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“Feminism’s essence is that of a greedy quest,” Men’s Rights essayist explains.

Montaigne wept
Montaigne wept

Many of you may have been worried, but I’m happy to report to you today that the future of the Men’s Rights movement is in good hands! My evidence? The following essay on the evil that is feminism, posted recently to the Men’s Rights subreddit by a 5-year-old boy.

At least I’m assuming it was posted by a 5-year-old boy. If it was posted by a teenager, or — heaven forbid! — an adult, well, all bets are off.


The essay was inspired by the age-old question: What is the nature of evil?

To that, the fellow who calls himself newmressay answers: Feminism. Let’s let him explain:

The New Webster’s Dictionary defines evil as “what is morally wrong, what hinders the realization of the good,” and “what is materially, esp. socially, very harmful,” (328-329 New Webster’s Dictionary and Thesaurus of the English Language). It also defines feminism as “the policy, practice, or advocacy of political, economical, and social equality for women,” (346 New Webster’s Dictionary and Thesaurus of the English Language).

Aw, yeah! He’s kickin it off Webster-style!

Now, for a massive leap in logic: Feminism is a modern evil.

Well, a leap, anyway. We’ll see about the logic.

Why? After all, in the past century it has achieved most of its goals in the developed world and is permeating into the third world; numerous pieces of legislation, specifically in the United States, have given women the right to vote, own land, and prevent discrimination and harassment in education and the workplace.

You can OWN LAND, ladies. All lady problems have been solved forever! Time to close up shop!

But wait! The feminists have the audacity to continue to exist?

Feminism is good to a fault. Much like a line, it keeps going.

Much like a line? A line!? That just doesn’t have much zing to it.

Much like the Energizer bunny, feminism keeps going and going …

Much like a shark, it must continually swim forward gnashing its giant teeth or it will die!

Much like sandpeople, feminism travels in single file to hide its numbers.

Like a banana, it splits?

I’m just spitballing here. I’m sure you can think of a million more.

It is no longer about equality, but equity.

Uh, equity means “fairness.” That’s a bad thing? Or do you mean “equity” as in “ownership?” I guess newmressay probably means that, but we’ll never know because he never says.

Western contemporary Feminism has become synonymous with the nature of evil: materialistic pursuits with adverse societal consequences.

Oh, so you quoted Webster’s but didn’t actually understand its definition. When it said “materially” it didn’t mean “materialistically.” Also, huh? What does feminism have to do with materialism?

Feminism has Orwellian tendencies to maintain and “enforce” its beliefs and goals in the name of following ideological tenets, rather than empirical data they see before them, Feminists censor and distort data found in their studies.

Newmressay then cites a self-serving paper by Murray Straus, who claims that feminists have unfairly dismissed his domestic violence research and threatened fellow researchers who’ve failed to toe the feminist line. In fact, there are many valid reasons to be wary of Straus’ work, as I point out here.

The alleged threats are more worrisome, but newmressay cites the example of only a single researcher; if you check his original sources you will find that the harassment took place decades ago and that the perpetrators were never identified.

Newmressay drags out his copy of 1984 to give us some quotes about our boy Winston being forced to change facts and figures to fit the party line. Which would be very damning if there were evidence that feminists actually did this, but there isn’t.

Then with the help of more antifeminist “scholars” he misrepresents the notion of “patriarchy” and gets mad at feminists for that. He follows this by summarizing (badly) two feminist-bashing columns from neocon faux-feminist Christina Hoff Sommers before moving on to his grand conclusion:

Feminism’s essence is that of a greedy quest, resulting in harm to society: evil.

Greedy quest? Greedy Quest sounds like a third-rate Bejeweled knockoff.

It pushes and pushes to further its agenda of equity, not equality.

You know, you really might want to rethink this whole “equity” thing, given that most people are going to assume you mean “fairness,” and given that your gal Christina Hoff Sommers actually calls herself an “equity feminist” and means that as a good thing.

In its pushing, it has damaged society by stereotyping men and belittling the issues of others in the developing world. Although in the past it has served for the benefit of all in society, it now is pushing an agenda that threatens everyone. This evil, that which damages society, will persist until more realize what it is doing.

Dude, I don’t even understand what you’re doing.

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freemage
freemage
8 years ago

Ah, a lovely bit of whataboutism at the end, there. “What about starvation in Ethiopia? How dare you feminists complain about rape culture when there are children going to sleep hungry at night?”

Ally S
8 years ago

I critiqued parts of the essay in the comments. 4 upvotes and 4 downvotes. I hope I wasn’t too harsh. :c

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
8 years ago

In conclusion, America is a land of contrasts.

kittehserf
8 years ago

Ally, you can never be too harsh with MRA fuckwits. No reason to worry about their hurt fee-fees.

The bit about enforcing ideological tenets is typical. It’s not like MRAs and patriarchal societies in general have ideologies they enforce, oh no.

I suppose we should be grateful he wrote tenets and not tenants.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
8 years ago

Could he maybe learn how to English before posting any more essays? (Hey, makes more sense than whatever he’s trying to say about “equity”.)

Sometimes I wonder if it would be funny to troll these guys with Animal Farm quotes, but then I realize they’re too stupid to get it.

volt
volt
8 years ago

“If you have the right to vote AND to own land, then you don’t need an equality movement.” -The Men’s Rights Movement

grumpycatisagirl
grumpycatisagirl
8 years ago

Today seems to be “throw all the random words I can at feminists to prove that they suck” day here at Manboobz. I wonder if the person who wrote this essay is the same one that came on here to whinge about the pussy power tantrum in the Manboobz FAQ thread.

Ally S
8 years ago

By the way, has anyone else noticed that the author didn’t even respond to the prompt? He just dove in to make an off-topic essay about how feminism matches the dictionary definition of evil.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
8 years ago

Maybe he figured that “the nature of evil is not having sex with me, because it makes me sad” had already been covered too often in that subreddit.

si1verdrake
si1verdrake
8 years ago

“Although in the past it has served for the benefit of all in society, it now is pushing an agenda that threatens everyone.”

It’s sad that my bar for the MRA crowd is so low, but I was actually pleasantly surprised that he at least acknowledges that feminism was a good thing, and not just for women.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
8 years ago

The agenda that threatens everyone is women not having to have sex with him or do his laundry. Kids will shoot up their schools, men will have to wear dirty socks. See what you’ve done, feminists?

Fibinachi
Fibinachi
8 years ago

Well I noticed, but I was going to talk about my pet goldfish instead, Ally.

sparky
sparky
8 years ago

“If you have the right to vote AND to own land, then you don’t need an equality movement.” -The Men’s Rights Movement

But wait! Men have the right to vote and own land! So that means we don’t need a men’s rights movement, right?

Ally S
8 years ago

But wait! Men have the right to vote and own land! So that means we don’t need a men’s rights movement, right?

Oops.

Bina
8 years ago

A “leap of logic”…that went straight off the Cliff of Stupidity and headlong into the Abyss of D’Ohhhh.

kittehserf
8 years ago

Abyss of D’Ohhhh.

I’m now imagining Homer Simpson falling off a cliff.

kittehserf
8 years ago

… possibly after failing to answer me these questions three. 😉

Bina
8 years ago

I wonder if the person who wrote this essay is the same one that came on here to whinge about the pussy power tantrum in the Manboobz FAQ thread.

I wondered that same thing. I also wondered if they knew how to English.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
8 years ago

BTW random but since I saw David tweet about it – was manboobz working for anyone else but not on Firefox yesterday? It was weird, worked fine on Chrome or even Explorer.

Bina
8 years ago

… possibly after failing to answer me these questions three.

“Smell? It SPHINX!”

freemage
freemage
8 years ago

Ally, that was… magnificent. If I knew how to drop in an applauding smilie (if it’s even possible on wordpress), there would be one here. Bravo!

kittehserf
8 years ago

Cassandra, it was fine on Firefox yesterday for me.

sparky
sparky
8 years ago

Abyss of D’Ohhhh.

I’m now imagining Homer Simpson falling off a cliff.

I present “The Abyss of D’Ohhhh.”


http://www.hulu.com/watch/31870

katz
8 years ago

“If you have the right to vote AND to own land, then you don’t need an equality movement.” -The Men’s Rights Movement

Which is funny because two rights that men have…

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
8 years ago

Really, the only right that men had that they’ve lost is the right to rape their wives. Oh noes, how terrible, they’re so oppressed now.

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