Categories
antifeminism antifeminist women hypocrisy irony alert J-Law misogyny racism reactionary bullshit thinking housewife

“Thinking Housewife” thinks female astronauts would be happier changing diapers on earth

Or maybe not?
Or maybe not?

It’s been quite some time since we last checked in with the genteel racist and Holocaust-denier who calls herself The Thinking Housewife. Flipping through her blog archive today, I could not find it in me to click on posts with such unappetising titles as “Usury and Homosexuality” and “Martin Luther King: Commie Fraud.”

But her recent post on lady astronauts got my attention. In it, Laura Wood (her real name, evidently), throws some reactionary shade at NASA for the unforgivable sin of training four women for space work and a possible trip to the Red Planet.

As Wood sees it, Mars does NOT need women, because a trip to yucky Mars pales in comparison to the joys of full-time housewifery.

[T]he things these women could accomplish within the dramatic and exciting Inner Space of their own homes so dwarfs what they could accomplish on Mars (where they won’t be going anyway), that the very suggestion is an outrage.

Wait, I thought Innerspace was the movie in which Dennis Quaid got shrunken down to microscopic size, Fantastic Voyage style, and accidentally injected into Martin Short?

Who would trade insipid, lifeless, finite Mars (Yuck!! Revolting!!) for the chance to create and influence human beings, each one of whom is a fascinating planet, an eternal sphere of consummate adventure, a being that is utterly unique and made in God’s image?

Apparently, God is a tiny bald, incontinent person who can barely walk straight and communicates mainly through shrieks and vomiting, yet is somehow also adorable?

If that isn’t power, what is?

Uh, being president? I mean, having a kid is a momentous thing, for mothers and fathers alike, and fulfilling in many ways that even being president or taking a trip to freakin Mars couldn’t ever be. (Or so I’ve heard.) But it’s not power.

And seriously, if the thing you value most about your children is that they’re small enough to boss around, you’re probably not cut out to be a parent. Go run for president, or something.

God gave men galaxies and distant planets and asteroids to compensate them for the misfortune — and unfairness — of never being able to become mothers.

And God says this where? I’m a dude with no uterus, and I never got my owner’s certificate for everything in the sky.

Outer Space takes their minds off the unfairness of it all, something women have been kind enough to recognize in the past by not denying those who have dreamed of being astronauts since they were little boys of the chance to experience the “vomit comet.”

I’m just going to let J-Law here handle my response:

Eventually we will communicate entirely through Jennifer Lawrence reaction gifs
Eventually we will communicate entirely through Jennifer Lawrence reaction gifs

Dudes, if you’re truly furious that some darn woman has stolen what should rightfully be your spot on the “vomit comet” — the affectionate name for the plane in which astronauts first get used to the joys of zero gravity — you can actually just pay these guys to have the very same experience.

Women don’t want it anyway. If someone came to my door when my children were young, blossoming creatures and said, “Hey, lady, you have just won a trip to Mars!,” I would have told him to get lost. I would do the same now.

Uh, yeah, and so would I. But I’m not all men, and you’re not all women, and neither of us has the right to be making these decisions for other people.

I just hope that Mars turns out to be as cool as the moon.

Far freakin out!
Far freakin out!
98 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Eonid
Eonid
6 years ago

@ Amused
@ SFHC

That made me laugh more than the OP, which was pretty funny (have to find it funny, or it’s just… too… sad. Fuck.)

J Star
J Star
6 years ago

Even fairly retrogressive Heinlein imagined brave women colonizing space along with men, so they could, you know, have babies and change diapers out in the space colonies. Geez.

Leda Atomica
Leda Atomica
6 years ago

You think in the wilderness when the dawn of man was just peeking over the horizon, our forefathers came home from exploring galaxies so that we could lovingly cook the food they had hunted from Titan while the lady ancestors stayed at home staring at their babies and hoped not to be eaten by some horrendous ancient carnivore?

Food was a-plenty so women just set house while men beat it to death with their space-exploring bare hands and dumped it on the dining room table. Because women would have found that icky. Yuck, survival.

God gave men galaxies and planets but forgot to give them the ability to even reach outside our own atmosphere until quite recently? However, the ability to look into the vast “inner space” of our young has been the privilege of all genders forever. It’s not outside of a father’s range of abilities. Sorry you haven’t had that in your own life.

This isn’t thought-evoking brilliance, oh “Thinking” Housewife. This is projecting your own resentments, fears and regrets onto other women. I feel a little bad for you.

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

What’s with this “thinking housewife” name, anyway? Is she implying that other housewives don’t think? That’s… pretty thoughtless, wouldn’t you say?

I would hope to shout! Considering that pretty much everything on her blog is dedicated to her life of unthinking smugness, the very title is an oxymoron. Oh, the irony of being a “thinking housewife” who “thinks” that other housewives…can’t think. Special snowflake syndrome much?

And if she’s so enamored of housewifery, maybe she’d better just get on with that and leave all the haaaard, pesky thinking to the menz. I mean, it’s not like she’s any good at it, anyway.

Freemage
Freemage
6 years ago

Policy of Madness
February 22, 2016 at 8:19 pm

God gave men galaxies and distant planets and asteroids to compensate them for the misfortune — and unfairness — of never being able to become mothers.

So what did God give to women to compensate them for the misfortune and unfairness of never being able to become fathers?

I honestly find this “hear my uterus roar with Goddess power” line crossed with unabashed patriarchy to be fascinating. How does someone get to that stage? What thought processes led to this particular synthesis? This isn’t the first time I’ve run into it, but I still don’t understand how a (cis) woman can convince herself that she is simultaneously the bearer of the greatest power of the world and also inferior to (cis) men in every important respect.

It’s the lesser-known cousin to Sour Grapes. Instead of dissing the thing you don’t have, you opt to believe that what you do have is the be-all and end-all of fantabulousness. So she tells herself that despite having become “potbound”, (a perfect phrase for it), she still somehow is winning the game. Of course, that particular form of cognitive dissonance coping is much easier if you first convince yourself that all of your choices are going to get you first in line at the Pearly Gates. See, she gets the house in this life, and the seat at the head of the table in the afterlife, so it’s fair after all.

dontgiveahoot
February 22, 2016 at 8:19 pm

Not to mention, what about transwomen and infertile cis women who can’t fall pregnant? What about disabled or mentally ill women whose medical issues mean they are not suited for parenthood? What about women who just plain out aren’t suited for parenthood or child guardianship due to personality? Can they go to Mars? (Yay! I can go to Mars! I can go to Mars! I don’t care if it’s yucky, I can save the poor dear Rover!)

Transgender individuals are not going to be on this woman’s radar, let’s face it. If asked directly about it, she’d say that a trans woman was denying her path ordained by God already (by attempting to undo His handiwork in giving her the genitalia He did), so obviously anything else she does is just going to be wrong from there.

Women who aren’t suited for motherhood? Why, such an idea! Clearly, EVERY woman is suited for motherhood, it’s the bestest thing ever and ever, and thus all women should immediately begin working to acquire a husband and make a baby (or 5!). (The ‘husband’ part is required because Moses said so.)

As for those poor unfortunate souls who are stricken with infertility, clearly, God selected them to be adoptive mothers and caregivers for the elderly. Remember, you’re not a real woman if you’re not nurturing someone at the cost of your own identity!

LindsayIrene
February 23, 2016 at 9:55 am

Are the only choices going to Mars or having a baby? Is there no third option that involves dinosaurs?

Taking care of baby dinosaurs on Mars sounds pretty awesome, honestly.

Holytape
6 years ago

As a father, I would be happier changing diapers on earth as opposed to doing in outer space. Let’s just say that the results of a diet of mashed sweet potatoes and milk does not bode well in micro-gravity.

Razwick
Razwick
6 years ago

Okay I realize that this woman wouldn’t give a crap either way, but sending all kinds of women (won’t have kids, will but haven’t, already have) into space is REALLY AWESOME for science.

If we have even the faintest chance of ever doing long term space travel where you’d end up conceiving and birthing children in space, these women could provide invaluable data towards understanding just the kinds of effects that space travel have on women’s reproductive systems.

Plus space is just really goddamn cool and no one should be denied the right to strive to explore it if they dedicate themselves and meet the requirements.

guy
guy
6 years ago

My understanding is that the scientific consensus on giving birth in zero-gravity is “don’t do that” and you’re looking at a difficult birth and crippling physical issues at best. Giving birth in Lunar or Martian gravity may well be different, but probably inadvisable if you ever intend to take the child into Earth gravity.

On the other hand, as MRAs are fond of reminding people women are on average lower-mass, and getting any amount of mass out of the atmosphere is really, really expensive and there are serious suggestions that long-range missions in the near future might be most practical with an all-female team.

Razwick
Razwick
6 years ago

Oh definitely, right now all we know is that birth in space is a terrible idea, but we’re never going to change that unless we study it. And to be clear, I’m thinking long-long-term where people might be in an environment with artificial gravity but still in space. Zero G comes with a whole extra set of challenges.

And of course that’s not the only reason that women should be allowed in space, but reproduction or not, I think it’s important that we study the effects of space on both genders. Our bodies are different and in at least some cases will react differently to the stresses of being in space.

Good point about women typically weighing less too, I didn’t think of that. Particularly when you’re comparing peak specimens of both genders.

katz
6 years ago

Also, that way of expressing yourself (“revolting!! yucky!!”) probably doesn’t work on anyone who isn’t a toddler* so maybe she does need to get out more!

Also it’s a lot of people’s reaction to toddlers.

Alan Robertshaw
6 years ago

In the early days of space travel serious consideration was given to training amputees to be astronauts. Legs are pretty superfluous in space and it’s just extra weight to get up there. Also amputees use less food and oxygen.

xthetenth
xthetenth
6 years ago

Amputees in space has some pretty good precedent in Douglas Bader, he definitely proved piloting and all that stereotypical stuff isn’t carried in the legs.

Lady Mondegreen
6 years ago

When I was a little girl I dreamed of being an astronaut.

This was before we went to the moon for the first time. Space exploration was in the zeitgeist, but I had never heard of Valentina Tereshkova, and wasn’t sure if women were allowed to be astronauts. I didn’t let that stop me, though. I put some Tang in a plastic bag (Tang was and is a powder for making an orange-flavored drink, it was advertised as astronauts’ drink) and sat on my parents’ big bed (my spaceship) and fantasized.

I also thought it was cool that women could give birth. Babies didn’t interest me personally, but it was nice to know I would have that superpower, if I ever wanted it. I didn’t want to be a boy. I liked being a girl, and I dreamed of spaceships and space travel.

Poor TTH. Her childhood dreams must have been quashed. Or maybe she just never had much imagination to begin with.

(Still would go to space, if I could.)

taiki
taiki
6 years ago

Hasn’t she seen The seminal work, Mars Needs Moms?

I thought she was the thinking housewife.

Paradoxical Intention - Resident Cheeseburger Slut

Freemage | February 23, 2016 at 10:46 am
It’s the lesser-known cousin to Sour Grapes. Instead of dissing the thing you don’t have, you opt to believe that what you do have is the be-all and end-all of fantabulousness.

Kind of like when you were a kid, and you could only afford one game console, so you convinced yourself that you got the “right” console, and everyone else was just stupid and made the “wrong” choice.

And thus started the great Console Wars.

Social Justice Atheist
Social Justice Atheist
6 years ago

@Lea

You’re 100% right about the father thing. I just wasn’t sure how trans women felt about that, and didn’t want to speak for them because I know that it’s not my place. Thanks for the correction.

I’m sorry if I may have offended anyone there. I am not a perfect ally but I am trying hard to learn and listen.

Chris O
Chris O
6 years ago

Re: the unthinking housewife, you should read what her comments section says about the American Revolution.

Or better yet, DON’T read it.

Leah
Leah
6 years ago

See, this stuff gets me really angry. For personal reasons. Outer space has always been my #1 love since I was a little girl, and for this woman (if she even is a woman–it’s the internet, so who knows, although you do give her real name) to suggest that it’s fundamentally at odds with my gender is beyond reprehensible.

Inkswitch
Inkswitch
6 years ago

Dear Men
We are so sorry that you will never know the joys of being a mother. To help take your mind off of the unfairness of it all, feel free to embark on epic journeys across space while taking part in ground-breaking discoveries that advance our species as a whole. I know it isn’t as good as child-rearing, but it’s the best we can do.
Sincerely,
“Thinking” Housewife

Bacon
Bacon
6 years ago

I’m always astonished by how much effort conservatives will go to, just to keep women in our ‘natural’ place. Without ever apparently considering that if it truly was our natural god-ordained place, we probably wouldn’t keep wandering off to do cool stuff?

Freemage
Freemage
6 years ago

Bacon: That’s an excellent point. There must be some reason for it all….

Fruitloopsie
Fruitloopsie
6 years ago

There’s nothing wrong for women who want to stay at home, take care of the children, etc and there’s nothing wrong with women who don’t want to get married, have children, etc but the problem is people (including thinking housewife) need to stop shoving “biology” and whatever down other people’s throats, everybody has different likes, dislikes and dreams including me, I don’t want to get pregnant and if everyone was the same then the world would be so boring.

Just my opinions and what I learned but a cis man and trans woman putting sperm in a cis woman and trans man is not the same as a person with a uterus carrying and raising the baby and we don’t need sperm to have children we can have children with bone marrow. And I think a mother is a female parent so a cis woman and trans woman should be called “mother” and father should be cis man and trans man.

Social Justice Atheist
Social Justice Atheist
6 years ago

@Fruitloopsie

You’re absolutely right, thanks to everyone who corrected me. Any female parent would be a mother and any male parent a father, cis or trans. Everyone who corrected me is right, it has nothing to do with whether you carry the child or not. And I suppose a non-binary or agender person would choose to call themselves whatever they feel most comfortable with, but I’m cis so I can’t speak for them. (Not that it’s any of my business anyway.)

*Also I meant to put *Caitlyn Jenner on my post on the first page. I accidentally spelled it with a “K” instead.

%d bloggers like this: