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How Not To Be a Male Feminist Creep: 8 Lessons From the Ben Schoen Meltdown

So @benschoen, the putatively feminist co-founder of feminspire and the former co-host of a popular Harry Potter podcast, is having a bit of a meltdown on Twitter at the moment.

Well, more than a bit of a meltdown. He’s flying apart like the washing machine in the video above, announcing and quickly canceling online “press conferences,” lashing out at critics with bizarre “jokes” and weird threats, and generally acting like a giant ass.

For example:

https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633325425272451072

https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633712589265088512

https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633715930883846144

https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633468512250535940

https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633461383309475840

https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633422642805084162

https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633398579042865154

https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633322695397142528

https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633715165054267393

https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633382676746121216

In addition to joking about menstruation and comparing himself to woman-beating pro football player Ray Rice, he’s also made some super-funny jokes about committing suicide:

https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633322086551953408

https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633342393815842820

https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633382587113820160

Oh, and for some reason he keeps mentioning Hitler.

https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633716053026205696

https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633397429820354560

https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633390461143654400

The whole thing started yesterday when Buzzfeed writer Grace Spelman posted screenshots of some Tweets and messages Schoen had sent her — first hitting on her in an exceedingly creepy manner and then reacting with fury and additional creepiness when she politely told him she had a boyfriend.

After Spelman posted her screenshots, other women came forward who said they’d had their own weird experiences with Schoen, including the co-founder of feminspire and a former writer for the site, both of whom evidently left the site because they couldn’t deal with Schoen’s creepy ass any more.

You can read more of the details over on NYmag.com, or on Jezebel, or on Spelman’s Twitter timeline. Or watch the continuing horrorshow live on Twitter.

Are there any lessons to be learned from all this? Why, yes, there are. Here are 8 Ways to Not Be a Male Feminist Creep, inspired by Schoen’s meltdown.

1) If you’ve never spoken to a woman before and the only reason she knows who you are is because she was a fan of a podcast you were on eight years ago, don’t be surprised if she doesn’t respond to a completely out-of-the-blue tweet to her.

2) And for god’s sake don’t try to force her to respond by going all stalkery on her.

CMnrMrmUYAEz48D CMnrMxnUAAEBEKc3) And if she doesn’t respond to your stalkerish Tweets, don’t write her an even creepier Facebook message, I mean what the fuck were you even hoping to accomplish with this, dude?

CMnrvCSUAAQvTWj

4) And if she actually responds politely to all this creepiness and gently suggests you move on (see above), don’t send her a series of angry, insulting Tweets.

CMnsVWMVEAAP7X5

 5) And then don’t write her a furious 1500 word diatribe that you don’t send, then write an, er, “apology” that you do send that starts off by mentioning the furious 1500 word diatribe you didn’t send.

CMnsxrWUsAE51Um

6) When the woman you’ve thoroughly creeped out with all of this shit posts screenshots to Twitter, don’t dig your hole deeper with an endless stream of awful Tweets (see above).

7) And when your meltdown becomes so spectacular that it actually attracts press coverage, don’t send a message to one press outlet declaring that

I have done more for the cause of advancing women’s rights than any of the people who are criticizing me.

Because, dude, you haven’t.

And even if you had, it still wouldn’t justify any of this.

But, you know what, you don’t need to remember all of these rules if you can just remember the following:

8) If you send a message to a woman you’ve never spoken to before in your life and she doesn’t respond, just move the fuck on.

How hard is that?

 

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kirbywarp
kirbywarp
6 years ago

Somebody better keep this thread bookmarked… when next month we get someone talking about how the commentariat are so cliquish that they gleefully chased away a woman of color simply for the crime of offering a small criticism of the blog. -_-

01010101010101
6 years ago

I genuinely don’t understand how anyone likes this Bina person or calls them a feminist when they literally said this
“and doesn’t think a white man has the right to criticize/satirize/mock other mostly-white dudes”

That’s racist and misogynistic. Straight up.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
6 years ago
Paradoxical Intention
6 years ago

kirbywarp | August 21, 2015 at 6:18 pm
Somebody better keep this thread bookmarked… when next month we get someone talking about how the commentariat are so cliquish that they gleefully chased away a woman of color simply for the crime of offering a small criticism of the blog. -_-

Next month? I’ll be surprised if it doesn’t happen three days from now.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
6 years ago

I doubt the bookmarked thread’ll matter. It hasn’t every single other time.

semaphore
6 years ago

Wow. Talk about space for discussion. I remember a time when this site had way more MRA trolls, and regulars weren’t that hostile to different opinions. It’s weird how no one seem to understand that confused cats against feminism could potentially be offensive to some feminists. There isn’t even any room for discussion! I personally don’t think it was David’s greatest work (I also believe it was somewhat trivializing), but it doesn’t change that I appreciate his work overall.

@scented chairs
“I’m a gay woman. Other regulars are bi/pan women. Black women. Hispanic women. Asian women. Trans women. Trans men. Nonbinary people. Even cishet white dudes!”

Well, if you remember the last manboobz ‘census’, it’s pretty fucking white around here. There’s a shitty history of white feminists not listening to feminists who aren’t white, and it might be nice to start listening. That’s what makes mainstream feminism so lily white and it’s pathetic. You don’t have to agree with her, but come on, David can take mild criticism.

01010101010101
6 years ago

“I think part of the problem is that you came in criticizing a blog you’ve now admitted you’ve barely read, assuming that your issue hadn’t already been addressed earlier when this blog is years old and has hundreds of posts.”

But I don’t have to read his entire blog to criticize one thing, Cats Against Feminism. I did not rail against his blog in any way. I’ve only had one issue with it, which is the aforementioned meme. I see what you mean but I admitted openly I was not familiar with this commenting system or what people had commented on previous threads. When I asked if anyone was going to bring that up I meant in that thread, specifically. Of this specific article. Because it’s about male feminists, or a self proclaimed “male feminist.” And I found the whole thing ironic because we’re still all on a site run by a white guy who gets inordinate amount of praise for his feminism (whether he proclaims himself a feminist or not) and allyship, yet the thing he got arguably the most media attention and praise for is Cats Against Feminism.

Paradoxical Intention
6 years ago

01010101010101 | August 21, 2015 at 6:24 pm
I genuinely don’t understand how anyone likes this Bina person or calls them a feminist when they literally said this
“and doesn’t think a white man has the right to criticize/satirize/mock other mostly-white dudes”

That’s racist and misogynistic. Straight up.

Alright, I’ll bite: How is a white man criticizing/satirizing/mocking other mostly-white dudes racist and misogynistic?

isidore13
isidore13
6 years ago

What praise are you referring to? And again, you’re assuming that this issue has never been addressed on this blog. How often does he need to address this issue to satisfy you? Would you be happy if he added some sort of disclaimer to every single post?

bvh
bvh
6 years ago

“It’s weird how no one seem to understand that confused cats against feminism could potentially be offensive to some feminists.”

To a reasonable person reading of CCAF , it is obviously a parody. No “Poe’s law”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poe's_law

is in play. It might not be everyone’s taste, but hardly offensive.

On topic: as a Harry Potter fan, this is very disappointing. Most of us were inspired to be more into, well, social justice. More links about this guy who is clearly a Deatheater:

http://www.themarysue.com/ben-schoen-grace-spelman/

http://jezebel.com/former-harry-potter-podcast-host-harasses-female-writer-1724700000

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
6 years ago

Eh, I didn’t find Cats Against Feminism funny anyway. Like, there was ONE that was good but otherwise it all fell flat.

cupisnique
cupisnique
6 years ago

This kid is sadly still going strong on twitter with his meltdown. The whole thing is bothersome because I’m sure he has gotten harassed as a result and it just gives him reason to point fingers back at his “attackers”.

He clearly behaved inappropriately and should have apologized and moved on, but this is just turning into a shit show where no one wins.

bvh
bvh
6 years ago

He’s one of those people who hide his anti social problems for years, then something happens and *meltdown*. Not sure how true this is, but if so, it’s bad:

“Ben admitting to peeing on sleeping girls at a Harry Potter convention.”

https://twitter.com/SarahSnitch/status/633441188884799488

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