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Women who text men on their birthdays are "wicked mindf*ckers who get off stringing betas along," says PUA doucheburger

Apparently you can write whatever you want on these fake text message generators
Apparently you can write whatever you want on these fake text message generators

Men, beware! The woman who just texted you “happy birthday” isn’t a nice person wishing you a “happy birthday.” She is, rather, a demoness from hell. Or at the very least a creepy “attention whore tease” who won’t let you into her pants.

According to racist shitbag “game” blogger Heartiste, any woman who texts men on special occasions “is a cocktease in digital form” trying to make sure you remain one of her “beta orbiter … cuckubines,” which is his fancy way of saying “friend.”

As he sees it, these dastardly Special Occasion Texters (SOTs) have only bad reasons to text dudes on special days. The SOT may be doing some routine “Beta Orbiter Maintainance.”

She texts birthday messages to all the beta male orbiters she has accumulated over the years, and she does this as part of a maintenance program to keep her orbiters from spinning too far out of her orbit (or, conversely, too close to her planet). … She needs those suck-ups sucking up to her emotional needs, and sometimes that requires sending a tiny sliver of romantic hope — say, a birthday text — to her cuckubines.

If she’s feeling insecure, she might be trying to reassure herself that she has a few interested men “in the wings.”

Or she might be “a wicked mindfucker who gets off stringing men betas along.”

These all kind of seem like the same reason to me, but what the heck.

In any case, Heartiste strongly urges his followers not to “chomp on her bland beta boob bait.”

Amazing alliteration, asshole!

Happily, Heartiste notes, you can totally get her back for this terrible act of hers, and possibly even lure her into your bedroom by … waiting a day before texting her back. And then being a bit of a dick about it.

Don’t move immediately to pin her down for a real date. Instead, wait a day, then reply “did u wish me happy labor day? weirdo.” Or, “you’re so cute when you stalk me”. The female SOT needs to know that you aren’t the kind of desperate guy to ask “how shiny?” when she tells you to polish her pedestal. She needs to be reminded in so many words that SHE’S the one who texted YOU, not the other way around, and this reminder of her active solicitation will reinforce the implication in her mind that you are the higher value company to keep.

Nothing screams “high value” like obsessing on the internet about how to outwit women with catty text messages.

Heartiste adds a little postscript:

PS If you want to use a SOT to open the lines of communication with a prospect, one irresistibly jerkish maneuver is to text the girl “happy bday” two weeks after her actual birthday. When she responds (and she will) that you’re two weeks late, grace her with a laconic “woops”. This is a small but powerful tactic to close the organic chaser (man)-chased (woman) gap, and thus improve your odds-to-lay.

Heartiste, I hate to break it to you, but you’re not actually the first guy to come up with the  brilliant strategy of trying to get with women by being an asshole.

Naturally, Heartiste’s readers have their own, equally brilliant ideas.

Peter Pan notes that:

You can always send a SOT on the day of as well… just lace it with a slightly insulting element. For instance, deliberately get her name wrong, or say something like “Happy Birthday, grandma.” They have difficulty allowing such small things pass, and will reply to see if you were joking or not.

Oh, very clever.

themanofmystery2 offers his own “witty rejoinders.” No, that’s really what he calls them.

1. “Missed me, eh? No surprise there.”
2. “I’ve been waiting all year for you to send me that. THANK YOU!!!! 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 XD XD XD XD XD … ”
NEXT LINE: “You’re gay.”
3. [No matter what the holiday] “Happy Grandparents Day to you!” followed by an image of Depends with the caption “I got you a gift” (Careful with this one if she’s over 30 and has a weak self image)

SuperFucker! added his two cents:

[R]eaching out and and reminding her of the anniversary of something unpleasant, like the day she accidentally ran over her dog, is another appropriate neg for a girl giving you the runaround. Do NOT remind her of something truly horrific, though. Subtlety is key.

Such subtlety.

Sometimes I wonder if any of these guys have ever even been in the same room as a woman.

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Sarity
Sarity
7 years ago

I got so many cringes in my stomach reading the GQ reporter’s account of Blair’s interactions with MRAs. Apparently they feel free to act inappropriately toward feMRAs, because hey, these women have taken the red pill and they understand that only feminist harpies get uncomfortable with things like forced hugs. “We can act with zero regard for your consent, because if you object to anything, you know you’ll be deemed no better than those stuck up man-hating bitches and treated as such.” Even while this guy is creeping on her, he reminds her to avoid giving off “messages” that would make his actions all her fault.

It gives me a bizarre pity for feMRAs who attend these events, because they’re obviously trapped tolerating unwelcome behavior to avoid being turned against. It’s clear when she only later admits it as being “the most unconsensual hug I have ever known.” And somehow still considers them “warm people,” despite their blatant disregard for boundaries and later joking about filming her rape in a hotel room. I hope before someone is outright sexually assaulted that she and women like her wise to the fact that despite being on their side ideologically, they’re still subhuman sex receptors to these guys.

Sarity
Sarity
7 years ago

Well I’m good and red-faced for my ignorance about who she was. >_< I hadn't heard of her before this article, and got the impression based on the reported details of their treatment of her. Thanks for that gigantic correction.

I wouldn't be surprised if said MRAs didn't seem aware of her ideological side either simply because the courage of a feminist (especially female) to attend one of these events openly would have to be monumental.

ParadoxicalIntention
7 years ago

Kootiepatra | February 25, 2015 at 12:17 pm

I also love how they claim they are being misrepresented—not because the author actually made stuff up, or left out crucial context that entirely changes the meaning of what he reported—but because he didn’t lay out MRA doctrine in exquisite detail and then affirm every last bit it.

Quoth the MRA; “Context!”

Seriously. How many manospherians have come barging in here screeching about David’s supposed lack of context? What do they want us (or more specifically David) to do?

“Oh? I’m sorry I said that Paul Elam is a rape apologist when I posted that entire paragraph about how he said if he were on a jury for a male on female rape case he’d never say the rapist was guilty no matter how strong the evidence looked. Let’s just read over the entire AVfM site and then we’ll see how wrong I really was!”

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

Yes, because the only way to see that you’re not complete shit for that terrible thing you just fucking said is to read more of your terrible fucking shit because somehow it will all make sense?

Catalpa
Catalpa
7 years ago

@ParadoxicalIntention

It really seems like a lot of these guys parrot back feminist debate points without realizing what they are used for.

I used a single sentence out of a larger piece as a talking point about how feminists are evil, and people called me on taking it out of context, where the sentence was shown to not call for the death of all men! Clearly this means that whenever anyone says a quote I do not like, I can just scream “CONTEXT!” and neutralize it, even when the context doesn’t change the meaning of the thing in the least!

Hm, social justice types tend to listen to marginalized groups when they talk about their experiences being marginalized. Clearly this means that SJWs will blindly agree with anything that a marginalized person says, and if I claim to be female/black/gay/trans then they’ll have no choice but to accept my word as fact and defer to me in all things, ahahaha!

It’s like watching aliens that have only the barest grasp on how social interaction actually works, and only communicate via mimicry.

ParadoxicalIntention
7 years ago

Catalpa | February 25, 2015 at 11:06 pm

@ParadoxicalIntention

It really seems like a lot of these guys parrot back feminist debate points without realizing what they are used for.

I think it’s because they’ve realized on a subconscious level that feminists know exactly what we’re doing, and they’ve also discovered that it works. They just don’t know how it works themselves quite yet.

lith
lith
7 years ago

@Paradoxicalintention:

I’m imagining them treating it as some kind of alien technology. Though I think someone mentioned them being all cargo cult earlier about how to get women to sleep with you, and that probably fits better here.

lith
lith
7 years ago

Actually now I’m imagining them as the three little alien toys in Toy Story, “The Claw!”.

amberisthecolor
7 years ago

LMAO what are these, very stupid 5-year-olds?

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