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Your missing socks — laundry weirdness or evil female mind game?

It's also possible your cat has them. Devious little bastards.
It’s also possible your cat has them. Devious little bastards.

Fellas, you know how sometimes socks go missing (or at least seem to go missing) in the laundry? Weird, huh? Or is it all part of a sinister plot?

On The Red Pill subreddit, one concerned fella warns his comrades that laundry-doing females maybe losing your socks on purpose, for some nefarious female reason we may never understand.

[H]oly shit, can chicks wash a pair of socks without one disappearing into a parallel dimension never to be seen again?

Little shit I know. But I’ve spent the bulk of my life as a single guy in his own pad. NEVER had the missing sock issue, could always find my shit. It’s not hard to do, being organized, so this leads me to think the whole thing is a woman’s mind game designed to test you.

They are devious, these human  females.

H/T — Cloudiah

109 replies on “Your missing socks — laundry weirdness or evil female mind game?”

I wonder if they think feminists are the ones who make your tongue taste awful after too much junk food or something.

True story of evil wimmins and their sock mind games: I used to strore my kids out of season clothes at my parents because our apartment was so small and they had the space. When I had my youngest, my mom, being awesome, washed her clothes for me. Not long after, she started complaining that her washer wasn’t washing correcly. Both my dad and my husband (who worked in appliance repair) told her she was crazy. Finally, it stopped draining altogether and my dad had to take it apart. Inside the drain he found not one, but 3 newborn baby socks. My poor “crazy” mother was vindicated.

Of anyone who should know better you think my husband would. I’ve heard many horror stories of things found in washing machines/dryers where they shouldn’t be. Some of the worst offenders seems to be loose change in washing machines that falls behind the tub and gets sucked into the pump where it shreds it. Hello expensive repair bill. 🙁

The sock rant is reminding me of the fear of being laughed at:

There’s also research on whether you can distinguish if people are laughing at you or just laughing near you (at something else). And this factor is predictive of an authoritarian mindset.

It also speaks of paranoia.

I’m no psychologist (obviously). I’m just a bus driver. As a bus driver, this is the kind of person you try to talk down with a really calm, soothing voice.

Seeing intentionality where there is none is a short path to conflict. There couldn’t be an innocent explanation for sock loss in the context of doing a whole household of laundry? And you can’t just laugh off the loss of a sock but instead must rage about it?

FWIW I don’t put dress socks in the dryer. Putting synthetic stuff in the hot dryer is bad and leads to pilling. I just hang them on a clothes dryer and they dry really fast. Anything with cotton in it gets dumped in the dryer, though. Tube socks, etc.

There’s also a product or a trick where you get old plastic disposable lids and draw a knife through the middle and then pull a pair of socks through so they don’t lose their mates in the washer. If you had to do washing for a big family it makes sense. Otherwise, it kind of sucks.

Years and years ago I lived near not one but TWO large military training bases. I was also a playtester/GM for a tabletop role playing game a couple of friends were writing.

Result- I spent a lot of time in the company of young men (18 to 21 years old) who were away from home for the first time.About every three months I’d declare a Domestic Boot Camp Day, collect the newbies and spend an afternoon on basic household tasks.

“This, gentlemen, is a washing machine. Here is how you read a clothing care label. Here is how you follow the instructions. Next up, the iron. If you choose to skip this part plan on paying someone else good money to press your uniforms because your platoon sergeant will surely ding you if it’s done badly. That’s an oven, you may have one once you leave barracks so let’s try our hands at a simple recipe or two.”

If I had my way there’s be a required Independent Living Skills course as part if high school. Which guys who really plan to go their own way would be all over, right?

@nunyo, I believe you refer to a “fitted sheet.” The flat sheet is the one with no elastic thingies. 😀

And here I always thought men deliberately stole women’s socks from the laundry in order to get women to give up on socks (surely one of those Men Only domains, not?) entirely and stick to panty hose or nothing. Who knew?

Now I’m reminded of *Rumpole and the Female of the Species* in which April Timson hides her share of the loot from a robbery in the washing machine because her husband would be hard pressed even to know where that appliance was, let alone ever look inside it.

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