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antifeminism evil single moms friend zone friend zoning I'm totally being sarcastic misogyny MRA patronizing as heck the myth of warren farrell

Warren Farrell warns fellas to watch out for the “Repair Friend” Zone

Ladies! Look only at the picture of this sexy, sexy Alpha duck and do not read the post below.
Ladies! Look only at the picture of this sexy Alpha duck and do not read the post below.

Hey fellas! While we’re talking about the evils of the Friend Zone and possible legal sanctions against the women who so often and so maliciously put us there — and while the women are distracted by that picture of Scrooge McDuck above — I’d like to warn you of another kind of Friend Zone you need to be wary of: the “Repair Friend” Zone.

I learned of this danger from none other than Warren Farrell himself, in the pages of his book Women Can’t Hear What Men Don’t Say (which amazingly does not have the subtitle “But It’s Not Like Angry Dudes On The Internet Are Going to Shut Up Any Time Soon”).

Here’s how old Warren explains it, perhaps exaggerating the innocence of the wily female Repair-Friend Zoners:

Single moms who rely on male friends for repairs — “he’s just a repair friend” — are often unaware that the man really isn’t sacrificing his Sunday afternoon in exchange for a Sunday night dinner. The truth is, if he’s making that type of sacrifice, it’s usually because he’s interested in her.

That’s right, ladies! Men never actually want to be just friends with you. Never. And when they act friendly, it’s just because they want to [insert weird creepy Warren Farrellesque euphemism for sex here]. Only instead of making a move on you they’d rather make a move on your car, and just sort of hope you’ll get the hint.

I’ve seen many single moms who have men who they claim are “just friends” work on their cars, do repairs, help them move. They think nothing of it. (Which says it all.) When she starts dating someone seriously, the “repair friend” feels hurt and her new boyfriend feels suspicious. And Mom feels caught between a rock and a hard place, so to speak.

Is Farrell making some sort of awkward boner joke here?

Anyway, for Farrell, this is somehow all the fault of women, and feminism, or misandry, or something.

This attitude rests on a deeper foundation. Just as women who are poor turn to the government as a substitute husband (in the form of welfare and AFDC payments), so women without husbands often unconsciously turn to substitute husbands, such as dads, “repair friends,”and male neighbors.

So, fellas, be careful out there. One moment you’ll be chatting casually over the fence with the former Mrs. Jones, and the next thing you know you’ll be in her basement buried deep in her washing machine trying to fix, I dunno, whatever is inside of washing machines that might need fixing, I’m not really very mechanical.

Come to think of it a female friend of mine had me change a light bulb the other day that she couldn’t reach. Granted, I don’t want to have sex with her, and also she’s fixed my bike on several occasions and sometimes brings me cake, but, still, I think I may have just been Light Bulb Friend Zoned.

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CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

Right now I feel like he’s that one shitty song that every radio station is playing every 10 minutes because payola is still a thing.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

Vegan tuna? Confused as to how this could be a thing.

Aaliyah
9 years ago

Feminist Lies. In the MRM it is very well known, and accepted, that women are looks-focused. Attempts to deny this are bald-faced lies, because is the fulcrum upon which the “carousel” and “hypergamy” tropes operate.

Fulcrum? Are you fucking kidding me?

What’s with MRAs and their horrible pretentiousness?

Also, fuck off you misogynistic dipshit. Your claim for your support for equality is a lie.

cloudiah
9 years ago

It just tastes vaguely like tuna salad. Take about a cup of cooked chickpeas and mash them up, add chopped red onion or scallions, parsley, capers, and mix with a little vegan mayo and lemon juice to taste. Surprisingly tasty. YMMV.

Marie
Marie
9 years ago

@cloudiah

That does sound nice. I’d check out the recipe if you want to post it 🙂

Kittehserf
9 years ago

That reminds me, I’ve a tin of four-bean mix and a tin of tuna in the cupboard. I really should boil up some pasta and mix ’em up.

::drools::

thebionicmommy
thebionicmommy
9 years ago

I mean if anyone feels like another ride on the creaky old horse would be fun then go for it? I’m just really bored with this particular brand of trolling.

I like this troll! Can we keep him? Please, I promise to clean up after him. I’ll never ask for anything again, I promise.

Mr. Feminist Horseshit, can you please enlighten us about this cock carousel? I’ve never seen such a ride, not even at Silver Dollar City.

Kittehserf
9 years ago

Mr. Feminist Horseshit, can you please enlighten us about this cock carousel? I’ve never seen such a ride, not even at Silver Dollar City.

Didn’t they replace it with the Alpha Cock Rollercoaster?

hellkell
hellkell
9 years ago

I like the Alpha Cock Teacups.

Kittehserf
9 years ago

Alpha Cock Teacups should totally be a thing.

… I now have an itch to do a pic of Sir drinking from one.

thebionicmommy
thebionicmommy
9 years ago

Is the alpha cock roller coaster also called the roller coaster of love? Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

thebionicmommy
thebionicmommy
9 years ago

You give me that funny feeling in my tummy.

Kittehserf
9 years ago

Yes! Because love’s one of those four-letter words that MRAs get frothy about despite having NO idea what it means.

Kittehserf
9 years ago

Yummy, yummy, yummy, I’ve got love in my tummy

katz
9 years ago

But some of my friends sure did. We would have all watched it as young children (it came out when I was 7) and I remember discussing it with some friends when we were 13 or so. General conclusion, from the boys and the girls, was that Esmerelda wasn’t very nice to reject Quasimodo and that it was, in fact, very shallow to choose the more handsome man. I seem to also remember something about how of course she was shallow, because she was beautiful, and beautiful women never learn compassion because everyone worships them and they just lap it up. Or something. I’m probably not relaying the details perfectly from this conversation more than a decade ago XD. But it’s interesting how young we are when we internalize these toxic messages about men and women.

I reacted similarly, but I put the blame not on Esmerelda as a character, but on Disney: Every other guy is handsome and gets rewarded with a girlfriend; Quasimodo is ugly, so he doesn’t get one. Because, setting aside the gender aspect, there is an undertone of “people should love you for who you are and not for how you look, but they shouldn’t, like, kiss you, because you’re a hideous hunchback and ew.”

Tracy
Tracy
9 years ago

Busband goes over to fix things for our elderly neighbour all the time. Does that mean he wants to get with her, and the only reason he hasn’t is b/c she repair-friendzoned him? Come to think of it… I do stuff for her too. Holy crap, have I been repair-friendzoned? Why won’t my elderly neighbour sleep with me already? That’s it, I’m not letting her borrow my shopping buggy ANYMORE.

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