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antifeminism douchebaggery evil women homophobia idiocy kitties misogyny MRA reddit

Lesbianism by numbers, courtesy of the Men’s Rights subreddit. Plus kitties.

They're probably feminists too.

The smirky MRA douchebag thingsarebad didn’t win a lot of friends when he used to comment here. Ironically, it seems that he’s not doing that much better over on Reddit’s Men’s Rights subreddit, where his comments tend to garner about as many downvotes as upvotes. Yes, it is possible to be too much of a douche for even the highly douche-tolerant Men’s Rights subreddit.

Anyway, all that is a sort of rambling prelude to my main point here, which is: thingsarebad has figured out that whole “lesbian” thing, and wants to share his results with the world. Also, feminism. His science is tight.

Confused a bit by that explanation? Would you like a much, much longer explanation, replete with fake statistics he’s “mentated” out of his ass? Well, prepare yourself a stiff drink and take a look at this megacomment of his from earlier in that same thread.

We’ll just wait here while you digest all that.

Done? Share your thoughts below, or check out the ShitRedditSays discussion of it all.

Or just watch this video of a rather portly cat climbing into a vase.

Hey, I promised a kitty video to someone in the comments here a couple of days ago. I may be a little slow sometimes, but I am a man of my word.

While I’m at it, here’s a bonus vid of a kitty and a Kleenex box.

 

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Bostonian
10 years ago

He should have posted a picture of himself. That always wins all the arguments.

Little Mousling (@LittleMousling)

Group D: 0%. There are basically no women who are naturally feminine and would have ended up gay no matter what. Naturally feminine women only become gay due to outside factors (see Groups B & C).

Wow, this guy is just a real winner.

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

There is not a drink stiff enough to get through all that drivel. At least he admits he’s not a good communicator. I wonder exactly how far up his ass he had to reach for this “theory.”

Bostonian, he’ll probably stop here and drop a pic, just because.

Little Mousling (@LittleMousling)

I do kind of love the people who are coming in and being like “uh, so there’s this thing called socialization? And fitting in with a group? And flagging?” Like, not in so many words exactly, but they’re definitely trying to point out to him that there are social reasons why “naturally feminine” (ugh, gag me with a spoon) lesbians might adopt masculine behaviours/style, and why “naturally masculine” gay men might adopt feminine behaviours/style.

Somehow I’m guessing he’d rather stick to his imaginary paper-doll queers than listen to reason, though. NGL, makes me want to put on a frilly dress. STILL A DYKE, JACKASS.

Bedelia Bloodyknuckle
10 years ago

uuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmm what?

mythago
10 years ago

It’s like just this side of word salad.

Bethany Spencer (@vacuumslayer)

Lesbianism by Numbers: Funnest paint-by-numbers EVAR!

Bethany Spencer (@vacuumslayer)

Somehow I’m guessing he’d rather stick to his imaginary paper-doll queers than listen to reason, though. NGL, makes me want to put on a frilly dress. STILL A DYKE, JACKASS.

Nope. Boys do this. Girls do that. NEVER THE TWAIN SHALL MEET. I have assembled roughly a third of the furniture in the house. I purchase and set up all the computers and peripherals. Apparently this makes me a lesbian. My husband–and all the dudes I’ve macked on over the years–will be shocked to learn this.

filetofswedishfish
10 years ago

Where can I get this Lesbian Paint-by-numbers book? I will pay you two whole internets for it.

Wetherby
Wetherby
10 years ago

This bit is incomparably glorious:

4) Admittedly, I understand the nature of homosexual and bisexual men quite well, I understand the nature of women in general quite well, but I’m not an expert on homosexual and bisexual women specifically. Though really, women are women; they’re not as complex as men.

Improbable Joe
Improbable Joe
10 years ago

Bethany, you were a lesbian when you failed at Vacuum Arts 101. And since I actually BOUGHT the Dyson on top of being its main user, I guess I’m gay now. As a matter of fact, I think you stole my straight maleness and replaced it with your woman-icitude. Can we swap back so that you can stay with your husband and I can stay with my wife?

I’ll sweeten the deal by throwing is some random percentages I pulled out of my ass… 30% of the 2% of men who are MRAs are also closeted gay men, and 110% of MRAs are uncloseted assholes.

ozymandias42
10 years ago

Neither my girlfriend nor I exist, because of course someone can’t be bisexual, masculine and female-assigned.

Also, all bisexuals apparently were molested as children, hate men or are borderline or narcissistic? Someone is bitter they won’t have a threesome with him.

Lauralot
Lauralot
10 years ago

Given this guy’s masterful understanding of women, I’m assuming he thought he’d been fine pulling statistics out of his ass because those stupid feminists can’t do math.

Lauralot
Lauralot
10 years ago

^Be fine, I mean. Why is it that I can type perfectly when I’m not using that typing to communicate with others?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
10 years ago

Since as a bisexual I don’t exist, doesn’t that in theory make me the perfect spy/criminal/ninja? Think of all the things I can get away with, as a femmey non-straight woman who also fucks other women. All I have to do is don my queer femme invisibility cloak and I’m good to go.

Side note – the bass player of one of my favorite bands owns 3 Dysons, and he’s the one who uses them (sometimes at 3 am, because he just can’t stand the thought of all those germs lying around un-vacuumed). Does this mean that he is a. kind of OCD, or b. gay, or c. actually a woman? Please enlighten us, MRM.

ozymandias42
10 years ago

Oh, no, Cassandra, you definitely EXIST. You just hate men or are a survivor of child abuse or have mental illnesses!

Improbable Joe
Improbable Joe
10 years ago

This is one of those times where I like to take my reactions out and look at them, and try to compare them to the reactions of other people.

Ozy, let’s pretend this is a block quote, ok?:

“Neither my girlfriend nor I exist, because of course someone can’t be bisexual, masculine and female-assigned.”

OK, not that we’re past that technical hurdle… I guess you can be “bisexual, masculine and female-assigned.” I can’t wrap my brain around it though. Just cannot. Heck, I had to look up “female-assigned” to make sure what it meant. Don’t really care though, in probably more or less the same intensity that you don’t care about how I react to your gig, and in probably the same way that you’d care about whatever my deal is. Probably never going to meet each other in real life, almost certainly wouldn’t be in a situation where connecting bits to other bits would come up, which means that none of these things matter in a practical sense.

So then we come to the reaction you describe, “all bisexuals apparently were molested as children, hate men or are borderline or narcissistic?” WTF?!?! Really? That’s not like my reaction at all! I’m feeling pretty sure that those sorts of comments are projections from the minds of the people saying them. The sane and rational reaction to consensual sexual and gender… stuffs?… among competent adults should range more or less from “Yum, sign me up!” to “meh, not my thing” and then possibly “EWWWWW!!!” The rest of the reactions are less sane and rational, and more indicative of unresolved internal conflicts and/or character flaws.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
10 years ago

You have to wonder if his theories are based on once asking a bisexual woman why she would want to sleep with women even though she likes cock, late at night in a bar when everyone was very drunk, and the exasperated woman replied “YOU. You are why”.

I actually met one of my dearest friends that way, kind of. I was being backed into a corner in a club by a pushy asshole and she ducked under his arm, wrapped her arm around my neck, gave me a kiss, turned to him, and said “We are lesbians, go away”. So maybe she and I are actually responsible for this whole mess, since I’m sure he must have seen both of us fooling around with men too at some point.

Improbable Joe
Improbable Joe
10 years ago

Oh, and BTW and somewhat off-topic, but that fucking Dyson is an engineering marvel. I want to hug it sometimes, it is so damned awesome. If my wife weren’t napping I’d probably crank her up and spin her around the downstairs real quick-like. I had a couple of somewhat cheaper vacuums, and they were crushed by the weight of the work… three cats and a dog that shed like crazy, plus my innate need to try to use the vacuum to clean up bigger jobs than it is really suited for.

The Dyson? That thing can vacuum up socks and small shop rags. Love love LOVE my Dyson, one of the best investments I’ve ever made.

Wetherby
Wetherby
10 years ago

Yes, it must be confusing if half (or most, or even all) of the lesbians he’s met aren’t real lesbians but merely pretending in order to avoid spending more than thirty seconds talking to him.

It would play havoc with his statistics, too.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
10 years ago

I think I may need a Dyson soon. My new cat has really long hair, and when she sheds and the vacuum sucks it up it creates these weird wool-like clumps. And then the vaccum makes a horrible grinding/gurgling noise and stops, and I have to fish out the clumps before it will work again. It’s kind of annoying.

Clearly I fail at the vacuum arts. If I was just straight, and loved men more, the cat hair clumps would simply dissolve in a cloud of pretty pink sparkles.

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

We were at Best Buy last weekend and almost walked out with the Dyson broom. We don’t have carpets, so the broom would be a big help in sucking up the ginormous cat hair tumbleweeds. Maybe for Christmas.

Cassandra, pretty pink sparkles would more of a pain in the ass to suck up than cat hair!

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
10 years ago

Glitter – the herpes of the craft world. It’s worse than sand.

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

I don’t even like makeup with glitter in it. Gets everywhere, and just when you think it’s off…

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
10 years ago

The last time I tried to wear glitter eyeshadow I was finding bits of it in clothes I hadn’t even worn while wearing it weeks later. Never again.

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