Here’s an open thread for personal stuff, continued from here. You know the drill: No trolls, no MRAs/PUAs/MGTOWs etc, be nice. Email the mods/me if shit gets weird.
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We Hunted The MammothWe Hunted The Mammoth
Hi all, I haven’t been around here much lately – really really busy with my two jobs – but I needed to vent about something that happened today, and this seemed like the best place to do it. This morning, at one of the large libraries I work at (my newer job – only been there a couple of months half-time), one of the janitors, who is even newer than I am, yelled at me across the room: “Excuse me? Are you married? Do you have kids?” I said no and “why?” She said “just asking.” So I get asked these questions often enough, but usually as part of a conversation that is already happening, and because of some things in my past, I find both questions quite painful sometimes. I don’t think she would have yelled those questions across the room to a man she didn’t know. Anyway, I guess I should just shrug it off, but it bothered me all day long.
@Paradoxical That judge is just, wow. So, the little girl wandered into his garage so the judge thinks that the rape of a 3 year old is totes fine. Gee, We haven’t heard that reasoning before. Signed the petition.
@Robert I hope everything goes well with your whole family.
@grumpycatisagirl I understand what your saying. That is not a question one usually asks an acquaintance or most people in general. I never understood why people need to know that information.
Glad to see some people are doing well. For those who are having a hard time, here is a barrel of soft cuddly things and kittehs.
For anyone who needs some cute baby animals, here are some baby skunks:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=i45gF2DnanQ
@Paradoxical
I have no clue if foreign signees count, but I signed it. Didn’t give a reason because goddamnit it should be obvious.
I have nothing to vent about, but I wanted to give anyone here who needs it a big
(((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))))))))
Because I give good hug.
That is great hug! Thank you!
I’m moving in with my dad in June when my lease us up. It’ll be good to save up money for a few months. A task that just got easier because I just got moved to fall time with the potential for overtime. I’m hoping to get an apartment in October or November before the snow comes and makes moving too difficult.
The shitty thing is that my dad already has a cat and a dog and there’s only room to take one cat. So Darrow is going to have to live with my brother. He’ll be good to him and they really like each other, but I’m really going to miss the beast. I’ve had him since 2007. I also feel like a big loser living with a parent at my age. I probably could swing a place on my own right away, but after a rough year, I just want the pressure to be a off for a bit. Plus my dad wants a roommate. He says it’s for financial reasons, but I think he doesn’t like living alone. As some of you may recall, his fiancee died last month.
This will actually be my first time ever living with a dog. If anyone has good tips for introducing a cat into a home with a dog, I’d appreciate it. I have no idea if Dracarys has been around them before. I adopted her at age two and she was a stray so her background is unknown. Bailey is a very nice dog and she’s always lived with cats so it should be fine. I feel bad for Dracarys though. She’s easily freaked out and I think the adjustment period could be a bit rough for her.
I find that the easiest way to do it is to let it happen gradually and keep an eye on them. She’ll get used to it…eventually. She’ll be pretty freaked out for a while, but I think it also depends on the dog somewhat.
If they’re super excitable and are really too eager to play, it’ll freak her out worse than a dog who is calm and patient.
I think Bailey is sort of in the middle. She gets really excited when anyone or any other dog comes over, but she does settle down. My dad’s cat is a nervous type too and she gets along with Bailey fine. Then again, she lived with dogs her whole life and Dracarys hasn’t. It does seem like cats usually get along better with dogs than they do with other cats. I’m just being neurotic. It’ll probably be fine after a few days.
This amuses me:
https://twitter.com/dystopianya
Keep Dracarys in a separate room from the dog for several days, and then when she’s adjusted to being in a new place, begin introducing her to the dog in short, controlled sessions (beginning by just letting them sniff each other with the door cracked is good). Gradually let them spend more time together. If Dracarys does not begin to get used to the dog, start over and do it slower.
And nobody is a loser because of what their living situation happens to be.
Zolnier, as it does me. Could we be the same Category?
Sorry for missing that post dhag, and not replying to anyone for a coupla days. I was pretty manic then, and crashed about an hour afterwards.
Psioriatic arthritis ? Ow!. That sounds worse than my mother’s rheumatoid arthritis, and without my height changing she’s gone from just taller than me to a foot shorter 🙁
A cat being careful around dogs is not bad. My parents last cat was a feral one taken in young to a house of mixed cats and dogs before we adopted him. As the biggest of the cats he always considered himself a dog. After we’d had him a few years he appeared at 2am one morning with facial mauling and lacking all his front teeth. Vet’s best bet is he went to sniff at an unknown dog that bit his face.
On the other hand, I’ve known cats that bullied very big dogs into abject retreat 🙂
(Kali (Named by me after Kalimac which was Tolkien’s Hobbit language name for Merry) was fine after he healed, except his tongue always stuck out cos he couldn’t roll it against his front teeth)
And…my last comment got missed out cos I used pointy brackets. I said that he earned the shorter version of his name by slaughtering mice and voles.
@Robert
But-but, what will the Leader think of this?
My personal favourite YA dystopia is This Time of Darkness, because hipsterism.
This thread is about a week old, so idk if anyone will really be checking it but I had to vent somewhere and didn’t wanna throw another thread OT.
Was recently at my bf’s mom’s house for a bbq and somehow (maybe from something on tv) the subject of transgender came up. Bf and his mom immediately did an “Ew” and decided to explain why they were so offended by trans and gay people. I just braced myself for the stoopid and wave of nausea. They didn’t disappoint.
Mom couldn’t really articulate her reasons, but said it made her feel uneasy and it just “wasn’t right”. Bf chimed in that, in fact, trans people are “mentally ill”. Oh. M. G. They made a point of saying that “gays” are not AS bad, even though it’s still “wrong”.
Ugh. I tried my best to not throw a hissy fit or let my outrage become too obvious. These are people I love and I am horrible at confrontations anyways (my mind tends to go blank). SO I corrected them on the mental illness thing- I believe this WAS what doctors thought a long time ago, but not anymore. I said trans people were born into the wrong gender or body and they are simply doing what works best for them. And that gay people (and trans) don’t choose their “lifestyle” and most of the time have to pay a high price for coming out. I reminded them that people are harassed and killed for being known as gay or trans all the time.
They didn’t really change their view (and I didn’t expect them to) but changed the subject since they could see I didn’t agree with them and didn’t wanna hear it. I guess I just wanted a safe place to tell someone who would understand my disgust and you guys seem so knowledgeable about stuff like this. Thanks for listening!
Yay, I got my apartment back to myself! At least until May anyway – but it’s nice to get a full night’s rest in my bed again. Sleeping on the couch was becoming unbearable.
On the other hand: a guy I knew for almost ten years through a mutual online friend, even talked to him on the phone occasionally, has pretty much went off the deep end recently (becoming more obsessive and incomprehensible with each argument we had). We are no longer friends. For whatever weird reason – he decided to get personal over…comicbooks. It wasn’t even the worst argument he got in, and he thought it wasn’t inappropriate to bring up private details in a place others could see.
It was specifically Frank Cho’s recent sketch cover of Gwen Stacy as Spider-Gwen (great superhero costume, BTW) doing the same pose as the unpublished Milo Manara cover for Spider-Woman. I was told it was “funny” – but it’s just a reference. I get that humor is often subjective but, for fuck’s sake, there’s some kind of standard. There’s a reason people point out the misuse of satire because, well, words have meanings and good humor comes with more context than “remember this thing?!”
The problem? The character is suppose to be 16 (though apparently she’s in college). That, along with the fact they made her have children with Norman Osborne in a really creepy retcon or The Jackal’s obsession with her despite being underage, is just another one of the several gross things done to the character.
Anyway, my former friend starts telling me that I’m a hypocrite about talking about the objectification of an underage female character. Why? Because…I occasionally mention actresses I find attractive and showed pictures of them I liked. Not sure how flesh-and-blood women who, of their own volition, decided to take part in a photoshoot is the same as a fictional hand-drawn character in the hands of a creator that can do all sorts of exploitative and degrading shit. It’s funny given, in other discussions, I’ve been accused of being “anti-sex.” Apparently you can’t ever win with these people – it’s all-or-nothing mentality, coupled with moving goalposts.
It’s made me reevaluate how I communicate online with others and what I post, because it feels unnerving to have people looking through posts made ages ago. All just to use as ammunition in an online argument (’cause that’s apparently reasonable). If someone is so willing to bring up personal details like that, out of nowhere and over such a petty thing, then I can’t help but feel more distrusting than I already am of others.
Wow! Apparently Cernovich feels like sort of victim?
https://twitter.com/PlayDangerously/status/587546536357269504
This guy is arguably one of the biggest douchebags I have ever heard of. I feel ZERO sympathy for him whatsoever. Apparently it’s ok for him to make racist and homophobic tweets online though, right? I’m starting to question if my 3 year old nephew is more mature than him!
@Rabukurafuto (and anyone else who’s interested) – I stopped by one of the local used book stores on a whim today and took a look at their SFF stock. And lo and behold, a Vox Day/Bruce Bethke novel AND Theodore Beale’s The War in Heaven (I think you said you’d read that one already, Rabukurafuto?) were there. The author portrait at the back of The War in Heaven is worth the price of admission all by itself. So dark and brooding.
I also found out today that a good way to make a personable, chatty young bookstore clerk turn quite and standoffish is to put two Vox Day books on her cash wrap. Should have worn a disguise when I bought those. 😛
I’m still going to town tomorrow, so I’ll try the enormous bookstore then and see if my lucky streak holds. Everyone wish me luck! Or not, since I *am* acquiring Vox Day novels…
quite = quiet. And I broke the Rebel Moon link.
I need to hire a proofreader.
Ah! Yes, I do have a pirated file of The War in Heaven. I haven’t heard of Rebel Moon before, but looking at a review it is a stunningly awful work even to fans of this Bruce Bethke. I was expecting copies of The War in Heaven to be floating around. I think it’s the first in a series so other books might be at the larger store.
I hope the bigger store has something interesting too. At least something to wash away memories of Beale.
The bigger bookstore was awesome (I’d never been before), but sadly/gladly lacking in more Beale/Day. I found another couple of copies of The War in Heaven and Rebel Moon but that was it. I did notice that there was a fair amount of much more popular contemporary Christian Sci-Fi/Fantasy written by mostly by women, though. That must chap a certain someone’s hide.
I did find copies of the first two Harry Potter novels, though, as well as Howl’s Moving Castle and Redwall. Once upon a time I had all of those except for Howl, but they went AWOL at some point and I’ve been meaning to replace them for a while. My daughter is also getting to the age where I think she might enjoy some more challenging reads, so I’m excited to give her some good stuff. I used to love the Redwall novels especially; I’m hoping she’ll take a shine to them, too.
Anyway, if you want either of the Beale/Day books I’ve got, Rabukurafuto, let me know and we’ll hammer out a way to exchange addresses. If you don’t want them, no worry, I’ll put them to good use (Origami? Collage? Compost? The possibilities are endless).
That’s…well, it’s what I was expecting. Beale’s books simply aren’t printed in large quantities; I wouldn’t be surprised if his latest books are solely released as ebooks. His Castalia House publishing is too minor. From the sound of it, if those Christian SF/F by women are conservative enough then Beale wouldn’t mind, unfortunately.
Quite a good selection there, and even if your daughter doesn’t take to them you can always revisit those titles yourself. I can harder remember the earlier Harry Potter books myself now.
It’s tempting. I don’t have The War in Heaven with a glowering Beale on the back. Both books look like they don’t require much effort to find though. How much would you like for them?
Recently I saw an article from Fangs For the Fantasy that was of the opinion that people shouldn’t even mock books by bigots like Beale or Scott Orson Card because doing so ignores the biggest issue: that they are bigots at all. How good or bad their works are is unimportant compared to that, and thus no attention at all should be given to them. I’m torn over this now because when I experience fiction by horrible people I really do want to read them for insight (and hopefully find something to laugh at). Fangs For the Fantasy makes a good point though, that to pay for books by bigots is like saying your entertainment is more important than the lives of those being discriminated against by said bigots. What does everyone else think of this?
That argument sounds like the flip side of “don’t conflate the artist with his art.” I’ve always had a problem with that statement, since so much of someone’s art is personal. How can you separate a filmmaker from their movies, or a writer from their books? Both are vehicles for a creator’s POV and ideas. Not to mention that if you pay money to consume their media, you’re financially supporting them.
So I can see Fangs For the Fantasy’s point that mockery and criticism gives Asshole Writers like Vox Day an extra signal boost. But I don’t agree that that’s always a bad thing. David gets a fair amount of drive-by commenters who like to scold him for paying attention to bitter losers and angry basement-dwellers. “Just ignore them!” Ignoring something awful can be taken as tacit approval, though, or at least indifference. That environment can just let terrible ideas flourish as easily as it can smother. The best disinfectant is sunlight.
Also, like you mentioned above, if you’re not reading someone’s work, you’re not learning anything about the author or their ideas. The dudes David covers here have reasons for what they believe; it’s easier if you can dismiss them as stupid fringe jerkwads, but they usually have some kind of eff-ed up worldview behind their rage and froth. If you’re focusing on the ideas within their work, and intelligently criticizing those ideas and/or refuting them as you move along, I think reading and commenting on Asshole Writers is a worthy thing.
I don’t know how you get past the part where you’re giving those writers a financial windfall, though, since you usually have to pay to get their works. :/
Anyway, my $0.02.