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block that metaphor cupcake evil sexy ladies MGTOW misogyny MRA no girls allowed vaginas

The Parable of the Cupcakes and the Male Spaces

When did vagina cupcakes become a thing?
When did vagina cupcakes become a thing?

Welcome, my brethren, to the Church of Jesus Christ Going His Own Way From Icky Girls. Today’s sermon is a reflection on the Parable of Cupcakes Invading Male Spaces Because Vagina.

Please turn to MGTOW 2:8109 and read along with me.

Cupcakes are busybodies who feel entitled to invade male spaces just because vagina while demanding to have female only spaces.
For truly, they are like baked goods, with vaginas.
[M]en act differently when cupcakes are around and cupcakes don’t understand why sometimes men want to just be with other men … . 
Verily, we are blinded by the light of their vaginae, and seek a refuge in which we can free ourselves from the foul temptation to behave decently for two minutes in the hope that one of these cupcakes will shine the light of her vagina upon us.
[B]lue pill men refuse to believe anything about cupcakes’ nature unless they experience it first hand, or … discover their special cupcake’s previous proclivities … .
For all men completely freak out at the notion of a woman having had sex with other people before them, right?
However, the men might have fun and cupcakes don’t like it when men have fun without them since cupcakes believe the world revolves around them and their almighty vagina.
And that is not the case even though we MGTOWs spend every waking moment obsessing about these filthy sexy vagina-having cupcakes.
If their vaginae aren’t needed for men to have fun, they lose their power and nothing upsets cupcakes more.
Hell hath no fury like a cupcake whose vagina is scorned. We’re pretty sure. I mean, these sexy bad evil vagina cupcakes are all mad that we don’t want to hang out with them, right?
Cupcakes are far more interested in controlling as many men as they can in all circumstances and male only spaces makes it harder for them to do so which is why they invade.
Get thee behind me, cupcake! 

NOTE: Well, a question, anyway. When exactly did vagina cupcakes — I mean the real, baked kind — become a thing? I mean, if you do an image search for “vagina cupcakes” there are gazoodles of pictures of them.

 

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Paradoxical Intention
7 years ago

@Sparky: I love how some of those penii are uncircumcised. XD

weirwoodtreehugger
7 years ago

Uhh…

Some genes don’t get passed down because some people die before they can reproduce or their descendents do. Or they have daughters only, therefore no Y chromosome DNA passed on, which I’m guessing is what that comment is referring to.

Also, it’s not like all materlineal lines have made it either.

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
7 years ago

Banana Jackie cake
That’s incredibly unfair, plus he said that they are still trying to pay off their medical bills.

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
7 years ago

@weirwoodtreehugger

I wonder if they (the researchers) didn’t track the X chromosome men pass on or was the study only Y chromosomes? And if the study account for males and females that have XX and XY respectively? The numbers can be heavily skewed in many ways.

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
7 years ago

@fruitloopsie

Oh. Well, I guess I won’t be donating to them again. :/

epitome of incomprehensibility

Re donating hair: the second time was for a cancer fundraiser I forget the name of, and the first was for Angel Hair for Kids, which doesn’t sell wigs but donates them, plus gives the children a free hair care kit… unfortunately it’s only in Canada:

“Angel Hair for Kids™ is a program of A Child’s Voice Foundation™ that provides wigs and hair loss solutions to financially disadvantaged children in Canada who have lost their hair due to a medical condition or treatment.”

Anyway, I checked out the Pantene site and their program looks cool. The only part that makes me roll my eyes is where they suggest potential donors should use lots of hair care products (preferably theirs, I’m guessing). Honestly, the neighbour who used to cut my hair told me not to use conditioner. She said just shampoo was best, because conditioner would leave a residue. (Of course, it depends on hair type; I’m white with straight, somewhat oily hair.)

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
7 years ago

@epitome

It’s probably because of that oily hair. Conditioner is for hair that is dry. Whether or not it leaves residue depends on the conditioner you use.

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
7 years ago

Well, no, all condition leaves some residue, but that’s to keep hair soft and moisturize. Residue depends on type of conditioner.

epitome of incomprehensibility

Augh, I sound so ignorant. That makes perfect sense!

I am also laughing at everything cupcake-related. I wonder what Marcel Duchamp would think of the cupcakes in the urinal?

mythago
7 years ago

Oh, don’t worry. We cupcakes know EXACTLY why sometimes men just want to be with other men.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_of_Finland

Paradoxical Intention
7 years ago

If anyone wants a quick hair care recommendation: I tried this stuff called Wen by a famous hair stylist, and it’s pretty amazing.

It smells like mint and oatmeal, and my hair was way softer and wasn’t as frizzy once I used it.

The only downside is that it’s hella expensive. : / I only got to try it because my aunt bought a bottle at a mall kiosk to try out.

odaran
odaran
7 years ago

So what if 40% of men have passed down their genes? Do we have to be pronatalists in a world with 7 billion people? Is that all there is to life, reproduction?
Can’t they just go their own way already?

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
7 years ago

@epitone

I think “ignorant” is too strong a word to describe not knowing about hair care. I just happen to know a lot about hair because I have a LOT of hair. Super thick. And it has needs.

However, if you’re not talking about that, um, ignore this post.

@Paradoxical

I used that once. It was amaaazing~! My hair was soooo soft. *3* But if anyone wants something rather cheap, I’d suggest Burt Bee’s shampoo. It happens to make my hair (three days until it somewhat oily) super soft and smells awesome. Doesn’t dry out the hair, doesn’t leave a lot of waxy-crap. Pert two in one works alright too.

zoon echon logon
zoon echon logon
7 years ago

Cupcakes are busybodies who feel entitled to invade male spaces just because vagina while demanding to have female only spaces.</blockquote

It's super hypocritical for women to invade male spaces like sports and fiction and outside, but demand their own spaces like cooking or knitting or frilly pink stuff that I assume they like. I mean, women get all mad when guys get involved in their hobbies, right?

zoon echon logon
zoon echon logon
7 years ago

Well played, blockquote mammoth. I have avoided you for a long time, but I see you are patient foe.

Catalpa
Catalpa
7 years ago

These guys don’t seem to grasp what the concept of a “safe space” is.

For example, some women can set up a women-only blog, password protect it or something, and discuss women-only things. They can’t unilaterally declare that ALL blogs are now woman-only spaces and that all men need to GTFO or be subjected to an unending torrent of abuse.

In the same vein, some men can set up a men-only video game server, password protect it, and do all the manly dude things they want in it. They can’t unilaterally declare that ALL video games are now man-only spaces and that all women need to GTFO or be subjected to an unending torrent of abuse.

Well, I suppose in the latter they can, and they do. But they SHOULDN’T.

marinerachel
marinerachel
7 years ago

Those jellybeans as clitorides are all wrong. Some of them are placed so poorly that they look more like the vaginal orifice. It should be at the front junction of the labia minora, not between them. Those cupcakes don’t even have outer labia.

This is just fucking silly.

proxieme
proxieme
7 years ago

BQS – +1 for ominously interrupted sentence.

proxieme
proxieme
7 years ago

Re: 40% of males passing down their genes: There was apparently a recent study which indicated that thousands of years ago (around the time of the advent/spread of agriculture and the consolidation of populations under more heirarchal social systems) only around 40% of men passed down their DNA most likely because of mate hoarding by men in leadership at the expense of the ability of the remaining men being able to pair off (because math).

No, wait, that was OBVIOUSLY due to MISANDRY and DAMN, CUCKOLDING WOMEN.

THESE GUYS!
Where’s the fucking reading comprehension!?!
It’s like ALLLLLLLLLL of the assholes who only read headlines or article ledes and then spit out teal deers in comments sections have congregated in one effing movement .

proxieme
proxieme
7 years ago

Sauce: http://arstechnica.com/science/2015/03/neolithic-culture-may-have-kept-most-men-from-mating/

Y’know, though, this says for every 17 women who passed along their genes, only one male did…so maybe they’re citing some other assfax.

proxieme
proxieme
7 years ago

Perhaps not surprisingly, when I Google “only 40 of males reproduce” (not in quotes in my search, in quotes here to separate it out) the most credible hit was Psychology Today talking about monogamy vs polygamy – the rest were comments sections.

Long story short: The 1:17 ratio apparently happened about 8k years ago. Averaged out historically, the ratio’s about 2:3 largely because of polygamy, wars, and rape-as-warfare.
Or, if you’re an MRA, because social structures have always been identical to the US in the 1950s, those DAMN CUCKOLDING WOMEN.

So we’re back to poor reading confirmation theater not playing well with a rampant tendency to give confirmation biases big ol’ hugs.

proxieme
proxieme
7 years ago

Reading comprehension*

Cue prox stopping pecking at her phone and getting coffee.

Melyanna
7 years ago

Why did I click on the last link? Some of those photos are… the horror!

Flying Mouse
Flying Mouse
7 years ago

Welcome, RoscoeTCat! If you have not already done so, please proceed to the sidebar and collect your welcome package. You will be taken there after you click the scented fucking candle.

Long story short: The 1:17 ratio apparently happened about 8k years ago. Averaged out historically, the ratio’s about 2:3 largely because of polygamy, wars, and rape-as-warfare.

Or, if you’re an MRA, because social structures have always been identical to the US in the 1950s, those DAMN CUCKOLDING WOMEN.

Of course it is! Women of course chose to “join” harems, or to be spoils of war (if they were honorable, they would have taken the other option, which was ignoble death. Duh).

I know that I personally yearn for those days of yore. Why only this morning I was mourning the fact that “collected by a warlord” isn’t a viable career path for a Western woman these days.

*FM spits viciously*

These guys. They can take terrible examples of violence, terror, and dehumanization (all of which STILL OCCUR in other parts of the world) and somehow make it all about how awful women won’t give them their due.

Fibinachi
7 years ago

Its remembering and misunderstanding an old claim in a speech by a researcher I forgot (possibly Roy Baumeinster)

The claim is multiple women can be impregnated by one man so most men historically haven’t reproduced. There’s nothing in that claim about cuckolding, but trust mra’s to make odd research claims even worse :b

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