When I began this blog six years ago, the Men’s Rights Movement was little more than a curiosity. I’ve watched, with both amusement and alarm, as this small movement has inspired, and ultimately has been eclipsed by, a broader anti-feminist, anti-woman backlash, online and off, driven largely by the same white male rage.
Each new iteration of this backlash has been more toxic — and, sadly, more influential — than the last, ultimately culminating in the rise of the alt-right. Which is to say, the newest incarnation of fascism.
Now the openly racist, openly misogynistic idol of the alt-right has been elected president. Obviously, not everyone who voted for Trump was white or male. But his candidacy was powered in large part by the same kind of white male rage I have been writing about virtually every day for the last six years.
While Trump’s election is, without question, a catastrophe — in ways I will be chronicling in detail over the next few months and years — Trumpism isn’t built to last. Trump’s victory was a narrow one — indeed, he actually lost the popular vote — and the demographic group that served as the backbone of his movement (white men) is shrinking relative to those groups Trump has railed against.
In many ways, Trumpism seems to be a classic example of an “extinction burst,” a term used by behavior psychologists to describe a weird and seemingly paradoxical pattern of behavior. As Popsugar summed it up in a post earlier this week:
[W]hen a certain type of behavior or action isn’t really getting its desired results any longer — say, a child’s tantrums failing to get Mom or Dad’s attention — there’s often a period when a subject struggles even harder, makes more noise, and generally throws an extremely loud fit. In other words, extinction burst is that last-ditch ramping up before an inevitable flame-out.
Trumpism, like all backlashes, is doomed to fail. Unfortunately, it is likely to do a tremendous amount of damage before it goes, not so gently, into that good night. In the meantime, I will do my best to make sense of the toxic stew of racism and misogyny at the heart of Trumpism, and to provide support for those fighting against it or just trying to get by). And so I’ve changed the tagline of this blog from “the new misogyny, tracked and mocked” to “surviving the Trumpocalypse” to reflect this broader focus.
Don’t worry: I will still be writing about MGTOWs and MRAs and the other strange misogynistic creatures that I’ve been writing about from the beginning. While I recognize they are but a sideshow in the era of Trump, I just can’t quit them, and I suspect that a lot of you can’t either.
I was doing all right until a couple hours ago. Now I’m starting to slide back into despair. Trump has such utter disdain for the Constitution and anyone less well-off than himself, and his lackeys are personality cultists. Our rights are only as secure as the resolve of those charged with protecting them.
I’m starting to think Michael Moore is right, and this is the end. Of pretty much everything.
Yeah. I wanna make clear that when I saw Russia, this is what I’m talking about. I know the Russian people aren’t their government.
Nah. To be specific as I will be, I live in El Dorado county. It’s pinetrees, wineries, and gold rush tourist traps on the mountain side. There are cows, horses, goats and sheep though. We have ranchers, cowboys and underpaid and likely illegal immigrant workers, not farmers. And not a lot of religious stuff, actually. Kinda hard since all the nearby places are barely towns and most people live on dirt roads in the forest, like myself. The only churches I’ve ever been to were in Plymouth and Ione and those places are out of the way.
@kupo — I knoooooooooow. Ugh.
Oh hey, maybe it isn’t an extinction burst, it’s more likely destruction burst.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tobias-stone/history-tells-us-what-will-brexit-trump_b_11179774.html
History — really fucking useful to know.
Oh, and I’m also being told that the feeling of waking up on 11/9 and feeling like you’re unwanted and unwelcome in your own country is how the people who voted for Trump have always felt, so we just need to understand where those people are coming from. This argument, of course, ignores the distinction between being unwanted in your country because of who you are and being unwanted because of how you treat others. I have little sympathy for bigots who feel isolated because of their beliefs, words, and actions.
Yesterday night (mind, I live in a different time zone) I was sexually assaulted. I could only think about Trump and how apparently, such behaviour is cool if your skin colour is either orange or white. Many people in my country support him who would otherwise condemn sexual assault if done by ”muslims”/”immigrants”. If done by a white/orange person, nobody gives a shit and if you complain, you’re an ”SJW”.
For the time being, I hate everyone who remotely supports this shit. Such a person looks at my ”story” (not a native speaker, I mean, all those ”events”) and says ”oh, too bad, f* those muslims” but if it would involve Trump or any other white guy, I’d be a lying bigot and an anti-white misandrist.
Just a few minutes ago, I spoke to a friend of mine who has an IQ that is around 80-85. People love to mock him, but still, he has more decency than many ”smarter” guys: with all his grammar and spelling mistakes, he was more reasonable than many manospherians.
I honest to God don’t want to be condescending towards low-IQ people and if I am, please say so. I’ve been speaking to this guy for years and have gotten to know him as a sincerely nice person. I just find it painful if people associate (lack of) ”intelligence”/IQ with being decent.
@Futrelle
I feel very motivated to sign up for a Patreon right now wink wink nudge
@Margot
<3 <3 <3
@Margot
I’m so sorry. Words can’t even begin to convey. Just be kind to yourself, okay?
I really REALLY needed this. My head has been burning like the fires of every circle of hell since this nightmare happened. I’m African-American, and I live in a small town in the Lone Star state, so I’ll let your imaginations do what they want with that. Dallas, the other big cities, and our border is generally democratic, but it’s not enough “to taste”, per se. Thanks again for the blog post.
@Margot
I am so, so sorry!
*hugs* (if you want them)
Am I doing something wrong? I’m trying to post my long reply, but it isn’t showing on my side? Should I shorten it? I posted it twice, so sorry for spamming. I copy pasted it from word, so maybe I should instead paste it from notepad?
wwth said
A story: In 1979, at the end part of the Cold War, I was learning (Soviet) Russian at the Defense Language Institute. All of our instructors were people who had defected from the Soviet Union. One lady told us that they were taught as children that Americans were actually baby-eaters! And that a lot of Soviet kids grew up believing that. We all laughed, but then, I thought: How many Soviets were deterred from trying to defect by stories like that?
But yeah. People everywhere are more alike than not; we’re all just tryin’ to get by the best we can.
In an area heavy with Mormons — adherents of a particularly misogynistic, homophobic, and far-right religion — I saw something that heartened me: two signs posted, one saying words to the effect of “Say No to Fascism, Bigotry, and Hate” and another saying words to the effect of “Stand up for Muslims, Women, LGBT, PoC, &c.” probably inspired by the election of T.H.O. Groper.
Edit: My avatar should be the lowercase Greek letter beta. Is it?
Thank you for the nice replies! They’re very helpful after all the debates I had with Trump supporters….
Thanks!
@Margot
*hugs
@Laugher at Bigots, Mincing Betaboy
It sure is.
I’ve been lurking on this website for a few months now and, in light of recent events, decided to actually introduce myself.
Hi. This is not a good time for introductions.
This is a small rant/warning (because it’s late night for me and I’m depressed and I need to vent. I’m sorry in advance), based on my experiences as a citizen of Poland.
(TW’s for various -phobias, indirect mention of the Holocaust)
You know that country, right? That sorta-Eastern-Europe-but-not-quite place which usually only comes up when people are talking about immigrants. And, in the last year, when people are talking about failing democracies.
About a year ago, this country (I refuse to call it mine, despite being born and raised here – I do not feel at home here, and I suspect I never will) elected a new government, which pretty much immediately crippled the constitutional court and taken over the state media, which were always slightly in favour of the ruling party but still reasonably neutral. And it was just the beginning.
And the thing people don’t usually tell you about living somewhere that’s slowly going off the rails is – life goes on. Sure, every day I check the news to see if they have already completely banned abortion or something similar, but in general not that much has changed, on the surface. There were anti-government protests at first; quite a lot of them. Most of them were dismissed as, and I’m pretty much quoting the official party line here, “pigs squealing when they are dragged away from the trough”. Yes, that is an actual thing that government officials and ‘their’ media are saying about the opposition. There is even some truth to it – the party that was in power before was quite corrupt and has grown incredibly complacent. They believed, mistakenly, that to win the elections they must only point their finger at PiS – the current party in power – and say “but they are worse than us!” See how well that went for them.
Also, one of the main ways PiS used to convince people to vote for them was to warn them of the refugees. They have single-handedly created a deep hatred of them… in a country that has never had any. Muslims and LGBTQA and anyone who is even slightly different became targets too (well, okay, they were already targets before [especially Muslims and LGT, I don’t think many people here even know what the other letters stand for], but it got so much worse). 97% of Polish citizens are of Polish nationality, making us one of the most homogeneous countries in the world. Now the word ‘refugee’ is a cruel name children call each other on the playground. It has been completely disconnected from its meaning – it doesn’t describe a human being anymore. At this point I’m not even surprised when someone I thought was better than that says something like “refugees are like cattle” or “we have perfectly good gas chambers for their kind”. One of the largest exports of this country are its people, moving to UK or Germany or USA in search of a better life, so the irony is overwhelming.
But, as I said, life goes on. And every time I talk to someone about politics I get closer to some breaking point, because all I hear is “but the other party deserved it, they got complacent, they were just enriching themselves, oh and also abortion is evil and gay people are delusional/deserve to die”. And nobody cares about public institutions being dismantled, or the country falling in debt at neck-breaking speed, or our completely ruined reputation and credibility, or the growing hatred for anyone who is not ‘us’.
What I want you to take from all this is that your democratic institutions and values are a lot more fragile than you think. And that it’s so easy to just go on as usual and pretend that everything is fine and every day wake up in a world that is just this tiniest bit more hostile, more suffocating, than it was the day before.
I have seen both Trump’s win and the Brexit vote coming. I have already seen hate win – it was not unreasonable to expect that it would do so again. I badly wanted to be wrong.
Please, please be more careful than we were. That article on surviving in an autocracy is on point, and I’m speaking from experience. This is just the beginning. You have to organize and be vigilant, or you will one day find yourself strangers in what used to be your country.
Oh my gosh, @Margot. I’m so sorry. My heart goes out to you <3
https://media.tenor.co/images/fce52d900cd150263997b2711c186832/raw
Humans…are confusing. People make up weird shit about other people and cultures, and I don’t understand how people can believe in it.
Like, I knew a girl in high school who thought that Japanese women got pregnant by American men so they could move to America–because, like, the honorable thing to do was to go and marry the man or something and their parents paid for it or whatever? IDK, it was weird and not worth remembering.
I just don’t understand this strain of logic in which someone lives in a different place, so they must act completely weird and alien.
@Hambeast
As has been said here before, you have to take care of yourself (and Catbeasts) before taking care of others. Don’t feel bad for doing that.
@Snowberry
Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
(People unfamiliar with The Princess Bride – we’re geeking out, just ignore us. Or go and watch the film. It’s very good.)
I really, really needed to read this today. I’m a longtime lurker here and love this wonderful community. I’m so angry at the outcome and feel useless and depressed all the time now. I’m crying for minorities and Muslims, and wondering how our country came to this. America will never be the same again and this election set us back in so many different ways. Coming here today and reading this, I feel more hopeful that I’m not alone and that not everyone hates and dismisses women.
Does anyone else feel betrayed by our country? I am so sorry for my maudlin post. I just needed to write this out because I feel so angry inside.
@Neveragaine
Welcome and thank you for sharing.
My heart goes out to you and the people of Poland who are suffering. 🙁
Do not try to tell me that there are people who haven’t seen that film. My ancient 52-year-old brain will ‘asplode.
@Hambeast, @Margot, and @Karalora – please accept my heartfelt good wishes toward you. I know it’s not worth the electronic ink it’s printed with, but it’s all I have.
@Karalora in particular – I think many of us are going to be experiencing that kind of emotional loop-de-loop in the days and weeks ahead. There are times I feel strong and capable of dealing with this, and there are times when I feel numb despair. I hope that cycle slows for all of us.
@Neveragaine (got lost in the Iron Republic), welcome, and thank you. I’m in Canada, in a part of the country that’s heavily Polish and Ukrainian. One of my best friends is Polish; he goes back home every year or two. I’m slightly familiar with your struggles, and I wish you and your country all the very best. You have friends overseas!
@The Menopausal Gen-X Magpie, I almost missed you too! Welcome!
Newt Gingrich wants new House Un-American Activities Committee
http://67.media.tumblr.com/7bb4986661e6948e51bd7febcb5b2211/tumblr_mhrrxqvTjd1s5p5xno1_400.jpg
Can I just mention that I WISH I could have come up with an internet handle as cool as “The Menopausal Gen-X Magpie”? Argh, why do I have to be so bad at picking noms d’internet?
And I am waiting not-so-very-patiently-anymore-because-dammit-this-is-taking-forever to be menopausal myself. HELLO, I REALLY AM DONE HAVING CHILDREN, LET’S TAKE CARE OF THIS, SHALL WE?