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Women Joking About Condoms: Part 297 in a series of Things That Totally Oppress Men For Real No I'm Serious

There's a condom big enough for every dick.
There’s a condom big enough for every dick.

In a sort of rebuke to men who complain that they’re “too big” to wear condoms, one Swedish gal pulled a condom over her leg and up nearly to her knee, and posted a pic documenting this feat to Instagram. This pic:


Naturally, some men have reacted with outrage. When the pic was posted recently on WomensRightsNews, a host of dudes popped up in the comments to point out that not all men are comfortable in regular sized condoms. (Uh, I’m pretty sure that’s why they make bigger sizes, dudes.)

And then there was this guy.

Jayme Crandall · Top Commenter · University of Wisconsin Colleges She probably advocates aborting male children and mass sterilization/poisoning of men. Typical RadFem. If men were to go around telling women to use IUDs, and buy female condoms, we'd be labeled as misogynistic. If men were to make a website making fun of womens excuses for not having sex, we'd be labelled as disgusting pigs. You feminists are so anti-equality. It used to be positive, but its become disgusting. Equality is NOT A ZERO-SUM GAME. You wont win by lowering everyone.

Yes, this is his response to a picture of a woman’s leg with a condom stretched over it.

But as it turns out, he was just getting started. Responding to one commenter who took issue with his, er, analysis, he spat forth these giant gobs of text. I won’t summarize them, because, honestly, my eyes glazed over after about the third word in ALL CAPS.

Jayme Crandall · Top Commenter · University of Wisconsin Colleges Netania Gazda i could just as easily say to a woman who wants to have sex, but doesnt want to get pregnant - get an IUD! But if i did that, id be a misogynistic, disgusting pig who has no right to tell a woman to do anything. Of course in your world, the world we live in now, its totally appropriate to disparage and MAKE MEN DO WHAT YOU WANT (i.e be completely responsible for birth control) but inappropriate to ask that of a woman. Exactly what i said - anti-equality. In todays world, a man who tells a woman to be safe to not get raped is a "rape apologist, victim blamer", but a woman who tells a man that he CANT BE RAPED, that shapes laws and policy to make rape penetration only, that a man must have enjoyed it so it wasnt rape - that woman isnt a "rape apologist" or a "victim blamer" - shes a feminist. GIRL POWER! Its worse than victim blaming, its VICTIM ERASURE. We live in a world today where women are driving men and boys into the dirt. Men are losing ground EVERYWHERE In modern society. More depressed, more suicide, MORE VULNERABLE TO VIOLENCE AND CRIME (contrary to what women would tell you. violence is something ONLY women deal with, according to feminists), less education, more prison, less college, onn and on and on. Femists want you to believe this is a misogynistic world, but if a man is misogynist, his life is ruined, if a woman is a man-hater, its PRAISED. Its a GOOD THING. That flies in the face of the feminist narrative. If this truly was a MAN'S WORLD, it would be no big deal to be misogynistic, it would be shrugged off as ok. But of course that ISNT how it is. What IS shrugged off is being a man-hater. Reply · Like · 8 · Edited · January 16 at 10:08pm Jayme Crandall · Top Commenter · University of Wisconsin Colleges Netania Gazda Lets not forget that the whole feminism movement was founded to shift women out of traditional roles. It was so effective that women now have multiple life options to choose from. Guess who is STILL STUCK in their traditional role? MEN. Men have NO VALUE, not worthy of LOVE, or PARTNERSHIP, or ANYTHING, unless they embrace their traditional role. We have no options - Work, Work harder, or work yourself to death. All to provide for someone to raise our children, make them hate us, divorce us, and steal 75% of our net worth ALONG with our children, all the while criticizing our every move. Feminism must end and equality MUST prevail.
Another commenter raised an interesting point:

Lei Qian · Melbourne, Victoria, Australia Err if she wants mass murder of males the condoms become obsolete so why demonstrate the use of a condom Reply · Like · 5 · January 16 at 10:28pm Jayme Crandall · Top Commenter · University of Wisconsin Colleges Lei Qian It was more a joke reference to the leaks from a feminist website where they called for the poisoning, mass sterilizations, and abortions of male fetuses. Its important men wake up and realize what they are up against. Total domination and slavery.

Huh. That must be a reference to the legendary Agent Orange files. I guess Jayme is a reader of A Voice for Men?

He then moved on to some, er, art criticism, I guess?

Jayme Crandall · Top Commenter · University of Wisconsin Colleges Meanwhile, a woman can stick wool in her vagina, and knit a weird, straight shaped piece of disgusting shit filled with uterine lining and blood clots (and daresay, aborted fetuses and miscarriages), and shes a fucking HERO! OMG WHAT A PERFECT SOUL! Thats an acceptable life path for a woman. I guarantee if i stuck wool up my urethra, jerked off repeatedly, and knitted a hat out of it, and called myself a artist whose communed with my inner masculinity, and now im a perfect being, in harmony with my creator (who is a manly he god of gleaming muscles and 13in cock) id be put in a loony bin. Thx Feminism.

For what it’s worth, dude, Andy Warhol made a painting using his own semen, as did Marcel Duchamp. And this guy made a portrait of Justin Bieber out of other people’s pubic hair. So go wild, dude, stick wool up your urethra in the name of dude art!

Jayme then went on to address the wage gap issue, and then that whole “turning men into nothing more than egg fertilizers” thing that is apparently the grand aim of feminism.

Jayme Crandall · Top Commenter · University of Wisconsin Colleges Lois Corinne Munteanu Incorrect. According to the Pew Research Center - young women fresh out of college have equal pay to men. Its only when things occur that lower work productivity, ability to have open availability, and sick days used increases that the gender pay gap mysteriously appears. Just as theyve been saying for years, women get paid less because they have responsibilities outside the workforce, mainly children. Of course this isnt a bad thing. It only becomes a bad thing when you demand equal pay when you're only doing 80% of the work. Stop using your uterus and personal choice to have children to force employers to pay you for work that isnt done. Women that dont have children experience NO WAGE GAP. Reply · Like · 3 · Edited · January 16 at 10:52pm Jayme Crandall · Top Commenter · University of Wisconsin Colleges Amy Kathleen Leroux Not bitter, just incredibly worried about how much more abuse my gender can take before our collective will is destroyed. By then of course, you wont need us. We'll just be egg fertilizers then, relegated to unimportance.I just have a couple of questions.

How exactly did Jayme Crandall become a “Top Commenter?” I think something might have gone wrong with the selection process here.

Also, why are so many angry dudes reading something called WomensRightsNews?

Ok, that’s last question was a joke. OF COURSE angry dudes are reading WomensRightsNews. Hell, there’s probably no more effective way to reel in the angry dude demographic than to mention feminism online. They are drawn to articles about feminism with the same powerful mystical force that draws cats to paper bags:

catrapsH/T — Sunnysombrera, who posted a link to this whole wondrous discussion in the comments here. Thanks!

188 replies on “Women Joking About Condoms: Part 297 in a series of Things That Totally Oppress Men For Real No I'm Serious”

To clarify: when I say “unaware of his male privilege” what I mean is at some point I might have to explain to him the kind of things that women experience or have to live with e.g rape culture. We’ve never talked about this stuff as its never come up, and I think he’s said some things before to suggest he’s not that clued in about women’s experiences, but he’s still kind of young and who better to talk to him than his big sister.

Besides what were the thinking when branding condoms Trojan. Associates to Trojan horses which does not signify reliability.

Yeeeah, when marketing to people who are hoping to avoid pregnancy and STDs, it’s probably not the best idea to evoke images of a stealthy army hidden inside a thing, and waiting till the thing gets taken inside the city walls so they can spill out and roam around freely under cover of darkness. Trojans might be all alpha and shit cause they wear helmets, but in the end Troy got sacked.

I reckon the person who came up with the Trojan name had grown up with the expression “worked like a Trojan” as showing admiration for people who worked really hard …

… and nobody else said, “Now just waaaaaaait a minute. There’s the unreliable, deceptive, treacherous Trojan horse to consider here.”

Some TMI:
Yeah, see, guys like this made my first tries at sex much worse than it needed to be. Not because they pulled anything like this, but because I was so paranoid that they would. You wanna talk about uncomfortable? Try the dread that grips you when you can’t remember whether they had a condom on that one time, not being able to relax until you get your period again (which, chances are, will be delayed by the stress), coming up with plans for worst case scenarios until then. If I wasn’t sure about no kids before, that brief time of uncertainty settled the matter. It was all “I-can’t-have-a-kid-I’d-make-a-miserable-single-mother-I-just-freaking-got-this-job-dear-god-if-you-can-hear-me-please-don’t-let-me-be-pregnant-especially-not-with-that-douchebag’s-kid-if-I-am-I’m-gonna-have-to-get-an-abortion-what-if-there’s-somebody-I-know-at-the-clinic-should-I-go-to-a-different-city-I-don’t-have-the-money-for-this-either-way-I-couldn’t-even-ask-my-pro-life-family-for-help-is-this-the-nausea-I-usually-get-before-my-period-or-could-this-be-morning-sickness-fuck-fuck-FUCK” on a loop in my head for over a week.

Finally figuring out that I didn’t get enjoyment out of either romantic relationships or casual hook-ups was a relief, actually. I never want to relive that kind of uncertainty. Asexuality for the win!

On a side note (more TMI), I’m curious about something. How do those of us on the vaginal side of PIV sex not get some sort of infection (not STD, just yeast or similar) the first time? Both me and my sister had that happen after our respective first times. Just wondering how common it was, if there’s any good way to prevent it besides the usual hygiene, and how the hell did I go over twenty three years without hearing about it as a very possible consequence of sex?


Yeah, my pro-life mom cottoned on that I was having Teh Forbidden Sexytimes (good lord was that ever a traumatic time) when I started getting yeast infections and didn’t know what they were. Clearly that must be pretty common, but it isn’t something you really hear about.

These days (TMI yay!) when I’m celibate for a while and start having sex again, I’m more likely to get BV. I hate BV; it makes me feel gross and dirty. I know you can help prevent UTIs by peeing right after sex, but I dunno about yeast and BV, except like probiotics.

I didn’t get one after my first time (purely by luck), but I did after we started experimenting. Despite how fun TV and magazines make it look, chocolate body paint does not go down there! X_X Ahh, the joys of zero sex education…

And if you have delicate chemistry, those fancy sugar scrubs require extreme caution.

Things nobody tells you, man.

I got yeast infections long before ever having sex. Other than good hygiene and comfy cotton underwear, eating lots of yogurt helps.

I never got an infection after my first time. Or any other time. I guess some people are prone to YI and BV and some aren’t? I had some sort of infection when I was 13. Before I even started my period. But I was too embarrassed to tell my mom and it went away on its own.

I can’t even remember if I first saw this here or not, but here’s a massively encouraging and clear post on Buzzfeed’s Tumblr:

The best part is that even though he (and yes, I’m going out on a limb and guessing it’s a ‘he’) tries to sound all concerned about some specific evil feminist movement, he slips up and outright says “women” earlier. Women?! On the Internet?! Enjoying Buzzfeed articles instead of just being background decoration for me?! Tosser.

I didn’t get one either after my first time, and honestly I’ve never had one (lucky). I think some ppl are just more (or less) prone to them. So I don’t know if it’s common, or just… well common if you’re prone to getting them in the first place.

Been getting UTIs since long before sex. I’ve been doing well for a few years but between about eighteen and twenty-four it was two or three a year. Never had them associated with sex.

I’ve had a handful of yeast infections, one I’m overcoming now. I used the wrong soap to wash my menstrual cup and, two days later, was a very uncomfortable girl. I’m never traditionally symptomatic with the fucking things so it took me a while to figure out this is a yeast infection and requires anti-fungal treatment. Hard to tell when your vulva is burning and the skin’s breaking but there’s no candida build up to indicate a cause. I just thought my skin was really dry the first time. I usually get them after a period when my vadge pH has been slightly altered by flow.

I had BV once. Had been celibate for many months. Had a LOT of sex with someone over a short period of time. My cooter began smelling strongly of salmon. It was humiliating.

🙁 marinerachel!

I only ever got UTI’s from sex and usually during that “honeymoon phase” of a new relationship. But I think the latter of what Tracy said is true: some people are more prone to them.

I had a lot of bladder/kidney problems when I was young that just went away as I got older.

Of course, I haven’t had any PIV in almost a decade, so the pee precaution would still be employed if I decided to resume. Once I got more experienced and was getting more pleasure out of sex, I needed to pee when I was done anyway (and sometimes during!) 🙂

But to get back to what WWTH was saying, letting women know that these are risks associated with sexual activity is important. It’s not just STD’s and pregnancy and once I was aware of these risks and that I was in a high-risk group, that had a big impact on some of the decisions I was making. (Sort of like Elaine from Seinfeld and her “Is he Sponge-worthy?”) I think I learned a lot about these issues from Glamour magazine in the early 90s. Of course, I had been sexually active since the mid-80s.

@friday jones

So I guess if I had one takeaway bit of advice, it’s not to expect very much from a runaway Dad if and when he shows back up in one’s life.

I second this. Like Mouse Farts, I was raised by my mom on all sorts of stories about how awful my biological father was. She liked to compare me to him as well, once telling me I was “evil like him”. I was about 8 at the time. I hit 21, and biodad tracks me down on fricken MySpace and sends me a friend request–no accompanying message–because if you’re going to be an abandoning douche, may as well try to reunite with your child in a manner which reflects that douchiness.

He shows up to the coffee shop we’re supposed to meet in for the first time in two decades two hours late in a Porsche, really hammering home that douche status as hard as possible. Spends a couple hours telling me sex stories about him and my mother, because I guess he was trying to be more subtle about his chart-topping levels of doucheism.

Year-long story short, he bragged about how rich he was, told me I was a waste who should just join the military, tried to hook up with my mother even though he had a wife, and I eventually told him that I’d gone twenty years without him and would be happy to repeat the experience in perpetuity. He abandoned his third family shortly after, because why the fuck not with that track record. Inexplicably sent my mother a pic of him and some woman three years later, told her at one point he had brain cancer, said he’d given up his “fortune” to wander the world, other random weird shit.

My mom wasn’t much better raising me–I always carried the stigma with her and her family of being that man’s daughter. She also saw it as some huge sacrifice to actually keep me instead of giving me up like he did. Because of Parent Issues(TM), during the time biodad was in the picture, I actually thought one might be better than the other in being a parent to me, but I eventually had to admit to myself that it was never going to happen because they both really suck. It explained why I really related to Roald Dahl’s Matilda, though. WHY CAN’T ABUSE SURVIVORS HAVE SUPERPOWERS DAMMIT IT’S ONLY FAIR.

“Top commenter” just means runs their mouth a lot. After you post a certain number of comments on a certain number of sites that are all affiliated together you become a “top commenter” no matter how shite your comments are.

People are so biased towards their own political side. I’m a guy, but part of the reason I deliberately do not engage in casual sex is because I don’t want to damage a girl’s body.

Also, a condom does not chemically alter a man’s physiology the way an IUD or birth control pills alter a girl’s. It’s not a fair comparison.

But all this stuff can fail. Using girls for random sex is mean and selfish. I’ve only had sex twice in my life, and I try to avoid porn as much as I can when I do get sexually frustrated, (until I meet the right girl and can finally have healthy sex with her).

I guess somewhere in my childhood I learned not to hate women (probably from my mother). I don’t know what’s wrong with these other psychotic men. Maybe their mothers mistreated or abandoned them when they were young, and now they take it out on all women. (Actually, my mom wasn’t even perfect, but I still must have learned something during my very early formative years.)

Matt, dude, if you’re not that into sex, just don’t have sex. But don’t hold on to all these crazy ideas that your penis is so super-duper special and powerful and dangerous that penetrating a woman with it will damage her body for life. The vagina is actually pretty resilient, yo.

Can we ban Matthew? He just shows up and flings poo in all the threads before running away. He isn’t even the fun kind of troll because he never responds to anything.

I think he just does it to get people to read his blog (so he can convince humans to quit having sex). I’d rather not give him the publicity.

Ok. This is of course absolutely ridiculous of the MRM for so many reasons: gender roles and expectations we put on men lead men to suicide and early death, and they focus on women making fun of condoms??? All right, go ahead, but then they forfeit the right to dismiss manspreading as whining. You can’t have your cake and eat it.

But we are also throwing out the baby with the bathwater in a sense. There IS a real sense in which society (both men and women) feel that male insecurities, in particular sexual ones, are fair game for ridicule. This incident, the 90s hit Short-dick man – this is everywhere. Just because the men that feel inadequate are not talking about it as much as women do, does not mean they are not suffering. In fact, bottled up frustration can end up hurting others as well.

The reason? Gender roles. Men as strong, men as performers. Those which help a visible minority of men to dominate important positions in society. As a gay man growing up in the 80s, before the enormous progress and mainstreaming of gays in Western society, I am convinced that, although we may not be aware of it, men have as much, if not more, to gain from removing the constraints of gender roles than women. I know, both feminists and MRMs will probably beg to differ, but that is my experience.

THAT is why although this seems like whining when compared to the huge issues women face, we feminists should decry this sort of demeaning behavior with the same verve as the MRM. It is part of a harmful system that may have been helpful in the Stone Age to ensure the survival of the species, but that now prevent us from being fully human. We keep telling the MRM that what ails men is gender roles. Well as the movement with the driving momentum on gender issues, let’s do something about not some, but all of the harmful ways in which they manifest themselves.

But we are also throwing out the baby with the bathwater in a sense. There IS a real sense in which society (both men and women) feel that male insecurities, in particular sexual ones, are fair game for ridicule.

I don’t think that using the bullshit “I’m too big for a condom” excuse instead of actually trying to find a condom that fits you counts as a sexual insecurity. I think that it counts as a tactic to convince other people to have unsafe sex with you.

Yeah, WWTH, freeing men from those roles would be a good thing. However, if we’re poking fun at men who are whining about how they can’t score an HB8 or higher, we’re not poking fun at their sexual insecurities. We’re poking fun at their sense of entitlement and their rage when they don’t get what they want from women. Maybe those feelings do stem from insecurity–they almost definitely stem from men’s desire to prove their manhood–but no amount of insecurity justifies their rage at women who won’t fuck them.

Seconding alaisvex! There’s a British company, true fit or something like that, that sells a whole range of condom sizes, with a handy printout to use to measure your junk. For the exceptionally well endowed, this may be a better option than dealing with the ring at the end causing numb cock syndrome. But I’m not buying, for a second, that being too big for off the shelf condoms to be comfortable causes insecurity — more like bragging about just how big it is!

And, regardless the size, you should be using rubbers. So go find a hat that fits, because you shouldn’t be playing without a rubber hat on! (Best. Euphemism. EVAR!)

I never knew how much Misandry!TM was involved in using easily donned protection from the transmission of many STDs from a potentially asymptomatic partner…

Swedishfish, we’re not laughing at dudes for legit having problems finding condoms. We’re laughing at misogynists whose first reaction to a woman saying there are condoms for every size is to accuse her of wanting to kill all men and other such malarkey.

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