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The top 10 shocking “truths” about feminism I’ve learned from #HowToSpotAFeminist

 May 6, 2015
  · 130 Comments
That is a lot of tweeting.

That is a lot of tweeting.

So have you been following this whole #HowToSpotAFeminist thing on the Tweeter? The hashtag was started a couple of days ago by some right-wing radio dudes as an excuse to say mean things about feminism. By yesterday it had turned into a monster, with some feminists jumping in to try to combat the forces of darkness; as I write this at 7:28 AM Wednesday it’s still going strong.

Happily, the hashtag is proving to be very educational. So I would like to share with you The top 10 shocking “truths” about feminism I’ve learned from #HowToSpotAFeminist. You may want to take notes, as some of them are truly shocking indeed.

1) Feminists are fat and ugly with stinky, hairy armpits and no one likes them

#HowToSpotAFeminist – Usually fat & ugly, always inherently unlikeable, supremely hypocritical, snarky, annoying, deluded, intransigent.

— Paul Joseph Watson (@PrisonPlanet) May 5, 2015

#HowToSpotAFeminist Overweight hairy ugly smelly sack of shit

— TechEFX (@TechEFX) May 5, 2015

https://twitter.com/Sgt_Bravo/status/595770240291733506

#HowToSpotAFeminist find an ugly, stupid, hairy, fat girl who talks too much and doesn't wear enough makeup to cover her ugly face

— orz (@rozrabbani) May 5, 2015

https://twitter.com/SaltyCon/status/595698771264217090

#HowToSpotAFeminist Boobs hanging to her waist, ugly as sin, manners of a pig, hasn't had a date in 25 years, Pro-choice, Anti-Death Penalty

— gardenofthegodsن (@gardenofthegods) May 6, 2015

https://twitter.com/Mikkjr/status/595777294377078784

#HowToSpotAFeminist Hasnt shaved in months, smells nasty and is usually fat & ugly.

— Indian Meninist (@IndianMeninist) May 5, 2015

https://twitter.com/Hello_Meow/status/595793317100658688

Ugly. Has sex for validation rather than pleasure. Broken inside. Cries at night. Can't get any of the men they want. #HowToSpotAFeminist

— Jeremy Steyer (@JeremySteyer) May 6, 2015

#HowToSpotAFeminist You dont usually spot them first, you will usually smell them coming.

— Zooperduper (@ZooperDuper) May 6, 2015

#HowToSpotAFeminist that unmistakeable gamey smell of pumpkin spice and untrimmed armpit hair b.o.

— The Duck (@jokeocracy) May 5, 2015

#HowToSpotAFeminist look for the dyed and braided armpit hair. There's also no mistaking the smell.

— Jessie Ramsey (@JRamsey323) May 6, 2015

#HowToSpotAFeminist She is super ugly and make men sad with her ugliness. #hugoawards please now.

— Shaenon K. Garrity (@shaenongarrity) May 6, 2015

Oh, wait, I think that last one is a ringer.

2) Feminists have smelly vaginas that may contain sand, cobwebs

Their vagina smells like their asshole because of the shit that comes from the inside flies right out their mouths. #HowToSpotAFeminist

— MG_SNAKE (@VenomIsLust) May 6, 2015

#HowToSpotAFeminist She says no when I ask if I can smell her vagina. Doesn't matter, it was probably her feet making that stench anyway.

— Bizarro! Gojira! (@BizarroGodzilla) May 5, 2015

https://twitter.com/Your_in_nation/status/595828853009993728

#HowToSpotAFeminist when you see the cobwebs and dust accumulated on her vagina due to years of no action

— Hood Uber Facts (@ComputerThug) May 5, 2015

3) These ugly, fat, hairy, feminists with stinky armpits and cobweb-filled vaginas sometimes resort to ad hominem instead of serious man logic

https://twitter.com/Sizzle75Ian/status/595854364859887617

#HowToSpotAFeminist USES SHAMING TACTICS INSTEAD OF REASONED ARGUMENTS pic.twitter.com/ZxC9CNJxkd

— Agent Smith (@HeroOfCanton42) May 6, 2015

Anyone that uses ad hominem attacks when arguing against a white male. #HowToSpotAFeminist

— Bill Nihilist (@BigDadStankDick) May 6, 2015

4) Feminists are Jews, or they’re controlled by Jews, or, I dunno, something to do with Jews

https://twitter.com/CapitalistMao/status/595752677163847681

#HowToSpotAFeminist by her Jew Hair

— AntiRacist Hitler (@AntiRHitler) May 6, 2015

#HowToSpotAFeminist pic.twitter.com/tSkUiu28Fl

— QuantumBIOS (@QuantumBios) May 5, 2015

https://twitter.com/ReddFields/status/595859969783762944

jewslose

5) Feminists don’t know what “real feminism” is, and need to have some doofus on the internet who refers to women as “cumsluts” explain it to them

https://twitter.com/CartoonRage/status/595858534690136064

#HowToSpotAFeminist They are the strident malcontents focused on imaginary oppression and petty complaints. They are NOT real feminists

— Peter Deacon (@AmerPatriot1) May 6, 2015

No ok let's be serious. #howtospotafeminist This is real feminism you western cumslut pic.twitter.com/KHKdy0jpUG

— Trump Does Christmas (@TsundereRager) May 5, 2015

6) Feminists think they are equal to men, even though they sometimes need to have things repaired

She can't fix a computer, change a tire, or lift more than 40lbs, but she thinks she should be treated equally anyway #HowToSpotAFeminist

— Christopher Cantwell (@voteforcantwell) May 5, 2015

#HowToSpotAFeminist she's the one talking about "toxic masculinity", but has her car towed to the mechanic when it breaks down.

— Jessie Ramsey (@JRamsey323) May 6, 2015

7) Feminists for some weird reason think that rape is bad even though they’re so ugly no one would even want to rape them

#HowToSpotAFeminist L00K F0R THE BITCH WH0 THINKS MEN NEED T0 BE EDUCATED 0N H0W T0 N0T RAPE pic.twitter.com/upbZzPbmwl

— JE$U$ 0F $UBURBIA (@MARTYM0NDAYS) May 6, 2015

#HowToSpotAFeminist She is the one being raped. By everything. pic.twitter.com/V6ZAM9gomV

— SnarkyCalvinCoolidge (@Southern_PUNdit) May 6, 2015

Often in a state of frenzy, either because they are due for a feeding or because some guy just threatened to rape them. #HowToSpotAFeminist

— Maggie O'Leary (@olearyos) May 6, 2015

#HowToSpotAFeminist She's the one worried about being raped, despite being so ugly no one would want her pic.twitter.com/eZnNWk1dTH

— Bisex Master (@bisex_master) May 6, 2015

#HowToSpotAFeminist They'll make themselves as sexually unappealing as possible and still believe that every man wants to rape them.

— Rachel Edwards (@naughty_nerdess) May 6, 2015

8) Feminists aren’t real women, possibly because they don’t like Hitler enough

Real women aren't feminists, they're too busy getting on with the business of being free and equal to be mad at nonsense #HowToSpotAFeminist

— Steve Vanden-Eykel (@impossiblebones) May 5, 2015

#HowToSpotAFeminist the ones who don't understand real women don't need them. We already have it all.

— me (@rentrikin) May 5, 2015

https://twitter.com/ThatFoxyShadow/status/595726000987742208

9) They have kept alive by men for all of human life and still are with male taxes.In 40years of feminism only assault men

https://twitter.com/Sizzle75Ian/status/595856408651902979

10) Whatever the hell is going on here

They pretend to hate the system they exploit for money & power. http://t.co/ACKrX18nqs #HowToSpotAFeminist

— H*nnah W*llen (@Oneiorosgrip) May 6, 2015

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Posted in: #gamergate, anti-Semitism, antifeminism, antifeminist women, creepy, dark enlightenment, disgusting women, empathy deficit, entitled babies, evil ugly women, female beep boop, mansplaining, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, MRA, racism, rape, rape culture, rape jokes, that's completely wrong, vaginas
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  1. megpie71 says:
    May 6, 2015 at 8:54 pm

    I’m tempted to point out to these guys that if they’re going to make themselves over into the living embodiment of any argument about “why vibrators are better than men”, they’re going to be paying the price in a lack of feminine attention. But I think they’ve already worked out the effect – their problem is they’re confused (or wilfully ignorant) as to the cause. Plus, of course, I’m a woman, so what would I know about important stuff like “what women like” and such?

    Reply
  2. Bina says:
    May 6, 2015 at 9:15 pm

    I’m not worried about people being pro Nazi because nobody takes them seriously and they have no power so they’re not a threat. Not true of feminism.

    O RLY? Last I looked, feminists didn’t build terrorist compounds in Idaho, Texas, etc. Neo-Nazis did. The only thing feminists are a threat to to that wall of idiotic shit you’ve built inside your head…which, quite frankly, deserves all the “threatening” it gets.

    Reply
  3. theluckyfrog says:
    May 6, 2015 at 9:36 pm

    I think I’m a stealth feminist because whenever I start ranting about some women’s or gender issues (and I mean I RANT), the predominant reaction I get is some confused blinking and “I didn’t expect this from *you* of all people”.

    I guess I throw people off because I dress very modest and feminine– people are always asking if I’m religious, far from it in fact– and because my default personality is giggly and somewhat demure. Men always compliment me on my personality, many even compliment me on my clothes. Then I’m all like SO X IS PISSING ME OFF AND HERE’S WHY and they’re just like… whoa.

    I really enjoy disabusing people of their stereotypes in this manner.

    Reply
  4. Robert says:
    May 6, 2015 at 9:44 pm

    Theluckyfrog – that sounds marvelous! Long may you disabuse.

    Reply
  5. Neurite says:
    May 6, 2015 at 10:31 pm

    I believe Lothar Hoat (of the “They find no humor in rape” tweet) has actually been unfairly included here. In the context of his Twitter, it seems clear that the implication is “because nobody should find humor in rape”.

    He made that tweet as part of a sequence of other tweets about male feminists. Other tweets include “they are able to extend the same courtesy to all women as they do their Mothers, Sisters, Wives & GF’s,” “they don’t believe in the inherent superiority of one sex over another, they believe in equality & celebrate differences,” and “they adore women and admire their strength, intelligence and achievements”.

    I find the phrasing he uses in some of his tweets (“as real men…”) a bit iffy, but it seems like his heart is definitely in the right place here.

    Now as for the other scumbags… shudder.

    Reply
  6. Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^) says:
    May 6, 2015 at 10:46 pm

    @Neurite

    Now that I’ve seen their other Tweets (and kinda sat down and didn’t skim read it), I agree. That one should be removed.

    Reply
  7. weirwoodtreehugger says:
    May 6, 2015 at 11:21 pm

    Good because that name is likely an ASOIAF reference and I want to think the best of fellow fans despite having encountered quite a few assholes on ASOIAF/GoT sites.

    Reply
  8. katz says:
    May 6, 2015 at 11:41 pm

    Grr, I was messing with my WordPress stuff and now it’s being a butt.

    Reply
  9. Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^) says:
    May 6, 2015 at 11:49 pm

    @WWTH

    I really should read those books. I’ve only seen the first 3 seasons, too.

    Reply
  10. David Futrelle says:
    May 7, 2015 at 12:42 am

    I’ll remove the lothar tweet, thanks for the head’s up.

    Katz, looks like you accidentally tried to post a couple of comments using a different account; I’m assuming you don’t want me to let them through.

    Reply
  11. David Futrelle says:
    May 7, 2015 at 1:15 am

    4th, I was engaging in a bit of hyperbole but in the case of the tweeters in this post I would say unironucally that they are indeed forces of darkness.

    Reply
  12. katz says:
    May 7, 2015 at 1:35 am

    Yeah, don’t worry about those comments. Stupid WordPress.

    Reply
  13. Spindrift says:
    May 7, 2015 at 1:37 am

    @the 4th survivor “Nobody thinks rape is funny except maybe people with mental illness.”

    Ableism’s not going to help your case any here. Also, from what I’ve seen, plenty of people think rape (especially men being raped) is hilarious, and they don’t think that cause of mental illness or feminism.

    Reply
  14. Mikki says:
    May 7, 2015 at 1:52 am

    Aww that sucks, one of those Nazi ladies is wearing milnjir, a Thor’s hammer. It’d great if we could celebrate our Norse heritage without being associated with damn neo nazi jerks. They kinda ruin it for the rest of us.

    Reply
  15. The average Stoic Sophist of today says:
    May 7, 2015 at 2:49 am

    “She can’t fix a computer, change a tire, or lift more than 40lbs, but she thinks she should be treated equally anyway”

    Um, yeah, this exactly what feminists believe. Equality does not depend on your degree of skill at automotive maintenance.

    Reply
  16. proxieme says:
    May 7, 2015 at 5:22 am

    The 4th said: “David was just kidding when he called anti feminists the force of darkness? I find that a little hard to believe.”

    In fairness, even if he wasn’t engaging in hyperbole, a pretty healthy segment of anti-feminists align with a movement that’s labeled itself “The Dark Enlightenment”, so…
    …There’s that.

    Reply
  17. Buttercup Q. Skullpants says:
    May 7, 2015 at 6:29 am

    She says no when I ask if I can smell her vagina.

    Whereas anti-feminists will always say yes to this request? How is this supposed to be a distinguishing field mark of feminists?

    The hashtag on that tweet should be more like “How to spot a woman with working creepdar.” Or “How to spot a woman who is going to reject you anyway before you even talk to her so you might as well neg her first with crude, unoriginal middle school gotchas.”

    @the4thsurvivor – sure, nobody thinks rape is funny. Except for the person who tweeted the glass joke. And all the “feminists are too ugly to rape hurr hurr” tweets. And all the people above who minimize it, as if the whole thing is one giant joke – “oh, there go those feminists, whining about rape again, nobody take them seriously”.

    And yes, anti-feminists are the forces of darkness. They lie, they harass, they doxx, they drive people from their homes. They post revenge porn and get people fired from their jobs. They steal logos, disrupt conventions, prank people for the lulz, divert funds from charitable organizations that are trying to do good in the world. They swarm the comment section of every article even tangentially related to gender politics, and smother honest discourse with nasty attacks on feminists and teal deers about how much the world should be catering to their boners. They’re trying to drive women out of gaming and comics and STEM and professional sports and even the internet. They give each other tips for manipulating and breaking down women so they’ll be obedient sex dispensers. They think unbangable women (over 25, over 150 lbs., short hair, tattoos, does not meet approved jawline algorithm, occasionally opens mouth to speak, etc.) should be shamed, punished, or invisible. Even the less vicious anti-feminists earn massive bro points by posturing as supervillains and competing to see who can say the most offensive, outrageous things about women.

    Any movement that does all this, that is fundamentally based on hatred and disrespect for half the human population, that wants to silence and stifle women’s voices and confine them to the bedroom and the kitchen, is a force of darkness. There is no love or compassion or light coming from anti feminists. Re-read these tweets. Notice the sneering tone and ugly, harsh, racist language. These people are bullies. They’re the bad guys. If you seriously can’t tell the difference, you need to get your moral compass checked.

    Reply
  18. sunnysombrera says:
    May 7, 2015 at 6:42 am

    This is the last I’m going to say on this but….

    Bryce, my bad. I read “aren’t critical” instead of “aren’t uncritical.” I wouldn’t have made my post if I had grasped what you really meant.

    Reply
  19. sunnysombrera says:
    May 7, 2015 at 6:47 am

    And yes, anti-feminists are the forces of darkness. They lie, they harass, they doxx, they drive people from their homes. They post revenge porn and get people fired from their jobs. They steal logos, disrupt conventions, prank people for the lulz, divert funds from charitable organizations that are trying to do good in the world. They swarm the comment section of every article even tangentially related to gender politics, and smother honest discourse with nasty attacks on feminists and teal deers about how much the world should be catering to their boners. They’re trying to drive women out of gaming and comics and STEM and professional sports and even the internet. They give each other tips for manipulating and breaking down women so they’ll be obedient sex dispensers. They think unbangable women (over 25, over 150 lbs., short hair, tattoos, does not meet approved jawline algorithm, occasionally opens mouth to speak, etc.) should be shamed, punished, or invisible. Even the less vicious anti-feminists earn massive bro points by posturing as supervillains and competing to see who can say the most offensive, outrageous things about women.

    Yup. They then turn around and claim that they don’t hate women, only feminism.

    Uh huh sure.

    Reply
  20. Lea says:
    May 7, 2015 at 7:54 am

    If being hairy makes a person stink, what do these men think they smell like?

    I notice that a female body unaltered with razors, diets, paint, perfume etc is ugly to them and “ugly” is the worst insult they think they can pay women.
    o.0
    They really do think everything is about their cocks, don’t they? I feel sorry for any women who have the misfortune to date one of these scumsuckers.
    (My apologies to plecostomus everywhere.)

    Reply
  21. Lea says:
    May 7, 2015 at 8:17 am

    Ablism, sexism and excuses for why Nazis are OK.
    4th, you are the perfect manospherean.
    You’re frustrated, confused, ignorant, hateful and think much too highly of your weak attempts at arguments. Did they create you in a lab or are you just another wonder of nature?

    Reply
  22. Dawn Incognito says:
    May 7, 2015 at 9:57 am

    Oh, I forgot to ask: David, where is that .gif in the main article from? Because it is uncannily like my ex, whose favourite pastime seemed to be typing loudly at people on the internet.

    Reply
  23. Spindrift says:
    May 7, 2015 at 10:28 am

    @Dawn

    Looks like David Mitchel, so I’d guess “the mitchel and webb look”.

    Reply
  24. JocTheWriter says:
    May 7, 2015 at 1:17 pm

    It’s time for these types to get over body hair. There’s a problem and it is not women who decide to not shave.

    Also, ugly? Smelly? Did these enlightened individuals ever evolve beyond grade school?

    Reply
  25. shannon says:
    May 8, 2015 at 8:12 pm

    Huh… well I’m a feminist. I also have been raped 4 times, so clearly someone(s) wanted to. And I’m poly, so my vagina sees plenty of use. And my boyfriend — a combat veteran Marine — will be surprised to find that him calling to have his car towed to mechanic this morning makes him a woman.

    Reply
  26. fruitloopsie says:
    May 9, 2015 at 9:18 pm

    So what if we are ugly, smelly and fat? Who cares, does that mean that we are nobody, less than human because we are unattractive and that we don’t matter? Same garbage different day anti feminists proving that their nothing but misognist, rape-advocating, stupid, hypocritical, creepy, obsessive vagina smelling, terriorists just like always.

    Shannon
    I’m sorry hugs if you want them.

    Reply
  27. Lynn says:
    May 20, 2015 at 1:00 pm

    Ah yes, feminists are ugly, ugly, ugly….. I’ve heard it all before. I guess wanting women to be treated better and not like sex objects is a crime against humanity.

    Reply
  28. cool says:
    August 19, 2015 at 12:09 pm

    I have no idea where the ‘feminists smell bad’ argument came from, but alright

    Reply
  29. Virgin Mary says:
    April 19, 2016 at 10:50 am

    Neck beards who live on chips and pot noodles and sit in their mums basement drinking beer and smoking weed wrapped in their Star Wars sleeping bag in their pants jacking off to porn all day smell bad, what about shaming them?

    Reply
  30. VioletBeauregarde says:
    June 8, 2016 at 2:08 pm

    Hmmm…let’s see:
    -I’m not fat
    -I’m even less ugly
    -I’m not smelly, considering that I am wearing clinical strength deodorant
    -I can lift over 40 pounds
    -I do have Jewish in me (one of my great-grandmothers was a German Jew)
    -My body hair is barely peach fuzz
    -I don’t presently know how to but I could learn to fix a computer or a flat tire
    -I have long, straightish, red (copper in shade) hair…hardly Jewish style
    They probably would mistake me for a non-feminist, till I start talking…oh, and bonus points, my voice is fairly low-pitched for a woman.

    Reply
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