So PUA nimrod and would-be philosopher-king Roosh Valizadeh has put on his “science” hat again, reporting what he describes as the “two seismic implications” of a recent study of flies.
The first is that a woman can absorb enough DNA during her lifetime that it changes her phenotype (i.e. her appearance and overall health state). There could be some truth to the phrase “slut face” in which highly promiscuous women suffer a change to their appearance because of all the variable sperm from different males that have been deposited inside them.
Wat.
The second implication stems from the fact that it’s scientifically conclusive that single mothers have DNA of their bastard children residing permanently within their bodies. Any man who reproduces with a single mom will have a child that contains DNA from the bastard spawn, which of course includes DNA from the absentee father. This means that men can be genetically cuckolded without being traditionally cuckolded, and that having a baby with a single mom is essentially giving the father of her first child a bonus prize in the game of evolution.
Now I’m no biologist, but this seems like a giant stinky pile of horseshit to me. I mean, what the hell?
In the interests of actual science — as distinct from PUA “science” — I sent Roosh’s post along to actual biologist PZ Myers.
His first reaction was “ick.” And then he sat down and wrote a post in which he declared that “there’s literally nothing correct in any of that mess” from Roosh I just quoted.
Nothing. Roosh has imposed his faulty, biased interpretation on the work in a way that would certainly horrify the authors.
Naturally, the conclusions that Roosh draws from his completely wrong premises are also completely wrong:
For thousands of years, a woman’s purity was cherished above all else when it came to creating a family. Now the scientific community is confirming the validity of that practice. Until the science is settled, men who insist on reproducing with a promiscuous woman should at least demand to interview her previous sexual partners so he can become familiar with the men whose genes may be passed on to his future children.
I think it’s fairly safe to say that the only DNA Roosh will be passing along to future generations will be found on the kleenex on the floor next to his bed after he dies alone and unloved in whatever obscure country he ends up in because he thinks it’s the least feminist on earth.
You can see PZ’s full takedown here.
I want this to be a reality.
…dear me, they actually think that you can absorb sperm cells sublingually?
Dear dudes. Last I checked, sublingual medications must be soluble, as medications administered that way primarily enter by diffusion.
Luckily for successful reproduction (and unfortunately for this unfortunate theory), human germ cells are not soluble.
If they were, we’d be in trouble. As a species. Because nothing would work. Seriously.
Also, microchimerism does not work that way.
It’s amazing to me how this idiot has any followers at all. I wish I could get on ROK, though. Still showing that error for me. I don’t like to miss “alpha try hard,” Troy Francis’s weekly tall tales.
If it makes guys look (or better yet, act) like Marko from Saga, I’m down.
http://media.tumblr.com/560ade8e1b61de8be055e51b257f0d98/tumblr_inline_n60h41E4Ty1qzfyvp.jpg
What the what? Feel sorry for PZ having to rebut such a wild argument. Yet Roosh has fans who take him seriously. Yikes!
China. He will likely die in China where all the women who aren’t married by 25 are actually called “leftover women.”
Or in the case of Roosh, the 30-rape stare.
If I added salamander genes to my cells would Whole Foods refuse to serve me because I’d be a GMO? Could I give people GMO cooties by breathing on them?
So, wait, is this like Spiderman getting “injected” with spider DNA, only it doesn’t even have to be radioactive?
I’m off to go ride the Alpha Cock Carousel and gain the proportionate strength of ten men.
According to Roosh’s article, this entire premise seems to hinge on whether sperm enters a woman’s body at some point in her life. So really, a woman can have sex with as many partners as she wants, provided a condom has always been used, thereby eliminating the chance of any part of her pure body from being soiled by another man’s splooge. It’s almost like a back-handed attempt to promote the widespread use of condoms, from a guy who doesn’t like to use them.
If there was any legitimacy to his article, then we’d have to worry about all the little Roosh bastards that he has indirectly sired across Columbia and Eastern Europe. Denmark, you are safe…for now.
http://www.commdiginews.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/roosh1.jpg
Or maybe:
http://www.pualingo.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/roosh-v-pua-220×300.jpg
Hm… maybe Roosh was just reading a few old copies of Der Stürmer? The Nazis, who were, after all, famous for their firm grasp of science (irony alert, needless to say), just “thought” the same: the pure Aryan maiden’s womb would be spoiled- and irreversibly lost to the Master Race- by even one drop of Jewish seed. Hence their vile attacks (among countless others) on Jewish-Gentile couples. It really is a rather distasteful parallel, to put it mildly, but given that this guy- who drags the the name of a noted Achaemenid emperor into the mud- is quite the anti-semitic nut…
JESUS CRHSIT I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THOSE PHOTOS THE FUCK
I don’t get what’s so shameful about harboring a few alleles that aren’t from your parents. Genes get combined and recombined all the time. It’s not as if an individual’s DNA sequence is permanent and unassailable. It doesn’t persist for more than a few generations before being watered down by subsequent pairings (assuming you’re not the Hapsburgs). Roosh is just imagining that his cuckolding paranoia and purity fetish play out at the cellular level, too. Next he’ll be using bad science to prove that promiscuous women have “slut” quarks whose spin is permanently altered by “charm” quarks from Chad spooge. It’s fractal douchebaggery.
Maybe it’s not a bad thing that Roosh and his followers are constantly freaking out over slut-shaming woo. The smaller the pool of women they consider acceptable, the better for all of us.
@sunny – AIEE!!! I just threw a beer at my screen!
Those Roosh pics.
http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/080/164/364.jpg
http://www.bsd-box.net/~mikeg/blog/uploads/entry_media/Misc/DONOTWANT_cat.jpg
http://awesomegifs.com/wp-content/uploads/llama-cant-deal-with-it.gif
You know, if roosh ever gets arrested for something the media will have no shortage of creepy picture of him to use.
Did you at least bless it first?
That would certainly explain why so many MRAs look like somebody’s glued googly eyes to their pictures.
I’m sure he thinks he’s projecting smoldering seduction vibes, but really, all I’m getting is a massive dose of Teh Creepeh.
I take my thyroid meds sublingually, and it takes about 15 minutes for the pill to fully dissolve. Somehow I can’t picture a woman lounging around the house with a mouth full of jizz long enough for it to actually absorb. Also omg – my meds are derived from pig thyroid, which means I am part pig now, according to AssScience. Bonus! I shall await my truffle-finding super powers.
Well yes, this is why when you’re thirsty you just jump in the shower, or put your hand under the tap. Soaks it right up in there, into all the cells and stuff. I have my foot in a pot of tea right now. Delicious.
Has anyone ever ridden their bike through a cloud of gnats and accidentally swallowed one? I guess we’re all part gnat now.
Also, if you eat meat, eggs, and dairy do you become part whichever animal you’ve consumed?
Oh my various gods …. Don’t post pictures of Roosh without warning! I almost punched my laptop!
Ridden bike AND walked. And it’s happened with mosquitoes, too. I guess that explains my urge to mill around in mid-air and emit high-pitched whining buzzes…
@Paradoxical – Oops, no, I forgot to bless it. But I am burning sage to purify my tablet.
@Tracy – What kind of tea is it? It could be altering your ethnicity.