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Telling us to express our feelings makes us SO MAD! Ironic MRA meme of the week, part 9702

Don't tell ME to express my feelings! RAAAAAARRGHHHH!!1!!
Don’t tell ME to express my feelings! RAAAAAARRGHHHH!!1!!

Above, the unintentionally ironic MRA meme of the week, courtesy of A Voice for Men’s Facebook page, their main distribution center for unintentionally ironic and otherwise terrible memes.  I’m not sure what specific week this is the ironic meme for, given that Emma Watson’s speech to the UN took place last September and this meme was posted on Facebook only this week, but just roll with it, people!

So what exactly makes this meme ironic? Well, for starters, Watson didn’t actually say the words in question or otherwise order men to talk to women about their feelings.

What she said was a good deal more subtle. She started by saying that one of the things that led her to embrace feminism was her realization, at age 18, that “my male friends were unable to express their feelings.” Then she went on to talk in more detail about the ways breaking down gender stereotypes helps to free, well, everyone.

We don’t often talk about men being imprisoned by gender stereotypes but I can see that they are and that when they are free, things will change for women as a natural consequence.

If men don’t have to be aggressive in order to be accepted women won’t feel compelled to be submissive. If men don’t have to control, women won’t have to be controlled.

Both men and women should feel free to be sensitive. Both men and women should feel free to be strong… It is time that we all perceive gender on a spectrum not as two opposing sets of ideals.

If we stop defining each other by what we are not and start defining ourselves by what we are—we can all be freer and this is what HeForShe is about. It’s about freedom. 

The big irony here? This is exactly what a real Men’s Rights movement should be promoting, not raging against.

Adding to the irony, whoever made this meme made clear that they aren’t just unwilling to listen to women’s feelings; they’re unwilling to listen to a woman’s logical argument. Which is why they simplified her comments and distorted their meaning.

But what wins this meme the grand prize for irony this week is meme maker’s assertion that “WE DON’T NEED OR WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT OUR FEELINGS.”

Really? Because in fact MRA dudes and MGTOWs and the rest of their ilk talk about their feelings constantly, and loudly — with anyone willing to listen and some who aren’t.

Sure, it’s true that most MRA dudes and their ideological soulmates don’t like to talk about their feelings of sadness or anxiety or insecurity or doubt. You know, the sorts of feelings it would be good for most of these guys to explore and understand and, when possible, get past.

But they love, just love, to talk about how angry they are, how angry they think other men are, and how much feminists, and the women of the world generally, are going to suffer if they refuse to listen to angry men and do what they say. Hell, the so-called “father” of Men’s Rights in the UK? A guy who calls himself Angry Harry. (And he more than lives up to the name.)

The cherry on top of this Irony Sundae: the memester’s decision to use a picture of a homeless man to represent a man oppressed by demanding women.

Men don’t become homeless because some evil woman asked them to talk about their feelings. Indeed, given how many homeless people are mentally ill, most homeless men (and women) would benefit from having the opportunity to talk to a trained professional about their feelings and from better mental health services generally. (Not to mention better services for veterans suffering from PTSD and other war-related maladies.)

In the US, many homeless people who are mentally ill were dumped onto the streets by facilities that didn’t have the money to properly care for them; some of the facilities were and are so bad that their former inhabitants actually prefer the streets.

Oh, and one of the main reasons mental health services are so shitty in the US — and why, in particular, so many men are so poorly served? The old-fashioned notion that men “DON’T NEED OR WANT TO TALK … ABOUT OUR FEELINGS.”

So I award AVFM this week’s IRONY AWARD in MEMING, for once again promoting ideas that actually make the world worse for men!

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weirwoodtreehugger
10 years ago

Besides, humanism is already a thing. It can’t be another word for feminism because it’s already taken.

Lea
Lea
10 years ago

Hugs to all who want them.

DJG
DJG
10 years ago

It does rather creep me out a little to see those who greatly resemble the people who contributed greatly to my suicide attempt trying to use male suicide to score points off the other side. Really, #notyoursword and then some.

I’m going to guess that the original framing is that it looks, putting oneself into their heads, a little like a trap. If women help to make it acceptable for men to reveal and discuss their emotions, then the women who did so will require them to express only female-approved emotions as their due compensation. It’s the sort of thing they’d expect if they contributed to the fixing of a problem facing women.

Perhaps their role model is Richard Bucket from Keeping Up Appearances. Indeed, they could probably have done a good deal better using the scene in which Hyacinth tries to get Richard to discuss how he’s feeling about having to take early retirement, interrupts him before he finishes the first sentence, and then asks him if he doesn’t feel better now that they’ve talked it all out before he’s even started. A lot of MRAs do seem to think that All Women Are Like Hyacinth, even though I’ve never heard any of them mention her.

Fruitloopsie
Fruitloopsie
10 years ago

Moocow
“BTW Fruitloopsie your avatar is awesome! I love Fantasia!”

Thanks! Me too!

Binjabreel
10 years ago

Thanks for the hugs, though at this point I’m in a pretty damn good place in my life.

My Kerbals, on the other hand, are in a terrible place. But hopefully the rescue rocket arrives at Eve without further incident.

dudeinthewoods
dudeinthewoods
10 years ago

Thanks for the well wishes everyone. Hope your Kerbals make it back Binjabreel, I wound up doing unmanned stuff cause I felt bad about losing so many Kerbals.

Lisa
Lisa
10 years ago

My ‘humanism’ comment was only meant in the most positive way and most definitely not some sort of attack on ‘feminism’.

Just trying to think of some way to kill those ‘MRA”, ‘redpills’,’blue piills, ‘MGTW’ terms and bring more of those men aboard to the idea of ‘it really is a win-win sitiuation here folks’…… The more recognition, respect and equal rights we all have and share between us…the better off we all will be.

Feminism is a powerful term with a wonderful history and great meanings.

What do men have? It is pretty sad. MGTOW sounds like a 5 year old kid walking away because they don’t want to play any longer. ‘Pills’…WTF…..come on…sounds like a bunch of junkies. ‘MRA’ …far too agressive and non inclusive, far too close to ‘guns rights’ people.
‘Menism’ just doesn’t work. Men Caring About Men;, they won’t accept it because sounds too gay.

So I don’t know, there is nothing unifying that says: ‘we don’t believe in the win-lose situation, but there are some special issues for cis-males that need to be looked at in the light of a better and fairer society for all’.

Toxic masculinity training by society for one, I’d love to hear more men questoning why it was ok to for their parents, teachers, etc to bring them up as thugs, patted on the back at every point for being ‘thuggish’. or even worse, stand back and let those (even their own) who don’t conform to that being bullied (‘make men out of them’).

Being transgender I am so very aware of how much more socially acceptable it is to be a ‘thug’ as a man, play with dolls …dragged off to the doctor/psych real fast to be ‘cured’ …be a ‘thug’ get a pat on the back.

Heck, toxic masculinity even impacts some of the Queer, Transmen, Gay and Lesban communities, it is so pernicious that this is a positive trait for some males or even ‘butch’ identifying females.

Fabe
Fabe
10 years ago

Thanks for the hugs, though at this point I’m in a pretty damn good place in my life.

My Kerbals, on the other hand, are in a terrible place. But hopefully the rescue rocket arrives at Eve without further incident.

Well at least you’re able to get you rockets somewhere. I can’t even get a rocket into orbit.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
10 years ago

Well at least you’re able to get you rockets somewhere. I can’t even get a rocket into orbit.

Start by going straight up. When you’re at 10km altitude, do a 45 degree turn (that is, turn until the trackball is pointing at the 45 degree point.) Now zoom out to the planet view so you can see your course as a parabola. If you mouse over the top of that course, it’ll show you what the maximum altitude is. Keep on the 45 degree course until your maximum altitude hits 70km. Then kill your engines and drift.

Once you’re coming up to the 70km maximum altitude) point the ship so that the nose is pointing exactly in the direction of flight (that is, exactly at the little green marker on the trackball) and burn. If you zoom out to the planet view, you can now see your course change. While you won’t be going any higher, you’ll have a more circular course and will splash down further from your launch site. Eventually, you’ll find that the course becomes entirely circular as your periapsis rises above the surface.

Once the periapsis and apoapsis are both above 70km, you’re in orbit. Enjoy! Let’s hope you left enough fuel to get back down.

Fabe
Fabe
10 years ago

Oh I know all about that. Its I just can’t even build a decent enough rocket . they all seem to tumble out of control or I run out of fuel before I can get to orbit or I over shoot the mark. Thanks for the help though,thats one thing I really like about the Kerbel space program community,ever ones is always willing to help out.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
10 years ago

@Fabe

Here’s a vid. Cry made it to the Mun his first time just sticking shit on other shit:

Maybe it’ll help?

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
10 years ago

He’s starting in sandbox mode though. Playing in career mode gives you a lot fewer components at any one time. I’d almost recommend not starting in sandbox mode – there’s too many components unlocked and it can be daunting. It introduces them a few at a time and lets you get used to them.

For a very first go, tumbling out of control can be avoided by building it entirely spaghetti-staged (that is, making sure it’s just a single vertical column with nothing attached on the sides) and flown by a Pilot. You want plenty of fuel – go for about 95% of total mass being fuel. You can do it with less but it’s difficult.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
10 years ago

And yeah, the community is really friendly. It’s awesome.

Fabe
Fabe
10 years ago

I also only have the demo so that limits me in what parts I have access to.I might give it another try after dinner and see what happens.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
10 years ago

@EJ

Ah, okay, I wouldn’t know because I don’t have the game. I thought I’d be helpful anyway.

It seems like what you Cry did, though. He made a long cylinder with three big tanks of fuel, so there’s that?

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
10 years ago

@Jackie:

Cry is lifting too much weight and compensating by using too much fuel. That’s not a problem – all that matters is the ratio between the two – but he’s doing it the hard way.

Try the following, where lines of hyphens are dissemblers:
CAPSULE
————-
FUEL
ENGINE
———–
FUEL
FUEL
ENGINE
———–
SOLID FUEL BOOSTER

@Fabe:
If you really need guidance, let me know. If all else fails I can give you my skype details and walk you through it manually.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
10 years ago

@EJ

I was thinking more about the shape of the rocket and how he’s piloting gathering than building it since you said there’s parts being used that aren’t used in career mode.

brooked
10 years ago

What the hell? Instead of endlessly discussing hateful misogyny, posters in every thread are going on and on about video games. That’s…

probably not a bad idea, now that I think about it.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
10 years ago

@brooked

There’s no trolls to mock in some threads, why not video games?

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
10 years ago

Speaking of videogames, so happy Hearthstone is getting new heroes. I want an undead lock.

Paul
Paul
3 years ago

Lol what a bunch of misandry.

“If men don’t have to be aggressive in order to be accepted women won’t feel compelled to be submissive. If men don’t have to control, women won’t have to be controlled.”

This is false. Men are never asked to be aggressive or control women. This is a feminist lie to demonize masculinity.

“this is what HeForShe is about. It’s about freedom. ”

Where is sheforhe ? Where are thr movement to teach women to care about men and boys and help them ? But men need to help women and girls ? And this go through men having to understand that they are evil being who need to be taught how to behave properly ?

“Men can’t talk about their emotions ” is just a scapegoat that feminists have found to blame men and boys for their issues and pathologize masculinity itself. No male mental health issues are not remontly affected by “not crying” when compared to misandry and male issues : rough sleeping, justice system, father’s rights, divorce, domestic and sexual abuse from women, etc.

“Men can’t talk about their emotions” is just ignoring why they do not : because at best people ignore them, at worst they shame and attack them for it. Mostly mothers, sisters and wives.

The fact that she ignores everything and only can say “meuh men cannot cry” show how much she is ignorant or how much of a misandrist she is.

Want to really help men ? Make sheforhe: teach women to not rape and abuse men and boys. Teach women to stop using men as cash cow and start taking half of the financial responsibilities. Teach women to stop using their man’s life as a shield in case of danger and expecting him to sacrifice himself for them. Teach women to not use men’s trauma and emotions against them. Teach them to not take a man’s children away from him or to ruin him during divorces.

Want to help men ? Address the systemic misandry in our justice system, government and education system. Open shelters and services for male victims, that really help and not tell them that their issue is their masculinity. Fight for female rapists and abusers to be held accountable. Fight for shared custody. Fight for a less misandrist family court.

There was nothing subtile in Watson’s speech. She reduce men’s issues as men not crying or talking about their emotions. Then she makes it into “women most affected” and “men. Are dangerous evils” because men not talking about their emotions is caused by the same thing that cause to be evil rapists and abusers. The solution she proposes is teaching men to care about female issues and educate them out of their evil state (partially by making them talk about their emotions I presume) !

You all would have understood the meaning of this meme as any MRAs could. But you can’t since you live in the imaginary world, “Patriarchy”, where men are responsible for everyone’s issues and even male issues which can be summed up as “Men don’t talk about their emotions ! What a bunch of idiots, time to educate them since those idiots hurt women in the process !”

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