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Six fun and kicky makeup tips from YouTube racist Stefan Molyneux

By David Futrelle

The last time we checked in on YouTube philosopher racist crackpot Stefan Molyneux, he was trying his hand at slam poetry, sort of. Now he’s become a beauty blogger. Or beauty tweeter, anyway, unleashing a veritable tweetstorm on the subject of makeup over the last several days.

I’ve been going through his tweets and have extracted these Six Fun New Makeup Tips for Devious Females.

Simulate the look of sexual arousal by painting your lips a deep red because everyone who’s had actual sex with real human females knows that their lips turn the shade of a cherry whenever they’re feeling really horny. It’s just science!

https://twitter.com/StefanMolyneux/status/1159939516439961602

Use lipstick to arouse the male’s monkey brain, because obviously our primate ancestors wore tons of makeup. (Just don’t go too far and arouse the lizard brain because then the guy you’re trying to win might ignore you and start trying to catch nearby flies with his tongue.)

https://twitter.com/StefanMolyneux/status/1160015489499836416

Use makeup to hide the fact that you’re a wrinkled old crone of, oh, 45 or so.

https://twitter.com/StefanMolyneux/status/1160629105550856194
https://twitter.com/StefanMolyneux/status/1160680851182628864

Use makeup to manipulate gullible men and extract their man-resources!

https://twitter.com/StefanMolyneux/status/1160685737026752513

Feeling hungry? Apply lipstick at once and get some beta male dupe to pay for your $100 dinner.

https://twitter.com/StefanMolyneux/status/1160681302368161793

Use makeup to con wealthy investors into pouring millions of dollars into your fraudulent blood testing startup!

https://twitter.com/StefanMolyneux/status/1160012125936504833

Now, I suppose I should add that the last woman who pulled this particular long con got caught and is probably going to jail. But honestly, gals, her makeup skills were pretty basic, at best; surely you can do a better job and succeed where she failed!

COMING SOON (probably): Stefan takes aim at the dastardly tool of dude manipulation known as the Wonderbra.

Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.

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Lainy
Lainy
2 years ago

My lipstick is black, dark purple, dark green, and ocean blue. So what does this guy think I’m trying to do exactly? Also lips get red with sexual desire? I know this dude is racist but did he straight up forget black women exist? They lips don’t tend to be naturally pink.

Paradoxical Intention - Resident Cheeseburger Slut

Men: “Men are clearly more logical and rational than those silly wimmens who spend all their money on useless things like makeup and dresses because they’re vapid little airheads!”

Also men: “A woman put on lipstick and that means she’s trying to have sex with me by making it so I can’t control my dick so she can destroy my entire life and take all of my moneyyyyyy!”

This fuckin’ dweeb, I swear.

Miri
Miri
2 years ago

I never wear makeup, so I guess that’s why I had to pay for my own dinner today. Darn it!

Mexican Hot Chocolate
Mexican Hot Chocolate
2 years ago

Has this joker even ever been around an actual woman? Wanda the sex doll doesn’t count.

Dalillama
Dalillama
2 years ago

Can you imagine a man showing up for a business meeting with a giant artificial boner straining at his pants?

Our boy has never heard of codpieces, clearly.

Gretchen
Gretchen
2 years ago

Shorter Molyneux: Men are stupid as fuck and it’s womens’ collective fault.

Lainy
Lainy
2 years ago

If you want an actual good makeup tip about lipstick. I get really bad dry and crack lips. If you do as well and lipsticks make it worse, use a lip conditioner before you apply lipstick. It helps a lot. Lip stick is normally the only face make up I’ll wear because I break out pretty easily. Nail polish on the other hand, one of my favorite things. Also blackheart beauty cosmetics is a really good cruelty free brand that I like. for both their nail polish and lipsticks. Plus the nail polish comes in cute little skull bottles.

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
2 years ago

My impression of Elizabeth Holmes is that her grift owed more towards her playing the bright daughter card to a lot of men who were susceptible to that, and lowering her speaking voice to sound more masculine (read: trustworthy), which worked on people susceptible to that. None of that worked on people who weren’t looking for a substitute daughter or people who didn’t automatically assume that trustworthiness is signaled by sounding masculine.

As for makeup, I seldom wear it – the last time was at my dad’s funeral – in part because Mr. Parasol hates the taste of lipstick, and partly because I don’t want to mess with it. I wore makeup to work before I was married because in that part of the American South, wearing makeup is like wearing a bra: If you don’t wear it, you aren’t a proper adult woman.

Lainy
Lainy
2 years ago

Shorter Molyneux: Men are stupid as fuck and it’s womens’ collective fault.

Lol, I CAN’T BELEIVE HER EYE LIDS ARE NATURALLY GOLD! TRICKS AND DECITE.

Lainy
Lainy
2 years ago

Blockquotes, why do you betray me. Why have you forsaken me. What have done deserve such disrespect from you lol.

Naglfar
Naglfar
2 years ago

I find it odd that he mentions bonobo brains, seeing as bonobos are matriarchal, bisexual, and polyamorous. All things Mr. Molyneux wouldn’t like.
Bonobos are also really good examples for disproving manosphere evo-psych BS, since they are very closely related to humans and are matriarchal.

Peterson stan: Yo, lobsters show dominance by having big claws, so some dudes are just alphas and women should be submissive.
Me: Bonobos are far more closely related to humans than lobsters, and they are matriarchal and have orgies nonstop. Should we be doing that, then?
Peterson stan:…

All joking aside, I think we would be better off if we were more like bonobos. If only.

I don’t usually wear makeup because a lot of makeup (lipstick especially) has lead in it(!) and I’d rather look plain and not get lead poisoning than wear makeup. There is lead free makeup, but it’s pricey and hard to find.

Teabug
Teabug
2 years ago

I declared my cat a blasphemer to his face, but he just purred and looked the other way.

And that makes more sense than anything that comes out of that ignoramus.

Lainy
Lainy
2 years ago

I don’t usually wear makeup because a lot of makeup (lipstick especially) has lead in it(!) and I’d rather look plain and not get lead poisoning than wear makeup. There is lead free makeup, but it’s pricey and hard to find.

WHAT???!!!! has anyone alerted that youtuber who made a cake with lipstick and ate it about this. This is very troubling news.

Naglfar
Naglfar
2 years ago

@Lainy
“…Blockquotes into your hands, I commend my spirit
Blockquotes into your hands
why have you forsaken me
In your eyes forsaken me
In your thoughts forsaken me
In your heart forsaken, me oh…”

That song even references putting on makeup, so it’s doubly fitting.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
2 years ago

I live in Paris. 100€ is about the double of a seriously fancy dinner. Are american restaurant that expensive ?

Also, racist bozo that don’t know anything about human is a racist bozo.

Dreamer
Dreamer
2 years ago

I have scars on my lips. The only makeup I use is lip tint. I don’t use it to “trap men” but to appear normal. I actually considered having my lips tattooed to hide the scars. Skin cancer. Ugh. Please use sunblock, folks. P.S. my aunt has no nose due to the sun.

Karalora
Karalora
2 years ago

His comparison of lipstick to an artificial boner is really telling. Sexists always equate female attractiveness with male horniness. The objective is to make it impossible for women to successfully follow the rules of society–if she tries to make herself prettier, she is foisting her sexuality upon innocent men. If she doesn’t, she’s a nasty hag.

Naglfar
Naglfar
2 years ago

@Lainy
I didn’t see your other comment until my other one posted. But here’s what I got on the lead issue:
It’s not good. Key sentences from the EPA report:

FDA scientists found lead in all of the 20 lipsticks they tested. Lead levels ranged from 0.09 ppm to 7.9 pm.

Lead-containing lipstick applied several times a day, every day, can add up to significant exposure levels over time. Women swallow somewhere between three and nine pounds of lipstick over the course of their lifetime.

Remember, there is no safe lead level.

I’d recommend holding off on the lipstick cake for now.
Lead free lipstick options: https://www.crueltyfreekitty.com/makeup/lead-free-lipstick/
https://www.getgreenbewell.com/10-lead-free-lipsticks-for-kissing/
https://www.care2.com/greenliving/7-gorgeous-lead-free-lipsticks-that-wont-make-you-sick.html

Lainy
Lainy
2 years ago

@Naglfar

I was literally just given a lovely set of lipsticks for my birthday two days ago. And what you’ve posted has me so shocked. Out of all the things posted on whtm, who knew that finding out my lipstick has lead in it would be the most shocking thing. It’s just…wow.

Naglfar
Naglfar
2 years ago

@Lainy
I’m sorry to ruin your present. Maybe yours don’t have lead? Look them up and you can probably find out. It’s worth checking.

Lainy
Lainy
2 years ago

@Naglfar

It’s alright, it didn’t ruin it. It’s a good thing to know. It’s important to know the stuff you put in or on your body.

Violet the Vile, Moonbat Screech Junky
Violet the Vile, Moonbat Screech Junky
2 years ago

Can I just say I am loving Kate Ford right now

Also, for anyone who read my previous comment about my terrible rapist martial arts master, I wrote a longer piece about it for a blogger I met on reddit. Please feel free to take a look if you’re interested.

https://thewayyoupractice.com/2019/08/12/culture-shock-guest-article-sexism-and-sexual-predation-against-women-in-martial-arts/

Moon_custafer
Moon_custafer
2 years ago

Time to quote Sailor J’s contouring tutorial: “If the men find out we can shapeshift, they’re going to tell the Church!”

Moggie
Moggie
2 years ago

@Lainy:

Nail polish on the other hand, one of my favorite things.

Sexual arousal makes a woman’s fingernails and even toenails change colour drastically, and somehow a lot of her body hair disappears as well. Science!

Lainy
Lainy
2 years ago

@Moggie

And again, it’s black or dark colors. I have a nail polish that perfectly matches the color of blood though. I wear it when I go to get blood drawn and I get a lot of complements about it from the technicians.

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