy on the horizon (say, adding more things than just dental and pharma to disability benefits), but there apparently really is nothing.

Thank freaking god you got this. If *nothing else*, I’m so happy you finally understand.
There are no short cuts. Life sucks for everyone. Welcome to late stage capitalism.

I’m not sure why people keep thinking I’m just being lazy and if I just put in some “time and effort” I could magically solve this stuff.

Quote me where anyone, literally anyone, has called you lazy. You might have *read* ‘hey, Surplus, you’re super lazy’ but what people said was ‘hey, Surplus, this shit sucks for everyone. You’re going to have to follow up/try a different way/accept it isn’t going to happen/know that no one is targeting you’.

The ‘magic’ comment comes from your behaviours, where you reject any suggestions offered, because they won’t magically fix all of your problems with zero effort. That solution doesn’t exist. No one can give that to you. All us strangers on the internet can do is empathise, and try to suggest things that have worked for us.

Again, and I can’t reiterate it enough, you’re obviously having a tough time. You’ve shared that you’re struggling with money, and are isolated, and are upset by both of those things. I’m sorry to hear that.

There are free mental health services that you can actually access. Here’s a link to Mind Beacon, I’m not sure if it would actually help you, but there’s one link. Here’s a link to other therapy options, check out this page. Here’s another Ontario website to help connect you with mental health resources.

I’m sure something will go wrong with you attempting to access any of these resources, because bureaucracy sucks. And government stuff often has some issue. But try, really try, to solve whatever roadblock comes up. It’s shitty, you shouldn’t have to, but that’s life.

ETA: right! For toting stuff around town, try something like a grocery cart. *I know* they are expensive. But it really is a good investment! I use this so I can do my grocery shopping trips, or go to wal-mart (in the before times, sigh) or whatever. I’ve brought home many oversize things by either lashing it to the top of the cart, or using bungees. I’d recommend not getting one of the walmart ones, the metal has gotten thinner over the years, and they don’t last nearly as long. :C

@Bookworm in hijab – great point!

@ Surplus

You are quite right that “It’s expensive being poor.”

I wish I had some practical advice for you there; but I’m afraid that’s beyond my ken,

However, may I suggest one way that might address some of the other problems you have? Specifically the lack of response to your media posts, and your social isolation.

You write very well. So why not write something about how poverty is like that negative feedback thing? You could start with the general observation, and give some examples from your own life to illustrate.

You don’t need any tips from me on writing, but you could maybe start with that Discworld quote about the boots, and work from there.

Find somewhere suitable to publish it, and invite comment from readers as to their own experiences. That should provoke some engagement; there’ll be plenty of people out there who this must apply to.

Then you can engage with them and who knows what social circles you may build?

Shared adversity can be a great driver for forming bonds; and it may be that’s the start of a mutual support network for you all.

Anyway, just a thought.

I’m not sure why people keep thinking I’m just being lazy and if I just put in some “time and effort” I could magically solve this stuff.

Literally no one is saying this. People have been saying the opposite, in fact. That there is no magical solution to all your problems. The objection is to you lashing out at us because we do not have a magic fix for you.

The objection is also to you thinking you are the only one with problems. This past year has been hard on all of us. I could detail what about it was hard for me, but I won’t because I don’t believe that you care. I’ve never once seen you show empathy for us, yet you expect us to have an endless supply of energy, time and sympathy for you. If fucking exhausting. Which is why I don’t usually even engage with you anymore.


It is really hard to make concrete suggestions not fully understanding your personal situation, which you love to go over whenever you are shooting someone’s ideas down, but otherwise can be a total mystery. (Which makes it easy for you to shoot things down and utterly dismiss any attempts to help in a manner that comes across as rude over text, which in turn does not encourage them to be polite to you, blah, blah, blah.)

For example, one thought that occurs to me is to suggest you do what I feel I need to do to “live life”, and that is simply to get out more. In your case, since you seem to lack capital, a vehicle, etc, I would suggest walking to any free events or street festivals nearby.

However, this assumes that you are like me and not only are able to walk several miles on a whim, that there are events and things in those several miles, that you would even be interested in attending such things, and oh yeah, there isn’t a freakin’ pandemic cutting down significantly on these activities anyway.

So, I can suggest you throw on a coat and thermal underwear to go walk six miles through snow to see a winter carnival thing, but it might be a ridiculous suggestion for you, even if I would happily hop to. /Overexplaining

And for what you may consider a straight up insult here, look at your position on money being your only solution and compare it to that of an incel complaining they can never succeed because they lack the money to be “Beta Bucks”.

Lastly, note that probably a not insignificant number of people commenting on here have “seen some shit”, have dealt with depression, may have contemplated suicide, etc. They are still here. So are you. To quote from the ridiculous show Andromeda: “Where there is life, there is hope.”

Titanium, I’m not sure David watches all the comment threads; have you emailed him about getting the link? That might be fastest.

The jews are behind everthing… 🙀
But wait, what’s about the illuminati, the spacelizards, and the brotherhood of the great pumpkin?🙄

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