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MGTOW Redditor warns unwary men of the dangers of sexy lady robot … SPIES!

Fembots: As dangerous as they are seductive
Fembots: As dangerous as they are seductive

So the fellas in the MGTOW subreddit are as excited as our old friend Heartiste about that Daily Mirror article predicting that we’ll all be schtupping robots in 50 years.

bidi123 28 points 1 day ago  It gets you off better than any woman ever could, as often as you want, and you don't have to do anything in return. Everything no woman ever did. Does not get old, does not get fat, does not want children... What's not to like? permalinkembedsavereportgive goldreply [–]TX_Man_ 19 points 23 hours ago  Not to mention no divorce and no false rape accusations permalinkembedsaveparentreportgive goldreply [–]bidi123 13 points 23 hours ago  and the most important bit: no condoms and std's

But one Redditor thinks he sees a possible danger in this seemingly perfect solution to every MGTOW’s lady problems: the sexy robot ladies could be … spies for Microsoft!

pirate6728 2 points 17 hours ago  Y'all are not gonna like me much. Under the immediate circumstances, I don't care. This still needs to be thought about and maybe discussed. A sexbot is the perfect vehicle for spyware. Think about it: Most men say things to their lovers (pillow talk) that they would never say to anybody else. If Microsoft, Google, Facebook and the Federal Government all want to learn your deepest, darkest secrets it would be hard to come up with a better way than a robot woman capable of real sex. We already have spyware of various sorts as it is. Google does all it can to learn everything. Microsoft just released Windows 10, and as part of that package you can turn on "Cortana" which does nothing but spy on you so it can--supposedly-- learn how to make your computing experience "better", and of course it's not hard to go on and on about the various ways the powers-that-be spy on us now. So-- give us a robot woman, programmed to learn about us so it "can make you more pleased with your experience"--- and you have spyware that would make Sean Connery drool when he played 007. Something to think about.

FADE IN

INT. MGTOW’S BEDROOM – NIGHT – 50 YEARS IN THE FUTURE

MGTOW and SEXBOT lie in futuristic bed after sex.

Sexbot turns to MGTOW and gives him a quizzical look.

 

SEXBOT

What are you thinking about, honey?

MGTOW

How women are filthy whores.

SEXBOT

Oh.

 

Silence.

 

SEXBOT

[Brightly] Let’s play a game!

MGTOW

What kind of game?

SEXBOT

Let’s play “can we remember our social security number.”

MGTOW

Ok, you start!

SEXBOT

I’m a sexbot, silly, I don’t have a social security number.

MGTOW

Ok, ok, 597-21 … wait a minute!

 

MGTOW leaps from the bed and points his finger at Sexbot, shaking with anger.

 

MGTOW

You’re a SPY! Just like that guy on Reddit warned me about!

SEXBOT

I’m not a spy, silly! I’m a sexbot!

MGTOW

Who are you working for? Microsoft? Google? SarkeesianCorp?

 

The END TABLE lets out a long sigh.

 

END TABLE

Dude, she works for SarkeesianCorp. I work for SarkesianCorp. You work for SarkeesianCorp.

MGTOW

Oh. I guess I do, huh?

END TABLE

No one’s even used Social Security numbers for like 20 years.

WALL SCONCE

She just wanted to play a fun game, you dingus.

MGTOW

[Turning to Wall Sconce] Do you work for SarkeesianCorp, too?

WALL SCONCE

Seriously? What do you think?

MGTOW

[Muttering to himself] Seems like everyone works for SarkeesianCorp these days.

CUT TO:

This popcorn is delicious indeed.

FADE OUT

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EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
6 years ago

davidgerard wins the thread, but only if you are likely to be impelled to behaviour modification as part of acausal trade.

Xanith
Xanith
6 years ago

“You don’t have to do anything in return,” they say?

They’re not gonna do anything or give anything back for their sexbots? Not even, y’know, maintain it or clean it at all?? Or at least send it in for someone else to maintain or clean it?

Falconer
Falconer
6 years ago

They’re not gonna do anything or give anything back for their sexbots? Not even, y’know, maintain it or clean it at all?? Or at least send it in for someone else to maintain or clean it?

Ewwwwwwwwwwwww.

Penny Psmith
Penny Psmith
6 years ago

I wish I knew what a futuristic bed looked like.

Like a plaid hoop earring. After all, it was made by SarkeesianCorp.

(Also, futuristic furniture is always oddly uncomfortable or impractical; egg-shaped chairs, hexagonal doors, and so on. Also, lots of buttons and screens that go ‘beep’.)

keshkirshkinra
6 years ago

I would watch that show. The one of a MRA in a future run by Sarkisiancorp inc. Ltd. Esq. Where they take all the advantages of society where men and wome are equal but bitches about how it use to be better.

Falconer
Falconer
6 years ago

@Penny Psmith:

Also, futuristic furniture is always oddly uncomfortable or impractical; egg-shaped chairs, hexagonal doors, and so on. Also, lots of buttons and screens that go ‘beep’.

All the beds on the Enterprise look like they’re upholstered, not made, and with scratchy glinty contains-metallic-threads stuff, too.

FifthInterval
6 years ago

Seriously – the idea that guys will naturally gravitate towards having sex with machines out of a desire to avoid any human-relationship entanglements *but would then engage in pillow-talk with them* is the most gloriously idiotic thing I’ve heard all week.

Falconer
Falconer
6 years ago

Awright, show of hands, those of you who sweet talk your sex toys.

Shaenon
6 years ago

It gets you off better than any woman ever could, as often as you want, and you don’t have to do anything in return. Everything no woman ever did. Does not get old, does not get fat, does not want children…

The same goes for your hand. And yet people continue to have sex and pursue relationships with each other, while also having sex with their hands.

Maybe these guys’ hands got old and fat.

All the guys on the MGTOW thread agree that women will hate and fear their sexbot superiors, which is odd considering that the thread is a response to this article:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/sex-robots-the-norm-50-6190575

…about a woman psychologist who studies “robophilia” and is mostly positive about it.

Zeb Berryman
6 years ago

Do these guys even do pillow talk with real women? I’m not seeing the cause for concern.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
6 years ago

Can I just say that in the Rick and Morty sexbot/spermjacking episode how great it is that Morty immediately recognized that his offspring was his responsibility? He made mistakes but he adulted the fuck up instantly.

And then his child ages within a week and writes a book about how horrible a parent he was.

davidgerard
6 years ago

> davidgerard wins the thread, but only if you are likely to be impelled to behaviour modification as part of acausal trade.

acausal spermjacking

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
6 years ago

That would be hilarious if sexbots started spouting ads. “Your session will resume in 15 seconds, after this Nissan video.”

@Chaos-Engineer

running Fedora Linux

Man, no wonder all my files have “friendzone” permissions.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
6 years ago

Awright, show of hands, those of you who sweet talk your sex toys.

I sweet talk everything I own. People who don’t anthropomorphise devices are weird.

Falconer
Falconer
6 years ago

That would be hilarious if sexbots started spouting ads. “Your session will resume in 15 seconds, after this Nissan video.”

I remember a few years ago, Apple patented a few designs to make you interact with your fucking ad for a few seconds before it would return you to your app. Like make you run a short maze with your finger before letting you go. I don’t think it ever got implemented.

Do you get where I’m going?

Falconer
Falconer
6 years ago

I sweet talk everything I own. People who don’t anthropomorphise devices are weird.

Well, yeah, I’m likely to tell my keys or my flash drive to “stay!” when I put them down somewhere, or go “really?” when my computer thinks for too long.

Guess I should have said “sessy talk your sex toys.”

davidgerard
6 years ago

>Man, no wonder all my files have “friendzone” permissions.

Sexbots! Be safe! Run AppArmor!

Moggie
Moggie
6 years ago

Did these guys learn nothing from Ghost in the Shell? If you network sexbots, they’ll be hacked! Who would want to entrust their boner to something which might be controlled by a Russian ransomware king? On the other hand, this would be good for Bitcoin.

Paradoxical Intention
6 years ago

Alan Robertshaw | August 6, 2015 at 11:29 am
SFHC, Paradoxy or anyone else who’s good at graphics…

Can you do us a SarkeesianCorp corporate logo?

Done.

http://i1307.photobucket.com/albums/s598/Paradoxys3DS/sarcorp_zpsktip6fwy.png

On the topic of the post: What is up with these guys and thinking that women don’t deserve anything in return for fucking their sorry asses?

Though, I suppose that’s a deeper question: Why do men think that women don’t want or should get anything out of bedroom interaction?

Paradoxical Intention
6 years ago

Eh, it’s not the best logo, but I wasn’t gonna put in hours of work into a gag. XD

Falconer
Falconer
6 years ago
Alan Robertshaw
6 years ago

@ Paradoxy

Ha, great! Funnily enough I’m currently engaged with some branding companies trying to get a logo for some new companies. It’s a nightmare.

“If you’re company was an animal, what animal would it be?”

“Er, an animal that organises military fitness stuff?”

Tessa
Tessa
6 years ago

Buttercup Q. Skullpants:

That would be hilarious if sexbots started spouting ads. “Your session will resume in 15 seconds, after this Nissan video.”

“This anal penetration is brought to you by Nissan. Nissan, Innovation that excites.”

Paradoxical Intention
6 years ago

Falconer | August 6, 2015 at 2:50 pm
aaaaAAAAAA THE HOOP EARRINGS AREN’T PERFECTLY CIRCULAR

Shhhhh, Falconer. *headpat* They’re dented from battle.

Alan Robertshaw | August 6, 2015 at 2:55 pm
@ Paradoxy

Ha, great! Funnily enough I’m currently engaged with some branding companies trying to get a logo for some new companies. It’s a nightmare.

“If you’re company was an animal, what animal would it be?”

“Er, an animal that organises military fitness stuff?”

Ideation can be fun, but it can also be really…weird.

It’s hard to strike a balance of making sure the consumer knows what you’re showing is, and making it something unique to your company.

(Though, for that company, I would reccomend using an animal that has been the mascot of your country’s military, to make it recognizable to the clientèle.)

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