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Heartiste: Chris Brown is a great role model for wannabe alpha males

Chris Brown, who’s convinced that he’s apologized enough for what he calls his “mishap.”

Over on his little chateau, otherwise known as a blog, the pick-up Heartiste Formerly Known as Roissy suggests a rather unusual role model for young and not-so-young men hoping to impress women with their alphaness: Chris Brown. Not for being a charismatic singer, but for that time he nearly beat Rihanna to death.

Oh, you don’t have to literally beat up women to be an alpha. Just work on making them uncomfortable and insecure.

Maxim #19: Making a woman feel a little emotional pain will reward you a thousandfold in returned physical pleasure.

You don’t have to be fists-of-fury Chris Brown to pick up a Rihanna and make her fall in deep, profound love with you, but don’t let the lesson of their relationship be lost on you. If you are a beta male — and odds are you are — you can superglue your relationship bond by instilling in your woman a calculated level of discomfort and insecurity. You won’t feel bad about this, because you will know that the discomfort you create is subconsciously DESIRED by your girl. Despite her outward appearance of frustration and timorous appeasement, you will know that inside, she is lit up like a vagina tree, with a squirting orgasm shooting out of the star on top.

In addition to everything else that is horribly wrong with this quote, let me just say that “lit up like a vagina tree” is not a phrase that I hope works its way into the vernacular.

So far, so good.

 

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often_partisan
often_partisan
9 years ago

Most people root out corruption in their governments? Really? That also assumes that people who root out corruption get accolades. You should look up some of the stuff that’s happened to say, whistleblowers in the NHS (try Private Eye) a lot of them did not get accolades, they put their jobs on the line, got ignored, harassed, etc. Seems like a lot of effort for Homo Economicus to go to. Why not just turn a blind eye?

hellkell
hellkell
9 years ago

Oh, god, can we not give this pathetic manchild any more airtime? Randroids are the fucking worst.

Sharculese
9 years ago

@hellkell

that’s what i said at first too but i underestimated mikey’s ability to be comically inept on such a wide range of topics

Steele
Steele
9 years ago

I spit out the words that have been put into my mouth.

The Social Contract is not a diagnostic of how the state was formed, obviously; it is a prescription as to how it should be. That is, a community does benefit from a governing body – and in the perfected Contract, democracy, one that the people elect and have the ability to remove, but in the meantime trust to administer the kingdom.

Anarcho-communism is nothing but a ridiculous pipe dream that completely ignores world history, sociology, psychology, economics, and basic human nature. It takes quite the jester’s fool to ignore all that, I would say.

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
9 years ago

@ hellkell – Not yet. I’d like to see how he reconciles the fact that he’s been presented with an entire political viewpoint with which he was unfamiliar, and his insistence that anti-Randroid arguments are all old hat to him.

hellkell
hellkell
9 years ago

Spit all you want, Steele. You’re pig-ignorant.

hellkell
hellkell
9 years ago

OK, guys, but it’s gonna get tedious in a hurry.

ozymandias42
9 years ago

Jester’s Fool would be a cool nym.

I remain confused why, if we’re making a Social Contract, we cannot Socially Contract for free health care and maybe a guaranteed minimum income. Why is Objectivism the conclusion here?

Monsieur sans Nom
Monsieur sans Nom
9 years ago

Anarcho-communism is nothing but a ridiculous pipe dream that completely ignores world history, sociology, psychology, economics, and basic human nature. It takes quite the jester’s fool to ignore all that, I would say.

A-MEN!

In fact, anarchism itself is a very unpleasant way to live. If you disagree, then be my guest and move to Somalia! 😉

BTW BlackBloc, are you an anarchist? Or in favor of the abrogation of a central authority? Even if you are, I hope someday you realize that Governments were imposed upon the masses for the masses own good.

Sharculese
9 years ago

I spit out the words that have been put into my mouth.

we know dude. again, we don’t get why youre bragging about being a gullible stooge.

Anarcho-communism is nothing but a ridiculous pipe dream that completely ignores world history, sociology, psychology, economics, and basic human nature. It takes quite the jester’s fool to ignore all that, I would say.

do you know how long lazy pseudo-intellectuals have been stammering b-b-but human nature! in response to any theory they personally find icky? why do you think it’s different when you do it?

Steele
Steele
9 years ago

Powerful governments are corrupt by necessity. It is power that corrupts it.

To an extent; although it can be minimized – and these governments govern the most prosperous nations today.

Most people root out corruption in their governments? Really? That also assumes that people who root out corruption get accolades. You should look up some of the stuff that’s happened to say, whistleblowers in the NHS (try Private Eye) a lot of them did not get accolades, they put their jobs on the line, got ignored, harassed, etc. Seems like a lot of effort for Homo Economicus to go to. Why not just turn a blind eye?

Certainly, some whistleblowers act of their own accord; people aren’t robots and can act unpredictably; however, I concern myself with larger patterns. In addition, relativistic morals (designed to accomodate the System) come into play.

Sharculese
9 years ago

however, I concern myself with larger patterns.

translation: i don’t have to deal with counterexamples because um… something something

Myoo
Myoo
9 years ago

Of course corruption can and does occur within the body politik; however, the rest of us are motivated to root it out because it is in our own interest to do so; therefore, a powerful government with minimal corruption is a hallmark of a prosperous people.

Certainly and excuse me, but most people do. That is why we have a government. Why do government officials do it? Well, it’s an extension of their job, and the better they perform their job, the more recognition and accolades they will receive.

Government officials are elected for a short period of time and often have very short term goals. Let’s say, for example, that government officials put into action a long term plan to root out corruption and it takes several years to complete said plan, in all likelihood there will be new government officials in place when the plan is completed, and these officials will then receive most, if not all, of the accolades.

If people are selfish and want to receive accolades, it’s easier to hide corruption and pretend you had nothing to do with it if and when it gets found out.

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
9 years ago

Ah. MSN, Steele. Steele, MSN. Steele is a Randroid. MSN, if memory serves, is a Stalinist.

And…. FIGHT!

Sharculese
9 years ago

OK, guys, but it’s gonna get tedious in a hurry.

that’s a possibility, but if there’s a chance we can make him meltdown again, then it’s worth the risk

Steele
Steele
9 years ago

I remain confused why, if we’re making a Social Contract, we cannot Socially Contract for free health care and maybe a guaranteed minimum income.

Indeed, you can, and clearly many people are. Others are working against them. This is how the Contract is supposed to work – negotiation amongst the people.

ozymandias42
9 years ago

MSN: Serious anarchist theory is *nothing* like “woo guys Somalia is great.” Please read some of it before you speculate further.

Also, government was not imposed on the masses for their own good. It was imposed on them for the imposers’ own good. That it has managed to benefit the masses is a happy side effect, and the result of literally centuries of work.

FUCK. I am not an anarchist. I disagree STRONGLY with anarchism. STOP MAKING ME DEFEND PEOPLE I DISAGREE WITH.

Steele: …Are you seriously arguing there’s minimal corruption in, say, the modern American government?

The fuck is “relativistic morals”? Do they get faster at the speed of light.

Monsieur sans Nom
Monsieur sans Nom
9 years ago

Oh, hi Mr. Steelepole, well anarcho-communism works because the central tenets of communism hold that the state is in fact the highest form of opression, and argues that it is merely an upper class.

Where and when does(or did)it work?

Steele
Steele
9 years ago

If people are selfish and want to receive accolades, it’s easier to hide corruption and pretend you had nothing to do with it if and when it gets found out.

Certainly, this happens sometimes. No government is perfect. Your point?

Monsieur sans Nom
Monsieur sans Nom
9 years ago

MSN: Serious anarchist theory is *nothing* like “woo guys Somalia is great.” Please read some of it before you speculate further.

I’m uninterested in anarchist theory. Just show me where it works out and isn’t plagued by perpetual tribal warfare.

BlackBloc (@XBlackBlocX)

>>>The Social Contract is not a diagnostic of how the state was formed, obviously; it is a prescription as to how it should be.

Human beings *should* be able to flap their arms and fly, but alas…

Governments are formed in historical processes, not in some fucking think tank in the sky. You utopian. Any government formed from modern states is by definition the creation of thievery on a large scale. Capitalism was born in the blood of workers who were dispossessed of their land via the Enclosure Act, forced *by law* to beg for jobs at factories, then exploited until they died without leaving any form of inheritance to their working class sons and daughters. It was born in slavery, when corporations bought Africans and sold them to plantation owners in the South, resulting in a permanent underclass in America. You can’t just decide to bring some stupid ‘free market’ ideology via the law and then go “and now you’re FREE!” as though people didn’t already have 300 years of bullshit and oppression on their shoulders while a few fortunate ones have acquired 90% of the wealth.

Steele
Steele
9 years ago

To clarify: Of course corruption exists, and will always exist – and this is because people are selfish. But what makes you think that this will be any different under an anarchist system? All that changes is that there are fewer checks on bad behavior – without an authority to punish them.

ozymandias42
9 years ago

Dude, MSN, you’re a Stalinist. The only time your political philosophy was tried it led to one of the greatest atrocities of the 20th century.

scrapemind
9 years ago

The Social Contract is a bunch of hooey. Government came about because God gave our father Adam dominion over the Earth and our kings inherited their authority from Adam through their fathers (hence patriarchy).

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
9 years ago

@ Steele “Certainly, this happens sometimes. No government is perfect. Your point?”

The point, dumbass, is the same point as is made against every stupid “It is in the interest of people to do x so they will do x” argument. Namely, it hides the important distinction between “it is in my interest for x to occur” with “it is so greatly in my interest for x to occur that I am personally willing to incur the opportunity costs of doing x that I will do x, rather than just hoping someone else will do it”.

It’s the central flaw in every theory based on the individual as ‘rational actor’, and it’s only ever dealt with by hand-waving it away.

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