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block that metaphor cupcake evil sexy ladies MGTOW misogyny MRA no girls allowed vaginas

The Parable of the Cupcakes and the Male Spaces

When did vagina cupcakes become a thing?
When did vagina cupcakes become a thing?

Welcome, my brethren, to the Church of Jesus Christ Going His Own Way From Icky Girls. Today’s sermon is a reflection on the Parable of Cupcakes Invading Male Spaces Because Vagina.

Please turn to MGTOW 2:8109 and read along with me.

Cupcakes are busybodies who feel entitled to invade male spaces just because vagina while demanding to have female only spaces.
For truly, they are like baked goods, with vaginas.
[M]en act differently when cupcakes are around and cupcakes don’t understand why sometimes men want to just be with other men … . 
Verily, we are blinded by the light of their vaginae, and seek a refuge in which we can free ourselves from the foul temptation to behave decently for two minutes in the hope that one of these cupcakes will shine the light of her vagina upon us.
[B]lue pill men refuse to believe anything about cupcakes’ nature unless they experience it first hand, or … discover their special cupcake’s previous proclivities … .
For all men completely freak out at the notion of a woman having had sex with other people before them, right?
However, the men might have fun and cupcakes don’t like it when men have fun without them since cupcakes believe the world revolves around them and their almighty vagina.
And that is not the case even though we MGTOWs spend every waking moment obsessing about these filthy sexy vagina-having cupcakes.
If their vaginae aren’t needed for men to have fun, they lose their power and nothing upsets cupcakes more.
Hell hath no fury like a cupcake whose vagina is scorned. We’re pretty sure. I mean, these sexy bad evil vagina cupcakes are all mad that we don’t want to hang out with them, right?
Cupcakes are far more interested in controlling as many men as they can in all circumstances and male only spaces makes it harder for them to do so which is why they invade.
Get thee behind me, cupcake! 

NOTE: Well, a question, anyway. When exactly did vagina cupcakes — I mean the real, baked kind — become a thing? I mean, if you do an image search for “vagina cupcakes” there are gazoodles of pictures of them.

 

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Li
Li
7 years ago

I really have to question why so many of those edible type cupcakes appear to have been… Used.

Rabukurafuto
Rabukurafuto
7 years ago

A friend of mine took photos of vagina cupcakes more than a decade ago, so they’ve been around for a while.

Anyway, whenever I eat a cupcake now, I give a little salute to feminism and a little “fuck you” to MRAs.

weirwoodtreehugger
7 years ago

I wonder what he means by male spaces? If he’s talking about a possessive girlfriend insisting she be allowed to tag along on guy’s night out. Then, sure.

Something tells me he’s talking about hobbies or careers that were never actually for men only. Sci fi, gaming, computers, atheism etc.

ikanreed
ikanreed
7 years ago

Of course, “male safe spaces” means “entire segments of society and culture” to these clowns, rather than small contained spaces and situations designed for dealing with gendered concerns.

Go join an Elk club if you want an all male club, and maybe don’t try to commit illegal and/or hostile acts to get women out of sports/games/politics/whatever dumbshit thing you think is a “safe space”.

Kootiepatra
Kootiepatra
7 years ago

cupcakes don’t understand why sometimes men want to just be with other men…

Well, baked goods aren’t known for their cognitive ability.

But *women*–yes, *women* do understand why sometimes men want to just be with other men. That’s fine.

We just take issue when they try to declare major public spaces as male-only zones; that’s all.

Kootiepatra
Kootiepatra
7 years ago

And I see I got ninja’d by weirwoodtreehugger 🙂

Spaceman
Spaceman
7 years ago

If they don’t want any cupcakes, I will be happy to take them off their hands. Chocolate only. Because well vanilla is just plain boring.

I will be happy to drop off a nice big carrot platter for them to munch on in exchange.

Not sure how vaginas factor into this, but I’ll be happy to share my new batch of cupcakes with anyone.

😛

Sarity
Sarity
7 years ago

“If their vaginae aren’t needed for men to have fun, they lose their power and nothing upsets cupcakes more.”

What? No! I beg you, nothing would make cupcakes happier than if more men realized they don’t need vaginae to have fun. Men learning to live happily without making vaginae the center of their world could make for a wonderful decline in rape, assault, catcalling, stalking, and all such sexually aggressive behavior. That would be a GIFT, sir.

Thalia
Thalia
7 years ago

He gets points of some kind for using “vaginae” I guess — I don’t know whether that’s really the correct plural, but it sounds pretty awesome!

I also am curious about which spaces are meant to be male-only and free of the vaginidae and their insidious clitoric jellybeans. Absolutely there should be no cupcakes in, for example, the men’s side of a Korean-style spa, or at your prostate-cancer-survivor support group (unless you’re the kind of freak who appreciates having your female friends and relatives offering love and support), or breaking into your house when you have the guys over.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
7 years ago

What is it with these guys constantly coming up with different metaphors for women? They’re cupcakes! They’re plates! They’re spoiled milk! They’re gorillas!

It’s like women are some kind of elaborate 26-dimensional bosonic string that they can only grasp when explained to them in terms of inanimate objects. Inanimate objects with cute outer appearances, but weirdly sinister intentions.

Speaking of which, here comes a whole flock of adorable little cupcakes. I wonder what they wan

Spaceman
Spaceman
7 years ago

“What is it with these guys constantly coming up with different metaphors for women? They’re cupcakes! They’re plates! They’re spoiled milk! They’re gorillas!”

Because if they call women by anything that resembles a normal human being, they may be forced to realize that they are dealing with a normal human being. Not the gross caricature of a straw [wo]man they have built in their minds.

Robert
Robert
7 years ago

When I joined the lodge, the Worshipful Master made an observation that has stuck in my memory. Apparently, some brothers’ wives were occasionally curious about what their husbands were doing during Masonic ceremonies, and mildly chagrined that they could not participate. Now my husband could have joined, but had no interest in doing so. He found this surprising.

Also, the persistent identification of women in the OP as some mash-up of pastry and reproductive organs is frankly disturbing. Is thinking of women as human beings that difficult for them?

Paradoxical Intention
7 years ago

Kootiepatra | April 21, 2015 at 3:42 pm

cupcakes don’t understand why sometimes men want to just be with other men…

Well, baked goods aren’t known for their cognitive ability.

But *women*–yes, *women* do understand why sometimes men want to just be with other men. That’s fine.

We just take issue when they try to declare major public spaces as male-only zones; that’s all.

QFT.

You can’t declare all of France to be your secret [insert identifier here] club, and then wonder why some of the French are so upset about it.

Spaceman | April 21, 2015 at 4:14 pm
Because if they call women by anything that resembles a normal human being, they may be forced to realize that they are dealing with a normal human being. Not the gross caricature of a straw [wo]man they have built in their minds.

So many truth bombs being dropped today. I bask in their glory.

http://media.giphy.com/media/11lTsuHVXoQBlm/giphy.gif

Shalimar
Shalimar
7 years ago

If he can get away with vaginae, maybe I should try again with getting penii accepted as the proper plural form of penis.

NicolaLuna
NicolaLuna
7 years ago

On Saturday I baked cupcakes with my sons because MISANDY!!!!1!! 1! We baked banana ones and strawberry ones and they were yummy.

Also, if I think cupcakes are tasty, is that cannibalism?

Sarity
Sarity
7 years ago

Any acknowledgement of women as human beings is just political correctness gone mad.

Miss Anne Dairy
Miss Anne Dairy
7 years ago

@ Nicola Luna: I think that’s probably cake-ilingus

Bill
Bill
7 years ago

I am so sick and tired of random misogynists and reactionaries trying to create “male safe place” fiefdoms in mediums like comics, video games and science fiction. This people care absolutely nothing about the medium, but they seem to think that they have the right to pop in and tell others what they are allowed to read and watch. Honestly, go away and stop throwing temper tantrums whenever a medium has characters that aren’t white, straight and male.

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
7 years ago

@NicolaLuna

Mmm, banana cupcakes. <3

Paradoxical Intention
7 years ago

Are banana cupcakes misandry because you’re chopping/mashing something phallic?

reymohammed
reymohammed
7 years ago

On certain Greek isles, they have holidays where they not only observe sex rolls, but eat them. My spelling is fine.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
7 years ago

To be ridiculously pendantic, I think those are vulva cupcakes, actually. Unless they have an interior or tubelike structure. In which case: bravo, baker, bravo.

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
7 years ago

@Tulgey Logger

With strawberry filling.

me and not you
me and not you
7 years ago

I remember buying vagina/vulva lollypops at the vagina monologues. I imagine cupcakes are an extension of that.

Also: Tulgey – you could make creme filled cupcakes. Or, like… eclairs (?) with a vulva on the end.

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