Earlier this week, the Mars corporation set off another culture war skirmish by launching a new, all-female package of M&Ms as a way of showing some sort of candy-related solidarity with the women of the world. “We’re celebrating women who are flipping the status quo, transforming the world around them to make it a more colorful and welcoming place for all,” the company declared.
They also released a picture of two of the lady M&Ms holding hands, which could only mean one thing: LESBIAN FEMINIST candy!
Naturally, the folks at Fox News were outraged.
As was this famous ALPHA MALE (who I’m half convinced is a parody).
But no one was quite so angered by the lesbian separatist M&Ms as the alpha males in the Antifeminist subreddit.
“Flipping the status quo?” asked Forcetobereckonedwit.
Oh, you mean like getting those empowered wimminz out on the power poles in winter, at night, when the storms knock out the juice to a whole neighborhood? Yah .. I didn’t think so.
“Ah yes, doing anything to push the agenda onto kids who’s beliefs are malleable,” wrote the appropriately named Giga_mad69. “Seriously fuck the people trying to indoctrinate this kind of stuff into the youth, I hope they rot.”
“I’d rather support women by not encouraging even more of them to become overweight or obese by eating candy. 73% are, last I read,” wrote OkraGarden.
Just for the record, 68% of American women are overweight or obese, as compared to 77% of men.
The maddest of the lot was a fellow called username2136
Oh you want to flip the status quo huh? I bet you wouldn’t be saying that if you suddenly have to:
Work full time on a back breaking job where you are constantly getting yelled at by your boss over stupid shit.
Come home to a husband who only had to take a couple hours of his day to clean the house with nothing stopping him from listening to music or his favorite podcasts and plays video games afterwards.
Said husband constantly bitches about you needing to do your “fair share” of the housework after you are already exhausted from work or any other stupid nitpick like your boss already does.
Said husband rubs further salt in the wound by saying that you are a worthless piece of shit or that you are nothing but a “woman-child” or just straight up beats you if you tell him to go fuck himself and his stupid demands. Doing so knowing you won’t fight back because he will tell the cops that you were the instigator and they will believe him without question because that is what they are trained to do under the Duluth Model.
Have fun with that!
Q: How many antifeminist Redditors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: THAT’S NOT FUNNY!
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