And that is just the beginning of a wondrous little exchange between a self-described “nice guy” trying out some bad boy charm on a not-very receptive woman on OkCupid who nonetheless deals with his ridiculous assholery with aplomb.
Note to “nice guy.” You might want to reconsider some of your assumptions. And work on your typing.
I found this on the endlessly fascinating, if often deeply disturbing, CreepyPMs subreddit, one of Reddit’s few redeeming features. You can read the rest of the conversation here, and the CreepyPM post here.
If anyone tried that on me I’d tell them to put a cork in it.
He really should just mallow out.
I wonder if he lives DIRECTLY on a beech . . .
I never understood split tail, personally. Everyone’s “tail” is split….
You could try not opening with an incomprehensible insult. Just a thought.
Oak kay everyone. Enough with the punning.
Just look at all these misandrists!
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I really like birch beer…
A statement that makes more sense than his opener, and is nicer.
From afar – that bikini tree has some junk in the trunk.
The OP’s junk is clearly in his head. I’ll stop here; don’t want anyone to get sick o’ more puns.
What’s the matter, weirwoodtreehugger? Are you plum tired of all the puns? Cherry up, there can’t be that many more of them out there!
Sadly, no-one rose to the occasion re the request to stop the puns.
gillyrosebee, orange you glad my anger isn’t blossoming?
WWTH, you still might want to trim it down a little if you don’t want to look like a big crabapple.
Log this as another day of great puns.
Fine grumpycat, I’m getting in my canoe and rowan out of here.
I love this place.
Not her fault he’s such a dogwood.
Blargh. Not this nice guy shtick again. They all say the same things, in the same way. Are they the same person on the internet or what?
That convo had a nice ending at least. Lol
Just leaving this here:
What acorn-y bunch you all are. You arbor be ash amed.
You mean this nice guy stick.
If only he’d twig onto the fact that he’s a laughing stock.
I think he’s barking up the wrong tree.
He should just leave.