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Misogyny Theater: Sandman in The Friendzone Bullpen

Welcome to the third episode of Misogyny Theater!

Today, we bring to life (sort of) some audio excerpts from a video by Sandman, a prolific videoblogger and self-described Man Going His Own Way. He addresses such topics as the friendzone, Mr. Big from Sex and the City, and the shelf life of the human vergina. Well, that’s how he pronounces it, anyway.

The audio is taken from his video “Friendzone Revenge,” starting about 3:50 in. I edited his remarks for length and to remove repetition.

As someone who watched a bit of Sex and the City back in the day, I feel that I should note that Sandman’s “analysis” of Mr. Big is pretty much total bullshit. I would also like to note that the show would have been ten times better if Patrick Warburton had played Mr. Big. And possibly painted his face once in a while.

The sound clip of birds tweeting came from

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8 years ago

Contrapangloss, pallygirl – I’ve wondered if I have vaginismus, too, because my experience with tampons and the one time I’ve ever had a partial pap smear is the same. I wouldn’t have had that smear at all if the doctor hadn’t been a PoS, and it wasn’t completed because it was just too painful to endure. Another reason to be very glad my beloved is in Spirit, because it isn’t an issue for me when we’re on the same plane over There, and doesn’t work quite that way over here.

Leisha Young
8 years ago

Wasn’t Mr Big the one that left Carrie at the alter? Doesn’t sound like a ‘mangina’ to me.Then I realised something! They aren’t real people…silly me!

8 years ago

@contrapangloss, pallygirl

There can be physiologic causes of vaginismus that are very hard to diagnose (I once knew a woman who had lichen planus on her perineum that caused it for her). Unfortunately, it seems a lot of practitioners either poo-poo it or write it off as psychological, rather than looking for a discrete physiological cause. If that isn’t the case with you, then I apologise for jumping to conclusions. Anyhow, my only point was that I wish you all luck if you decide to seek treatment, but therapy might not work, either.

8 years ago

@kitteh: it could be. Wikipedia is very accurate for how, if one has vaginismus, then the fear of the pain also makes one tense up and that exacerbates the existing issue. When I had sex for the first time, I made sure I was really drunk (we’d been flirting for months, I was super attracted to him, and we went out for dinner as a planned after-work event so I knew it was going to happen, if possible). It hurt, but the alcohol helped. Afterwards, he had to prop me up in the shower against the wall, as I wasn’t able to stand. But was capable of offering enthusiastic consent,

I carry the fact that I slept with no-one from school as a badge of honour. πŸ™‚

@grumpyoldnurse: yeah, I was thinking that there could be a physical cause too, maybe not necessarily vaginismus but something that presents that way.

I sadly am lumbered with an apparently short pelvis for my height, and a touchy cervix (like yelp touchy). I give a side-eye to any large sex toys I’m shown.

Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Sex toy advice, please ignore me as you see fit! But they make non-penetrative vibrators, anything of the magic bullet variety can make a nice external toy, and anal toys can always be used elsewhere if they’re brand spanking new and thus clean and shiny. (Use condoms if you’re gonna share them or switch orrifices, latex and similar are easy to clean with a quick wash, but same lube issues as latex condoms, insert rest of safer sex tips here, you know the drill πŸ™‚ )

7 years ago

David Futrelle

How is it that people like “Sandman” actually think that women are forcing men to have children? Seriously, does he expect us to believe that they hold a knife up to a guys throat and then tell him, have get me pregnant, and after my kids are born, if you don’t help me take care of them, I’ll kill you?

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