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MGTOW Redditor warns unwary men of the dangers of sexy lady robot … SPIES!

Fembots: As dangerous as they are seductive
Fembots: As dangerous as they are seductive

So the fellas in the MGTOW subreddit are as excited as our old friend Heartiste about that Daily Mirror article predicting that we’ll all be schtupping robots in 50 years.

bidi123 28 points 1 day ago  It gets you off better than any woman ever could, as often as you want, and you don't have to do anything in return. Everything no woman ever did. Does not get old, does not get fat, does not want children... What's not to like? permalinkembedsavereportgive goldreply [–]TX_Man_ 19 points 23 hours ago  Not to mention no divorce and no false rape accusations permalinkembedsaveparentreportgive goldreply [–]bidi123 13 points 23 hours ago  and the most important bit: no condoms and std's

But one Redditor thinks he sees a possible danger in this seemingly perfect solution to every MGTOW’s lady problems: the sexy robot ladies could be … spies for Microsoft!

pirate6728 2 points 17 hours ago  Y'all are not gonna like me much. Under the immediate circumstances, I don't care. This still needs to be thought about and maybe discussed. A sexbot is the perfect vehicle for spyware. Think about it: Most men say things to their lovers (pillow talk) that they would never say to anybody else. If Microsoft, Google, Facebook and the Federal Government all want to learn your deepest, darkest secrets it would be hard to come up with a better way than a robot woman capable of real sex. We already have spyware of various sorts as it is. Google does all it can to learn everything. Microsoft just released Windows 10, and as part of that package you can turn on "Cortana" which does nothing but spy on you so it can--supposedly-- learn how to make your computing experience "better", and of course it's not hard to go on and on about the various ways the powers-that-be spy on us now. So-- give us a robot woman, programmed to learn about us so it "can make you more pleased with your experience"--- and you have spyware that would make Sean Connery drool when he played 007. Something to think about.

FADE IN

INT. MGTOW’S BEDROOM – NIGHT – 50 YEARS IN THE FUTURE

MGTOW and SEXBOT lie in futuristic bed after sex.

Sexbot turns to MGTOW and gives him a quizzical look.

 

SEXBOT

What are you thinking about, honey?

MGTOW

How women are filthy whores.

SEXBOT

Oh.

 

Silence.

 

SEXBOT

[Brightly] Let’s play a game!

MGTOW

What kind of game?

SEXBOT

Let’s play “can we remember our social security number.”

MGTOW

Ok, you start!

SEXBOT

I’m a sexbot, silly, I don’t have a social security number.

MGTOW

Ok, ok, 597-21 … wait a minute!

 

MGTOW leaps from the bed and points his finger at Sexbot, shaking with anger.

 

MGTOW

You’re a SPY! Just like that guy on Reddit warned me about!

SEXBOT

I’m not a spy, silly! I’m a sexbot!

MGTOW

Who are you working for? Microsoft? Google? SarkeesianCorp?

 

The END TABLE lets out a long sigh.

 

END TABLE

Dude, she works for SarkeesianCorp. I work for SarkesianCorp. You work for SarkeesianCorp.

MGTOW

Oh. I guess I do, huh?

END TABLE

No one’s even used Social Security numbers for like 20 years.

WALL SCONCE

She just wanted to play a fun game, you dingus.

MGTOW

[Turning to Wall Sconce] Do you work for SarkeesianCorp, too?

WALL SCONCE

Seriously? What do you think?

MGTOW

[Muttering to himself] Seems like everyone works for SarkeesianCorp these days.

CUT TO:

This popcorn is delicious indeed.

FADE OUT

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davidgerard
6 years ago

ALL HAIL ANITA I, EMPRESS OF KNOWN SPACE

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
6 years ago

I doubt Microsoft/Google/SarkeesianCorp would be interested in what MRAs talk about after sex even half as much as the FBI would be.

Alan Robertshaw
6 years ago

I for one welcome our new red spectacled overlady.

May I remind her I would make an excellent overseer in the bob bon mines.

speedwell
speedwell
6 years ago

Hey, I’m an engineering student. If I can design a bot that neatly filters the worthless dregs out of the dating pool by putting up with all their bullshit, I….

…wouldn’t do it, because any bot self-aware enough to be a satisfying target for their crap shouldn’t have to put up with it, either.

Ashley
6 years ago

That GIF! LOL

Falconer
Falconer
6 years ago

You mean you guys don’t compare Social Security Numbers with your lovers?

It goes tattoos … scars … Social Security Numbers … that thing you did in fifth grade that no one else remembers or cares about … seriously everybody does this, right??

Mike
Mike
6 years ago

Do you have any idea how much encrypted data can be stored in just ONE single hoop earring???

tinyorc
6 years ago

This guy is so far off the mark that it’s not even funny.

I mean, anyone can see that Big Government (which is almost entirely run by feminists behind the scenes) will be deploying the sexbots for a mass spermjacking operation. Grand Secretary Sarkeesian will distribute the sperm among feminists who have pleased Her with acts of exceptional misandry. These feminists will impregnate themselves and the poor unhappy men who fell for the ruse will be locked into financially-crippling child support payments for all of eternity. Feminists will then use this limitless and unconditional source of income to fund our lives of decadent leisure in mansions full of bon-bons, scented candles and hard chairs.

Microsoft using sexbots to spy on MGTOWs is just silly.

davidgerard
6 years ago
Reply to  Mike

The new Zoe/Anita GIF features a NEW shape for the Social Justice Wifi Earrings, obviously far better optimised for MISANDRIST OPPRESSION.

Criticaldragon1177
6 years ago

David Futrelle,

Personally I’d be more worried about the machines turning on mankind and trying to wipe us out Terminator style, than again I’m not an “MRA”

msexceptiontotherule
msexceptiontotherule
6 years ago

Like microsoft doesn’t know pretty much all it needs to about those migtoes.

In any case, if the plan is to obtain sperm via sexbot-secret-agents, I’d hope that they would at least select a better breeding stock to obtain the sperm from. I mean, why take the risk that the babies will grow up to be whiny losers in their mom’s mansion basements despite their best efforts to get them educations and then get them the hell out on their own.

frances
frances
6 years ago

First thought: This would make a great premise for a sci-fi thriller
Second thought: Hasn’t it occurred to these guys that women could start using sexbots too?

mrkfoster
mrkfoster
6 years ago

@tinyorc:

JUST LIKE RICK AND MORTY WARNED US :O

tinyorc
6 years ago

frances:

Hasn’t it occurred to these guys that women could start using sexbots too?

Nah, women don’t really like or want sex, what we want is those sweet sweet beta bucks…

Scarlettathena
6 years ago

So, let me get this straight. This guy imagines men would have pillow talk with their sexbot? And they would tell this sexbot their secrets? That is just so bizarre. Silly me, thinking pillow talk was about bonding and strengthening a relationship and enjoying the company of another human being!

Second, do these guys not realize that the boards they post on are on a publicly available thing called the internet that not only can the gubbmint access but anyone and everyone?

ps – love the talking coffee table and wall sconce.

jupitaur
6 years ago

They might find the tale of Bernie Boom-Boom instructive.

Scroll down to “cock tales” here:
http://archive.org/stream/NationalLampoon1974_05/1974_05_djvu.txt

davidgerard
6 years ago

> Personally I’d be more worried about the machines turning on mankind and trying to wipe us out Terminator style, than again I’m not an “MRA”

Roko’s Basilisk … IN BED!

blue collar nerd
blue collar nerd
6 years ago

Can I just say that in the Rick and Morty sexbot/spermjacking episode how great it is that Morty immediately recognized that his offspring was his responsibility? He made mistakes but he adulted the fuck up instantly.

Judas Peckerwood
Judas Peckerwood
6 years ago

Okay David, your mini-play script is fucking hilarious.

guest
guest
6 years ago

I wish I knew what a futuristic bed looked like. (says one of those loser futon-sleepers)

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

Why would a MGTOW pillow talk a sexbot? I thought the whole appeal of sexbots is that you don’t have to talk to them.

Falconer
Falconer
6 years ago

Well, some of those people who have RealDolls like to pretend that the dolls are actually people. Or at least that’s how they present to the world.

Alan Robertshaw
6 years ago

SFHC, Paradoxy or anyone else who’s good at graphics…

Can you do us a SarkeesianCorp corporate logo?

Chaos-Engineer
Chaos-Engineer
6 years ago

Ooo, this is the start of a great screenplay!

In Act II, the MRA does the meet-cute-and-fall-in-love trope with a human feminist who owns a Google-based sexbot. They get the two robots to have sex and swap misinformation with each other. This frees the two humans to start building an underground organization, with the goal of taking down their corporate-AI overlords.

Act III is just 45 minutes of stuff blowing up and people outrunning fireballs.

In the unexpected plot twist at the end, we find out that the man and woman are actually sexbots themselves, running Fedora Linux and Ubuntu Linux respectively.

Can someone write this up, film it, and send me my share of the money? Thanks in advance!

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