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Incel demands that depressed women “stop appropriating male culture” because women can’t really be depressed

Sylvia Plath: Definitely faking it

By David Futrelle

Incels insist that no one else can understand their particular brand of loneliness and misery — and that goes double for women. Indeed, they insist, women can’t be “involuntarily celibate” like them because, unlike true incels, women can always find themselves a Chad (or at least some beta cuck) to have sex with.

And because of this, many incels go on to argue, women can’t really suffer from depression either. When women claim to be depressed, they’re just doing it for attention, or as a way to add some drama to their lives.

In a recent post on the Braincels subreddit, a fellow calling himself NoobSoyboy set forth what he sees as the crucial differences between male (real) and female (fake) depression. He started with the ladies:

Female depression teehee: – My boyfriend is not texting back after 5 min – Chad doesn’t want to fuck me – I wasn’t invited at that party – Listening to sad songs – All my friends are busy – Posting on Tumblr – Cutting herself for attention whoring – Eating Ice Cream – Everyone checks out on you and supports you

“Teehee.”

On to the men:

Male depression: – Spend years rotting
– Has never felt intimate human touch – No girlfriend – No friends – Insomnia – Suicidal and homicidal – Alcohol, drugs – PTSD and chased by demons – Nobody gives a fuck and you’re told to fix yourself if you seek help, no support at all

Never mind all those people who have tried over the years to offer incels help, only to have their reasonable suggestions rejected outright.

I wish those roastie would stop making depression look like a fucking joke, females can’t be depressed , stop appropriating male culture you fucking whores.

Yep, in his mind depression belongs to men and men alone. In the past, we’ve seen assorted groups of angry dudes declare all sorts of things — from video gaming to Ghostbuster movies — to be sacred male spaces that women should not be allowed to “invade.” But I don’t think I’ve ever seen any of these angry dudes stake a claim to a mental illness.

Depression, I need hardly remind you, is actually far more likely to strike women than men. According to the Mayo clinic, women are twice as likely to be diagnosed with depression than men and far more likely to try to commit suicide. (Men succeed at suicide more often because they are far more likely to use more lethal methods.)

One reason that men are so much less likely to be diagnosed with depression is that they’re less willing to seek help for it; they’ve been taught to hide their sadness because showing this sort of “weakness” is seen as unmanly.

But that’s not the whole story. Cis women deal with a host of biological and social factors that cis men don’t face. Cis men don’t suffer from the extreme form of PMS called premenstrual dysphoric disorder, a form of depression; they don’t suffer postpartum depression.  (Trans folks of all genders, I should note, are many times more likely to suffer depression than their cis counterparts, mostly because of the bigotry and abuse they face on a regular basis; roughly 40 percent attempt suicide.)

I’ve been dealing with chronic (and sometimes quite severe) depression for decades, and I’ve known numerous others — both male and female — who have also suffered from this debilitating disease. From my own personal experience — as someone who has suffered it and who has watched others suffer from it — I know that depression is every bit as real for women as it is for men.

In the discussion spawned by NoobSoyboy’s absurd post, several women offered similar rebuttals to his, er, theory — describing in detail their own struggles with severe depression and anxiety. But most of the Braincels regulars weren’t much interested; even acknowledging the basic fact that women can suffer depression like men is too much for them, as it undercuts their contention that incels are the most pitiable creatures on the planet.

Commenter after commenter echoed NoobSoybot’s delusional “argument.” As one put it:

Women have no idea how it’s like to be depressed.

Female Depression: “I’m doing bad in school and I didn’t get invited to that party, it’s okay I’m calling my boyfriend and my 3 best friends over to try to comfort me”.

They equate basic sadness to depression. Honestly nothing works out for me so getting bad grades for something I studied for and not getting invited to something is just a normal day.

Their depression is my everyday existence.

Another commenter attacked one of the women who posted about her depression.

I wouldn’t be depressed if I could easily have sex with those of the opposite gender despite being ugly and low value just because of my genitalia. If I woke up a foid tomorrow, I would he able to easily cure my ailments and quickly. Women being depressed is hilarious. You have so much advantages over men and yet you still bitch. …

Fuck me you women seriously cannot put yourselves in our shoes. You won’t ever admit that you have it easy compared to us.

The comment with the most upvotes? A wall of text by someone called tallchad devoted to the proposition that “females just don’t understand what the general feeling of depression is really like,” especially for

males who struggle romantically, like when you try and explain to them what’s the matter for instance they simply cannot fathom what its like to experience such an awful feeling.

Never mind that several women in that very discussion made abundantly clear that they understand depression all too well.

It’s completely alien to them, they haven’t felt anything like it, and why would they? Their lives are literally scripted out for them like something out of the truman show, the female will experience way much more that the average male may never get to experience, just because of the privilege of being born female (you don’t even need to be an attractive female anymore).

Not only is none of this true, but even if it were true it wouldn’t leave women immune to depression. Having your life “scripted out … like something out of the truman show” actually sounds like a nightmare; indeed, the plot of The Truman Show revolved around Truman’s horrific discovery that he’d been imprisoned from birth in a fake, scripted world — and his attempt to escape it.

More to the point, though, depression can strike anyone, regardless of how perfect their life seems. Yes, depression affects poor people more than rich — because they tend to have more stresses and fewer resources — but hot young heiresses can be as miserable as any incel, because depression is a disease. Chads and Staceys can get cancer, too.

The female experiences everything, from … males way out of their league all the way to having a nice house and having a betabux provider that buys them the new shoes she wants whilst she stays at home or works a comfortable office job.

Incels live in a fantasy land. It’s not possible for most mothers to stay at home to raise the kids any more; they’re far more likely to run themselves ragged working and doing the bulk of the childcare (if they’re not raising the kids on their own). Many of these women work on their feet all day; women make up the vast majority of nurses and health aides.

Meanwhile your average male has failed at every hurdle, all the support is on women because of the gyrocentric nature of society, and frankly, he feels like he’s been left behind, then for the next 50-60 years he’s working a low wage job being barked orders by sociopaths … . 

This just in: all men have shitty jobs; no women ever have shitty jobs.

What does the most damage is that [men] can’t find a life long partner, this is what hypergamy has done, the average male’s looksmatch equivalent has had so much positive reinforcement growing up that she thinks nothing can stop her from marrying someone way above her looks level, she ends up in a perpetual cycle, getting pumped and dumped by chad because he doesn’t want to commit (and why would he lol) then onto the next one, then onto the next, etc. etc. until she hits the wall and has to settle for a betabux provider.

None of this is true. According to one recent survey, the median number of lifetime opposite-sex sex partners for straight men between the ages of 25-44 was 6.1; for their female counterparts it was 4.2. (I’m guessing the difference between those two numbers has to do with the tendency of men to exaggerate and women to downplay their sexual activity, and also due to the small percentage of the female population that engages in sex work.) The “cock carousel” is a myth.

So the average male is left with limited options, he can either rope or keep coping and trying until he’s cold, dead, rotting away and underneath the ground, but to do this he must continue working 60 hour weeks, and these weeks continue to grind him down… effectively like a huge axe cutting away his mental state, he gets left utterly devastated by years of emotional neglect, his goodness being sucked out of him, he sees no goodness in the world anymore. It just keeps getting worse and worse, until the rope finally looks more appealing.

This is what the world looks like to someone who is seriously depressed. It’s not reality. Depression distorts your thinking; incel ideology compounds this distortion, making depression worse. Incel ideology functions much like a disease, harming everyone who takes it seriously. If you’re a young man dealing with depression, incel sites are the absolute worst places in the world to seek help.

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Diptych
Diptych
3 years ago

My only problem with stickers is that I’m scared of actually sticking them to things, when maybe there’ll be something better to stick them to later on! Which is why, to quote Bill Oddie, you know I’m a fool for badges.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I put a sticker of a little white dog on the side of my dresser more than 20 years ago. It’s still there and in good condition.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
3 years ago

@kupo
This.

@Diptych
There will be nothing better on which to stick your stickers than your own forehead. Some will laugh. They’re just jealous. Also awestruck.

kupo
kupo
3 years ago

@Diptych
SAME

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
3 years ago

@WWTH
Stickers are both beautiful and surprisingly hardy.

Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

One of my law school lecturers used to return coursework with stickers on. I got a gold star for one piece of work, and I think I was more chuffed with that than the actual degree certificate.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
3 years ago

@Alan
Color me stunned. I don’t think I ever got a sticker past third grade.

Violet the Vile, Moonbat Screech Junky
Violet the Vile, Moonbat Screech Junky
3 years ago

I have a big hoard of sex I’m not prepared to share with anyone I don’t like. And frankly I think that’s my prerogative lolls around on pile of sex sharpening claws to deal with rapey intruders

I also have (officially diagnosed and medicated) depression, anxiety, and PTSD. Incels can tell me I don’t have these as much as they like, it won’t make it true.

Just standing around shouting “THE SKY IS PINK!” doesn’t make it a thing, and it won’t be a thing no matter how angry you get about it. That’s how stupid you sound with this.

Also, if we are talking about first world problems…I do have to wonder how long the incels would survive by themselves in the post apocalyptic world they are so fond of imagining. They’ll have to cook their own meals, for a start.

I, for one, will be absolutely fine as I have first aid skills, am an experienced forager, and my anxiety and PTSD mean I have been expecting and preparing for utter screaming disaster to descend out of the blue for many years.

(seriously, to all you depressed and anxious people – I read how apparently we cope much better in emergency situations than allegedly mentally healthy people – because we’re used to depression and anxiety and the world is simply meeting our expectations. So there is an upside. haha)

Diptych
Diptych
3 years ago

Just standing around shouting “THE SKY IS PINK!” doesn’t make it a thing

I mean… if you stand there long enough, the sun will rise or set, and there’s decent odds the sky will actually be pink. But you’ll be too tired, hoarse and angry to appreciate it. (This comment brought to you by some really pretty sunrises and sunsets around here lately. Gorgeous colours.)

Nanny Oggs Busom
Nanny Oggs Busom
3 years ago

I’ve had serious (diagnosed by a psychiatrist) depression and anxiety for 20+ years, I’m autistic – got my diagnosis in May at the ripe old age of 34 – and never have sex, because trust issues caused by bullying at school. I’m pretty certain that being autistic and undiagnosed for 34 years 11 months of my 35 years, and being bullied at school as a teenager, and by my grandmother as a small child, has more to do with my depression than not having sex.

TheKND
TheKND
3 years ago

@Buttercup Q. Skullpants

They act like sex is a big pile of precious gold being hoarded beneath a mountain by dragon-women, and they’re questing knights who have to perform all these outlandish tasks (such as going to work and wiping their butts) in order to slay the dragon and be worthy of the gold, the only thing in the entire world worth possessing.

Hey, how did you guess the plot of my next erotic novel?

Full Metal Ox
3 years ago

@Buttercup Q. Skullpants:

Female Depression: “I’m doing bad in school and I didn’t get invited to that party, it’s okay I’m calling my boyfriend and my 3 best friends over to try to comfort me”.

You left out: All women have adequate social support systems.

And, on the subject of who’s appropriating what from whom: the word and concept “incel” were originated by a lady known as Alana, who would come to realize herself to be a lesbian; being aghast at the company the term has come to keep, she’s now heading this project:

https://sites.google.com/view/lovenotanger

Z&T
Z&T
3 years ago

Thanks for the thoughts all 🙂

Stickers ..

I love stickers! I am reminded too that at one point I even thought of going into the sticker business. Hm, maybe I should revisit that idea.

I mostly put them on notebooks, I’m also always on the look out for the ‘free’ ones, attached to other products which can be peeled off and reused. Latest find was on a watermelon. Is a pic of a watermelon LOL.

There are stickers on about everything. You begin to notice this. Many can be peeled off and re used.

You can also make them into fridge magnets, the magnet material can be found at art shops and online, it’s not expensive. You can also take apart and recycle old fridge magnets.

You know, I was feeling a bit blue and blah today and thinking about this stuff actually cheered me up 🙂 I should get back into some of my old hobbies, it is a lot of fun and interesting.

Someone here mentioned pins and buttons, the other day.
These too 🙂

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
3 years ago

I loved glow-in-the-dark stars and Mrs. Grossman’s stickers. Those were the bomb.

Incels should wear Mr. Yuk stickers to warn the rest of us to steer clear.

@TheKND – Please tell me Valkyries are involved?

Paradoxical Intention - Resident Cheeseburger Slut

kupo | July 31, 2018 at 10:11 pm
@Z&T
I make my own pizza from scratch. Well, the sauce is from a jar. But it’s easy to make and I recommend doing a big batch, dividing it up into balls, and freezing them. I make 6 pizzas worth of dough at once. Makes it easier to just defrost a glob of dough (stick it in warm water to defrost quicker), top it, and bake it.

As an alternative, Trader Joe’s sells premase pizza dough cheap. Or there’s always pillsbury.

I don’t know if this’ll be useful, but some pizza restaurants (like the one I work in), can also sell their pizza dough.

We sell a dough big enough to make an 18 inch pizza for a little over four dollars after tax, which is the same price as one of our “specialty” slices of pizza (our special topping combos).

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile | August 1, 2018 at 10:51 pm
What. My understanding is that I will be rewarded with stickers for being good.

I got them in first grade for being good. They were kickass. I thought that if I just kept being good, eventually the stickers would show up again. On my forehead.

I’m just gonna keep hoping.

I cheat the system and go out and buy my own stickers. Everyone thinks I’m a good noodle, but I’m actually a fuckin’ walnut who has a few spare dollars for stickers every now and again.

I also hoard them (like I do sex*) because I’m horribly indecisive and I don’t want to put them in a place where I’ll regret it.

So, I just put a little poster tack on the back of the good ones and put them on the side of my bookshelf for now.

*I’m saving it all up because Jackie is coming to visit in about three months, and quite frankly, I’m going to give as much of it as they want.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
3 years ago

@PI

I cheat the system and go out and buy my own stickers.

The feminist approach. Light bulb!

@Z&T

You know, I was feeling a bit blue and blah today and thinking about this stuff actually cheered me up ?

That’s pretty cool. “When the dog bites, when the bee stings / I simply remember my favorite things / And then I don’t feel so bad.”*

*”My Favorite Things”/Rodgers and Hammerstein

Hambeast
Hambeast
3 years ago

Z&T – I have a whole mess of magnetic business cards that are great for re-purposing. You can separate the paper from the magnetic backing pretty easily, but they seldom come off cleanly, so once most of the paper is off, soak them in water for a few minutes and rub the rest off.
Voila, free magnet backing for your stickers! You can also cut it with regular scissors.

Thinking of it, I haven’t gotten a magnetic business card for a long time now. Years back, seems I got one practically every time I left the house and sometimes they came in the mail, even! Mine live on the side of my fridge.

Bina
Bina
3 years ago

Female depression teehee: – My boyfriend is not texting back after 5 min – Chad doesn’t want to fuck me – I wasn’t invited at that party – Listening to sad songs – All my friends are busy – Posting on Tumblr – Cutting herself for attention whoring – Eating Ice Cream – Everyone checks out on you and supports you

Literally the only things on that list that this very real, very definitely female, major depressive has done is eat ice cream and post on Tumblr. Not in response to depression, mind you, just in general. I can recommend it; ice cream is lovely. And Tumblr isn’t bad, either; you can find actual socialists on it, FFS. The rest, I have no idea what those are like. Because, having been a real, actual depressive, the idea of having THAT much of a social life actually makes my head spin. (Also, I’m pretty sure that nobody who cuts, does so for “attention whoring”, since they tend to wear clothes that cover up the wounds.)

No, stupid incel, you men do not have a distinct, gender-specific culture, nor do you get to own the concept of clinical depression. And if you think you do (and you seriously think that the above is a true portrait of a depressive woman), you DESERVE to die untouched and alone. You are literally too dumb to deserve anything better.

Bina
Bina
3 years ago

PS: Also, while massively depressed, I did manage to have boyfriends and a fair bit of sex. It did absolutely NOTHING for me. So, incels, if you think you’re going to be cured by THAT, I have sad news for you.

Virgin Mary
Virgin Mary
3 years ago

The reason why they believe this is because in their fantasy world they have the cognitive dissonance of at once believing that they live in a gynocracy ruled by and for women, and that women are non sentient sub animals with the brains of goldfish who exist only for fcuking.
It’s a bit like the way early Christian writers saw women as spiritually bankrupt and soulless automatons just put here to serve teh menz.
You can’t have it both ways!!

Virgin Mary
Virgin Mary
3 years ago

The ironic thing here is that I’m depressed BECAUSE I’m a woman, and shouldn’t be. My conservative upbringing has meant that even tho I knew I was trans, despite not knowing the right name for it, it was considered a taboo. I went to see my doctor when I was about 13/14, and he told me I was a pretty girl and not to be so daft, just go away and get on with my life. I have been trying to do this for bloody years and it turns out I was right in the first place. I never had the epiphany that I thought I would, I was brought up to believe in hormones and body clocks and pheromones and I really thought I’d come to a point where I’d be gagging for sex and desperate to have a baby. It still hasn’t happened and I’m past 40. My mum says it’s not too late as my cousin just had her fifth at 44, but I’m pretty sure by now that I’m not even meant to be a woman, it doesn’t suit me and it never worked for me, so sorry, not sorry. Guess I’ll never get nailed by that Chad.

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