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A temporary period of darkness: Today in Tweets

Trump trying to look up the eclipse’s skirt

By David Futrelle

Today The United States was plunged into darkness, literally, and it was a welcome relief from the more lasting metaphorical darkness that overcame the country early last November.

Oh, and our misbegotten president took off his special glasses and stared directly at the eclipse. Because of course he did. Also, he’s bankrupting the Secret Service. More on that in a second. Bur first:

https://twitter.com/cafedotcom/status/899762896216838144

The most pointed eclipse tweet came from none other than Madeleine Albright:

But this was my favorite:

https://twitter.com/KFILE/status/899691202760638464

In other news:

https://twitter.com/TeeCee_85/status/899248164892495873

https://twitter.com/historyinflicks/status/899035112951738369

https://twitter.com/danharmon/status/899412825063292928

And now the cute animals:

https://twitter.com/_youhadonejob1/status/899370200033873925

https://twitter.com/Otter_News/status/899345632326021120

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Weird (thumper of trumpanzees) Eddie
Weird (thumper of trumpanzees) Eddie
4 years ago

I hope I’m not first again, you guys will think this is all I do

Weird (thumper of trumpanzees) Eddie
Weird (thumper of trumpanzees) Eddie
4 years ago

From St. Jo, Mo., the ECLIPSE CENTRAL of the known UNIVERSE…

clouds and rain through the whole thing….

I got some of those fake eclipse glasses… I didn’t see ANY eclipse 🙁

Faerie Bard
Faerie Bard
4 years ago

Of course he stared at the sun during the eclipse. Of course he did. Too many people probably told him not to, and little Donny Trumples does whatever he wants. Probably thinks all the scientific and medical advice saying not to is just “fake news!”

Now if it does negatively impact his vision, he’ll probably blame science for blinding him. There’s a whole song warning people about that, after all:

Lady_Zombie
Lady_Zombie
4 years ago

Where I live was in the path of totality. It was really something special and I’m lucky I got to see it!

Now, does anyone know what to do with interdimensional travelers? They look like us but they’re not us. Also any advice about the giant tentacles descending from the clouds? I thought they’d go back up but no. They’re just dangling and waving around and every now and then they snatch someone up. Oh, and the animals are still walking backward and water is dripping up.

numerobis
numerobis
4 years ago

the giant tentacles descending from the clouds

Call animal control, they’ll round them up.

Remember everyone, spay and neuter your giant space tentacle monsters. And don’t buy them from those monstrous monster mills — adopt one from your local humane society or SPCA shelter.

Skiriki
Skiriki
4 years ago

FYI, both PewDiePie and Assange went with “no you don’t need glasses, glasses are just a conspiracy to sell them” thing.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
4 years ago

Darkness is temporary sure, but what about aggressive whiteness? Cos I’m just about done with that…

@Eddie
Being first doesn’t make me think this is all you do. Being first and second tho… ?

I was outside during peak eclipse. Was only partial over here, didn’t have glasses anyway. Still, it was shady out at 2:30 in the afternoon. So, that was cool to see 🙂

dslucia
dslucia
4 years ago

Unfortunately there wasn’t much coverage up here in Halifax. You could see the way it changed some of the shadows, and I’m sure that looking at it through the good ol’ glasses or telescopes would’ve been great, but nothing really directly noticeable happened during.

@Lady_Zombie: I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but I think you might have shifted over into the dream world of Yharnam during the eclipse. At least you still have internet access!

SpukiKitty
SpukiKitty
4 years ago

Skiriki
August 21, 2017 at 8:07 pm

FYI, both PewDiePie and Assange went with “no you don’t need glasses, glasses are just a conspiracy to sell them” thing.

Now I’m envisioning those two with the Orange Horror alone in a room, bumping into each other.

I also have a hunch that Jabba’s taking all those Govt.-fund-sucking vacations on purpose….it’s his way of going F.U. for all of our successful boycotting of Trump Junk.

Now it’s affecting the folks assigned to protect him and he’s too “blind” (figuratively and now literally) to figure out how that would endanger him.

So not we have a big orange 70-year-old toddler in a poorly-fitting business suit with stupid hair bumbling around with fried eyeballs and no Secret Service protection.

Congratulations, Donald; You are a dumbass!

Taffer
Taffer
4 years ago

Look, Trump said he had great respect for the great people at the Secret Service, so he’ll get the situation sorted out in no time.

After all, he’s a great businessman and deal maker, so he’ll treat the matter as seriously as he would if it were one of his own businesses.

Its not like he has a history of screwing people out of money he owes them or anything…

Anyway, since those poor fucks won’t ever get paid again, how about we just not have any security for him anymore, but tell him he has great security, the best ever? I mean, they are called the “secret service”, shouldn’t they be more stealthy? Like ninjas. If he saw them, they wouldn’t be so secret now would they?

brian
4 years ago

to quote someone who I have it on good authority (Milo) is one of the most brilliant people in the country, Trump is “like, a smart person.”
so I’m sure knows exactly what he’s doing and definitely didn’t look directly at the sun out of a petty stubbornness to not to what anyone else advises.

Lady_Zombie
Lady_Zombie
4 years ago

@Lady_Zombie: I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but I think you might have shifted over into the dream world of Yharnam during the eclipse. At least you still have internet access!

Oh dear. Well, that does explain a few things.

Tov01
Tov01
4 years ago

Of course he stared right into the son, the giant toddler.

We couldn’t get eclipse glasses in time, so we had to improvise.

pbs.twimg.com/media/DHxGt64VoAA80w3.jpg

pbs.twimg.com/media/DHxIaXMUQAAQ6qt.jpg

MrsObedMarsh
MrsObedMarsh
4 years ago

Jason O. Gilbert wasn’t far off the mark:

https://twitter.com/AndrewKirell/status/899799638051520512

Nikki the Bluth Wannabe
Nikki the Bluth Wannabe
4 years ago

Between everyone at my workplace we had one pair of eclipse glasses and two pinhole projectors, and some of us looked through tree branches. My area was in the 88% totality range, and I got to see it through the glasses!

PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
4 years ago

I loved Albright’s Tweet. Just loved it.

epitome of incomprehensibility

Luckily, it was sunny most of the time here. At the peak, the moon covered more than half the sun and it got a bit darker.

I only had a pair of binoculars and a black paper to project the image on, but then my neighbour came by and gave us two extra pairs of eclipse glasses! It was really nice of her to think of us. (Us = 4 people: parents, me, and brother who’s here for the weekend.)

eli
eli
4 years ago

I was lucky to be able to spread a sheet on the lawn and watch the slivers of light disappear as the weather cooled and the cicadas and birds started up. As soon as the light was gone, I waited a beat, there was another flare for a second, waited another beat, another. Took off the glasses and saw the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my life, I think.

Then my neighbor started talking to me from her balcony. She was refusing to look up. I’m like, but this is the best part, this is the part where you can look up, we have 46 seconds! “I don’t want to risk it.”

I shrugged. Took another gander at the diamond ring. Just as I put my head down, the light started coming back.

Thanks for the glasses, mom. She brought two pair home and she didn’t even use hers. WTF? She stayed inside.

Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Agent of the FemiNest Collective; Keeper of a Hell Toupee, and all-around Intergalactic Meanie
Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Agent of the FemiNest Collective; Keeper of a Hell Toupee, and all-around Intergalactic Meanie
4 years ago

I went to an eclipse party my school had. I got there too late to snag some glasses, but I shared with a fellow student (who shared with a few others as well).

I managed to get some shots on my iPhone by putting the glasses over my lense. Don’t know yet if I got anything really decent yet from that. Need to see it large sized on a big screen to see. Though it was…interesting trying to take the pictures without actually looking at the sun peeking around the camera…. >.<

Also got some shots off a fellow photographer student, who used a couple of filters on his lenses to see the eclipse with. He got some nice shots with that setup.

And one of the teachers did a variation on the pinhole in a sheet of paper thing, using binoculars instead of an actual piece of paper with a hole in it. That produced an image large enough to been seen without needing a microscope.

All in all, it was a fun time.

Banananana dakry
Banananana dakry
4 years ago

We drove all the way up from SoCal to the Portland/ Vancouver WA area on vacation to see this, as well as check out the area a bit. Got up at 6 AM this morning to get to Salem and joined a kind of improv tailgate party in the mall parking lot. It was amazing and all too brief.

It was a nightmare getting back to Vancouver but at least we saw some lovely country using back roads to avoid the worst of the jams. Leaving tomorrow to start the trip home, which is a pity but OTOH I’m fighting a bug so probably need to see urgent care when I get home.

Coming back to Portland again if we have the choice though, goddamnit.

TreePerson
TreePerson
4 years ago

We got totality for 10 seconds where I am,
I only saw it for a flash since I was nervous abut eye damage but its burned into my mind.

Dalillama: Irate Social Engineer

@Banananana Dakry
Did you go by a little diner near Powell’s books? We were swamped all last week with eclipse tourists.

misophistry
misophistry
4 years ago

Saw it back in 1999. Was tripping balls at the time so it wasn’t actually the most amazing thing I saw that day…

bluecat
bluecat
4 years ago

We’re way off the path of totality here in the UK, though apparently, if it hadn’t been for the cloud cover, we might have seen a little bite out of the setting sun at about 8pm. Had we been looking, which we were not.

But I saw a total eclipse in Thailand in July 1995, near Ayutthaya, and it was extraordinary. I had glasses and a filter to look through – but had neglected to protect my ears for when all the gongs started ringing. The chilliness of the air as it grew dark was something to remember.

Trump, of course, believes he has superior eyeballs.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
4 years ago

Epic road trip to Hopkinsville Kentucky yesterday. Wish I had more time to tell stories about the horrific traffic getting back but I must zoom away to work after only 3 hours sleep.

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